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Donzie 04-02-2020 10:21

Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Dear Donzie

Today is day 1 of week 2. (Size AU 16)

I am feeling pretty good today after a week of low(ish) energy and dull headaches, I'm please to note though there was nothing extreme to report on my first week.

This is my second time around. I was successful in losing 36kgs in 2015/2016 during a 26 week period (SIZE AU 20 to SIZE 8 ). While the weight loss was amazing and transformative from a physical perspective, the real magic (for me) was the mental and emotional shift that took place in that time.

Quite incredible really that in a short 26 week period I had become a new person. I viewed myself differently, it appeared others viewed me differently. That fog of dissatisfaction, and probably low grade depression, lifted and dissolved more with each passing week. It was an extreme change both internally and of course externally. Kicking that fat suit to the kerb did more than just improve my physical health.
I was able to become more acquainted with a part of myself that was previously buried over. Hidden from view by negative thoughts and negative observations.

So, over the last couple of years (certainly more over the last 12 months) that person inside has become buried again in that fat suit of negative thoughts and observations. That general dissatisfaction has gathered more and more, manifesting in poor food and exercise choices and feelings of hopelessness when it comes to managing the battle of the bulge.

So, I know what to do. All things have their time (I believe) and this is my time to embark upon Donzie 2.0 in 2020.

I am writing this diary to document this process. This diary is for future Donzie (big wave to you future Donzie) I have got your back always, or is it you who has mine, I am hoping to create a type of road map we can travel together over and over and kick that damn fat suit to the kerb and manage life without it more permanently.

I want to remind you how much I love you. You are fun, creative and kind and have the ability to have and be anything you wish for. We have an important job to do. All those goals and plans we made require us to be happy to manifest them.

Now today, I will be reaching beyond those negative thoughts and feelings to go searching for you. I know your there I can feel you, I donít need to see you. I know you reside in the space beyond thought, I feel your quiet calling to me.

Till we meet again
Donzie x.

Kohinoor 04-02-2020 17:05

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Hey Donzie,
I really liked your thoughts in restarting. Your talk to your "inner Donzie" reminded me of several others on here who did similar things. For a bit of a look at how others faced their own path, do check out some of the latter pages of "gems" as there were several "awakenings" by several Cohenites.

You are sure to agree/applaud some, while others might be on a different path to yourself - but I guess it shows that there are many different ways to tackle the same issue. Some may be inspirational to you, while others you may just skip over. Whatever your choice, it is all good, and all yours.

Some wrote letters to their "Inner Fat Chicks", saying goodbye, and welcoming in their ISC's (you'll know who she is !! :D) Others valued talking to their "inner child" who they thought was sabotaging them just to get attention to long-held yet unresolved issues. Many different ways - no one size fits all, but all might be valid each in their own way.

In case you don't know of "Gems", click the link below to start at page 6, then read on. Of course, you can go to other pages too, your call !!

Rock on - go tag team with Kristine perhaps,
Koh :D

Donzie 13-02-2020 09:50

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Thank you Koh,

You are such kind and welcome presence on this forum. A wealth of knowledge and a committed force for good. When I did Cohen's the first time you were not on the forum at that time, and I always wished you were.

It is lovely to have you here this time.

Thank you again.

Donzie 13-02-2020 09:50

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Week 3: Day 3 (Size AU 14/16)

Dear Donzie,

Iíve got through the first two weeks. This is no minor achievement. Establishing those new patterns around food and water are never easy as your body and mind resist all change. So am feeling somewhat satisfied with myself.

That relentless mental chatter has had the volume turned down somewhat this week and in itís place is a calmer but slightly numb feeling. This is fine.

I feel like I have settled into an anchored pattern now. Being on the EP has eliminated so much choice that it is comforting to have so little to think about in terms of food and its associates. There is a bit of effort in the monitoring of supplies which really is a welcome distraction. I am up at the supermarket buying apples every few days and pondering my choice of leafy green veg. Silverbeet has been the vegetable of choice lately.

I keep forgetting to take the vitamins and upon closer inspection see they are well out of date anyway. They are probably doing nothing but I continue to take them when I remember. Long hair donít care.

Speaking of hair I had it all cut off. Just so sick of myself and how I look it was an easy decision. Chop it off. Done. One more less thing.
It makes looking in the mirror a bit easier, I look different now. Thatís good.

Work is busy. Too busy really. I am up early each morning monitoring emails before I get the kids up and ready for school. I wonder if I wouldnít be better off getting a full time job somewhere, this freelancing gig can be exhausting physically and mentally. You are either overwhelmed with too much work or in a panic because there is not enough. But hey, the grass is always greener, right.

I havenít been weighing myself. Iím not sure at what weight I began this EP. I realise this is not what the EP is about, itís all about the numbers. But strangely I donít care about them this time. Iíve had a weird relationship with the scale in the past where its feedback would effect my mood for the day, so I am happy to ignore all numbers this time around.

I did go back and look at some photos from 2015. I was alot heavier when I started last time, but I look now how I looked at about 8 weeks then. Somewhere between 85kg - 90kg. I estimate a total of 16 weeks of time before I am ready for refeed.

Last time I lost a clothing size every four weeks. With a large loss of over 8kgs the first month, then an average of 5 kgs per month after that.

Itís interesting to me how the tummy deflates first. My whole middle has been pulled in, I like this sensation. Of course no one around me has noticed anything yet, I am in the same clothes as per usual they are just a bit looser. I feel like Iím on a secret ďshrinkingĒ mission and Iím happy to be undetected in this quest for now.

I have two favourite times of the day. The first being that last meal of the day, dinner. I get dinner for the kids and hubby first, then I make mine. I usually save one of my apples for dessert and I love that feeling of fullness that comes from eating meal 3 and an apple so close together. Not long after that I am ready for bed where I normally read for an hour or two.

My second favourite time of the day is that first black coffee in the morning. I have been waking up super early and enjoying the quiet solitude it brings. I love that coffee, that quiet time alone.

Anyway, as always till next time,


Mich 15-02-2020 14:32

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Hi Donzie!

Great to meet you! I LOVE your post and resonated with it so so much! Looking forward to supporting you in the best way I can!

Donzie 28-02-2020 17:26

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Week 5 Day 4 (Size 14)

Finally over the 4 week mark, and now have my eye firmly set on the 8 week mark. My half way point.

Iím starting to feel quite good, the body has let go of a lot of fluid/inflammation and Iím feeling my energy levels rise with each kg that leaves.

My mind is clearer and I find myself in a nice state of neutral most days. A nice state of contentment.

I had a milestone birthday a couple of days ago and decided to treat myself to a head-to-toe spa session. First was the body scrub, then the massage, and finished up with a relaxing facial. A totally blissful experience. I was really able to calm my mind which doesnít always happen in these situations. But this time it did.

Yeah, Iím feeling pretty good. Clothes a generally looser, however not enough that anyone would notice but thatís ok. Iím also sleeping really well and waking up refreshed. The days feel like they are passing quite quickly as Iím busy and focused on everything but food most of the time.

Itís a good feeling to just let go and completely give yourself over to the EP. No wrestling thoughts on should I have this or that. Just keeping it very simple and not getting too creative with meals and recipes. Just sticking to a couple of favourites really and trying to not think too hard about anything.

Hopefully work will calm down a little next week and I should be able to fit a few more things into my week, like morning walks and online tutorials - you know the things we tend to drop when time is short.

Life is good, Iím a calm observer appreciating the small changes Iím seeing and eager for more. A good place to be in.

Till next time,

Donzie x

blondetastic 11-03-2020 19:04

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Hi Donzi,
very inspiring reading your posts. Thank you!! Glad you are noticing positive changes early on - but thats the norm on this EP. All the best as you head toward the half-way mark and the completion.

Donzie 14-03-2020 12:33

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Week 7 Day 5 (Size 13)

This week Iíve been wearing my size 13 jeans. How nice it is to be able to slip these babies on without cutting off the blood supply to my lower half. In fact everything I put on is looser and looking better than it has in quite some time. This makes me happy, very happy.

Actually I would go one further and say, I am happy, very happy with everyone and everything generally. Which is no easy feat given all the doom, gloom and fear pouring out of the newspapers lately. My rose coloured glasses are firmly in place and I feel in the flow with the universe. Yep, not even a global pandemic can kill my Cohenís buzz. How good is that.

(Hubby is quick to point out my Cohenís buzz will definitely be threatened if there is a national coffee shortage next after the toilet paper shortage, hmm.. he knows how to push my buttons. Hadnít even thought about that one.)

I am also brimming with energy. Iím sleeping well (and in bed earlier than my usual) and the result is my productivity has soared this week. Work has flowed in at a slower and more manageable rate which has seen me find time to knock over some much overdue housework. Iíve mopped floors, steamed off grubby little finger prints from walls and even cleaned the oven and windows. You know youíve got your act together when your cleaning your windows as itís always one of the last jobs on the to-do list, isnít it? Anyway, all these things combined have contributed to my happy state of wellbeing, and Iím going to milk it while I can.

The only problem I see on the horizon (apart from global pandemic and economic depression) is the social occasions coming up. There are birthdays, restaurant invites and now a wedding all presenting in the next 8 weeks. While it is lovely to be thought of and invited to these events, they do threaten to unhinge one being deep in the zone. Anyway, the birthdays arenít too much of an issue as they are for family, the wedding happens in my week 16 (I could make this my finishing treat) but the restaurant invite, hmmm...well, I could pull the ďmild coughĒ card and need to self isolate excuse? What better time?

I still have no idea of what I weigh or how much I have lost. But I know it is working as intended because life is just feeling that little bit easier physically, mentally and emotionally. Iím more aware of all the blessings that surround me, and of course the more you notice the more they flow into your experience, I believe.

I also believe while the world is a little crazy right now, things will return to normal eventually. In the mean time I going to try and enjoy the lower petrol prices and interest rates, and leave the worrying to others. Provided we all act to slow down this virus and allow medical services to focus more on those who are really in need. We should all be ok. I hope so.

Till next time,

Donzie. X

blondetastic 24-03-2020 15:46

Great attitude Donzie. I'm feeling it. I'm seeing this situation as a rare opportunity. Love your mindset!!

Sent from my SM-A305YN using Tapatalk

Donzie 01-04-2020 15:23

Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020
Week 10 Day 2 (Size 12)

I have sat down to write in my diary about 5 times now, but my thoughts keep changing and I have found it hard to commit any words to the page.

Initially I began writing words of fear. Fear of how fast our world has changed in the last few weeks. Fear for my parents in their 70s and fear for our economy. There was another post about the fear I felt for America and the hopeless situation we are seeing over there. Fear about our vulnerable place in todays world and what will be the broader fallout in it all.

But, today the fear has subsided. Itís still there, but what is the point? To fear and worry about something before it happens only means to suffer twice if it does happen. The fact is, itís a beautiful day outside. I have a roof over my head, and currently healthy family. I live in a country with a robust safety net and health care system. I am safe and I am well.

My responsibility here is to sit tight in our house and think thoughts of hope, calm and opportunity. To focus on life after this COVID-19 period. Yes, it will change our world possibly forever, but it will also give us the opportunity to do things better. To hit the reset button.

The truth is the world ends for someone somewhere every minute of everyday and there is no guarantee it wonít be us. I will not waste time worrying about things I cannot change. I will not. Itís a beautiful day outside and I get to experience that beauty right now. I am safe, and I am well.

So, with that out of the way.

Things have been going well. The total lack of social anything has been a great opportunity for me to just focus 100% on the EP completely and unselfconsciously. Iíve been fortunate in finding the necessary food I need, so itís been all systems go, and on a physcial level I am feeling really good.

I am waking up rested and energised. I have the energy I need to keep on top of the physical demands of keeping the house reasonably tidy and organised with two kids homeschooling and adults working. The days are passing very quickly now. I had to remind myself what day of the week it is - Wednesday in case your also wondering.

My poor dog doesnít understand why we arenít taking her to the park on these gorgeous Autumn days. But she gets a very early morning walk at 5.30am each morning so she will be fine.

Iím into my size 12 jeans now. Actually Iím wearing my size 13ís today and they are getting loose and slouchy just the way I like them. I have been having fun shopping my wardrobe, and wearing many things that have been tucked away in the back for a couple of years. I am in my own little bubble really, enjoying the wonderful experience of slipping on things that didnít fit 6 weeks ago but do now. Itís a lovely place to be in.

Life has gotten simple really. The rush of school, work, home, repeat, has stopped/slowed. I know it might not stay this way for too long, but for now I am going to try and see it as an opportunity. I know there are many working in hospitals and service jobs that would love to be at home now. My job is to stop, stay in, work my EP and be grateful. For I am safe and I am well.

Till next time.

Donzie. X

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