The Best Version of Myself

StrongerThanSheKnows · #1 04-08-2016, 04:30

Day 3-
I realized this morning, that all of the sudden I feel like a grownup. Haha. I have a career, husband, daughter, house...all the components that make a grownup. And being a grownup means you acknowledge that life isn't all fairy tales and lollipops. There's hard times, and you will get through them. And sometimes you put yourself through hard things for the best outcome.

This is abundantly clear as I am wrapping up my first semester teaching which took every thing I had. I wrote lectures every moment of time I wasn't teaching. I barely saw my family, i barely slept....for eight weeks. It has been unbelievably brutal. But it's hard to get jobs in my field and being offered a class was a big deal. Even though it was a subject I hadn't prepared for and I had 3 days before class started, and its summer so a 16 week course is condensed into 8. Anway, this has been a most difficult challenge.

I'm Coming out of that, and starting the diet (because I actually have time now to dedicate to my health, and I hit that I've had it point.) And because, I'm a grown up. I know there's a bigger picture here. That you have to sacrifice to make the life you dream of.

My husband and I want to have another baby next year. And with the 50 or so lbs I gained with my daughter two years ago, its not a good idea for my health. I know that if I were to get pregnant again at this size I would spend my entire pregnancy worrying about my body. I would most likely gain even more weight and feel like I lost complete control of my health and weight.

So I have big good grown up reasons for doing this, and doing it now. My family deserves me to be the best version of myself, and so do I. So yeah, it's going to take work, and sacrifice, but that's life. And I love it. As time goes on, detox will end, new habits will form, and meanwhile my body will begin to return to a healthy state. Being a grownup isn't so bad.

StrongerThanSheKnows · #2 04-08-2016, 05:00

Day 3: Side note
Totally going through detox. Headache....BOOOOO! Looking forward to feeling good again in the next couple days.

Soleil · #3 05-08-2016, 04:40

Hi there!!
I bet the headache's gone now! Today (day 4 for me) was my first detox free day

Awesome post you wrote!! I fell pregnant with my second immediately after I finished my first ever Cohen. Maintained a loooong time during pregnancy too, I was actually in my second trimester until I gained any weight at all

After having her, I was still lighter than what I was when I got pregnant with my first. Fast forward four years things are very different but I look at that time when I was at my optimal weight, pregnant and so happy and I've been longing to get there ever since. It's a happy place to be. I look forward to following your journey to the finish line!

Soleil xx

mesmer_eyes · #4 06-08-2016, 15:23

Hey there.. how are you doing? Done with detox? Those detox headaches! Uff i know them all too well... and when I get them I dont take pain killers, try to convince myself its just detox and it will go away.

You deserve this, to try, persevere, and succeed. And it will cascade down to the people around you and love..

StrongerThanSheKnows · #5 06-08-2016, 15:46

Hi Soleil! Day 5 now, and headache free! It feels great. Definitely feeling more myself and more confident too. I love how I feel better all around just knowing I'm on the right track and taking care of myself! Thanks for the encouragement and I look forward to following your journey too!

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StrongerThanSheKnows · #6 06-08-2016, 15:48

Hi Mesmer!
Yes so much better now!! And you are so right, things will just improve right along with my health, thanks for reminding me! Thanks for checking in!!

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StrongerThanSheKnows · #7 06-08-2016, 15:59

Today, I visited my best friend who could have her baby any moment now. We both were much larger at earlier stages in our life. And we both thought about how strange it was that we seemingly carried all that weight around easily back then. Now being pregnant and still smaller than that version of herself, she wonders how she lived that way.
We get used to things, slowly they become our normal. And funny as it is to compare it happens with the diet too. Like as I got bigger in the past, it happened slowly and I just adjusted until it became my normal. The diet is so hard in the beginning because everything is different. But gradually that becomes the normal.
I'm not there yet, and I probably won't be for a while. But eventually my normal will be the portions and foods we get on Cohen s and it will be normal to just say no to all those non Cohen's things. Until then, I just stay the course despite the challenges. Eventually, I know it gets easier...more normal.
I don't know if that made any sense but yeah, that is tonight's tired thoughts.

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Bucklebunny · #8 08-08-2016, 10:08

Hi there STSK - your first week done and dusted?
When I started, I was impatient & just wanted to be one of the people on here that had done 1 month, 2 months, more .... and now I am. My initial 9 weeks have gone so fast and I'm glad I didn't put this off any longer. You're doing great !!!

StrongerThanSheKnows · #9 11-08-2016, 05:10

Hey Bucklebunny!

Thanks for the encouragement! It's such a help!

Yeah I'm so relieved to be done with the first 10 days now! Wahoo! Its definitely getting easier and I'm getting glimpses of that time where you just know that you're not going to cheat and you don't have to TRY so much.

But I lOVE LOVE LOVE knowing that I'm doing everything I can to take care of myself and progress towards my goals!

Another deviation free day, here we go!

Soleil · #10 12-08-2016, 21:17

Keep up your beautiful positive attitude

You're doing great!!

StrongerThanSheKnows · #11 16-08-2016, 05:22

Thanks Solei!!

Today, I decided to cheat a little....I weighed in. I've had rough few days and I know I'm getting over the hump of getting used to this.

I think I over did it energy wise last week and paid for it big time by being exhausted the last few days. My husband keeps asking me if something is wrong, cause I generally have a bit of pep in my step.

The decreased food and turning off the "fat factory" as Cohen says, definitely got to me. Also going out to eat with family and friends ( I brought my meals) was a bit of a challenge.

None the less I stayed true to the plan and rewarded myself with a cheat weigh in. Lol.

After my first 2 weeks on plan, I was down almost 10lbs! (4.5kg).

It was a huge boost of motivation. I'm moving closer and closer to my goals. I'm also getting through the hardest adjustment period. That feels great.

My energy is a bit better today too. I just have to make sure I don't overdo it again!

I hope everyone has a great deviation free week!

<3 STSK

Bucklebunny · #12 16-08-2016, 14:23

Hey STSK - 4.5kgs is fantastic in 2 weeks , just awesome.
Nothing like a number like that to motivate you further.
The health benefits that come with weight loss are critical and come next year you will be ready for a new bundle of joy

StrongerThanSheKnows · #13 17-08-2016, 08:57

Thanks BB! Yes it is definitely pushing me to stick to my program like GLUE!

We have a b-day party for a friend this weekend and it will be a challenge but I will bring my meal and snacks and it will be fine. I'm starting to have more confidence in myself! Hooray!

mesmer_eyes · #14 17-08-2016, 20:02

wow 4.5kgs in 2wks? awesome results! really. congrats and keep going!

StrongerThanSheKnows · #15 23-08-2016, 04:52

Thanks Mesmer! You too!!

This weekend was great. Had some really nice family time and the birthday party with friends too. I brought my meal and snacks. One thing I have to complain about though....
It was a place where you pay by the person, not by what you order. I had a diet coke (and the Cohen's meal I brought). Everyone else ate tons and drank tons too. Now I get that I had to pay for my spot at the table, but despite knowing that I wasn't drinking nor eating with them the group charged me an extra 20 USD for the drinks at the table.....So I paid $50 USD for a diet coke! SO IRRITATED WITH THAT!

Anyway, I stayed on my plan and that felt ridiculously good. I am proud of myself. And you know what? It really wasn't that hard. In fact everyone else was so into their own drinks and food that no one really noticed what I was doing. It's so funny how we worry that its going to bother other people. They don't care, lol.

I really appreciate all the advice on Mesmer's thread about my trip too. I am so grateful to have the wise words of everyone's experience. Winter boots made such a good point...my trip is not about what I eat, its about having the time with my husband. I just need to cherish that and stick to my plan so I can feel good about myself and my progress and take that worry out of the equation. I feel so empowered by the strength of this group, I can do this. Like all of us have done it before.

Thanks guys!

Bucklebunny · #16 23-08-2016, 11:31

That's outrageous that you had to pay so much !! Just out of interest how did you bring your own food into the restaurant? Did you just bring in a container and eat from it at the table? Sorry but Im facing this in a couple of weeks and just wanted to know how you pulled it off .
Sounds like you are very focused and on your way to the new you !!

StrongerThanSheKnows · #17 24-08-2016, 05:04

Hi BB! Yeah, thank you for commiserating with me! LOL!

I find that it is really easy to bring in my own food to most restaurants. I don't go by myself, so someone is always ordering. Usually with my husband I just say we are splitting something and I need an extra plate. Then I put my food in a no leak container and throw it in my big purse and bring it in. I haven't had anyone ever notice even that my food doesn't actually look like what my husband ordered, HA!
If I go without him to "cover" for me, I just politely tell the waiter that my doctor has me on an extremely strict diet so I had to bring in my own food. Sometimes, I'll order something to go for my husband if I feel like they might make a fuss.
One time (first time I did the diet) my friend wanted to go to this ridiculously fancy steak house for her birthday party. I called ahead and they made a stink. Said I couldn't bring my own food and that they would make me something that would adhere to the diet. That was really annoying, expensive, and I don't think they actually followed the plan either.
I just bring my food now, and figure the waiter who is still getting customers and tips, won't complain.

BTW- now they make these cool thermos containers that you fill with boiling water for 5 minutes, dump it, and then put in your warmed up food, they keep your food hot for 5 hours. I love them and use them every day for work.

Good luck BB, I hope my novel of an explanation is helpful.

StrongerThanSheKnows · #18 24-08-2016, 08:21

Okay today is tough. Just a normal day, but I am sooooo tired and hungry! I feel like I'll have a great few days and then BAM! I'm exhausted.
And today is the first time I've been ravenously hungry. Like, had to leave the library because someone eating a snack was too distracting for me to focus. Not sure what's going on. Everything has just been cruising like normal and then all of the sudden, out of nowhere, HUNGER! Ugh!
And then, last night I slept 9 hours, it was great, but why am I still tired? I have a ton of stuff to do and need to prep meals but all I want to do is nap. So annoying.
Anyone else dealing with this?

Bucklebunny · #19 25-08-2016, 13:14

My levels of fatigue fluctuate a lot, some weeks I'm great, other not so... I've committed daily to taking a vitamin supp which previously was only taking spasmodically. I think it's helping.

mesmer_eyes · #20 25-08-2016, 15:26

Hi! I also bring my food with me to restaurants but I always make sure I go with someone. So far I haven't encountered being charged for eating in the resto with my food. I would have thrown a fit if I have to (I want to speak to your supervisor! hahaha) Im not the type who would throw a fit, but I would have made sure to stress out that the reason why I have my food is because of doctor's orders.

I usually let other people order first, and then I say that I have my food with me. I have a feeling that helps because the waiter may feel the risk of losing the business if he says not possible (or will charge extra) and we will all leave to go to another restaurant that will allow me to have my food.

As for the fatigue and sleep, I had that before, and I just welcomed it. If I felt sleepy, I just slept and slept until I am energized. Maybe your body needs it? The unexpected hunger, we all can relate to that and really makes you wonder why. Maybe the body or mind has caught on that you are not feeding it the same way before and its like "hey! where's my junk?!"

Seems like you are doing great.. keep on going!