Shanara's Diary - Page 35

louise41 · #**681** 16-05-2009, 22:49

I am so pleased to hear you are "shining' I am sure we will meet up and I wont have any trouble picking you out - you will be the one who is shining!

missparker · #**682** 18-05-2009, 09:35

Hi Shanara - hope you had a lovely weekend away! You'll have to tell me about your 'raindrop' technique..... I love holistic treatments so if you recommend it then let me know!

Fingers crossed you're a 70's girl now as well!

Take care
Rechelle

Shanara · #**683** 19-05-2009, 09:01

Well, lots of stuff happening except on the scales!! Bit frustrating but I know I am integrating big time.

Yesterday, in beautiful downtown Brisbane tried one some jeans - size 12!! yeah - didn't buy them - they were hipsters - will have to go to targee and find my full waisted ones - suit me so much better. Know that I am shrinking - can feel it in my bdoy. I rememebr back years ago to when I did Jenny Criag and got to this point - bought the new jeans - was so surprised I could fit into a size 12 then gave away the programme because I thought the guy I was with - father of my children didn't like me doing the programme. It was a gradual, and at times not so gradual increase from there until 6 months ago.

So what has been coming up for me big time this last few days - well over a week actually is how I have totally given myself away to be in relationship. Have had much emotional turmoil - much shifting and many insights - has been a huge journey. Have been on my own now for a few years - of course. Why would my inner knowing allow me to be in relationship if I am going to give myself away and not be true to who I really am. So this weekend two potential playmates made other choices. Oh I could make it about them - but it's not. they are just playing their part so that I get it. How important it is to me to stay true to who I am and not just forget about what makes my heart sing to be in a relationship. Have had to feel how much I want to be wanted. This gets back to how much the little girl just wants to be wanted by her daddy. (Oh no, I can't even type this without the tears coming.)

I know this too shall pass - just feels really vulnerable and hurty at the momment.

Well, will I ever get below 80kgs - hope so.

Funny did a lot of walking on the weekend and it feels so good to move my body. Think I might begin exercising again. Might go to aquaaerobics again this afternoon.

Rechelle - great weekend away - the raindrop technique was wonderful - highly recommend it. PM me if you want details.

Louise - know I am shining although at momment feels a bit tarnished.

Vee - great to catch up - we looked pretty good - both of us. Thanks - looks like emotional turmoil is still on the agenda. At least until I finally get to the bottom and release it.

Jenna - guess it's really up to us how much power we allow other people's comments to have in our life. I am learning that one as well.

Mette - looks like we are both doing some spring cleaning - of the mind and emotional body.

Hope everyone is having a fat dropping week -
blessings
Shanara

Mette · #**684** 19-05-2009, 09:35

Oh honey... now you're making me teary!
Sending you lots of big hugs and lots of positive energy.
The emotional spring cleaning can be rough, but once it's out and the wound gets some air, it starts healing a lot faster.
Keep shining, beautiful lady! You deserve every happiness!

Rach77 · #**685** 19-05-2009, 14:51

Oh Shanara you really are having a rough patch aren't you. I'm sure you will work through all the head stuff and then those scales will be on the move again.

Bigs hugs

Rach

shell · #**686** 19-05-2009, 17:48

Hi Shanara,

You will get under 80kg, I have no doubt!!

Keep working on the emotional, it will make it much easier in the long run.

You have done a magnificent job so far, you should be very, very proud of yourself.

Shell

louise41 · #**687** 19-05-2009, 20:11

Ditto what Shell said and one of those big hugs as well.
I was sad to read you gave up Jenny Craig because of your partner - please make it about yourself and the very best for you this time - you deserve it!
Good luck with the size 12 jeans. Have you tried some of the ones that are slightly below the waist but not real low - I find them so coomfortable!

Kohinoor · #**688** 19-05-2009, 20:22

Hi Shanara,

OMG - there is a WHOLE BOOK in these few words of yours ....

Quote:

Oh I could make it about them - but it's not. they are just playing their part so that I get it.

What can I say, except "You say it SO well"

I have no doubt you will overcome all of this - how could you not, with insights such as those,

Hugs,

Koh

Mette · #**689** 20-05-2009, 02:54

Hey beautiful!
Just checking: You in the Mango Challenge this fortnight?

yeti · #**690** 24-05-2009, 16:32

Ditto what Koh said honey - your wisdom is beautiful, thanks for sharing it.

carrieanne_c · #**691** 24-05-2009, 17:00

you will conquer the 80 kilo mark and leave it in the dust

Gorgeous one · #**692** 24-05-2009, 17:42

Shanara,

Sending you big hugz and kisses

Boy this journey certainly entails more than just losing weight. We humans are certainly complicated beings and have so much to sort out but it is all for the best when we can unload all that excess baggage we try to avoid dealing with. Good on you for searching through a lot of painful stuff. Boy oh boy size 12 (I wish) I am so jealous. hahaha.

Look after yourself and hope to catch up with you next time you are in Brissy.

Michele

Joroma · #**693** 24-05-2009, 18:49

Have taken sometime out to catch up with whats going on in the forum. Just stoppped by to thank you for visiting my diary & to check out how things are going with you?
Amazes me how we all have different emotions coming up, & most of them family orientated??!!?? Oh the old emotional body, sorry cut out the old!!!
Take care special lady & maybe we will get to play some music again soon.
Big hugs & blessings
Joroma

Shanara · #**694** 25-05-2009, 21:36

Has been a few days since i have been on here in my own diary. Less confronting to be in other people's - I can not face what is going on for me.

Tonight I have to be honest - I am really struggling at the momment. It is like my body has just decided that it has had enough. It feels like my body wants to take some time to integrate all the changes. It wants to dance - every day. Went dancing last night and enjoyed it immensely.

Someone gave me a Chakra dance Cd and I am going to do it every few days. I just want to move my body yet I know it makes staying 100% more challenging. What to do? One of the things i have done on this programme is learn to listen to my body.

At the momment it feels like my body is saying enough for now and I want to move. Think I will go for an appointment at the clinic - I need to talk over some things. Have worked through a lot of emotional stuff recently and just wanting to integrate for awhile. I have lost a lot in a fairly short amount of time just feel my body is wanting to stop for awhile.

Joroma - thanks for visiting my diary. Perhaps when you have less on your plate we can play some music.

michelle - don't be jealous. It has its momments! Yep size 12 feels pretty good. You are so right about the journey being more that just about weight loss. we have to get to why it is there in the first place. What purpose does it serve.

Carrieanne - I wonder - i'm glad you have confidence in me.

Yeti - thanks - not feeling so wise tonight. Feel better to read your beauitful comment.

Mette - not at the momment sweetheart. Thanks.

Koh - i certainly hope you are right. Thanks for your support as always.

Louise - Yes this time it's about me. Can you beleive how different the sizing is ?? Some fit - some are like far too small. I am having such fun shopping.

Shell - thank you so much for the vote of confidence. I feel proud of what I have done so far. Just feel like my body is wanting something different so a bit confused. Love the emoticon.

Rach - thanks - seems a bit far off.

Mette - you are a great role model for emotional clearing so guess we are walking this path together.

Thanks everyone .....(singing...... with a little help from my friends.) la la la

Shanara

Kohinoor · #**695** 25-05-2009, 21:50

OMG, Shanara,

Quote:

(singing...... with a little help from my friends.) la la la

I hope you don't "need some Wonder Loaf"

I'm sure it is not Cohen friendly

(Great link, BTW - I had tears streaming while I watched it)

Hugs,
Koh

PS For others reading this later - go here :-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7790

....to see what we are giggling about.... Joe Cocker as translated by others singing (??) "I get by with a little help from my friends" at Woodstock.

Mette · #**696** 26-05-2009, 00:28

I will never be able to listen to that song again without giggling! That was so much fun!

I'm sorry you're struggling, love. I'm sending heaps of positive energy your way!
I think you should dance. Don't overdo it, but listen to your body. If you need to dance, you should. I think it will help relieve some of all the emotion you have inside - the good, the bad and the ugly. For me, that's what walking or pumping on the exercise bike does.
Big hugs, beautiful lady!

missparker · #**697** 29-05-2009, 09:24

Hey I've just noticed that you seem to have hit the 70's - well done Shanara!

Shanara · #**698** 29-05-2009, 09:41

Just a quick check in - yes I am now a 70's woman .........

yeah me

and have lost 55 kgs!!!!

My Cohens journey has taken an interesting turn and I will fill you in when I have more time. For the momment just trying to catch up on things i have got behind on in the last few weeks when my brain was doing an impersonation of a washing machine.

Rechelle - thanks for noticing!

Mette - listening to my body has become paramount - will fill you in later - thanks for your support. Have felt very vulnerable lately.

Koh - That link just brightens up my day. When I am down - that link is a quick fix - movie 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert' for movie length fix.

Got to dash - have to get to others diaries this weekend if i have time. Life is becoming vey busy as I go dancing ...lol.

Blessings
Shanara

RosemaryFNQ · #**699** 29-05-2009, 10:35

Wow Shanara - 55 Kgs. CONGRATS !!! Sorry to hear you have been struggling lately. You are such a positive inspiration to others in their diary including mine. I really appreciate your visits.

You should be proud of yourself and I hope you can climb over the latest hurdle and power on.

Thinking of you,
Rosemary

Claire in Brisbane · #**700** 29-05-2009, 18:50

Oh Shanara, 55 kilos gone is just fabulous - well done to you!!
All the best,
Claire.