I've had a great day. I posted earlier about my dress for The Wedding and how good I think it will look. This afternoon I collected my shoes, which have been covered with the dress material. They look great. I'm thrilled with them. More importantly, I visited my clinic for my refeed consultation.
I can't speak highly enough of the consultants at the Geelong clinic. I have had consultations with each of them across the past nine months. They are all a fountain of knowledge and I always come out with new knowledge and feeling good.
My consultant is on holiday and I saw Bettina, who runs the clinic. She went through refeed with me, answered my questions and wrote down examples of how to work out what to eat, and how to spread it across the day, for a couple of the days of the refeed programme. I thought I understood it fairly well before I went in, but realised that her explanations were invaluable.
I mentioned that I planned to go to either the low end of my range (59 kgs) or until I was really hungry. I asked just what 'really hungry' meant, as I have had short periods of hunger, more hunger than usual, but can go for seven hours without feeling hungry if I am occupied. She asked if I used to get hungry before I started the diet. Light bulb moment. I have never had a good sense of either hunger or fullness. That's been part of my problem. Hunger was more likely to be cravings than real hunger. When busy, I have always been able to skip a meal without feeling hungry. On the other hand, I have continued to eat bits and pieces for a long time beyond when I must have been full and still not feel over full. Bettina then suggested that it was likely that I would reach the low end of my range without feeling extreme hunger. That made sense. Why should I experience it now when I never have in the past?
Next she asked where I maintained when I was slim. I used to maintain at 68 kgs reasonably well. That's 2 kgs above my current weight. If I went below that, I couldn't hold a lower weight for more than 2-3 weeks at most.
Other indications that I'm probably ready for refeed are the backaches, periods of feeling hungrier than usual, and a couple of feelings of really needing to eat immediately or I would collapse. My legs are heavy, always have been, and I'm not losing anything off them. If I was to go to 59 kgs they wouldn't be any smaller, and the rest of me would look anorexic.
So, I'm starting refeed tomorrow. If I'm not ready for it, apparently my weight will go up over the next few days. If that happens I will return to the diet and continue to a lower weight and more signals. If I am ready for refeed, I should continue to lose weight for a few days, then stop losing and possibly gain weight. The lowest point is my equilibrium weight.
Therefore, it's goodbye to the Personal Diaries board, although there is a possibility I will need to go back onto the diet and return to this diary. Ceburoo and Francesca, it looks like I can't wait for you. Sorry about that (I'm not really
). Good luck to each and every one of you with your own diet plans. I'm now off to start a refeed diary, although I will continue visiting Personal Diaries. I'll reply tomorrow to posts made in my diary today.
AJ