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Old 26-03-2007, 19:53
asy's Avatar
asy Female asy is offline
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Default Asy - Fish and chips story

Funny thing happened on the way home tonight.

Had to pick my Son up from Gymnastics at 6pm (well, didn't HAVE to, but they get cranky if you leave the kids there...). I'd said the kids could have Fish and Chips tonight, and had ordered them on the way to Gym, and stopped to pick them up on the way home.

Now, I usually ring and order the F&C and send one of the kids on a bike to fetch them (they're on the same street as we are, and we don't do it very often), but tonight I went into the store.

I haven't been in there since I started the programme.

The lady who owns the store came out and was shocked. She's a funny person, her english is not too hot, but she makes the best Fish and Chips for a Chinese woman. And her Daughter is at school with mine.

Aaaaaaaanyway...

She came out and said "oooh, you lost weight" I said, "Yes, thank you for noticing", she asked "How did you do it?!" (patting her stomach) I said, I stopped eating Fish and Chips (I wasn't explaining the system to her since there's no way she'd do the programme and anyway, I didn't really have time.

Then she asked "How much weight you lost? 20kg??"

I said, "Well, no, a little more than that".

She said "Nooooooo, How much? You tell me!"

I said "nearly 75kg".

She said "No, you didn't understand, Not "How much do you weigh", but "How much did you LOSE"...

I said, "Um, yes, almost 75kg. That's what I've lost. "

It was really funny, I said my goodbyes and ran outta there, for fear of getting stuck there...

Then she turned to the other woman in the shop and proceeded to explain (translate) to her what was said. She was making all the appropriate shocked sounds, but the FUNNIEST thing was when she was trying to explain what I looked like before... She held her arms around her like she was hugging an imaginary barrell, and blew her cheeks out trumpeter style and waddled up and down. It was HILLARIOUS.

Thankfully we were already getting into my car out the front, and they didn't see us roaring with laughter.

So, that was my evening. Then I came home and cooked chook and veg for me, it was yum.

asy

Link: http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=259882#post259882
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I'm a KIVA ANGEL...

Started: 4th July, 06 (MY independence day!) ... Finished: July 2, 2007 ... 88kg lost in 12 months
Don't annoy me... I just learned the Bat Bogey Hex...

Last edited by Kohinoor; 06-02-2010 at 11:39.
  #2  
Old 25-04-2009, 11:34
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Kohinoor Male Kohinoor is offline
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Default An oldie but a goodie....

Thanks to Nance's Big Sister for this offering:-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=185686#post185686

I'm sure both sexes will appreciate that one...
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!

Last edited by Kohinoor; 06-02-2010 at 11:34.
  #3  
Old 25-04-2009, 11:50
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Default Telling it like it is - with a twist

I love some people's "economy of words" with a touch of humour.

I specially loved this from Penny (Ropemaha) as she replied to someone who was on Day 3 :-

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ropemaha
great news you feel like rubbish, means its working already. fast eh?


Link: http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=131417#post131417
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!

Last edited by Kohinoor; 06-02-2010 at 11:30.
  #4  
Old 11-02-2010, 16:07
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Kohinoor Male Kohinoor is offline
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Default Kiwinui - "This TOM fella sounds like a nasty piece of work !!"

Thankfully, someone posted again to remind me that THIS (from Kiwinui) deserves a place in the "humour" thread.

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=232431#post232431

Certainly tickled a lot of people's funny bones. Nice work, Sean !!

Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!

Last edited by Kohinoor; 11-02-2010 at 16:10.
  #5  
Old 06-05-2010, 17:59
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Default Re: A little bit of humour ....

Thanks to Battler for providing this - what a story.... And it shows how EASILY things can come undone when "the scales" are calling you.

It almost mucked up her refeed - but the truth came out - and I couldn't stop laughing when I read it :-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=275667#post275667

Thank you, Battler for having the guts to "own up" online - what a memorable story that will be for you Tells me you are a "stand up" kind of girl, and a WINNER !!

Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!
  #6  
Old 09-05-2010, 11:39
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Kohinoor Male Kohinoor is offline
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Default The "Barrel of Bricks" story - plus....

Today, an old fave story came to mind, so I went looking for it - many may know the "Barrel of Bricks" story? It shows up right at the end of the linked page.

http://home.netcom.com/~spritex/humr_fr.html

Meanwhile, there are some rib-tickling quotes on the way down the page too.... enjoy !!

A couple I liked were :-
Middle age is where your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places - E. Joseph Cossman


and

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!

Last edited by Kohinoor; 09-05-2010 at 11:48.
  #7  
Old 13-06-2011, 10:44
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Kohinoor Male Kohinoor is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Default Joe Cocker at Woodstock - thanks Shanara...

Shanara provided us with a humorous interlude via this post.

It was a hilarious attempt to add sub-titles to Joe Cocker at Woodstock - where he did something to the Beatles song "I get by with a little help from my friends".... I'm not sure he sung it..... but he did something to it.

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7790

Now that we know the REAL words, we can all sing along (in between the tears from laughing so hard).
Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!
  #8  
Old 16-08-2011, 22:55
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Kohinoor Male Kohinoor is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Work: Sydney, Home: Brisbane
Posts: 12,223
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Default Re: A little bit of humour ....

Speaking of tears, I just happened across this particular bit of banter from "way back when"....

If you knew Lily, like I know Lily, oh, oh, oh what a gal..... (Lily is Garden Goddess). She had me in stitches again tonight (over 2 years later)

It started earlier in the thread.... see for yourself, to get context, but Andy's comment in the link below really kicked Lily off :-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=213101#post213101

And it just got funnier as it went along.....


Lily, if you are reading this today, I love you, funny girl !!!

Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!
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