Findingme's Diary,

[Kohinoor]

Hi Findingme,

I made this diary to document the last leg of my wt loss journey & I know I'm going to get there, feel more determined than ever now.

Hey, that is good to read !! I know it is a hard journey for many, but the gains seem to outweigh the hardship.

It also seems to be even more "a journey of the mind" than it is a "diet". Stay strong and flick these last Kgs to the kerb, FM !!

Koh


Hi Lessthan,

Can you perhaps direct me to diaries with people that had a total of 17 or less to lose. Will really appreciate it.

Check out the "Hall of Fame" - http://newyouforum.com/forum/view.php?pg=nyf_hof

It is ordered from "Most to Lose" down to "Least to Lose" - so the names nearer the bottom have a less than 20Kg weightloss journey. Click on the Diary against each name.

One I recall was not even in the HoF - and that is LittleMiss - go here to read of her journey:-
Plan Diary - http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9443
Maintenance - http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10063

There may well have been others too, but I was "away for about 4 years" and many may have slipped by in that time.

Hope it helps,

Koh

[findingme]

Thanks Koh & Lessthan, I love getting replies😄

Sorry if my next bit upsets you, but it genuinely applies to myself & times.
"I abuse myself with foods because I believe I am broken & unloveable"
I can't remember when I found this quote but it really rang true for me. It also made me question my Cohen journey this time around. The first 30 KGS DF, in the zone, the whole lot. Since July, a mess. Could I do it then because it was so very obvious the broken bit, that I got approval, felt great & wasn't challenging the status quo. But where I am now is bleeding hard, I look 1000% better than when I started, getting comments that I've done enough etc, is it taking its toll. I may not now appear so broken or even unloveable to others now, so I can give up on my own goals because its acceptable? Not for me.

I think I need to change the quote to "I love & nourish myself with food by following the CLP because I am perfect & worthy of being loved & accepted just as I am, for being me" I put CLP because I intend it to become my lifestyle forever.

Sorry all, but I hope in a round a bout confusing way that the relevance can be seen.

Take care,
Jen

[Kohinoor]

Hi FM,

Wow !! Yeah, I imagine quotes such as that might ring true for some. I think too though, that the mind and the body are interwoven in so many ways, such that one action (small though it may be) from one "partner" can affect the other (i.e. an action of the mind affecting the body, or an action of the body affecting the mind).

On hear, even today, I am learning new things from all of you about HOW these complex interactions are shaping your futures. And it certainly doesn't appear to be "one size fits all", though there certainly can be similarities between each of you.

One piece I learned just last week was how even doing a "Reset" incorrectly can set one back onto the downward spiral. A reaction from the body thus has the mind over-reacting and accelerating the downward spiral. (By the way, if you aren't yet on Maintenance, you won't know about Reset - don't worry - just know how sensitive one part of you is to the other parts of you, and endeavour to "cut yourself a bit of slack" when things seem to be going wrong).

Where it has seemed to make sense to me, I've endeavoured to align lots of posts or topics within one thread so that you can get a heap of "the good oil" just by opening that one topic. As an example, have you seen this one? It's called "Important Stuff that often gets Lost".

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9170

As well, there are motivational threads where I endeavoured to highlight quotes or posts by Cohenites that sounded like they should be shared with all. One of those was the "Gems" thread - it has been neglected for a while, but there are some awesome contributions in there by "all of you" over time. Go have a read while you enjoy a coffee or ten overe a number of days perhaps - it is quite long and there are many awesome thoughts expounded within. Here it is:-

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3782

This "Gems" thread always was meant to be for others to share in - but please, it is not a diary. Keep it for those really special thoughts that you have read and you wanted to put them where others can find them.

Enjoy!! (i.e. smile, laugh, wonder, learn, cry, feel good, or whatever - a gem comes in many forms, emotionally speaking!)

Koh

[findingme]

Thank you Koh

Just to make you laugh, there is absolutely nothing about any part of the program that I don't know anything about. I know about RF, reset, maintanence guidelines, the amount you should be eating on M is your last day of RF pretty much, alcohol rules, sweets rules all the rules except it seems sticking to them😅 The only bit that throws me is mixing proteins, really, chicken & beef, fish & chicken, WHY? Sounds yuck to me!

[findingme]

Let's just say my ticker will probably die of shock the day I make it move towards my goal!
So to keep it safe, I'll weigh in & move it next week!
And remember, a fortnight from Monday to Christmas.
Take care
Jen

[findingme]

Just me
Weighed, wasn't happy, leaving ticker & keeping going. Was anyway until I went to eat a royal gala as supper, disgustingly floury, so refused to eat it!
Me for goodness sake. I know that many many of us have had meal disasters yet finished it anyway, but a floury apple is just asking too much. Had herbal tea instead.
So, a good day.
I was also busy between meals so that helped too.
TC
Jen

[lessthan10]

Hi Jen

Hope you well. You doing great. I also cannot handle floury Apple's, so u not alone.

Trying very hard to stay focussed. Find that taking my baby for a 20 minute walk helps me feel good and takes the mind off deviating.

I've told myself that no matter what, the bare minimum I need to do is at least not gain weight....

Hugs

F

[findingme]

Thanks F
Aren't they the worst!
Well done for walking when you feel the Dev bug biting. My hardest time is after 9.30 at night though. I am not walking then😅

I agree, not gaining is a good thing, helps with not feeling bad after also.

Another day going well. I just want to be able to have enough days 100% to get into the zone & not have to fight this emotional, night eating nonsense!

Take care, you will get there F!
Jen

[tess840]

Ugh! Floury Apples suck! I had a rotten one at work the other day so had to bin it! Lucky I was busy so i didn’t ‘need’ it. I find 3-4 o’clock in the afternoon is my weakness. I have been trying to save a fruit allowance for then. I’ve also been stocking up on Mangoes because I love them so I find if I have that to look forward to in the afternoons it’s helping me stick to plan! As F said, as long as the scales are not going up then that’s not too bad. Keep going and don’t give up! You got this ☺️


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[findingme]

Thanks Tess
I also find having something to look forward to food wise helps too. I love apple/apricot slice at night since I've now declared apples as dodgy.
You sound like you're doing well.

Hey, LT, you were up very early. I'm more a night owl, get up before 7 for brekky then go back yo sleep.

Going well so far today, but night is still to come 😕 I do feel like I have this though, esp as last night when I couldn't get to sleep I just had a chamomile tea, last week it would have been Ovaltine (have discovered I can drink it without milk, how sad is that!)
Just saying, I wish my weight would move down as easily as it can go up & then stay at the heavier weight. Any one else experience this also? 😄

All the best everybody & take care.
Jen

[findingme]

Just me

Getting there slowly, nights so far have been good. Must say, today has been a bit harder because I have been feeling a bit wobbly, only really a day 3 again,physically, not mentally thank goodness.

Tess, I find that if I buy myself mangoes, pawpaws, or even if I precook my chicken, etc that my 3 hungry ones eat them.


Lately they've taken to my mozz cheese & saladas crackers. I only yell like a looney 😄 if they pinch food off my plate once I've made it for my meal. Once, I had to cook myself 3 of my dinners because little fingers kept helping themselves. Annoying😊 Any one else experienced this?

Have found keeping a crackers & fruit for supper with a cup of tea is helping my night time cave in time.

Keep going everyone, we can do it!
Jen

[findingme]

OK, over holidays already! 😅 Made my lunch, chicken nugget type things when a hungry teenager decided that it smelt good & I had to make mine again. At least they're eating good food. Will put more chilli on it next time as a deterrent!

[findingme]

Am really debating if I should now wait until after Christmas & then recommit fully as hoped.

[Kohinoor]

Hi FM,

Made my lunch, chicken nugget type things when a hungry teenager decided that it smelt good & I had to make mine again. At least they're eating good food. Will put more chilli on it next time as a deterrent!

I have a little thought for you, FM. Having seen above, and then this one following, I think you can do with a few wise words.

Am really debating if I should now wait until after Christmas & then recommit fully as hoped.

And those words go like this - Now and then we need to be SELF-ish. For our own good, sometimes we must put ourselves first. See, a teenager can wait a bit until you have eaten your (carefully measured) meal - or they can make their own, or they can ask for your help AFTER you have eaten. Right now, YOU need to be first. I suspect you put them first for many years in their younger years - but right now, YOU are paramount.

Check this out:- http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthr...671#post345671

Now that last link was to my words - but hey, let's see what other Cohenites think too :-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthr...708#post326708

That last one was me trying to help someone who sounded a little lost, and I was saying I thought she needed to be a bit "selfish". But then the conversation went on, and it was obvious that she was struggling bigtime. At that point, I was SO pleased to see so many Cohenites step in to give her a "leg up".

I admit I haven't even read it through to the end - it was simply that my "selfish" thoughts and your "giving up till after Christmas" seemed to make THIS thread appropriate, and I liked how the others all stepped up to help out. I hope you get something from it too, FM.

Hugs,
Koh

[findingme]

Thank you so much Koh, I will read them now.
Luv
Jen

[findingme]

Just me again
Thank you so much, I read it all last night.!

Just to clarify, by after Christmas, I do mean Boxing Day! 😅

I am doing this because in reality, I have been Cohen diet thinking for close to a year, so when I eat off plan comes the guilt, shame ,anger, bingeing, yoyoing etc. This is more a mental break for just over a week, so that I can come back with renewed vigor for the EP.

I would say I have been 'selfish' so to speak, I cook myself separate meals, bake for the hungry horde & they certainly do know what I am doing g. I think its just because its holidays & they're around when I cook my lunch, they're used to me having steak for dinner though! 😅

I will get there
Take care
Luv Jen

[Kohinoor]

Hi FM,
One thing is for sure - you know you a helluva lot better than anyone else does. So, whatever is 'right' for you, is right. If that means stepping off diet for a bit, so be it.

In a way, I liken it to giving up smoking. It might take a few goes, but, if you stick to it, you WILL win. I've been a non-smoker for 3 years come January, after trying for quite some time.

I guess a non-Cohens Christmas would take a lot of pressure off you - but, from your own words, maybe it puts pressure on too? You said "when I eat off plan comes the guilt, shame ,anger, bingeing, yoyoing etc." I hope your 'break' leading up to Christmas doesn't have you feeling THAT way !!

Have a great Christmas, whatever happens,

Koh

[findingme]

Thanks Koh
You too!

[findingme]

OK guys
Talk about my Libran balance being out of whack!
I swear, I have chased that bloody bus for a good five blocks & I am now back on board thank goodness. I really didn't like where I was when I got off, so been chasing it ever since!

Also binge watching My 600lb life & Fat Doctor got the better of me.

So, new scales ordered for weighing myself, prob around 20 KGS to get to my lower end of goal & my daughters birthday in March. So I am going to sit back in the air conditioned comfort of the bus & enjoy this journey! (Apart from sounding like a bloody looney) I am going to do the same as when I lost my 30 KGS first up, just 3 meals a day & no snacking, my crackers & fruits included with meals of course.

So, let's see then
Take care everyone
Jen

[findingme]

Can't update ticker, must be my silly phone, grrr. Nothing happens when I try & click on my ticker