Binge Eating, Anxiety, Obsession and Panic

[hexi2]

I have NEVER been a binge eater...but it seems during and post Cohens this has been a problem...

Has this happened to others post refeed especially where you have never had this problem before?

It has taken me by surprise and I can't figure out if this is pyschological or physical as I am CRAVING sweet things then bingeing - I would have never considered myself a 'sweet tooth' and bickies, chocolates and cakes have never been my thing (rather cheese, fatty fried food, chips and milk) but I have a REALLY sweet tooth...

Others please shed some light! and/or some strategies in dealing with this....

I have made an appointment to see a counsellor to try to figure out what the hell I think I am doing...

[ropemaha]

hey, are you ok tonight?

[hexi2]

Did it AGAIN! I don't know what the %$^# is going on but its gotta stop! Went for dinner...pretty ok but allowed myself permission to eat salad with creamy dressing and the steak with a little gravy (on the side) had things like beetroot, pineapple and salad so all ok there...filled up on that before the steak came out...all ok. But then I decided to have a few chips (despite being on 'reset') then on the way home I WANTED that bloody cheesecake - went to a few places but nothing...so I got a pastry chocolate roll then it was on! Mind you I had a HUGE serve of salad a 300gm steak plus 2 seafood sticks...was full as anything but no kept going...ate more chocolate, bickies, nuts, nut bar, cheese, some chips, cheeseballs...whatever I ate it!

[ropemaha]

ok yep thats a binge....

i really think its the deprivation response by the neural reward pathway...you have held it together for so long and now you feel let loose...

i think that talking to someone about it is a great idea and i have heard great stuff about the psychs at eas....my mate who is doing cohens uses eas for her work counselling and reckons she does nothing but talk about the diet....

so yeah i would do that also...in fact i probably will be doing that this time next week...

just keep the water up so your body can detox...

pen

[ropemaha]

or alternatively something you are eating is triggering this response...mmmm....might have to do a process of elimination technique to see...it really doesnt sound like you at all.

[ropemaha]

oh yeah, i also forgot to say...exercise...we need to exercise...lets get something together in the next few days....weekend??....cause i reckon i am up for a bit and it will definately help both of us...

[hexi2]

Ok lets do Saturday...body balance at the Y 11:10 I can take both the kids into the creche

I have my appointment with EAS the week after next...(that was the earliest) anyway I just think it is a case of not allowing myself outside of Cohens from here on in as I can't seem to understand 'moderation' at least not for now....no more going out for dinner.

Hopefully the 'celebration' dinner for me for finishing my diet wasn't such a good idea after all...my daughter yelled out 'yipee - mums allowed to eat all the rubbish in the world now'!!

Maybe this is the last of it as I have rewarded myself so to speak....and need to add the 'closure' bit...anyway I don't think I will go to work tomorrow as Billy has been sick for the last few days and I told the childcare centre that I would keep him home...

Maybe a facial tomorrow or something?

[shell]

Hi Hexi,
Sorry you are finding it tough at the moment

Before you probably would have kept going, but you have learned different and are asking for help

It might be a bit like you think you have to eat it all "now" because you have been so good throughout the strict eating plan & you now have the freedom to make your own decisions, it is just all a bit too much at the moment.

Good on you for owning up,
Shell

[ropemaha]

i was just about to post you and say have tomorrow off and come over and bring that beautiful baby and we can hang out.....

lol to imani....

[hexi2]

Yeh no worries - I'll come over

Thanks Pen and Shell for your support (she says as she downs another sweet nut bar)...tomorrow i am back into it

[ropemaha]

god your hilarious....

no bloody sweet bars at my place mate....

see you for coffee in the morning

pen

[hexi2]

Yeh what was I thinking stocking up on nut bars, different types of chocolate, bickies? I thought it was a good idea at the time...and they sat there for weeks and weeks....

Funny thing is that I am not overly concerned about the cheese and nuts around (but ate them anyway!) it's the SWEET stuff I am craving and it tastes so lovely...melt in your mouth type of thing but once again I am feeling so sick in my tummy! And like I said sweets have NEVER been my weakness...it's all a bit crazy...

I will come around about 9 or something?

[Faithy]

I'm so sorry!! I laughed so hard & then cried when I read this thread.. what's with that?? Binge eating??!! When I first finished I had everything under control & then one day it was like a rubber band went 'ping'...

[hexi2]

yeh Faithy - let me know when you find out

I think that neural reward pathway thing Pen is talking about makes sense...especially for those who weren't binge eaters before...I think it is a reward of some crazy thoughts...hey we have been deprived for sooooooooooo long and somehow we tell ourselves we deserve to taste EVERYTHING we have 'missed out on' so to speak in a matter of minutes - totally crazy behaviour....maybe the quicker we do it the body won't realise it is there - like YEAH RIGHT!

Anyway....sounds like it might be sorta normal to do this post deprivation of foods???? I don't know but it would be great to feel that I am not the only one who has 'discovered' this phenomena post Cohens...

[Faithy]

The problem with binge eating, well what I've noticed anyway.. the first day I did it, the day after I hadn't gone up hardly at all.. so OF COURSE *eye rolling moment* I HAD to do it the 2nd because the 1st 'seemed' to have no effect.. then on the 3rd day boom!!! My weight ballooned up.. now I worry about the 4 kilo thing.. you know, go above 4 kilos & then the human growth hormone apparently stops & then if you want to go back on the program you have to get a new one.. I will admit I did go above my 4.. but the weight does come back off OK on my normal program.. so what does all that mean? Is that why my body has changed shape almost over night even though my weight seems OK? Cause the human growth hormone has gone?? Ugghhh I HATE self sabotage.. whether it's that or not I dont know but I'm in a HUGE panic about it..

[hexi2]

Hmmm I don't know...did you have to go on your program for longer than 2 weeks and re do the refeed?

What do you mean your shape has changed? I don't know why/how that would be...

Yep self sabotage is absolute maddness especially at this late stage of the game...after all we both pretty deviation free (well I had a 2 day binge once during the program) so who knows but lets hope the pyschs can shed some light...

I sorta thought the same about yeh 600gms up overnight...not too bad considering....but tomorrow is going to be pretty bad weight wise I am thinking. I look about 6 months pregnant at the moment.

And I haven't had a period for about 2 or 3 months now either...

I have to get back into carb free this is total craziness....panic? Yeh I know that feeling....

[Faithy]

No.. I'm trying to avoid that... I've only gone on it (the program) for 2 or 3 days at a time..

My legs have gotten bigger.. but that could be from the walking, although you'd think they'd get smaller.. & my tummy has lost its slim look & has ballooned out.. upper tummy & lower.. It's gone more like 'flab' looking LOL.. than anything.. hubby reckons it's my body just re-adjusting its shape after dieting for so long & then stopping.. but then where did it all come from?? Perhaps I'm just paranoid cause as I said in my diary I see myself as being as big as when I first started which is ridiculous I know.

[Toni]

Hi Faithy
I know exactly what you mean about looking different and losing that slim shape. I feel like I went from the point of looking too thin (before refeed) to much healthier looking, and now I just feel fat. I have gained weight through bingeing, but I feel fatter than when I started (which I know I'm not) And I still see myself as the same size as I was when I started (even though I know I'm not). I am about to go back on my origianal program again after previous failed attempts. How well did it work for you second time around? Does it work as quickly? I am hoping that I can just do it for a few days just to get a kick start.

[hexi2]

Ok spoke in length to the clinic about this and basically will come up with a plan that works for me - at the moment I think this is not having any 'off limit' foods in the house and reducing any sweets to 'going out only events' I am also going to start weighing according to refeed for the next few weeks until I feel more comfortable...she seems to think that what I am experiencing emotionally has a lot to do with binge eating considering I have never done that before....she is also going to check with other clinics on some further strategies in dealing with this issue.

I am also off to counselling next week and she was interested in knowing the outcome of that...

So I feel a bit better

[shell]

Glad of that Hexi,
That is probably a bit of a weight off your shoulders!
At least you have a plan.
Shell