Faithy's Diary

[meagain]

Faithy,

Mmm, well stripping away our insulation can feel like we've stripped our security and it can be scary.

Now, when people are nice to me I sometimes find myself thinking 'you feel sorry for me' (Mindset - I am still fat), or 'would you have been nice to me when I was fat?" (mindset - I don't deserve people to be nice to me). Maybe that's related to your issue?

In December, we where at a fun park, you know with water slides, I had gone off with our little girl and my husband was with our son, we were meeting up in the middle of the park to go out the entrance. I waited for my husband in the shade, he went over to an area a little bit away from where we agreed to meet. We were about 300 -500 metres apart. I was looking at him, waiting for him to come over. I could see him getting a little tense, because he thought I was keeping him waiting. I waved and waved, waited - no response. He looked over about five times, right past me, looked at me. I could see him getting angrier and angrier, I was late - again!- I then started yelling calling his name. I saw him scan me, tap his foot, talk to our son, scan again and then scan at our daughter's height, as I was still calling him (I wasn't going to lug all our stuff back to him, just cause he was being a nitwit), he looked at our daughter, recognised her, started looking really concerned as he scanned up my legs to my face. He didn't come over at this point.

I am getting angrier and angrier, I thought he was ignoring me. And then I realised, he didn't recognise me. He was looking for 'his wife, the mother of his children'. He knew her as a woman that would never stand there in her bathers - she'd be in a huge Tshirt and board shirts. She was, let's face it, a fattie. The woman standing there with his daughter was getting oggled by men behind her. I told our daughter to run over to Daddy and get him to come over.

You have no idea the angst that incident caused in our house*, 1st because I thought he was ignoring me, and 2nd because then I realised - he just didn't recognise me. I am carrying on about 'how I haven't changed that much, and couldn't you recognise your wife!! .... poor fella didn't have an answer. To be honest, I didn't know whether to be pleased or peeved.

* On second thoughts, maybe you do!!

Sorry - shouldn't have hijacked your diary.