mcpsych's diary

[Panda]

Hi McPsych - what an amazing achievement! How completely cool, especially as it took you by surprise. I bet that keeps you motivated. Congratulations.

[giddyupgirl]

look at you, you are an absolute super star

[mcpsych]

thank you all
luv the star gug

[C-JAYE]

Wow, Mark, you can sit next to me on a plane anytime! You are an inspiration.

[mumandnana]

Hi Mcpsych, what is the Storm? sorry, I do not know what it is.All the best.

[mcpsych]

i put this in louise41 's maintenance diary but i thought i would put it here as well- as much for me as other readers

i had a thought
it seems to me that we have a persona that we adopt when we are fat and this becomes us ( i was always known as biggie, big fella, fats whatever) and this is our identity . people recognise us and relate to us because of this.
losing weight is like losing our identity. We start a weight loss program without a thought to the future. Sure, we know we want to be skinny and fab and wear nice clothes but we forget to make plans to become a new person.
Who are we if we are not The Big Fella- do we become invisible, a part of the crowd.
It is no wonder we get in a funk ( especially when people we dont know dont know we have lost all this weight so our claim to fame is meaningless to them)
Seek ye the truth within- who am i and how do i become that person and portray that person without a fat suit to hide behind.
just a thought

[Panda]

Hi McPsych - interesting to hear from a professional like you! I do agree completely and it affects everything in our lives. I think being overweight gives us excuses to not do stuff we really want to do and that changes how other people see us and treat us as well as how we treat ourselves. It's also easy to blame a lot on being fat and not doing it, thinking we'll be rejected.

So do you think that while we are shedding weight we should also be working on our psyches and changing our thinking? Ready for the new physical people we'll be in a few short months?

[jlou]

Good thought Mark.
My problem is more that I never really saw myself as THAT fat - I was in denial about how big I was and am shocked now when I realize how big I actually got.... So I have to make sure I don't creep back there...

You seem to be saying you need something in your life to replace the fat - to redefine yourself?

[C-JAYE]

Maybe we invite others to treat us the way we treat ourselves! So be good to yourself, be confident in yourself and be open to new experiences good or bad.

I think that as a bigger person I wanted people's acceptance, I wanted them to like me because it filled a need that I was not fulfilling for myself and although I have a lot more to go, I'm finding that I no longer need someone else's acceptance because I accept myself! Hmmmmmm...... we all need to accept the person we are becoming!

[mcpsych]

yes, we tend to define ourselves. I suspect that there are a some people who are defining themselves as a cohens person- someone who is losing weight. This is good as it replaces the definition that one is a fat person. However, when we have lost the weight we have lost our identity. it is not enough to be another skinny person as we are not identifiable in the crowd. it is, therefore, essential i think to work on our psyche , to begin to redefine ourselves and create an identity that does not revolve around weight and/or weight loss. Because once that aspect is gone the only way to get it back is to regain the weight ( and thus regain our identity) and that is something we dont want ( except unconsciously where we have a whole bunch of 'good reasons' waiting to be used)

[Lisa Joy]

Hello Mcpsych!!!!
I have only had a chance to read a few of your posts, but thank you so much for posting them. The first ones I read had such great food for thought about who I am, who I am becomming on this journey and who I will be afterwards. I have never been called anything that relates to 'big' but I guess I always have been. Lucky for me though I guess, I have never seen anything positive about being 'big' or 'bigger', so I don't see it as something I want to hang onto. But I have really taken on board what you have said about creating a new way of identifying myself as I go along - I really like the idea of being a hot Wife for my Husband and a fit healthy and confident Mum for my Kiddies. Sounds like a fantastic way to identify myself to me! So thank you for posting that so I could consider that. I don't want to end up back here again - because I don't know who I am anymore!

And I wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS for what you have achieved and because of your hard work, getting the reward of your experience sitting IN your plane seat. You must of been so psyced - pardon the pun- during your entire trip because of that. You have achieved so much, really well done! You must feel AMAZING!

Thank you for popping into my diary, I hadn't come across your diary before, and I am so glad that I have, because of your posts. So thank you. I'll pop in in the future and see how your travelling!

Lisa

[ConnieK..]

C-jaye -

this was exactly how I was -

I think that as a bigger person I wanted people's acceptance, I wanted them to like me because it filled a need that I was not fulfilling for myself and although I have a lot more to go, I'm finding that I no longer need someone else's acceptance because I accept myself! Hmmmmmm...... we all need to accept the person we are becoming!

That is pivotal to success after Cohens - beleive you are worth it - you deserve it and you are supposed to be it!

I had counselling after reaching goal because 'the girl in the mirror' was not the same as the girl in the brain .... it helped - a lot!

And what mark says is definately the next step - acceptance of our 'new' selves - some of us did it with letters to the old me - very cathartic ....

Whatever you need to do - it has to be done or our minds will seek out the old validated accepted you!

Sorry for the Hijack Mark

[hexi2]

Great reflections Mark - a critical part of the journey...

Funny how we start this journey....thats it, fed up i am going on a diet and going to loose weight. We dont realise as we shed our skin we slowly get to the core of our very existance...

[carrieanne_c]

McPsych, very profound observations. I have alot of those traits that the folks are describing, from never feeling "that big", but if I did fail at something it was because I was "fat", treating others nicer than I treat myself, doing things for others that I wouldn't do for myself etc. I like being the sassy thin person as opposed to be the sassy chubbo. Anyway, these michelins will be gone soon. I had a similar experience the first time i quit smoking for 2 years. Oh, what will the new shield be-or will we not have to hide behind anything?

[amouage]

Hey Mark
I was reading a terrific post you wrote about the effect of sugar on insulin etc, then lost it. Could you direct me to it when you have a tick please?

And by the way.... You are AMAZING!!!!

Am

[Panda]

I just had a thought which I thought I'd air in your diary Mark (oops) as it fits your current posts on the the psychological aspects of losing weight.

Is is just the weight, or does it go back further. Did we get fat because of something psychological further back in our childhoods? Therefore if the fat was a mask, do we have to deal with those other issues to avoid regaining the weight?

Bit deep for a Sunday morning I know..... I just have a niggling feeling with me it's the way back stuff. (the monster in the closet!)

[mcpsych]

Hmmmmmmm
one of the problems with symptomatic behaviour (alcohol drugs smokin food sex violence speeding etc etc) is that it is symptomatic
that is, you can bet there is anunderlying cause
now often, we talk about self esteem and self efficacy as the underlying cause
However, these are also symptomatic. They are things we can deal with in therapy and teach skills which improve, but ultimately we have to deal with the underlying issues.
For some people, yes, it can be early trauma , while for others it can be more recent events
for others it can be as simple as being accepted( peers and smoking for example)
MTC

[mcpsych]

While I am here
week 32
149 centimetres lost (was going to wait till 1.5 metres but close enough)
unbeleeeevable

[giddyupgirl]

, how freakin incredible are you? OMG, those figures are just so phenominal, you gotta be the Cohen's poster boy. Heck you have lost an entire 168cm adult woman, that is so awe inspiring. Ok now I am just gushing, but, I mean wow, just wow!!!!

[hexi2]

Wow mate you must be so chuffed with that and did i say its nice to have some males around the boards?