The Deliberate Saboteur vs The Loving Saboteur!

[Andie27]

I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now and I really need some guidance from forum members about how I might be able to deal with a few conundrums I'm dealing with even after my rant on 'The Special Occasion Trap'. BTW, thanks for letting me do that, I needed it! Anyway, please allow me to elaborate.

Here I am right, cruising along, 'gettin with the program' and going great guns despite some really challenging situations (see my diary). I'm losing weight, am deviation free, loving myself sick and generally kickin butt! Then - BAM! In strolls 'The Loving Saboteur'! But before I get to them, there is someone that needs to be discussed first and that is, the 'Deliberate Saboteur'.

A 'Saboteur' is a person who makes a mess of a situation on purpose; a person who engages in sabotage - you guys are smart, you get it.

So anyway, I have a 'Deliberate Saboteur', yes I have discovered that there are people out there who are deliberately out to sabotage my Cohen's journey, I have no idea why and it's hard to believe, I know - but they are closer than I thought.

For example, one of my friends - whom I thought was a very supportive friend - always brings chocolate and red wine every single time she visits (practically once a week) and despite my numerous attempts to discuss my program with her about what I can and can't have - it's like I'm talking to a brick wall and my words fall on deaf ears! She still comes round with chocolate and wine without fail and thanks to my willpower muscles, she ends up drinking all the wine and eating all the chocolate - but it's killing me! I'm getting better at being strong in social situations (especially after my "Special Occasion Trap' rant), but to be constantly bombarded every week by someone I thought had my back is slowly breaking my heart.

Conundrum #1: How do I deal with the 'Deliberate Saboteur', ending my friendship after so many years is not an option?

This brings me to the 'Loving Saboteur', in my experience, there are more than one and they are an important part of my main support network. They have my back, they encourage me every chance they get and they are the first to celebrate my successes! My concern is the way in which my 'loving saboteur's' prefer to celebrate with me!

Now whilst this is a great thing for my motivation and thumbs up to them all for meaning well, but nine times out of ten, these loving diversionary artists always want to celebrate with food and wine. The subtle difference between these two is that the 'Loving Saboteur' strongly believes and supports the benefits of my program however, they also believe that one deviation won't hurt and that I actually deserve the deviation whereas, the other just plain ignores the whole part of me being on Cohen's and doesn't give a rats proverbial about the 'Golden Rules'.

Anyway, my loving saboteurs actually believe that a 'fall off the wagon' so to speak is an actual reward for my efforts. Despite my attempts to convince the loving saboteurs that even the smallest deviation can set me back a week or even 2 weeks, not to mention the other side effects, they are still suggesting food and wine as a way to celebrate. Even though they still want to celebrate my success and I'm running out of ideas and excuses to not celebrate with a food and wine deviation.

Conundrum #2: How do I have this conversation with my loving saboteurs in a kind way and can I get some suggestions on what other people have found to be family orientated, non-food related, alternative ways to celebrate my success?

Thanks in advance!