Katrin's REFEED diary

[kagiesen]

Hi Pandora, and the other: elegant, tall and slim was never what I thought I'd be. I sent that pic to my mum (who sort of knows I'm eating differently, but didn't know what I was doing, as she's a doctor and a generation where the absence of milk and carbs is scary and I didn't want her sermon) and all she commented on was the shoes (never wore high shoes before). Maybe she's blind, shes' been bugging me with my weight nearly all my life and then I'm slim and she doesn't notice or thinks it's the suit that makes me look elegant....Mothers!

Still 59.1 this morning, and truly didn't expect that as I deviated big time yesterday with bot chocolate and carbs (self-baked muffins, maybe I'm like my consultant who tolerates self-made ones, but puts on weight on the purchased ones, maybe the preservatives?)

I felt bad after that day of eating and was even thinking of skipping the weigh-in for the FIRST time, but then I thought, no, I wanna know exactly how my body reacts to what. Mind you, after the chocolate I felt horrible, short sugar pike, then hypoglycemic, shaky, weak. Had a chromium and about 2 liters of water within 10 mins, that made it better.

Today and the weekend is no functions, so it will be Cohens to the letter!

Katrin

[kagiesen]

59.0, still dropping. I really think having gone on to re-feed at my lower target weight would not have been a good idea. That was 62. I was looking ok then, but now I am beginning to really like what I see. There is still some lose skin, and I hope the HGH will take care of that, and than the fat on the belly has reduced to two lumps. I don't know if they look real different, ut the fat calipers tell me they are decreasing. So I'm happy!

Those of you who looked at the photo Debs put up of the Perth crew, you will have noticed she said we discussed my controversial ideas . would that be that I deviate both in food and also in exercise? I swear, if that at some stage means I will stop losing weight, then I'll be 100%. However, interval training stimulates the HGH, so I do that, a bit of abs training for when the abs is not longer under cover.

I reckon that maybe I'm doing a little re-feed of my own, so far I've introduced my body to tiny bits of chocolate (max 10 gr) and also to some self-made muffins and that has been over the last 2 weeks, and the first week I was loosing slowly, then came to big drop to under 60, and now I'm awaiting the next 'milestone' of under 58. Once thing is for sure. At 55 I will stop EVEN if I am still not happy. I promised that to myself. BMI now 20.0, then it would be BMI 19, and that's what I'd like. In terms of fat percentage, at the moment if I measure thighs, calves, wrist and hips (+small frame) it's 19% (that means: 11.2 kilos of fat, 47.7 lean body mass, ie muscles, bones, body water; 22% is healthy in a Caucasian woman, but anything between 10 to 19 % is healthy in a Caucasian woman who's exercising (well, the 10% is top athlete which is not what I'm aiming at).

So at 55 I would still be in healthy, albeit lowest range of BMI and a good body composition.

Why am I writing all this? To convince myself that I'm on the right track, to double check that I am not becoming obsessed, that I'm not aiming at being underweight or too skinny. I want to be healthy. So all I've planned is within healthy range for a woman my age, race and athlethicity, so all's good.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, it's gorgeous weather again in Perth.!

Katrin

[Pudge]

You girls look great in that photo and very happy. Sometimes I wonder about mothers. Mine has said a few things to me that I am just amazed came out of her mouth. But we love them anyway.

I think you are on the right track and sound like your doing what I plan to when i reach the end of this 1st part of the program.
notsopudgy

[kagiesen]

Originally Posted by Pudge

You girls look great in that photo and very happy. Sometimes I wonder about mothers. Mine has said a few things to me that I am just amazed came out of her mouth. But we love them anyway.

I think you are on the right track and sound like your doing what I plan to when i reach the end of this 1st part of the program.
notsopudgy

Yeah, not Pudge at all, mothers are weird things. And I do love her, and I know she means well, and she'll be absolutely thrilled (i hope...) when I step off the plane in June when I go for a holiday to Berlin. Maybe she won't recognize me?

Katrin

[pandora]

Hi Katrin

Wow, you do look very athletic in the pid eith Debs, Elle and Cass! I dont think you are overdoing it aiming for 55kg. Only you can see what yr body fat looks like and you are making a choice of whether to settle for pretty average and a lot better than before OR, being a bit more extreme, like me, go for gold, dont accept silver. Can you imagine being a celebrity and being asked to do a movie role with a bikini on for all the world to see. Would you settle for ALMOST there or would you go the distance of having a world class champion body, but in yr case, no special chef to cook for you and no personal trainer 24/7. You have done and are doing this all by yr rules (and most of doc cohens) and this is such a powerful statment for yr future. I agree, get to 58, then 57, check if that far enough, then 56 check again. I know I AM JUST NOT DONE YET, and sounds like neither are you. Have a great Sat, Pandora

[kagiesen]

59.0 after one glass of water (forgot to weigh myself first thing). Then, just for the fun of it, had another glass (they are 250 ml) and was 59.7, then had another one, and still 59.7, quite weird, one would think that the scales show the diff more precisely. We're having poached eggs and spinach, tomato (and grilled prosciutto for the men, better than bacon) for breakfast, just waiting for the dough for baguette (for them) to rise, which it is not doing at them moment, so maybe we won't have baguette after all.

Then off for a leisurely exercise (and that's for the fun of it, not to lose weight ). Weather not its usual warm sunny self, max 22 degrees, that's nearly chilly compared to the mid thirties we've been having over the last week.

Today I'll be all Cohens, (unless I can't resist the baguette, if it ever rises ).

Made Wendy9's mango prawn stir fry for dinner last night, that was very yummy! Will have to go to the markets to get new fruit, veg, and flowers to decorate my house. Just love that! The smells! Some fresh basil standing around, the mangoes, thyme, the flowers, and the whole house smells gorgeous without me eating something I feel very satisfied. It's good to address other senses as well!

Question: How do you tell someone who really needs to lose weight about Cohens without being pushy? Our neighbour is really heavily over weight and she had started with a Personal Trainer 3 times a week so I know she wants to lose weight, however, I don't know if that's still happening, and I'd love to tell her about Cohens, and had hoped she'd notice my weight loss, but she hasn't, so do I just give her the brochure? Any thoughts?

Cheers

Katrin

[kagiesen]

Very hungry today, on the verge of grazing, but holding myself back so far.

Can't have dinner til 830, as very late lunch and breakie.

Katrin

[kagiesen]

Boohoo.

First weigh in this morning was 59.7. Hmm. After a coffee and a toilet run, 59.3, thank God. Sounds better, still not happy, but that's the danger of daily weighing, I know.

But it's a good wake up call for having let myself slip into an "I'm invincible with my deviations' mode. I AM NOT INVINCIBLE, and I must stick more closely to the program. Mind you, I'm nearly 3 kilos below bottom target, but I want to lose more and hence must get my s**t together unless I want to be hovering around 59 at Xmas still!

I was home too much as well, the arvos and evenings are the worst, and I have asked my husband to 'take more care' of me, ie drag me out of hte house when I start getting peckerish, go for a walk, a drink, distract me til the urge is over.

I am disappointed, though, but I'm seeing Debs this morning and I'm sure she'll build me up again with her enthusiasm.

Katrin

[pandora]

Hey there skinny girl ..... dont fret too much cos you are already an amazing legend on this forum, more or less 3kg UNDER the low end of the range, here i am not yet AT my goal, still hovering around the 53kg, so 1kg to go and then 3kg under wld make me 49kg so if i were you, i would think i was a goddess, and might be tempted to try walking on water!!!

And yes, you are right, we MUST not get complacent this close to the silly santa season of eat, drink and be merry, yo ho ho! I didnt actually weigh today as i was at a great fun, girlie party with the best women yesterday pm, they were all into the strawberry champagne as hubby's picking them up, i was driving so easy to say no but i did nibble a few raw veggies dipped in a dip, tried a white choc bullet (never seen them before) had a tiny sliver of cake, so ignored the scales today just "presume" no loss! So yr right, we CANT feel invincible re deviations at this crucial stage of the journey.

Trust you had a fab time with the mega motivator Deb and i see you included a word in yr diary "peckerish" is that a german version of "peckish?"" Ha ha couldnt resist ! Pandora

[kagiesen]

Thanks for your nice words. I so wanted to ignore the scales this morning, but thought, hell, even if they are up, they'll go down after a day of strict Cohens. So tomorrow's just another day.

I hooked Debs on Pellegrino today when I was at her place. Boy, did we chat, only sweetly interrupted by her cute kids. We had a lovely Cohens lunch, although I did finish her son's left over haloumi cheese. His fault for leaving it there so nice and savory and so not on the Cohens approved food list. So there I go, queen of deviation, even after such a sobering weight in as this morning I can't keep my fingers off the forbidden food. Going well on the carb front so far, though, and no fruit either. Cos I was so busy all day incl just coming back form Pilates, I haven't had time to get 'hungry', which says it all, ie that I'm not really hungry, cos if you're really hungry, I don't think it would go un-noticed even when you're busy. So as I thought, spending time with Debs lifted my mood considerably.

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Katrin

[kagiesen]

Tomorrow brings ..... 58.7. Maybe I should stop weighing every day... On the other hand, it did force me to watch what I was eating yesterday much more, so whilst it does make me grumpy if I put on weight, it helps keep me focussed.

I am going to experiment today with changing the meals around completely, I recall someone talking about the rule of big breakfast, smaller lunch, tiny dinner, so I'll try the yogurt out tonight. The reason is that I really get all my hunger/cravings from about 5 onwards, so maybe if I eat more during the day, and less at night, that might change. I'll give it a few days and let you know how/if it works!

Got a hectic day of running around today, but tomorrow is cruisy again, and then from Friday onwards, I have 300 law exams to mark, all in hand writing, and I'll be at home all day, man that will be a challenge. Although, I guess I could go to Uni, where there is no pantry/fridge etc.

Cheers

Katrin



Katrin

[pandora]

Hi Katrin
58.7kg, wow, at least yr weight is still going down, mine has stuck for 2 wks and i am changing my approach, all in my dairy! You are having a different experience from me as you are already almost 3kg UNDER the low end so what you are doing is working. Do you think its cos you do exercise every day and i am on the "couch potato" exercise program?

Let us know how you go with changing yr meals around, dont think it would work for me but i am not a yogurt a day person - i am one of those egg & veg types. Since i am into garlic, chilli prawns at night, dont fancy swapping them for a.m.!

I cant even conceive of what marking 300 law exams is like, all in handwriting and at home all day! Maybe you should do it at Uni, either way, frequent visits on here will help as "comic relief"! Glad you had such a great time with Debs, which i cld have joined you. Pandora

[kagiesen]

58.4 this morning, I must be in a good phase, and I am thankful for that further loss. I am getting a bit sick of things like my lack of real 100% commitment, and hence I want to reach the weight I am happy with, and then do 1 week 100%, and then do re-feed. Maybe I will be done before Xmas, re-feed is 17 is I don't put on weight.

I will put on my bikini today and reconsider if I think I look the way I want to look now. However, there is still some tummy fat, or is it skin? Whatever it is, it needs to go. If it's skin, maybe some 100% days would do me good as that has an impact on the HGH. I don't know why I can't stick to it 100%. Well off course, I CAN, but I find it too hard. Changing the meals around was ok yesterday, yogurt seemed enough and I was not hungry, but still went for some chocolate and extra crackers, all the crap I don't want. Took my chromium, drank loads of water etc, nothing helped.

Any ideas? Probably the deviations triggering more deviations triggering more deviations. If I could only have one full deviation free day.... I know there is no try, just a do, but I can't get myself to write: I WILL NOT DEVIATE TODAY. I can only write I will try not to deviate today, and that's really not worth writing at all.

OK: I WILL NOT DEVIATE TODAY, I will spread my allowance over the day nicely with all the required breaks in between, I will go back to my stewed apple for the sweet hit. Done. And still I think .... maybe.... or maybe not. I will try. I am actually nearly will-less at night. It starts at about 4, but then I can still control it. By the time it's 8, I am on automated pilot. I hate it.

I'll try....

Katrin

[pandora]

Hi Katrin
Here i am with MY ideas for you darling!

1. Re yr deviations, i reckon it is solely due to yr being nearly 4kg UNDER low end of goal, and since it is obviously working for you to deviate slightly, go for it, why bother going back to the 100% now and as you say its only the odd pce of choc and the odd cracker, at least yr not drinking wine like i was!

2. Re yr wee tiny bit of belly - did you show Deb and if yes what does she think? If you didnt, then show her next Tues. Go on, be BOLD, tell us ALL the truth about that so called belly fat, get it out of yr head onto yr diary and then it will disappear if it exists that is. And if it is REAL, it will re-absorb gradually. You know this stuff, we drop the grams/kg but it takes longer for the body to re-absorb the actual fat, like magic, so it may be up to 3 months before we really see how we are going to look in that bikini! Trust the process, join me on re-feed early Dec and yr precious body will take care of the extra skin! Pandora

[kagiesen]

Thanks, Pandora

yeah, I did show Debs, and I guess whilst she thinks it's not that much, she did appreciate that it was still a fat fold, not a skin fold, as did my counselor today whom I showed it was well. So she's also keeping an eye on me, but so far reckons I just look very healthy and fit and isn't worried I am drifting into an eating disorder. My husband said I was at the lower side of 'normal' or average, so he doesn't think I am skinny or too skinny but thinks that in about 2 kilos I probably will be fine and the little fat role gone.

Today I was very good until dinner just then, and then I had a grilled chicken with salad and half the bun burger which would have roughly been my allowances counting the half bun as two crackers. I am actually a bit hungry now, so will slowly drink my half liter of Pellegrino and then should be fine.

Also did some good running (in the heat of the day, stupid...) today and felt good after that.

All the best

Katrin

[pandora]

Yes Katrin it does sound like those last 2kg for you are sitting on that belly! You know i am the exact same! My 11yr old ultra slim daughter needed a new netball skirt and asked me to stretch it for her. I thought i will move the button, asked her to put it on so i cld see it was worth the effort and found it wasnt just the button but also the zip wouldnt go all the way up! I got her a new skirt but the fact is that size 10 childs skirt fits me! She is the same height as me, no fat, on the scales she is 16% fat and for a 12 yr old that is considered underfat so its bone structure that makes the diff and she will be tall like you (and her dad!). No one wld expect that skirt to fit me cos i have about 2kg of flab on my belly still so i "look" fatter than her, it is all relevent.

You will KNOW when it is gone and i am with you it is worth it to be a bit extreme as there is a difference between just extra fat and being underweight. And as for the women i know from my gym days who have had

tummy tuck
apronectomy
liposucton

it cost a lot of money, never comes back in the same place, so if they dont modify eating behaviours it comes back on side of hips or worse still around shoulders area and makes them look manly with bulky shoulders but a washboard tummy. MOral of this story for me is sculpt off that last 2kg with this diet and save the money etc as the surgery never tackles the real problem in the mind!
Pandora
p.s. disclaimer for anyone out there who needs surgery after this program to remove excess skin, that is a different matter!
pps and i know Katrin you have NEVER mentioned surgery but i thought it is a good case in point!

[anniem]

Hi there

I guess every one has a different trouble spot for me my tummy and waist are little and have never been big all my weight goes on my bum and legs so that is where my extra weight still is but it is looking a little better now thta is why i think that this 54kg area is where i want to stay.

We will all get there every single one of us and god we will all deserve it. And we will all deserve the happiness and confidence that comes with it.

Annie

[kagiesen]

Yeah, Pandora and Annie, we DO deserve it, cos like everyone on the forum (and on Cohens) is putting in so much work and discipline.

funny, weight up to 59 today and that after yesterday where I thought I was really good yesterday (apart from the running and just guesstimating my dinner size). Maybe glycogen in muscles from running, cos as opposed to the other times I did overdo it yesterday with a 10 k run in the middle of the day. SOOO, I am not depressed today, just astonished, and should be down again tomorrow.

My students have their exam today, and whilst my step son, who's in my class, can't wait for it to be 410 pm and OVER, I am dreading that time cos that's when my marking starts. And the weather forecast is beautifully warm for the next 5 days at least, real beach weather. Sob. I'll try to do the marking in chunks of 10. So get up early, mark 10 before breakfast, have breakfast and maybe some exercise, mark another 10, have lunch, mark another ten, that's my aim per day, 30, and needs to be my average, too.

Stewing my apple right now cos will have another day to the clock. Just had yogurt, will have the crackers and fruit in between etc.

Have a lovely day

Katrin

[pandora]

Yes Katrin

Just ignore that 59! It will drop again tomorrow. My scales were 200grams up today doesnt matter just a normal part of life! Dont envy you having all that marking to do and the chunks of 10 sound like a great idea. If you get the munchies, clean your teeth or something to put you off food! Pandora

[kagiesen]

59.2, something's wrong. Back on track today with no deviation intended, not even a small one, as I just read a post from Andy to Pandora saying he's got no probs with deviations as body used to it and not craving it anymore. Still, I'm not as determined somehow, but will at least give it my best shot today.

K