Today I am SAD

[Bree]

I am not doing this for any form of sympathy, more to stop the demons from getting to me!

My mum is unwell, she is in ICU.
I feel lost, useless and sad. My brain is telling me it's okay you are stressed - have the naughty food, but I know better than that - so why why why do I still feel the urge to eat my sorrows away, is it because this is the only thing that I can control right now.

I will not cave in, for I do not want to be fat, I sure dont want to detox AGAIN - those headaches hurt, I will be strong. In 15 -20 years do I want to be in ICU or worse......NO!

I want to see my babies grow up and have their own babies for that warms my heart.

Everything will be okay - I need to stay strong. Perhaps another coke zero or coffee will hit the spot I don't need food blocking my emotions. The universe is powerful, hhhheeellloooo mr or mrs universe I am putting it out here for you.........I don't want to be fat or sad...............fix my mummy please......

oh and another thing...something I learnt from Lady GAGA (of all people) "i'm on the edge of glory.....and i'm hanging on a moment of truth"

[Myf]

sorry to hear that your mum is not well. Those thoughts can be hard to stop but think how happy you will be when you get to the end of today knowing that when the pressure was on you had the strength to stay true to yourself. Another obsticle overcome.
Goodluck and hope things turn out ok.

[Karol1]

Sorry to hear your are going to a rough time. I can so relate to wanting to escape with food but you need to know that everything will work out and that out of every negative situation something good has to happen.

I had to face reality that I choose the direction of my life and what I put into my mouth and the way I choose to think about life and what is going on good or bad. I can no longer blame the world and/or my husband/work family for weight. Where I am right now in my life is a result of what and how I have thought yesterday and the day before ... Today I choose to think positive and on the good things and know out of each negative situation something good has to happen.

I hope that helps.

[ERYNNE]

Hey Bree, oh i am so sorry your sad, and that your mum is not well. I am sad with you, have had a horrid day with my teenagers and i feel quite used and abused so to speak.I am away on hols and in the middle of a winter blizzard and cold snap, suffering with needing more food to help keep warm and my emotions are all over the world so to speak.
So to you i send hugs and support and i so do hope you mum will be ok. It makes me think my troubles are nothing.

Be strong, and i am with you, those headaches hurt terribly so keep that at the forefront to deter you.

Take care special lady

[Embee]

Sorry to hear about your mum Bree... hope she is doing better and that you are ok too... I guess finding other things besides food to help comfort us through the tough times is a challenge we all face. Even making it through a crisis without deviating or relying on food as a crutch is enough to make us feel good about ourselves!
So hang in there and stay true to yourself!

[Bree]

Thanks guys your kind words mean the world to me <3 she has taken a turn for the worse so all we can do is hope, pray, wish etc.
On a positive note, I have stayed true to myself and my plan and I will keep trying to!

So to you all I say this 'tell the people u cherish how much they truly mean to u while u can'

[beijingpal]

Hi Bree

I said a prayer for your mom today. I pray that you have the strength and courage to face your crosses.

We are with you all the way.

Beijingpal

[twoboys]

Well done. Staying strong at a time of such stress and heartache is an amazing effort - and I'm sure is exactly what your mum wants you to do. Thinking of you Bree.

Cath

[bells25]

Hi Bree,

Your words have struck a chord with me.

I will pray for you to find the strength to face and deal with this difficult and sad situation. I will also pray for your mum.

Thinking of you hon,

Bells xx

[ERYNNE]

Bree, your in my prayers and thoughts. Hoping she turns that corner. Heads up

[Noddy]

Bree
I have been thinking about you today, I hope your mum has the strength to turn the corner, it must be an extremely tough time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
xx

[Bree]

You know what I have found today, icu waiting rooms do not have microwaves - stupid really (not the part about not having them) but me not even thinking about how I would cook my meal! Lesson learned, no meals that require heating tomorrow!
Thank u all for the thoughts and prayers <3 mum flicked her eyes when I spoke to her tonight,better than earlier today.

[linc]

((HUGS)) Bree. Thinking of you....

[butterflydreamin]

Thinking of you Bree and hoping that your mum continues to respond to you.

You should be proud of the fact that you have stayed to the program with the stress that you must be under.

Take care

Butterfly xx

[chillichic]

Thinking of you Bree at this difficult time.Thoughts and prayers for your mum, you and your family.
HuGZ from across the pacific.

Gaylene x

[Noddy]

Hi Bree I was just thinking of you. I hope your mum has continued to improve. xx

[chillichic]

I Bree i hope all is well..Just dropping in.
Go well
Gaylene

[Bree]

Hi all - great news my mum has improved again they removed the tubes for breathing today, she remains on dialysis in ICU - fingers crossed things keep going the way they are.

So over this past week I have strayed from my perscription, some days I have not eaten at all, nor have I had enough sleep or water, stress is an amazing thing. I have also eaten un weighed foods and eaten off the perscription, why am I telling you all, well because in order for me to heal I need to talk about the damage- and I am okay with the damage of eating, I was well aware of what I was doing I just couldn't weigh or even eat on some days!

Tomorrow is a new day, and with that new day come the tasks to cook and freeze meals again (because I have used up my supply) they have really helped me on the days when I could eat - which to be honest was last night and another night - the rest were heated and thrown away!

Remember to always tell the ones you cherish how much they mean to you before it is too late.

One last thing, to those of you that have prayed, or even thought of my family during this time, thank you from the bottom of my heart

[bells25]

Oh Bree,

That is wonderful news. I will continue to pray for your family and your mum as she regains her strength.

And just be kind to yourself.....this is an incredibly tough time for you, so just hang in there.

Good for you for using tomorrow to cook and freeze so you will be prepared for when you are ready to 'jump back on the bus'!

Hugs to you,

Bells xx

[chillichic]

Thats fantastic news Bree.Lets hope things continue to improve for your mum.
First things first..You take care of yourself and then worry about Cohens..Its a tough time you are going through and i imagine it has been difficult to be regimented.
Go well Bree and just do the best you can.
Gaylene