Back again!

[megu]

Hi everyone,

I am not even sure if I could be "officially" considered a 2nd timer since I hadn't even done my refeed yet! I am basically stuck at the stage between plan and refeed.

I started on the plan 2 months ago, lost the weight (about 7kg) I needed to lose over a month or so and ended on the lower end of the goal range. I couldn't really be sure of the signs of refeed, I just wanted to get to lower and lower weight, say about 50. My goal weight range given is 53-56. I had my refeed program but didn't start as I didn't think I was THAT hungry then and thought I could go lower.

Then I started to have monstrous huge sugar and carb cravings, which I gave in and I binged. I started to crave for sugary sweet cakes and buns and what have you - strangest thing, I have NEVER craved those things before in my entire life. I couldn't stop though I didn't taste all that food either.

It went on for a couple of weeks. I started to have strange thoughts in my head, I couldn't quite think straight and I had such wild thoughts about the food I was going to eat next. Food, especially sweet fatty carbs, became an obsession. I had never lost so much control over food ever since I lost 20kg on an exercise-diet plan 4 years ago.

After the binges, I often thought - could I make myself throw up? Wouldn't that make me a bulimic?

I didn't have much issue with the food on Cohen, I wasn't really hungry, I prepared everything myself though at times, it could get tedious with all the weighing and cooking.

Anyway, I am starting back on the plan again tmr - hope I will stick with it - had so many false starts, promising myself I would "start" on a given day, only to end up bingeing again at the smallest trigger.

megu

[JayCee]

Ok. Day 1 tomorrow which means the past is exactly that ... in the past. Lets leave it there and look to the future snd take one step at a time.

You can do this ... pull out a photo of where you are now and one if where you want to be in the future - the beach, a wedding, in a specific dress ... something that can give you a visual reminder of why you are on this journey.

This forum is full if warm friendly people who are on similar journeys; they are a great resource - use them and your diary to help stay motivated.

You CAN do this!!

JC

[Dezzy]

Hi and welcome.... Good luck starting tomorrow and I hope the detox is not too painful for you!

[mcbell]

Originally Posted by megu

I couldn't really be sure of the signs of refeed, I just wanted to get to lower and lower weight, say about 50. My goal weight range given is 53-56. I had my refeed program but didn't start as I didn't think I was THAT hungry then and thought I could go lower.

Then I started to have monstrous huge sugar and carb cravings, which I gave in and I binged. I started to crave for sugary sweet cakes and buns and what have you - strangest thing, I have NEVER craved those things before in my entire life. I couldn't stop though I didn't taste all that food either.

It went on for a couple of weeks. I started to have strange thoughts in my head, I couldn't quite think straight and I had such wild thoughts about the food I was going to eat next. Food, especially sweet fatty carbs, became an obsession. I had never lost so much control over food ever since I lost 20kg on an exercise-diet plan 4 years ago.

After the binges, I often thought - could I make myself throw up? Wouldn't that make me a bulimic?

I didn't have much issue with the food on Cohen, I wasn't really hungry, I prepared everything myself though at times, it could get tedious with all the weighing and cooking.

Anyway, I am starting back on the plan again tmr - hope I will stick with it - had so many false starts, promising myself I would "start" on a given day, only to end up bingeing again at the smallest trigger.

megu

Hey Megu

I can totally relate to what you have posted. I am only on day 5 now after attempting to restart my plan on the 17th of September - so it took me almost a month to start again properly.

I completed refeed (I also struggled to identify when the right time was to start), but then I tried too many things too quickly and went away on holiday and let it all build up.

I am the same with sugar - I was always a savory person before cohens, but once I started trying things in Maintenance/Management I was really disappointed that the foods I had loved previously did nothing for me, and didn't even taste that good! I would be eating something - and while I was chewing, I would be thinking of the next new thing I could taste. Crazy behaviour for me, I think. I think my biggest issue is that I still see food as a comfort and reward, and I was no longer getting the buzz from food that I used to.

I am going to have to be very, very, very careful next time round - I am going on plan, and will complete refeed again. I am going on some self improvement workshops in the next few weeks, and if I need to, I will be seeking some form of therapy or counselling once I finish refeed to sort out my issues with food, so that I can manage them better.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know there is someone who has been through this exactly very recently. I hid away in shame, both physically (socially) and from the forum, but I have found that checking out the forum, reading up and posting has helped keep me focussed and on track.

I hope you have had a successful day one - I have little red stars I draw on my wall calendar (at work) to indicate a successful cohens day, and I am happy to report that line of little stars is growing!

All the best, stay in touch through the forum, there is plenty of help and support here from the wonderful members - check out my maintenance and "7kg to refeed" diaries and see how wonderful people can be, even when you are feeling at your lowest.

Take care, and keep on trucking!