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Old 13-02-2020, 09:50
Donzie Female Donzie is offline
On my way - To a new me.
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 223
Default Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020

Week 3: Day 3 (Size AU 14/16)

Dear Donzie,

Iíve got through the first two weeks. This is no minor achievement. Establishing those new patterns around food and water are never easy as your body and mind resist all change. So am feeling somewhat satisfied with myself.

That relentless mental chatter has had the volume turned down somewhat this week and in itís place is a calmer but slightly numb feeling. This is fine.

I feel like I have settled into an anchored pattern now. Being on the EP has eliminated so much choice that it is comforting to have so little to think about in terms of food and its associates. There is a bit of effort in the monitoring of supplies which really is a welcome distraction. I am up at the supermarket buying apples every few days and pondering my choice of leafy green veg. Silverbeet has been the vegetable of choice lately.

I keep forgetting to take the vitamins and upon closer inspection see they are well out of date anyway. They are probably doing nothing but I continue to take them when I remember. Long hair donít care.

Speaking of hair I had it all cut off. Just so sick of myself and how I look it was an easy decision. Chop it off. Done. One more less thing.
It makes looking in the mirror a bit easier, I look different now. Thatís good.

Work is busy. Too busy really. I am up early each morning monitoring emails before I get the kids up and ready for school. I wonder if I wouldnít be better off getting a full time job somewhere, this freelancing gig can be exhausting physically and mentally. You are either overwhelmed with too much work or in a panic because there is not enough. But hey, the grass is always greener, right.

I havenít been weighing myself. Iím not sure at what weight I began this EP. I realise this is not what the EP is about, itís all about the numbers. But strangely I donít care about them this time. Iíve had a weird relationship with the scale in the past where its feedback would effect my mood for the day, so I am happy to ignore all numbers this time around.

I did go back and look at some photos from 2015. I was alot heavier when I started last time, but I look now how I looked at about 8 weeks then. Somewhere between 85kg - 90kg. I estimate a total of 16 weeks of time before I am ready for refeed.

Last time I lost a clothing size every four weeks. With a large loss of over 8kgs the first month, then an average of 5 kgs per month after that.

Itís interesting to me how the tummy deflates first. My whole middle has been pulled in, I like this sensation. Of course no one around me has noticed anything yet, I am in the same clothes as per usual they are just a bit looser. I feel like Iím on a secret ďshrinkingĒ mission and Iím happy to be undetected in this quest for now.

I have two favourite times of the day. The first being that last meal of the day, dinner. I get dinner for the kids and hubby first, then I make mine. I usually save one of my apples for dessert and I love that feeling of fullness that comes from eating meal 3 and an apple so close together. Not long after that I am ready for bed where I normally read for an hour or two.

My second favourite time of the day is that first black coffee in the morning. I have been waking up super early and enjoying the quiet solitude it brings. I love that coffee, that quiet time alone.

Anyway, as always till next time,

Donzie.x

Last edited by Donzie; 13-02-2020 at 17:29.
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