Shanara's Diary - Page 36

Mette · #**701** 29-05-2009, 18:56

Beautiful 70s woman!!
And 55 kilos gone! My god, you are inspirational!
Sending you big hugs!

carrieanne_c · #**702** 30-05-2009, 06:48

fantastic shan! so good to see you getting towards your goal-hope you're feeling happier! If not : Lay head off the edge of the bed that lets all the blood rush to your head and turns a frown up side down.

thenewvee · #**703** 30-05-2009, 13:35

I've almost missed the party!
What awesome news, you are a 70s woman!

Wooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo!!
Awesome stuff!

Sorry I haven't visited for a while, just dealing with stuff at the moment as well!

You are doing fantastically, listening to what is right for you and going with what your body is saying! That is a real talent in itself!

Thanks for all your support and for your friendship!
Big hugz!

Vee

Shanara · #**704** 31-05-2009, 20:52

Well it has been a turbulent time for me in the last few weeks on Cohens.

I have been so hungry, incredibly hungry and also had headaches and waking up early. I have been having trouble staying 100% which is very unusual for me. Seems like I was back in the war with my body.

To cut a long story short, after talking with my clinic my refeed has been ordered and I will start soon. For now I am having a little extra protein and a little extra veges each day and it has made the world of difference. In fact the next day after I started I lost 1.2 kgs. I have also been able to stay 100%.

Firstly I want to say that this feels totally right for me and I am very happy about my decision. I have discussed this with my clinic and she is also totally in agreement with what I am doing. She is supporting my decision.

i have lost 0ver 55 kgs in around seven months. I am in a size 10 - 12 - 0r 14 depending on what it is. I feel healthy and well and look twenty years younger - or that's the feedback I keep getting. I have achieved this with relative grace and ease although some days have been difficult.

The last few weeks I have really struggled. I have been constantly hungry and had headaches a lot. I don't normally get headaches. have been so hungry sometimes I can't sleep. my body wants to move: to dance, run, swim, walk. I don't have the stamina. My skin is getting very loose.

When I look in the mirror I am really happy with what I see. It feels like my body is saying enough ...for now.

I go to America on July 8th and I know that I will struggle with the programme if I am still on it. Although I have done lots of travelling I have been able to take my stove, esky, utensils, scanpan etc with me. In the states I can't do that for various reasons.

By starting refeed now I will be a couple of weeks before i go which means I have time to ease into maintenance before the flights and the travel. I will weigh each day and monitor my body. I intend to continue with a refeed type approach where I will just keep reintroducing foods and see how my body responds.

Then I will maintain in America. In that time i also intend to dance and move my body. I am giving myself time to integrate all the changes.

Maybe I will then be happy to stay this weight - maybe I will decide I want to loose more. If so I will buy a new programme which suits my now slimmer body.

This whole change has been a huge one. i haven't been this weight for over 18 years, I am happy to stop here and see how I go. The feel so happy to have made this decision and thought I would have to fight my clinic but actually she has agreed that for me, and this is only for me, the decision is right. I am not saying this is right for anyone else - just me. Each of us has to listen to our own bodies and make our own decisions and know for sure that it's our body we are listening to - not just a mind trip.

So that's my decision. I know this might not be totally in line with what Dr Cohen says. I love and appreciate him. I am so grateful for this wonderful programme which has helped me achieve something I thought was impossible for me. I totally respect his work and also know that for me at this time it is the right decision.

This is not the end of my Cohens journey and i'm not totally sure how it will work out. If I have made the wrong decision I will have a new blood test, pay my money and get back on the programme. Yet it feels really right for now so refeed here I come.

Blessings
Shanara

Shanara · #**705** 31-05-2009, 21:01

Just wanted to thank everyone for posting in my diary - your support over the past few weeks has kept me smiling. I knwo I haven't been in lots of your diaries and will try to remedy that in the next few days.

Vee - thanks also for your friendship and support.

to you to support your journey.

Carrie anne - interesting perspective when i lie head down on the bed ...lol

Mette - thanks gorgeous - mirror, mirror, I think your an inspiration.

Claire - thanks for your supportive words. Hope all is unfolding well for you as well.

Rosemary - will try to get into your diary soon. Thanks for your support.

Thanks for sharing our journeys everyone,
Shanara

yeti · #**706** 31-05-2009, 21:05

Hi Shanara,
As Dr Cohen can't do personal face to face consultations, I believe that YOU are the best judge of your body and how it's travelling. Congratulations on doing so well, and for having the courage to make the decision to try refeed before you're at goal weight. I'm sure it will work out well for you - it's certainly a LOT better than not doing refeed at all.

I hope you'll keep a refeed diary!

Rach77 · #**707** 31-05-2009, 21:28

Hi Shanara,

You know you better than anyone else. You have seeemingly cruised through the program up till this point so for you to be struggling so much it has to mean something. Health comes first is something that I have heard many people say and I am glad that you are putting your health first. In your last post you were sounding much happier and more positive than you have for a while. This tells me that you have made the right decision. You have been an inspiration to me since I started the program. You have showed so much strength and determination. So thank you for the advice and the kind words that you have for all of us. I wish yoiu nothing but the best in the next phase of your journey.

Big hugs to help you on your way.

Rach

carrieanne_c · #**708** 01-06-2009, 06:14

I would rather dance than have headaches tooo! since you are not taking cooking equipment put me in your suitcase!Say Hi to Barack and all my friends! I think if you keep the basic principals that we learn on this program you can maintain and lose -so when do you get your refeed diary you wild rebel?

Kohinoor · #**709** 01-06-2009, 06:58

Hi Shanara,

It was SO good to finally meet up yesterday... I had hoped to meet with you and Dedee when she came to Sydney. It didn't work out for me then, but we made it happen yesterday

Quote:

I feel healthy and well and look twenty years younger - or that's the feedback I keep getting.

I couldn't get over how nice your skin looks (or maybe that was the glow of your smile that was lighting up your face) - whatever, you certainly look healthy. I can't comment on the "20 years younger", as I didn't know you before. Suffice to say, I easily understand you being happy when you look in a mirror.

I can't agree MORE with Rach's comment:-

Quote:

In your last post you were sounding much happier and more positive than you have for a while. This tells me that you have made the right decision.

The fact that you dropped over a Kg as soon as you added that bit extra food tells me the same thing too.

I agree with all of the other comments too, from Rach and the others.... You have been a leader throughout - not your fault that your body has called "TimeOut" (but, thank heaven you were LISTENING to it).

Wherever this takes you next, keep on inspiring (I suspect you will, just by being you - no intention on your part, maybe, it will just happen).

Rock'n'roll, girl - get that bod dancing

Koh

Mette · #**710** 01-06-2009, 07:32

I can be the mirror on the wall! I think all Cohens people are the fairest ones of all, so I'm not sure I'd work quite the same way as the one in the fairy tale though.
Can I come to a Cohenite hookup with you when I come back home?

Shanara · #**711** 01-06-2009, 07:43

Wow - this journey continues to be a big learning curve.

Last night I learnt about comparison - it can be an insidious thing! Went into a few diaries and it seemed like everyone i went into was struggling yet holding strong to the programe and some had less to get to goal than me. so my head came in big time and said - I was being weak - shouldn't be starting refeed. Then head started into abig party: your letting the Cohens 'side' down. how can you hold your head up in here - you've just wimped out rah, rah, rah ....I'm sure you can guess the rest.

By the time i went to bed i had lost that connection to me ...and my head had fabricated some pretty big stories...... all based on comparison. Now I do know that comparision can be an odious thing which disturbs our peace big time.

Well, funny thing happened this morning - got on the scales and there was a downward movement. Not a big one on my ticker but .5 on what I was when I weighed yesterday. This is really significant because for the last couple of days I haven't been having all the extra food the consulktant advised and yesterday I did - every last ounce ...and the scales have moved downward. When I decided to try not having the extra fruit and see how i went - I increased in weight - only .6 but an increase nevertheless. Then I came in here and read this gem from Koh:

Quote:

not your fault that your body has called "TimeOut" (but, thank heaven you were LISTENING to it).

So my learning continues - and it is learning about my body and I will not compare myself to anyone else's journey. Just be aware and monitoring my journey. The extra food is working - will eat all my extra food today and see what happens.

There was a part of me that couldn't believe extra food could allow me or even cause me to loose more weight. Part of my conditioning is that to loose weight I have to eat less food - not more. Always less, less, less. Well seems that is not right - so now have to let go that belief system.
Nat's maintenance diary shows that one can eat quite a bit of the right combinations for our bodies and not put on weight. Am excited that now the journey begins to learn what is the right combination for my body. Yeah. Hope my refeed arrives in my letterbox today. I know it is an 18 day programme - clinic has already told me that part. Now i am getting excited about refeed. so interesting to be on the journey of discovering my own body.

Thanks everyone for your support - means a lot. I guess i was expecting condemnation as I knwo I am going outside the norm for Cohens. Yet have found lots of support - thanks.

I am reading an amazing boook at the momment by a woman I really admire. In that she talks about listening to your Miwi - your inner knowing. She says if you listen to it then you always do what's best for you eand even if you realise later it was not the right choice - it was your choice so is your mis take and there is learning around it. If you listen to others then this is not the case.

For those who might be interested the book is 'under the quandong tree' by Minmia, a senior aboriginal woman. Wonderful book about aboriginal healing and I have had the great pleasure to attend some of minmia's workshops. Inspirational Woman!

Koh - you are such a gem - thanks you. Wonderful to meet up with you too. I am just doing this journey the best way I knwo for me. If others gain inspiration from me that's wonderful. I was also inspired by others who walked before me.

Carrieanne - I feel that my journey with Cohen's will be a lifelong one so am not in a great hurry. From the look of you I could put of you in my suitcase - but only on the way over - shall be full of clothes on the way back .... heheheheheheheh. lol have always been a rebel. My dad called me a maverick once - I thought it was a great compliment even though he didn't mean it that way.

Rach - oh so sweet - you bought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much. It feels right at this time so if i am making a wrong turn it is my wrong turn and I will learn from it.

Yeti - oh sure will keep a refeed diary - I have much to learn about my body. Will be keeping a track of the learnings.

Well off to learn about my new laptop I am buying. then I will be able to type much better than this old one that is jumping all over the place.

Blessings
Shanara

Mette · #**712** 01-06-2009, 07:56

I know what you mean about comparison. I have been doing the same thing, feeling like a failure when I didn't maintain as well as other people here on the forum. I forgot that our journeys are as individual as our programs. I had more growing and learning and developing to do, and I think it will become a lot easier and smoother for me from here.
You have everything to be proud of, beautiful lady, and nothing at all to regret. You are doing what is best and what is healthy for your body. Stand proud! Whether this is where you want to be weightwise in the end or whether you decide to lose more later on... burn that bridge when you come to it (sorry, Viking heritage taking over again

) For now, rejoice in what you have achieved, because it is truly remarkable!
Sending you lots of hugs!

Shanara · #**713** 01-06-2009, 13:04

aHa ha

Am in the new apple store in town with my new Mac laptop. Oh yes, now I shall be better on the forum - was having so much trouble with my old laptop. The typing on my new one will now work without having to sort out what I have written .... yeah.

So greetings to you from headquarters of Australian computer land.

Quote:

I forgot that our journeys are as individual as our programs. I had more growing and learning and developing to do,

Mette - very wise words - i think this part is critical for continued success. the programme is really the easy part.

and I think you have been doing your growing and learning very diligently and that it will become much easier every day. you are a star beautiful woman and have given much as you share your journey.

Well done and thanks for your support.
Shanara

Imfef · #**714** 01-06-2009, 16:43

Hey Shanara,

I went through the same 'guilt trip' last week when I decided to go on refeed early too! However, our consultants wouldn't let us have them if they thought it would be better to stay on the programme.

You've lost a hell of a lot, and it's probably good to regroup now rather than deviate. Then as you said - either buy a new programme to take you down further if that's what you want to do.

Sensible choice.

And I'm glad I have a refeed buddy to go through it with!

Shanara · #**715** 03-06-2009, 22:42

Well my refeed diary still hasn't come - apparently a communication glitch in the sending out. Should come tomorrow or Friday at latest.

So far the extra food is working for me although scales are not realy moving after the last big drop. Boy, my mind can have a party around what is happening however have decided that I am still OK with my decision and if it proves not to be a good one - at least I will learn more about my body from the journey.

Have a funny thing happened. I bought a pair of size 12 jeans which fitted me perfectly yet as I am wearing them I keep having to pull them up at the back. Was wondering what was going on and then I looked in the mirror - i have lost my bum!!! I mean - it's gone - no bum. Flat! I still have a stomach sticking out but no bum. Have tried poking my stomach through to my bum but it doesn't work. Can't ever remember having no bum before. OMG - maybe i will need bum implants so I have buns!

Apparently my refeed is 18 days - Marc, you may be finished before I get
there. You are going very well - great work.

Made mango cheesecake for dinner tonight - so yum! Vege soup with mango cheesecake. So glad I froze all those bags of mangoes. They enliven my winter.

Blessings
Shanara

Mette · #**716** 04-06-2009, 01:39

Lol, I know that feeling! I lost my bum too! I wish my stick-out tummy would go away. Maybe we can use the tummy for bum implants! There you go, don't say I never have good ideas

I miss Australian mangoes... I'm so jealous! The ones we get here have NO taste!
Hope you get your refeed soon, pretty lady!

carrieanne_c · #**717** 04-06-2009, 01:57

wish some one would kidnap my ass and my jiggly gut. I knew I should have quit drinking beer 20 years ago. I hope you get your refeed soon. You sound alot happier anyhoo.

missparker · #**718** 04-06-2009, 09:42

I love reading your diary Shanara! I completely understand where your coming from on the refeed thing... I haven't got to that point yet but even when we met you seemed quite happy with the new you - I'm so pleased for you!

I also can relate to the comparison topic. I do look at other people's progres.... often.... and think I have never lost that much in a week or whatever it may be but have come to realise that we are all different and our bodies react differently. I kept reminding myself that it's not a race and that gives me some level of comfort!

I did always think that we would be doing our refeed around the same time... but such is life!

I'm pleased that you are feeling better about everything. You have an amazing outlook!

Take care
Rechelle

louise41 · #**719** 05-06-2009, 08:31

55kgs in 7 months and now a size 10 - 14. Isnt it just amazing to stand back and realise how far you have come. Your slowing in weight loss followed by a loss when you increased the quantites seems like a pretty typical story at this stage of the journey. I hope your refeed comes really soon! You have done a marvellous job and that is great that you will be on maintenance for your trip to america.

FlaMie · #**720** 05-06-2009, 22:09

Hi Shanara,

So happy for you that your refeed is on the way. I think you should know best if this weight suits you.

I've also lost my bum! Yikes...it kinda stays flat but well, can't really complain cos it looks good with the new mini skirt from Billabong which I just bought today! I feel so young today!

I'm experiencing a DEAD lock of no weight loss and it is coming to 2 weeks...gosh, I feel that I've lost good time of 2 weeks...what am I going to do?

In any case, I am very happy for you