SassyK's refeed diary

[SassyK]

So here I am at refeed ~I can't believe I made it. When I started this journey nine months ago I wasn't sure if I'd make it past 10kg, but it's been an easier ride (mostly - the end was a bit touch and go) than I imagined, and worth every moment. I used to get so frustrated seeing other people lose faster than I did, or reach goals sooner than me, or say how 'long' they'd been on the program when it was a fraction of the time I had... our journeys are all different, but they (hopefully) end up in the same place - here at refeed and then life beyond.

Today is Day 3 of 17, so I'll back-track and write up Days 1 and 2 as well.

Day 1 - Saturday, 26 July 2008

Weight: 71kg

Breakfast: Yoghurt + apple + cinnamon
Snack: Crackers + apple + small kiwi
Lunch: Beef Stoganoff + salad
Snack: Crackers + apple + mandarin
Dinner: Apricot chicken + salad
Fluid: Water x 3L, Soft drink x 2L (!), Herb tea x 4 cups
Exercise: RPM (45 mins)

Felt VERY dodgy today - had no energy - just felt flat, weak, tired and out of sorts. The scales were up, and not just a little bit, but I've had an erratic and sleepless three or four days, so I'll put it down to that. Spent most of the day in bed in the end. I wasn't as hungry as I have been in the last couple of weeks. Not sure if it's the extra food (it's hardly anything), or the extra soft drink I've been having (I'm still having too much, but it gets me through the day). I've been having an extra 1/2 to whole piece of fruit almost every day for the past two weeks, so it's probably not that!

I weighed in at 71kg today - grrrr. I had hoped to be 69kg or less by the time I started refeed, but I need to start regardless of my weight, so that I can complete it and have a week of maintenance before I head off to Greece and Turkey.

Day 2 - Sunday, 27 July 2008

Weight: 71kg (-0.0kg)
New items: extra old protein + extra old veg + extra good fruit + bread

Breakfast: Yoghurt + apple + cinnamon + cracker
Snack: Crackers + apple
Lunch: Chicken and cauliflower soup
Snack: Crackers + apple + mini mandarins
Dinner: Tropical prawn salad (prawns + pineapple + mango) + green salad
Fluid: Water x 3L, Soft drink x 2.5L (!), Herb tea x 3 cups
Exercise: Run (5km/35 mins), RPM (1 hour), Pump (1 hour)

Had more energy today - so I spent it a bit of it at the gym! I wasn't as hungry again today. Today I can add bread, if I want to... but I don't... it's scary... when I had some back in my May deviation it wasn't good. I'm going to stick with crackers until next week, when my cracker/bread allowance increases. And can I just say YUM PINEAPPLE!!! It's so nice to have a different flavour!

Day 3 - Monday, 28 July 2008

Weight: 69kg (-2.0kg)
New items: extra old protein + extra old veg + extra good fruit + bread

Breakfast: Yoghurt + cinnamon
Snack: Crackers + apple
Lunch: Apricot chicken + salad + vegetable soup
Snack: Crackers + apple
Dinner: Grilled fish + salad + mayo + 1/2 serve pineapple
Fluid: Water x 3L, Soft drink x 1.75L
Exercise: Run (3.5km/25 mins)

Down to a new low weight today. Oooph!!! I feel full. The extra protein is suprisingly filling! I wasn't hungry at all today and managed to not consume as much soft drink - yay!

The vegetable soup at lunch was really tasty and filling and a great way to use the extra vegies - just a small amount of celery, zucchini, tomato, mushroom, chilli flakes, garlic powder, plenty of ground black pepper, and chicken stock made from the apricot chicken.

[FotoHijinx]

Let me be the first to congratulate you Sassy for getting the diet done and dusted and now on to refeed.

I'll look forward to watching your journey - I'm right behind you!!

Cheers
Irene

[Cheral]

HI Sassy

Welcome - Was getting a bit lonely over here now all the others left.

I am really enjoying refeed, and in spite of a couple of hiccups over the weeked I am still down on my starting refeed weight.

The extra food at first seems to be too much, but although I am not yet at 'top load" I am not having any problem with it.

Made a fruit salad wiht my five pieces of fruit today and had good intentions to spread it out accross the day, but have just polished it off after my lunch.

Should be full until dinner time now I reckon..

I am very envious of your motivation/time to do exercise. I do so need to get back to the gym.

[shell]

Hi Sassy,
I am glad you are enjoying re feed.
I SO looooved having the fresh pineapple- very yummo!!

Sounds like you are doing great.
Shell

[JennyC]

Hi Sassy,

Have been following your journey and am so excited for you!!!! Thanks for visiting my diary. I get great inspiration from you as I feel as though I am where you were those nine months ago and my goal weight is the same. So I will continue to read you refeed progress with excitement for you. You'll be soooooooo ready for your holiday you deserve it!!!!!

JennyC

[ConnieK..]

Hey Miss Sassy,

Yahoooo!!! Congratulations on getting to refeed, not that you ever doubted you would!

I am so amazed by your journey. I know I for one had not been on the program as long as you, but I had been battling my PCOS weight along side you for the last 5 years and I know how hard you had to work. So hats off to you my friend for completing the first stage with such style!!!



Connie

[Annabelle Joy]

Welcome to the refeed board, Sassy. Not my favourite reading, all that food I can't have, but I will keep calling in and following your progress.

AJ

[Kohinoor]

Hi Sassy,

As always, I'm a spectator - but I'm sitting here applauding you ....



Great to hear the 69Kg figure reached - as you settle in, I'm sure it will continue to sink.....

Go, little champ

Koh

[Stoddy]

Hey Sassy

Congrats again .... am going to follow your progress thru refeed .. I followed Connies and it really inspired me to get there and looks like you are enjoying it as much as she did !!
Well done ... that 9 months was well worth it hey !! I am so inspired by you .. and proud of you !
I have been counting your days down with Sum and I in Sums diary for holidays .... you are going to have the best trip !!!
Have a great day
Stoddy

[SassyK]

Day 4, 29 July 2008

Weight: 69kg (-0.0kg)

Breakfast: Yoghurt + apple +kiwifruit + mandarin
Snack: Cracker + apple
Lunch: Chilli ginger & basil chicken + salad + vegetable soup
Snack: Early afternoon: Cracker + apple; Late afternoon: Cracker + apple
Dinner: Seafood 'alfredo' (fish, prawns, calamari) + sauce made with mayo, garlic & parsley+ 'zucchini linguine'*+ tomato
Snack: Fruit salad (apple + kiwifruit + mandarin + apricot )
Fluid: Water x 3L + Soft drink x 2.5L
Exercise: Morning - Run (3km/20 mins), RPM (45 mins); Evening - Pump (1 hour), RPM (45 mins)

* Zucchini linguine is just zucchini shaved with a vege peeler - makes a great pasta substitute...


I went to bed last night feeling so full. I was sure I was going to have gained this morning... but that was more because I had a bit of a deviation last night. I was at a friend's house and she was making choc chip cookies... she had a bowl of choc chips that she was casually eating as we chatted. I mindlessly ate one... then kind of gave in and had about 10 more. D'oh! I don't want to screw up now... not when I just got here. I MUST STAY STRONG. Now is not the time to just give in. Refeed is so important to do properly - I believe that - so it has to stop now!

This morning I'm full of beans! I have soooooo much more energy today. I went to the gym this morning and only came home because I have to get ready to go to work... I could have kept going! My mood has changed and the fog has lifted from my head.

I was so excited about reaching goal that I told my morning gym buddies today. They were all gobsmacked when I said that I'd lost 96kg all up - I thought they all knew! When I was at the gym yesterday morning, two of my other regular gym buddies pulled me aside and asked if I'd reached my goal weight yet. I thought they were going to be excited for me when I told them that I had, but they were actually concerned that I'd gone too far! Then, I went to see a vascular specialist in the afternoon about my puffy lower legs. He agreed that it's fluid, probably lymphatic, but I am going to have some diagnostic ultrasounds to check it all out. He said if it was residual fat that I might just have to live with it, but that liposuction (!) might help. I (half) jokingly said that if it was fat another 4 or 5kg would probably take care of it... and he suddenly got all serious and wanted me to tell him I wasn't planning to lose any more weight, and started asking if anyone was supervising my weight loss. It wasn't the reaction I expected, especially as he'd just seen my legs and the extra weight I'm carrying there.

On a non-scale victory note... I checked out an end of season sale in one of the more glamorous shops in town today. As I was looking through the racks the sales assistant kept holding stuff up to show me. She held up a lovely jacket and said "the smallest we have left is size 12 and that would be way too big for you"!!!! No sales assistant has ever said anything, let alone a size 12, would be too big for me. When I left the shop, without buying anything, I had a huge smile on my face.

I'll update my food intake later today. Hope everyone has a great day (get well soon Stoddy!).

Hey Sassy!!

Doesnt it feel great when a sales assistant does that! It amazed me on the gold coast when that happened to me...

I love reading refeed diarys - they are so helpful and inspiring - Thankyou for all the updates!

Fingers crossed for your ultra sounds for your legs, hope everything works out there.... I think we know our bodies better than anyone else - my Dr wasnt keen on Cohens - gave me a book to read (which i didnt) maybe i should give him some info on Cohens....


Have a great day Sassy, - not long till holidays!!!

Sum

[perthwoman]

Hey there. I was searching for ur diary only to realise your onto refeed!! That's such an achievement well done!!! Such an inspiration. I can only hope to be that successful in 9months time.
Goodluck for the week!

[Annabelle Joy]

I've always had big thighs and thick lower legs and ankles, Sassy, even when I was quite thin up top. Very few are perfect.

96 kgs is an amazing weight to have lost. You really are amazing with what you have done.

AJ

[KyMMy]

Sassy K, I've ordered my refeeding today! YAH! I'm looking forward to reading your refeed diary as I am about a week behind you! Congrats on your work, and your motivation for the gym, i need to kick my self into gear.

[jeannie77]

Sassy Well Done on refeed and reaching your goal weight - I'm so excited for you. Thanks for your support with me getting back on track, you have been such an inspiration for me.

Keep up the great work, your almost done!

[SassyK]

Day 5, 30 July 2008

Weight: 69.1kg (+0.1kg)

Breakfast: Yoghurt + 1 apple + cinnamon + crackers x 2
Snack: Crackers x 2 + 1/2 apple
Lunch: Chicken tandoori* (+ 1/2 extra protein) + salad + vege soup (1/2 extra veg)
Snack: Crackers x 1 + 1/2 apple
Dinner: Beef stew (+ 1/2 extra proten) with tomato, zucchini, mushroom, spinach and garlic (1/2 extra veg)
Dessert: Fruit salad (apple, apricot, pineapple, kiwifruit, mandarin, mango - 160g total)
Fluid: Water x 3.5L (s0 far), Soft drink x 1.2L (so far)
Exercise: RPM (45 mins)

*own tandoori powder made from powdered cumin, coriander, tumeric, paprika and ginger

[ConnieK..]

Hey Miss Sassy,

Glad to see it's all going well

Connie

[Trips]

Ok so I'm a bit late, like 5 days late... but CONGRATS!!! You have made it to refeed! I am so excited and proud and excited again!! And apart from one small dev, it seems you are going splendidly!! You have done such a wonderful job Sassy, and I seriously adore you! It must be quite amazing to think, that in about two weeks time, you will have finished this stage of the journey. What a wonderful 'reward' your trip will be, kinda like a new beginning.

Much love,
Trips xxxxxxx

[SassyK]

Day 6, 31 July 2008

Weight: 70.0kg (+0.9kg)

Breakfast: Yoghurt + apple x 1 + cinnamon + cracker x 1
Snack: Crackers x 2 + apple x 1
Lunch: Chilli, ginger & basil chicken (+ 1/2 extra protein) + salad + vege soup (1/2 extra veg)
Snack: Crackers x 2 + kiwifruit x 1 + mandarin x 1
Dinner: Chicken curry (+1/2 extra protein) + salad (+1/2 extra veg)
Fluid: Water x 3.5L, Soft drink x 1.5L
Exercise: RPM (45 mins)

Well, I feel like crap today... and I deserve it. I'm not finding this refeed caper very easy at all. I could go into detail... in fact I did, but just deleted it... but let's just say yesterday was a complete write off. It started in the morning before work... and involved cookie dough... and, well, the rest of the day didn't get much better... and involved a frozen slice of cake. I have no idea what I was thinking.

Today has been much better, mainly because I feel so awful after yesterday - I'm bloated and tired, I have a mild headache and my brain feels foggy - and I can't face eating.

Last night I wasn't sure what I was going to do today. I thought I might go back on the program for a couple of days, to undo what I did. Or maybe go back a couple of days on refeed... maybe I still will. I'm not sure quite how the 1kg rule in refeed works either - I'm down 2kg on my refeed start weight, which was 71kg, but up 1kg on my all time low weight, which was 69kg. Does anyone know?

I think I'll see what the next couple of days brings. If I'm still up on the scales (it feels like TOM is coming, though it's hard to know because it's been a bit erratic lately) in a couple of days I think I'll reassess and make some decisions then. Until then, I'm going to forge on and do my best to do this refeed 100%. I HAVE TO. For now, I'm going to put it all behind me. Lesson learnt... I hope.

I hate that I'm back into the 70s. It sucks in a major way. 70kg is/was going to be my upper limit for myself, and I've already hit it. I never want to be 70-something kilos again (unless it's because I'm pregnant... not that it's very likely to happen!).

I'm not proud of myself... in fact I'm bitterly disappointed. I've come too far to screw up now. The main problem, I think, is that in my head I'm FINISHED. I'm AT GOAL, and HAPPY with the size I'm at. Another two weeks just seems so... unnecessary somehow. Refeed is critically important to do right, I understand that... so why I am finding it so much harder than the program? The relative freedom has not been good for me... it makes me very concerned about my ability to cope in maintenance... if I ever make it!

Anyway.... Connie, Trips, Jeannie, Kymmy, AJ, Perthwoman, Stoddy, Koh, Sum, Shell, Cheral, JennyC and Irene... thanks so much for checking in on my refeed. I need all the support I can get at the moment.... arrrgggghhh!

[shell]

Hi Sassy,
You go by the weight you started re feed, if you gain 1kg more than that, at any time during re feed, you have to go back 2 days.
So, if for example you started re feed at 70kg- if you go over 71kg, go back 2 days.

Hang in there, you can do this Sassy- you have come SO far.

I would personally go back 2 days from tomorrow, give yourself a chance to drop the weight you have put on- it could be more tomorrow because it can sometimes take a day or two.

Shell