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Old 01-02-2019, 09:53
blondetastic Female blondetastic is offline
On my way - To a new me.
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 227
Default Re: Blondetastics Diary

Read some literally life changing things the last few days. Will try to be brief lol

The wrong people in our life will see us make progress and try to pull us down. The right people will see us slip down and pull us up. We allow ourselves so often to be pulled down by the wrong people because it's comfortable. If they are happy, we feel validated, okay with ourselves because hey we made a choice that made THEM happy. But what about us? I'm not talking sacrificing watching your fave movie to watch theirs with them. I'm talking about the stuff that makes us go against what makes us truly happy deep down. We may avoid guilt that others would like us to feel to get what THEY want, but deep inside we have postponed yet again our purpose, what sparks our joy and gives our life real meaning to feel validated by people who are often more concerned with their gains and happiness than ours.

It's taken me a long time to realize life patterns which have held me back from being and doing so much more with my life because I am too worried about making others happy. If they perceive me to be rude, selfish, don't like me because they refuse to see that doing what I want and need to do because it will make me happy isn't to slight them, it's not up to me to explain it continually. Eventually if they don't like the fact that I was not put on this earth to give them everything they need and bow to their every wish and command they will either get used to it or leave me alone.

I think I'm finally beginning to understand what it means to love yourself and how to do it. We blame ourselves so much for when we fail at things. But mostly it's because we are buying into other peoples opinions that we are selfish, rude, messed up in the head, whatever label they want to use to make us worry about what THEY think of us so we alter their behaviour for their acceptance and deep down we know we sell ourselves out every time we do this. It affects every single area of our lives. We can't change other people, we are not responsible for them getting their needs met any more than they are responsible for us. We can only control ourselves. Who really cares what these people think if they can judge us so harshly because we are making choices that help us to live our life fully? We don't need people like that in our life. It's not supportive, they don't help us to become the best versions of ourselves. They constantly demand reasons justification for our choices. We owe them nothing. NO is a sentence. If they truly care about us they will respect our choices and recognize it's not to inconvenience or disrespect them. If they don't care about us they will try to make us feel guilt, or like we owe them an explanation which they will dismiss and try and wear us down anyway. I'm only just starting to see how much other people influence me in every thing - at work, what I eat, how I spend my money, what I say, where I go. So many things. Legitimate things that I forgo my preference on for people who tend to manipulate so they can feel good, so their life can be a bit easier. It's not rude, insensitive or selfish to happy with the choices we are making for ourselves.

Realizing this has given me a whole new perspective on life and how I have spent most of it looking for other peoples approval and validation when I already approve of and validate myself.

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Old 01-02-2019, 14:43
Kohinoor's Avatar
Kohinoor Male Kohinoor is offline
Been here forever!!! - Ask me Anything !!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Work: Sydney, Home: Brisbane
Posts: 12,064
My NYF Diary
Default Re: Blondetastics Diary

Hi BT,
Wow, you said a mouthful there, girl !!! I would be really interested to know the source (if this is a book or a self-help course you have accessed). Or, maybe this is the result of reading several different books, thus no ONE book is providing all the answers. Then again, upon reading a few words, you might have done some soul-searching and arrived at your own conclusions (so the post becomes fully "your own work").....

Whichever, I love it. I also know that we can know this, and yet still allow ourselves to be pushed down by others (depending on the significance of "the other" ).

To help you along on this journey (which I perceive to be one that we all need to travel), here's a favourite quote that might appeal - it seems relevant:-
"Is this something you want, or something someone else wants you to want?"

And then (in case you haven't yet tripped over it on here) check out my "Be selfish" topic - it might hold some more gems for you:-

Happy reading in return (reading your post made ME very happy !! )

Hugs, and keep on exploring "being selfish",
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny bloke (BMI ~23) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!

Last edited by Kohinoor; 01-02-2019 at 15:06.
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Old 01-02-2019, 17:58
findingme Female findingme is offline
On my way - To a new me.
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 153
Default Re: Blondetastics Diary

Well done!
One thing I like about being on the EP is I'm much more organised about my meals than when I am off, it's too easy to just eat whatever then, 😂 Usually regret it too!

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Old 04-02-2019, 15:00
blondetastic Female blondetastic is offline
On my way - To a new me.
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 227
Default Re: Blondetastics Diary

Koh it was some random links I found online and a couple of videos by a guy with a Facebook page, mainly directed at business Kerwin Rae. Love that quote:Is it something you want, or something someone else wants you to want"
Thanks for that link am going to head over and take a look in a minute.

Finding Me: I know right, don't have to think too hard about it, and yes eating off plan is just too spasmodic, wastes a lot of money and I feel like I have no direction, meals are probably the only thing thats stable in my life. What I eat more than when. And I always regret eating off plan lol

So I pretty much have yoghurt for breakfast, mince and veggies with curry powder and sweetener for lunch, fish, prawns or chicken and veggies with some chilli powder and sweetener for dinner and main fruit of choice is granny smith apples. Trying to do at least 2-3 liters of water a day. Most days only have 2 black coffees, and maybe some pepsi max at night. Not getting anywhere near enough sleep the last few nights. This has to change.

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Old 04-02-2019, 15:21
Tuti Female Tuti is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 537
Default Re: Blondetastics Diary

Love that post Blondetastic. I think I need to read it regularly

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