For those who have read Beck Diet Solution, please help...

[ciaranfurness]

I am currently waiting for my book to arrive...

I have about 6kgs to go until I can order refeed, but this weekend I have gone completely stupid after having an awesome deviation free week.

I have come to the conclusion that I am self sabotaging!!! Can someone tell me what the book says about this, and how to stop doing it?? I am so close to getting to my goal and I am stupidly stuffing it up for some dumb reason!

[RevampedTramp]

Okay lovely - just grabbed my book - probably need to tell me a few things first, so I can see what is relevant...
She says that sabotaging thoughts arise when you are confronted by a trigger -so either smelling ,sight of food, or biological triggers such as hunger thirst or cravings
Mental - thinking about food, memory of enjoyable food
emotional - usually unpleasant feelings - like angry, sad, frustration, boredom
Social - people uring you to eat, or situations in which you want to be like everybody else

Firstly you need to tell me which of the above is your trigger, then I can give you some further details!!

[ciaranfurness]

I think its just because i want to be like everyone else who are eating nice things and i think im scared of reaching my goal. I have a history of nor completing things usually giving up just before the end

[RevampedTramp]

Okay - just give me a few moments as I read things relevant and then relay them to you, Keren

[ciaranfurness]

Thank you so much xo

[RevampedTramp]

Do you focus on issues of unfairness - how come others can eat that etc
Can you differentiate between hunger desire and cravings
can you practice hunger tolerance - or do you just cave at first sign

Main things that are relevant from what I am reading is realising that:

understanding that it is a fallacy that others can eat what they want - most people who maintain a slim physique are picking and choosing to maintain that body - you just might not see it at the time..for example thin people may eat out at lunch and have that cheesecake, however they will just eat an egg for dinner (whereas fat people will have another full meal) slim people save up for an occasion and eat less before hand

You can eat whatever you what - whenever you want. It sounds unfair, but to be frank there are millions of people in the world who live with unfairness everyday and it is to do with not having anything to eat or no house, or no family etc. Not being able to eat that steak sandwich at lunchtime is a small thing in comparison

Is your decision to eat based on cravings or are you genuinely hungry?

Plan what you are going to eat tomorrow - today - do not deviate from this plan at all..this in itself will stop the spur of the moment eating - if it is not on your plan, you cant have it..say to yourself "oh well - that's disappointing..never mind" It really isnt that big a deal

Stop fooling yourself:
do you say what to yourself before you eat something...
i'll only eat it this one dtime
its not that fattening
it won't matter
everyone else is eating it
i really want it
its a special occasion
i am upset and i dont care

The answer to this is
ITs not okay to eat unplanned food of any kind - iam just trying to fool myself. every single time I eat something I am not supposed to, I stregthen my giving in muscle and weaken my resistance muscle.it may feel good for a few seconds, however i will feel bad afterwards. If I want to lose weight and keep it off- i need to stop fooling myself.

RVT notes;
essentially she asks you to be a grown up and acknowledge that the food doesnt fall into your mouth - you are choosing to put it there - so why??
You are going to love this book ; I am obviously not doing it any justice, but I am hoping that giving you some lines from the book will help in some way until it arrives!!
if you have any other questions, let me know..
this book works for me - I am able to respond to those sabotaging thoughts - and I never have before..you will too - you just need to identify them for what they are and let your mind know that you are smarter than that!!!

[Kohinoor]

Hi Keren,

Would I be right in calling THIS one as "Number One" for you?

i think im scared of reaching my goal.

Like "Fear of the unknown", "Fear of change", or even.....


Drum Roll .........



Fear of Success - this is a BIGGIE for many - is this you?


Good girl for shouting out - many are afraid to even face this, so they simply disappear....

It's sad, as their lives could be so much different - thanks to you, your life will be different.

Koh

[RevampedTramp]

Yep and Koh has probably named it - unfortunately unless anyone else can find anything that Beck says about this aspect..I cant - and I have read the book over and over and over again...think that may be a little more specialist. You may have to find someone in a therapy type of situation to get to the reasons why..
I always thought mine may have to do with me being concerned about losing weight - like a safety net...but it would appear that at this stage that has very little to do with my situation..beck answered pretty much all of my problems...she may do for you or you may have to incorporate a few helpers!!

[Kohinoor]

Hi RVT,

Seems we cross-posted.... but, as you said, a "Fear of Success" (IF that really is Numero Uno) might need further digging. First though, it is over to Keren....

Hi Keren,
Some really good input there re the "food side of things" (courtesy of RVT and Judith Beck). I hope they rang some bells for you.

And, in case the fear of success IS an issue, like RVT, I can't add a lot more - with maybe one exception. And that is a link that questions you re "who you think you are" and even challenges you gently Can't think of better as a catalyst - so let's just see where it goes.

I'm adding a link to "Koh's Classics" - you'll need to click the link in there to read the words from Namaste. I could've just linked straight to the one post, but then, there might be other "classics" that sing to you, so do have a trawl around. Anyway, here's that link :-

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=257826#post257826

I hope it is of value to you Keren, in some way,
Hugs,
Koh

[ciaranfurness]

Thanks RVT and Koh, much appreciated xo

[Bree]

sorry to hijack the thread, but it struck a cord with me. I have been doing the same, and not five minutes ago ordered the books!

I know how good skinny looks, but can't seem to get past this stage! I can not wait to get my books and speak with my clinic this week arghhhh before I pull my hair out

[Annabelle Joy]

For the past three months I have been doing a course one night a week mainly so that I can help people who are struggling to lose/maintain weight (many, many years of doing that myself). Tomorrow night is the last night. This thread is exactly what I had in mind when I started out. While I feel I need more time before I apply what I have learned, I do know the theory that applies and have written out a process below, which I have shown to my teacher for his comments and have modified accordingly. I hope that it helps you Keren and Bree, and anyone else who might see it and need similar help.

Keren, I think that now it's not so much that you fear success as you have a history of giving up before you finish. Each time you do that you are 'mapping' it into your brain. Over time, you brain has learned that you always give up before you finish and now that idea is firmly planted there and it's telling you that the time has arrived. By identifying never completing as your problem you are reinforcing the idea that you always give up before you finish, and your brain is going to ensure that is what you do.

The solution is to reprogramme your brain. This is a two-step process, firstly removing the idea that you can't finish what you start and secondly planting the idea that you will be successful.

Here are some techniques to try. Take your time with these, make them as real as you can.

Firstly, you want to 'destroy' the notion that you won't finish. Think of something that you do well. It can be anything—work, hobby, whatever. If you can't think of anything you do well, think of something that someone else does well that you would like to do just as well. Imagine it in as much detail as you can, using as many senses as possible (sight, sound, smell, feel, but maybe taste isn't appropriate here) and see yourself doing it. Now make everything larger, brighter colours, louder, closer, etc. Perhaps you can sing well. If so, imagine you are on a stage, bathed in light and singing and the audience is captivated and applauds loudly at the end. Maybe you are particularly good at something at work. Imagine you have just completed it and are being praised by your boss, again lots of light, feeling good, etc. Maybe your garden flourishes and you spend time it in. Perhaps you enjoy dancing and are good at that. Perhaps you are good at managing the household budget, or the books for a business and love the satisfaction of balancing the budget. Whatever you choose, see yourself as slim and at your goal weight. See, feel, hear yourself doing it then make everything bigger, brighter, more intense.

Now put into your picture something that fits in with what you are doing that you can explode, throw away or otherwise make disappear. In the first example above you might imagine something hurtling toward you but higher up, then as it gets near it explodes and disappears, leaving even brighter light that enhances you on the stage. At work perhaps the working papers that you no longer need dissolve before your eyes. Stamp on a snail in the garden or spray a weed and see it instantly shrivel and die. Perhaps if your image is of some game that involves a ball the ball is thrown or hit rapidly and disappears out of sight. Practise your image until it comes to you quickly, full of sensory images, and the item being destroyed or disappearing moves very rapidly. That item is now your belief that you won't finish. Each time you have a thought that you want to deviate or that you never finish anything, immediately transfer it into the moving item in your success image and 'disappear' it. It's no longer part of you. This is the essence of what you are doing, out of sight and out of mind (your mind).

Next you want to programme your success image into your brain. Close your eyes and imagine your life as a timeline, beginning somewhere over your left shoulder. Think of yourself as you were when you started the diet. That image is small and dark and somewhere over your left shoulder. Come forward and see one or two images of yourself along the way, getting brighter and bigger. See yourself now, just in front of you. Now create images of your future, in front and to the right. See yourself looking slim and terrific at reefed, then at the end of reefed. Imagine situations in your future where you are still slim and in control. See yourself in the situations where you want to be in control doing the right things, e.g. confidently saying no to foods you shouldn't have and don't want. Make your future images colourful, bright, happy, seeing, hearing, smelling, etc. Replay these positive images in your mind frequently. Immediately and rapidly destroy any of the negative thoughts or temptations when they appear

For all of your positive images, take time to make them bigger, brighter, louder, etc. and use as many of your senses as you can. Another technique with the negative foods that are tempting you is to imagine something unpleasant, e.g. that they are filled with small black spiders and when you bite into them you get a mouthful of nasty tasting spiders. In contrast, your good food choices might bring angels singing, brightness, a feeling that your whole body is reacting in a positive way, feeling more alive. Another technique is to 'see' someone who is helping you achieve your goals. When you are passed a plate or a glass, or asked if you want something, you know you mustn't have right now, see that person in front of you, between you and the food or drink, shaking their heads no at the person tempting you or pushing the food/drink away, and you then do the same. Have them helping you and reinforcing your 'no', not chastising you. That person could be someone you love and respect, someone who would love to see you achieve your goals, or it could be a fictional person, someone from a film, Superman, an angel.

Make everything as real as you can, bring the positive images up frequently, 'disappear' any negative ideas as soon as they enter your mind. Practise, practise, practise and reprogram your future to be positive. Your brain is actually very simple, programmable as a computer is programmable. You send it messages and it listens to what you tell it. It doesn't recognise negatives. If I say "Don't think of a black cat" the first image that comes to your mind is a black cat. If you think "I don't want to fail again" you are setting yourself up for failure. If you 'disappear' the idea of failure and paint new images for your future, your brain accepts that as your future. Make your new images as real as possible, you are programming those images into your subconscious brain and the more real they are the more you are able to embed them. Your brain has not notion of past, present and future, see what you want in your future and your subconscious will believe it is real. One analogy is the barcode on a litre of milk. If someone changes the computer such that the barcode registers as a packet of crispbreads the computer does not know when the milk is swiped that it's not crispbreads. You are reprogramming barcodes with your images and your brain accepts whatever you do and they become real.

I hope this helps you. This technique definitely does work. The 'trick' to reprogramming your brain is as simple as finding images that work for you then applying them.

AJ

[Noddy]

AJ
This is a fantastic post - I think you have really hit the nail on the head!

I has really struck a cord with me

I have never completed anything (weight related) sucessfully in my life - all the previous programs I have lost weight, felt good, people tell me I look good - I give up, and before I know it I am back where I started, plus a few more kilos for good measure!

I think I have shown signs of this on this forum, with pulling out of the "slim by September" challenge - I had a week where I didn't loose, so simply gave up on the challenge. I have been toying with the idea of going back into the challenge - I just didn't want to put pressure on myself, but what I was really doing was giving myself reasons to give up, and not completeing the challenge - it is the story of my life!!! I am going to go back into the challenge, and use it to motivate me and be accountable!

It is really hard (I was saying to RVT a couple of days ago) even though I am close to loosing 30KGs I don't feel any different. I am scared when I loose another 30 more that if I don't feel any different and therefore I will end up back where I started - I over analyse this so much that it does my head in - maybe it is me just looking for excuses! I guess what I am scared of is that if I don't feel any different, how will I act different, and make different choices?

I wish you were in Queensland - I would be your 1st patient!!!

Thank you once again for the post!
xx

[Noddy]

BTW - further to the above.
I have ordered the Beck Diet Solution, "How to think like a thin person"
I am hoping that it will address some of my issues - I can't wait for it to come - I paid the $30.00 to have it couriered!!!

[RevampedTramp]

Well done Alison - It is worth every cent!!!
And, what AJ is talking about is a bit of what I did in the first few months - kind of
I visited a therapist who practices NLP - I probably only have had 5 treatments, but I can recall similar concepts - think it helped...so not a bad idea to look into..or wait for AJ to set up her business!!
Becks will help in other ways - sort of like attacking it from all angles

[Annabelle Joy]

Thanks for the feedback Noddy. I had some NLP help last year that really worked for me as nothing has ever done before. As a result I went looking for a course where I could learn to help others. My teacher was trained by two of the four people who were trained by the inventors of NLP, has been practising for 20+ years, so probably the best qualified person in Australia. Judith Beck also is trained in NLP. What's important, however you do it, is to put positive thoughts into your mind and remove the negative thoughts. However, those bad habits are well entrenched and given the chance can work their way back fairly quickly. That is why it is important to keep reviewing the new images and thoughts you are putting into your head. Keep them fresh and don't give the old habits a chance to get back. If you do stumble along the way, afterwards go through what happened step by step and replace in your mind the bits of what you did that are the old habits with the new ones. That also helps to ensure next time you won't make the same mistake. Most of all, think positively about what you are doing. Instead of "I always do the same bad thing" think "That was part of the old me and the new me [does it differently] (replace with what the new me does). What your brain believes is what you will do.

AJ

[ciaranfurness]

Wow AJ, that was amazing!! Thank you so much!!! xo