New You Forums

Go Back   New You Forums > New You Forum Diary Boards > New Diaries

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-02-2020, 10:21
Donzie Female Donzie is offline
On my way - To a new me.
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 212
Default Donzie 2.0 in 2020

Dear Donzie

Today is day 1 of week 2. (Size AU 16)

I am feeling pretty good today after a week of low(ish) energy and dull headaches, I'm please to note though there was nothing extreme to report on my first week.

This is my second time around. I was successful in losing 36kgs in 2015/2016 during a 26 week period (SIZE AU 20 to SIZE 8 ). While the weight loss was amazing and transformative from a physical perspective, the real magic (for me) was the mental and emotional shift that took place in that time.

Quite incredible really that in a short 26 week period I had become a new person. I viewed myself differently, it appeared others viewed me differently. That fog of dissatisfaction, and probably low grade depression, lifted and dissolved more with each passing week. It was an extreme change both internally and of course externally. Kicking that fat suit to the kerb did more than just improve my physical health.
I was able to become more acquainted with a part of myself that was previously buried over. Hidden from view by negative thoughts and negative observations.

So, over the last couple of years (certainly more over the last 12 months) that person inside has become buried again in that fat suit of negative thoughts and observations. That general dissatisfaction has gathered more and more, manifesting in poor food and exercise choices and feelings of hopelessness when it comes to managing the battle of the bulge.

So, I know what to do. All things have their time (I believe) and this is my time to embark upon Donzie 2.0 in 2020.

I am writing this diary to document this process. This diary is for future Donzie (big wave to you future Donzie) I have got your back always, or is it you who has mine, I am hoping to create a type of road map we can travel together over and over and kick that damn fat suit to the kerb and manage life without it more permanently.

I want to remind you how much I love you. You are fun, creative and kind and have the ability to have and be anything you wish for. We have an important job to do. All those goals and plans we made require us to be happy to manifest them.

Now today, I will be reaching beyond those negative thoughts and feelings to go searching for you. I know your there I can feel you, I donít need to see you. I know you reside in the space beyond thought, I feel your quiet calling to me.

Till we meet again
Donzie x.

Last edited by Donzie; 04-02-2020 at 11:20.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-02-2020, 17:05
Kohinoor's Avatar
Kohinoor Male Kohinoor is offline
Been here forever!!! - Ask me Anything !!
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Work: Sydney, Home: Brisbane
Posts: 12,137
My NYF Diary
Default Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020

Hey Donzie,
I really liked your thoughts in restarting. Your talk to your "inner Donzie" reminded me of several others on here who did similar things. For a bit of a look at how others faced their own path, do check out some of the latter pages of "gems" as there were several "awakenings" by several Cohenites.


You are sure to agree/applaud some, while others might be on a different path to yourself - but I guess it shows that there are many different ways to tackle the same issue. Some may be inspirational to you, while others you may just skip over. Whatever your choice, it is all good, and all yours.


Some wrote letters to their "Inner Fat Chicks", saying goodbye, and welcoming in their ISC's (you'll know who she is !! ) Others valued talking to their "inner child" who they thought was sabotaging them just to get attention to long-held yet unresolved issues. Many different ways - no one size fits all, but all might be valid each in their own way.


In case you don't know of "Gems", click the link below to start at page 6, then read on. Of course, you can go to other pages too, your call !!

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthr...?t=3782&page=6



Rock on - go tag team with Kristine perhaps,
Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy
I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed...
And me? I'm a tall skinny bloke (BMI ~23) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 13-02-2020, 09:50
Donzie Female Donzie is offline
On my way - To a new me.
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 212
Default Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020

Thank you Koh,

You are such kind and welcome presence on this forum. A wealth of knowledge and a committed force for good. When I did Cohen's the first time you were not on the forum at that time, and I always wished you were.

It is lovely to have you here this time.

Thank you again.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 13-02-2020, 09:50
Donzie Female Donzie is offline
On my way - To a new me.
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 212
Default Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020

Week 3: Day 3 (Size AU 14/16)

Dear Donzie,

Iíve got through the first two weeks. This is no minor achievement. Establishing those new patterns around food and water are never easy as your body and mind resist all change. So am feeling somewhat satisfied with myself.

That relentless mental chatter has had the volume turned down somewhat this week and in itís place is a calmer but slightly numb feeling. This is fine.

I feel like I have settled into an anchored pattern now. Being on the EP has eliminated so much choice that it is comforting to have so little to think about in terms of food and its associates. There is a bit of effort in the monitoring of supplies which really is a welcome distraction. I am up at the supermarket buying apples every few days and pondering my choice of leafy green veg. Silverbeet has been the vegetable of choice lately.

I keep forgetting to take the vitamins and upon closer inspection see they are well out of date anyway. They are probably doing nothing but I continue to take them when I remember. Long hair donít care.

Speaking of hair I had it all cut off. Just so sick of myself and how I look it was an easy decision. Chop it off. Done. One more less thing.
It makes looking in the mirror a bit easier, I look different now. Thatís good.

Work is busy. Too busy really. I am up early each morning monitoring emails before I get the kids up and ready for school. I wonder if I wouldnít be better off getting a full time job somewhere, this freelancing gig can be exhausting physically and mentally. You are either overwhelmed with too much work or in a panic because there is not enough. But hey, the grass is always greener, right.

I havenít been weighing myself. Iím not sure at what weight I began this EP. I realise this is not what the EP is about, itís all about the numbers. But strangely I donít care about them this time. Iíve had a weird relationship with the scale in the past where its feedback would effect my mood for the day, so I am happy to ignore all numbers this time around.

I did go back and look at some photos from 2015. I was alot heavier when I started last time, but I look now how I looked at about 8 weeks then. Somewhere between 85kg - 90kg. I estimate a total of 16 weeks of time before I am ready for refeed.

Last time I lost a clothing size every four weeks. With a large loss of over 8kgs the first month, then an average of 5 kgs per month after that.

Itís interesting to me how the tummy deflates first. My whole middle has been pulled in, I like this sensation. Of course no one around me has noticed anything yet, I am in the same clothes as per usual they are just a bit looser. I feel like Iím on a secret ďshrinkingĒ mission and Iím happy to be undetected in this quest for now.

I have two favourite times of the day. The first being that last meal of the day, dinner. I get dinner for the kids and hubby first, then I make mine. I usually save one of my apples for dessert and I love that feeling of fullness that comes from eating meal 3 and an apple so close together. Not long after that I am ready for bed where I normally read for an hour or two.

My second favourite time of the day is that first black coffee in the morning. I have been waking up super early and enjoying the quiet solitude it brings. I love that coffee, that quiet time alone.

Anyway, as always till next time,

Donzie.x

Last edited by Donzie; 13-02-2020 at 17:29.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 15-02-2020, 14:32
Mich's Avatar
Mich Female Mich is offline
Getting up again!
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 721
Default Re: Donzie 2.0 in 2020

Hi Donzie!

Great to meet you! I LOVE your post and resonated with it so so much! Looking forward to supporting you in the best way I can!
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
2020 , donzie

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Donzie's Diary Donzie New Diaries 184 19-08-2017 16:18

Custom T-ShirtsCustom Wrapped Canvas

All times are GMT +11. The time now is 10:18.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.