Dear Food Letters

[hexi2]

Hi All

Me again....I thought I would share my 'dear food' letter...gee looking back I have learnt so much about myself and food in the last 3 months since finishing refeed. I really thought once I got to goal I would just slip into my new life - god who was I kidding!

Anyway...I feel invigorated with all that I have learnt about myself and my relationship with food and hope this helps someone to 'accept' the new way of looking at foods....

Dear Food,

I love you and hate you…you have been an addiction to me for many years. For too long I have been a prisoner to over eating, seeing you and giving in has been a normal part of my life. For the most parts I ate whenever I saw you…grazing and ultimately overeating. It didn’t matter that I ate what I wanted when I wanted as I was obese so there was nothing holding me back. Things have changed for six months I was able to successfully deal with my addiction to you, I was controlled and ate out of hunger in most cases…life became smooth and calm. I no longer felt out of control or that it didn’t matter what I ate. I felt great, you gave me life and health…and as the weight came off from many years of overeating and abuse I regained my confidence and happiness in myself that I was winning this battle against you.

I never thought I was an emotional eater other than eating out of habit and boredom but one of the things I have learnt is that my relationship with you needs to change. If I adopt my old eating habits once again you will win and I will be out of control. You are my addiction and I will not allow that to happen. I worked too hard to get my weight and you under control. I accept that my relationship with you will never be the same again and I didn’t realise how many self sabotaging thoughts I would have about you. I just expected that I would move into maintenance without any issues – who was I fooling?. No longer am I a prisoner to you, you are not my reward – only a punishment when I spin out of control…rewards come from elsewhere. I eat to live only, I eat when I am hungry, I plan what and when I am going to eat…I am learning to get in touch with my body and eat when I need to rather than when I want to…undoing many years of bad habits that were adopted since childhood.

Hunger isn’t an emergency…I can deal with it – food is always there when I need it and if not a couple of hours won’t kill me. I will no longer obsess about you…there is more to life than an addiction to food. I also understand the ‘just a little’ doesn’t work for me…I have learnt the hard way…

I now understand that there is hunger, desire and cravings and the last 2 come only from my mind…I have new techniques to deal with you and my thoughts and am well on my way to living as a thin person and thinking like a thin person….It is not about ‘being good or eating good’ that language perpetuates the belief that I am being deprived…I am not being ‘good’ I just accept that this is the way I live…like driving the kids to school – it’s something that has to be done I don’t fuss about it, I don’t battle with it or think about it I just do it and that’s how my life is with you now…I just do it.

So here’s to our new relationship…cheers!

[kagiesen]

Dear Hexi

what an awesome and honest post. It really touched me. It is very true, and shows how far you have come. We should eat to fuel our bodies (and if it tastes nice, even better), which means only eat when we are hungry and as long as we are hungry. Your insights are very helpful, and you will conquer your behaviour!

Good luck

Katrin

[shell]

Great post Hexi.
You are describing a lot of my issues as well.
Shell

[sundaymorningstaple]

Excellent post Hexi, but remember, be careful when you refuel!

If you remember, my problem was never a eating disorder per se, but when I refueled (late at night the when fuel tank finally ran dry!). I've always eaten to live rather than the other way around but unfortunately, it also can backfire.

You do seem to have a good handle on it though and you have come a long way since finishing refeed. I'm very happy for you. Looks like you are another that is successfully turning it around by doing whatever it is that has to be done, be it external help or whatever. Congratulations on a major breakthrough. The letter was awesome.

SMS

[Annabelle Joy]

Great post, hexi. The early part of it expresses exactly my former attitude to food. I'm still to get to the latter part of your post, hope I can handle it as well are you now seem to be doing.

AJ

[hexi2]

Just to set matters straight (after a raving angry PM from the famous Goldie) the food letter I wrote was suggested by a Clinical Pyschologist...so no I don't USUALLY TALK TO FOOD....

[Faithy]

I talk to food all the time.. actually I've decided to abuse IT instead of it abusing me..

How weird that she PMed you over that.. don't let her get to you Hexi.. it actually says a lot about her character.. well to me it does..

Usually people get all negative & defensive over things that have hit a nerve.. she quite possibly has serious problems herself in this area.. I actually feel quite sad for those types of people.. taking it out on people who are actually gaining control is very sad... what does she hope to achieve..

Anyway.. don't worry about it Hexi.. I really got a lot out of you posting that & I'm sure a lot of other people have too.

[Annabelle Joy]

We all understood what your post was about, hexi, at least I did and I'm sure the others did also.

I don't think there's any doubt whatsoever that Goldie has a serious problem of some sort, Faithy. Yes, it is sad that someone has that sort of anger and confusion. She needs some professional help.

AJ

[KyMMy]

Hi Hexi,

thank you so much for sharing your dear food letter.

I'm in my 1st week of "freedom" and I'm struggling big time. I decided that although i never had a diary in the 1st place (I only found this place at almost finish my program time), I'd start a maintenance one.

Your letter struck a cord with me and I think it was really good you've posted it - it's really helped me, so thank you.

[Kohinoor]

This has to be worth a "bump" ......

[mcpsych]

Yeh
why wouldn't we
we talk to plants animals and even people,why not food
"oh baby you look sooo sweet and choclatty- I can see you melting as I lick you"
well that's what I sayto my mudcake

[Never Give Up]

is mud cake in refeed...?

[findingme]

Bump