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  #21  
Old 20-06-2008, 13:21
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amen.
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  #22  
Old 20-06-2008, 13:23
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Connie, fantastic letter, very insightful.
Just wondering how you must have been feeling after you wrote it! Good on you for having the courage to write it!

Louise
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  #23  
Old 20-06-2008, 14:50
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thank you so much for sharing your letters, it is brave and you deserve the very best life can offer, i wish you all the very best for your life journey from now on.
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  #24  
Old 20-06-2008, 20:25
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Hey Connie.. WOW.. what a powerful letter.. kisses & hugs to you.. you have an INCREDIBLE inner strength..

More power to you beautiful.. for being the wonderful person you are & for sharing such deep & personal moments & thoughts with all of us.
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  #25  
Old 21-06-2008, 08:34
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Hey Connie

What a fantastic letter and thank you so much for sharing it.

I've only know one Connie and she is beautiful inside and out and I feel privileged to have her in my life.

Just goes to show you how many different layers we have in our life and as we shed them - not only our weight, the real us emerges (yes, with scars) and we take back control of our lives to become the "real" us for everyone to see. Not everyone is comfortable with this new person but hopefully they will see the beautiful person we always were.

Biggest hugs and kisses hon and thanks again for sharing, caring and being here for you and me!!

Cheers
Irene
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  #26  
Old 22-06-2008, 15:34
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Thanks so much for your comments guys.

I do feel better for having written it, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my mind, not just my body. I think the blood letting experience is a necessary evil on this journey

Anyway I do feel like I am more mentally ready to be me ... whoever that is.

Connie
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  #27  
Old 22-06-2008, 19:50
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Connie, I had tears and goosebumps while reading your letter.
Second best, that rung a bell with me.
X
Ez
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  #28  
Old 22-06-2008, 21:24
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Very moving Connie! What great courage you have!

Vee
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  #29  
Old 22-06-2008, 23:37
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Hi Connie

Thank you so much for your honesty and bravery. You write beautifully of the pain I know many of us have felt.

x

loulou
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  #30  
Old 23-06-2008, 14:05
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wow...

you are so brave miss connie, no wonder you are a survivor....

what a privelege to read such a letter....and to know such a person...your amazing.

pen
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  #31  
Old 09-07-2008, 15:44
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A size 8 Karrina - OMG it doesn't get better than that!! Congratulations on getting to your goal and for shedding what pulled you down. I identify with so much that you're saying it may as well be my letter too (except I'm not an 8 yet - ha!). I can only imagine how good you must feel about yourself and how proud of yourself you must be. Well done Karrina - I can't wait till I can write my own letter.

To Connie - what a powerful and poignant letter. I feel so sad for the old Connie and yet I know that the new Connie will never know such pain again.

Your pain did not only come from being overweight, but feeling good about yourself, feeling vibrant, alive, worthy and confident sure makes it easier to deal with the other issues in life that we can't control.

I wish you a life of happiness and confidence with the new you and I'm so glad I've got to meet you on these forums - what an amazing woman you are! Butterfly = Connie
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  #32  
Old 18-07-2008, 14:33
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Default Goodbye to the old Faithy

Lets see if I can get through this from start to finish..

I know it is now time to say goodbye to you. I have been putting this off for such a long time, & while I know there are still parts of the old you that are going to creep back from time to time, I don't have to hold on to those things or take them on as my own. YOU are now an old person, someone who is dead to me. You gave me life for so long, you gave me breath for so long, but with each breath, the next one became that much harder to take in.
You sufforcate me, with you around I can't breathe, I can't be free.

For far too long you allowed other people to dictate to you who you would be, how you were to react, how you'd dress, how you'd speak. The only time you were you, the right you, was when someone or some thing threatened your children.. it was only then that you came through with incredible strength. But like the fat, you hid behind your children far too much & now they too have issues here & there because of you.

I've become to understand over time why you have become the person you became. You felt you HAD to hide because so much was revealed to the whole world that should have been private. A privacy & a secrecy that no other person should know but yourself had been shared with far too many to number. It scared you & it scarred you.

Your personal, private most intimate self had been violated. Trusts had been broken & your own self worth over years & years had been undermined.

Your uniqueness has been laughed upon & mocked to the point that you no longer felt - on the outside anyway. On the inside you were slowly dying, bursting to let your inner most self free.

I now know that with you in my life I will continue to be afraid. With you in my life I will continue to feel naked & feel like everyone can see me. With you in my life I can't be that person I so desperately wish to be.

I need to remove you from my life completely. I need to say goodbye once & for all. You did once make me feel good, but only briefly. Far too often you made me feel sad & alone & abused.

You feed me to the point of overflowing on things AND foods that weren't good for me. You tried to hide me & my feelings in food & fat. But you didn't realise that while doing this you also started destroying my very essence. I now have to find her & slowly she is gaining courage to emerge, but without you around she will emerge so much faster & so much stronger.

I don't need to have you to protect me any more. I don't need you to stand guard at the door. I CAN stand up for myself now, I CAN be that strong woman I so desperatly wish to be and I am no longer afraid to face full on what has happened to you to cause you so much pain.

I do love you & I know from time to time I will miss you. You were so sensitive & naive & precious in so many ways, I hope that those positive qualities in you I manage to keep with me.

I have to say goodbye now. It's not a see you soon. This has to be forever.

Goodbye!!!!
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  #33  
Old 18-07-2008, 17:39
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.....

Well done Faithy,
Did that make you feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders?


Come out of that suffocating cocoon that was the "old" Faithy & spread your beautiful butterfly wings and fly free without guilt or regret.

You should be so proud of yourself.
Shell
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  #34  
Old 18-07-2008, 17:57
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Thanks Shell

It's kind of weird LOL.. but it does feel good.. I'm surprised I wasn't more emotional when I wrote it.. I think I have really begun to accept that THIS is who I am now, not that other person & that realisation feels fantastic.
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  #35  
Old 19-07-2008, 01:14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithy
I think I have really begun to accept that THIS is who I am now, not that other person & that realisation feels fantastic.
"Yay !!!!!!"

Go you good thing !!!

Welcome to the brand new YOU, darl !!! Look after her, and love her - she's SO worth it



Koh
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  #36  
Old 19-07-2008, 13:56
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The butterfly has finally emerged from the chrysalis and is stretching and flexing her wings. The beauty within has finally broken her shackles and escaped and is making her real debut!

Good on ya......
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My Original Weight-Loss Chart. . . . Personal Target: 69kg; End of refeed: 68.2kg; 1 year later: 69.5kg; 2 years later: 71.5kg; 3 years later: 65.5kg; 6 years later: 68.5kg
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  #37  
Old 19-07-2008, 20:10
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Beautifully said Faithy!

I hope it brings you healing
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2008 Cohen's Graduate (lost 37.9kg) finished @ 57.5kg
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Mind~body~spirit approach is my winning formula

Goal 1: Under 80kg (done 4.5.13) Goal 2 - 75kg, Goal 3 Under 70kg, Goal 4 - normal BMI 65.8kg!! Goal 4 - final goal 65 - 62kg and start refeed


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  #38  
Old 19-07-2008, 22:12
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hey Faithy,

I found mine very cathartic, and I hope yours helps you as much!

You are such a beautiful soul Faithy and I hope now you can see that too!

Connie
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  #39  
Old 20-12-2008, 19:27
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I can't stop crying.
I wish I found this thread earlier.
Thanks Shell for reminding about it.
And mostly...thank You Karrina, Connie and Fatihy...
I can't stop crying.
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  #40  
Old 21-12-2008, 10:41
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Hi Faithy, your just amazing. You will be more and everthing now than you could imagine.

I really think that is why I didnt keep the weight off so many times in the past has I wasnt really living as the new person I become.

Thanks for sharing and inspiring all of us.
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