Goodbye letters to the old you

[thenewvee]

You have been a part of me from the moment I came into this world up until now. I know you would like to think you are still a part of me, but the truth of the matter is that we are no longer connected. The time has come to say goodbye to you and send you on your merry way, as you are no longer needed or wanted. You have served your purpose of running those old programs, but those programs have all changed and are still being changed today, and your version of them is old hat and no longer applicable to me as a person! Thank you for being a part of me and helping to make me who and what I am today.

I’ve discovered that while I’m not perfect (thank goodness, who needs perfection anyway, as it is too hard to maintain!) I have grown amazingly in inner strength and achieved amazing things despite a lot of the negativity that you always presented. I’ve gotten through some really difficult and traumatic experiences and I’ve survived to live on and keep growing and learning. I have come a long way and it was without your help and only your hindrance!!

Releasing the slim person from her fat prison is another important step in my journey and I know that so long as you are around and in my head/ear all the time, that slim person will remain forever enslaved by your dictates, so for that reason, it is also time to say goodbye to you, for ever! I’ve proven to myself that I can make it without you, I just have to look at all my achievements (single parenting, uni, working, weight loss).

I’ve hated the control you had over me; I’ve hated how you have run the show and I have been unable to prevent you from doing so. I hate that what you want conflicts with what I truly want. You’ve had your time, now it’s my time and I’m going to shine!

I can do this being careful of what I eat, for the rest of my life. I can survive disappointments and rejection. I can cope with stress, trauma and dramas without turning to food. I’ve learnt how to whilst doing this program. I know I love me, and that is the most important love of all! I love you too, because you have been a part of me for so long, but it is now time to let you go, and I let you go with love. I know you are resisting this because you do not like someone else being in control and you do not like the choices I am making that are not according to the programs that you run. You want to keep me where you always have, in a place of fear, hopelessness and loneliness. You want to keep me isolated from the joy of living and keep me hiding from life because I’m too uncomfortable to do certain things or too embarrassed to show the real me. I’ve had enough of hiding! I’m coming out and you are leaving! That is the only way it can be.

Having you in my life brings me too much pain. You only offer short term pleasure (like eating for comfort) that results in long term pain (being so overweight), and I’m no longer willing to accept that. I know I deserve better and I know I can achieve long term pleasure in having a slim, healthy body by saying goodbye to you forever and letting you go with love. I know you tried your best to do what you thought was best for me, but in reality it is not what is best for me, so I’m letting you go.

Goodbye forever, Bernice/fat me!
Vee