|
|
|
|
|
|
#41
28-02-2009, 00:15
|
||||
|
||||
starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.1 kg change from yesterday: -200g change from day 1: -1500g Breakfast-yogurt, apple Snack - orange Lunch-fish allowance+extra, Veg allowance + extra, 1 slice of bread, 100g banana Snack - apple,1 slice bread Dinner - chicken+extra, veg allowance + extra, 1 slice of bread, plums extra: 3rd slice of bread Another day another little drop...I must say I didnt like banana so much and will drop it out. I tried to change meals a little - yogurt in the morning, but that left me even hungrier, so I will switch back to fish in the morning tomorrow. Honestly - I miss my ricecake in my yogurt, so I might go back to ricecake for a day or two. This bread is still not exactly what I like to eat... But all the bread I do want was a no no from my consulant. I had an amazing talk with my brother (God bless the man that invented Skype!!!!!) and it was just sooooooo good... he's in business and not often do we play on the same string...He was on TV and I was able to see it on internet...kind of worried he would slip in the whole "business yapi, emotionless world, where all it matters is money..." so I wrote him how proud I am he is NOT like that...that opened him and he confessed he's afraid he's falling into it... I knew that if I said I was worried, he would deny it and there would be no chance to open talk about it... but since I praised him, he's not like everybody else, he felt safe and wanted to open about it... so it was nice. We finally spoke about my self conciousness through my childhood, too,... why am I away from home right now - as dealing with my past is somehow easier when I'm away from the source... and he was shocked to hear what everything I went through in the past (I told him 1/30000 of everything), but it was too much for him anyway. We shared some of the things from childhood we were both shocked at (like - he told me how very scared he was of reading in public, cuz he wasn't good at it...he's older, but my dad made us compete in reading, timed us who reads faster and better in front of our friends...HOW HUMILIATING for my brother to be worse than his younger sister who did nothing but learn, read and write!!! No wonder it was his nightmare, no wonder I hate competing, because I always have to win...- and things like that...Poor brother. Now he's great in front of public. ) Working on the boat as I did for 5 years kind of isolates you from friends, you become different, not many europeans could accept that different thinking that someone dares to fly far away and have a job to dream about...and I did love it, but just for so much time... So, he finally said he would never dare to do sth like that and that he only wishes he had more courage and not be stuck in that frame most of people are caught in right now...mostly with bad jobs, now the economy is bad...so people are struggling... But most of all - when I told him I love him, he said - he does, too. Now, remember - we don't say we love each other, it's just not the culture. Unfortunately we don't express it like that. But, in the end he said - Bye my beautiful sister. (I always felt I was ugly and not worthy and when we were kids, I would have to stand 2 meters away from him (on a bus station), so no one would think I was his girlfriend...  )That made me cry big time. He told me I was beautiful  !!!And I really did feel great afterwards, just tired - but GOOD tired, as ...like another layer of past got taken off and blown in the wind...ready for some new, good impressions. Just nice to be accepted by your family again...  Mette, my dear.. The walks in the nature are the meetings I have with myself. Just A MUST. Specially before 6 am, when everything is still sleeping, the air is still so empty... I get so many answers and any knots in my head just loosen up and get solved quicker. I hope you will like it... Maria, beautiful Maria...Thank you about the magnesium, I have been taking some, yes... I had two good nights now, so I'm happy. About maintnence...well, I'm also kind of worried, you know, I'm trying to take a positive attitude, but since I had such a terrible end the last time - I'm trying to take it as a learned lesson and not lost lesson... I think I will make a list of meals I will enjoy without feeling deprived or measuring or that would remind me on Cohen's meals (like, sardines salad, I will use parmigano cheese on everything (just for the taste), stews, ...things without too many carbs... just to get the confidence, while also working with my coach about the things my body needs to be healthy. Vee, yes I had a drop, but it will probably go up again... I read somewhere that after you mix proteins hardly anyone loses anything anymore, more like kind of..gaining... I'm still spreading all the veggies and protein in same ratio (half for breakfast half for dinner), as my consultant suggested - to keep the balanced meals. And yes, I do get hungry, mostly in the end of the day. I was full yesterday after the banana - somehow it didnt do good to me, so I will now have strawberries or pear. Hexi, I am trying to have old and good fruit in the first part of the day and then sweet fruits with lunch (had banana in a big meal with bread and after protein). But it wasnt so yumm anyway, so I will drop it out. Too sweet... Well, the BMI calculators say 18.5 is underweight. But I will just keep on going - I'm still eating everything, so I'm sure it will stop dropping soon. Jenny, hi! Welcome, thank you! Yes, I'm enjoying it more and this time I'm not teased by people eating "normal" food around me, so I'm not so eager to finally be able to jump on the food and not so desperately hungry and bored. I'm actually so busy I dont have time to read all the diaries... I will check on you more often, too!!!!!!!!! Thank you for coming!!!! Shell, thanks. From your mouth to God's ears. I am hoping to stay strong and not fall off... It will be interesting, specially the diving with my dad for almost 3 weeks on a boat far away...Ouch...
__________________
Last edited by Maya; 04-03-2009 at 13:11. 
|
|
#42
01-03-2009, 17:20
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hey beautiful girl! I'm so happy for you that you had such a good talk with your brother! Sounds like it was cathartic for you both! I recently resumed contact with my brother after 6 years of not talking - no big fallout, we just lost touch - and it means so much to have that kind of closeness with your family. I hope you guys will be able to support each other like that in the years to come!
Take care sweetness!
__________________
Started Cohens on 28/07/08 at 92 kilos and finished refeed 10/02/09 at 65 kilos - total loss: 27 kilos! 100% Cohens Challenge DEVIATION FREE:  X 13 and waterwise  x3No matter how hopeless and hard things seem, every day holds the potential of something wonderful happening
|
|
#43
03-03-2009, 20:27
|
||||
|
||||
|
Maya hello, I am so proud of you. Sounds like you are really working through issues now that wont hold you back this time in maintaince.
Its alot of work but you know what Maya that is what makes you so special and who you are.. You should be so proud of yourself and maintaince sounds to me this time you are treating it like a experiment and you will work out whats right for you. Coach is great to well done.. Im like you with bread at the best of times - Have my favourites like seeded ones and rye are my fav! Were they not allowed on refeed.. LOL see Im a curious little bee arent I? Anyhow you must be close now to maintaince??? Sorry most likely missed out the news of when and where.. Well thankyou so much always for your time and nice comments.. Makes me feel that little bit more surer of myself and its nice to feel people like yourself that dont find me looney for working it.. I do look into things a little too much but hey Ive waisted so much time in the learning process of experiencing what I have needed to in life that now I want to really start living.. Yay we are doing it arent we... Take care you!
__________________
My goals? To believe in myself totally and of course loose those unwanted kgs so I can be healthy on the inside and feel proud of myself on the outside!!!!
|
|
#44
04-03-2009, 13:10
|
||||
|
||||
|
Day 11 of 20 Friday 53.2 kg
starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.2 kg change from yesterday: +100g change from day 1: -1400g Breakfast-fish allowance+extra, veggies+extra Snack - orange Lunch-beef+extra, veg+extra, ricecake, pear Snack - apple, ricecake Dinner - yogurt, 150g strawberries, ricecake Day 12 of 20 Saturday 53.4 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.4 kg change from yesterday: +200g change from day 1: -1200g Breakfast-yogurt, orange, ricecake Snack - orange Lunch-fish allowance+extra+ new protein (sardines), Veg allowance + extra, ricecake, 150g straweberries Snack - apple Dinner - fish+extra+sardines, veg allowance, pear new: new protein Day 13 of 20 Sunday 53.0 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.0 kg change from yesterday: -400g change from day 1: -1600g Breakfast-chicken allowance+extra+new protein, veggie allowance +extra, ricecake, orange Snack - apple Lunch- chicken+extra, Veg allowance + extra, 50 g brown rice, ricecake, pear Snack - apple Dinner - egg, veggie allowance, ricecake, pear extra: 50 g carbs Day 14 Monday 53.6 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.6 kg change from yesterday: +600g change from day 1: -1000g Breakfast-yogurt, orange Lunch-fish allowance+extra+new fish (sadines), Veg allowance + extra+new veg, 1 slice of bread, 50g brown rice, 1 pear Snack - apple,ricecake Dinner - beef allowance+extra+new protein, veg allowance + extra+new veggies, 1 slice of bread, strawberries extra: new veggies Day 15 (of 20) Tuesday 53.0 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.0 kg change from yesterday: -600g change from day 1: -1600g Breakfast-fish allowance+extra+new protein, Veg allowance + extra+new veggies Snack - orange Lunch-, chicken allowance+extra, veg allowance+extra+new veggies, 50 g brown rice, 1 slice of bread, strawberries Snack - apple,1slice bread Dinner - yogurt+pear+ricecake The workshop was unbeliveable, just hard to even start describing, really. So much I have found out about myself...it was just a m a z i n g. The trip was very intense - got up at 3 am on Saturday, flight to SF, then workshop, eating all cold food while sneaking out at the right timings for my meals...it was raining and cold, I was freezing the whole time... Sunday the flight had huge delay so I came back around 3 am on Monday, had 4 hour sleep (as you can see on the weight gain the next day)... Catching up with work here, getting some more offers for translations from the first company (Discovery) YEEEEEAH! and kind of getting things together, leaving next week already... Just wanted to catch up with my diary here... So far I am stuffed with this food and can't wait to be done, somehow. And start really eating the food my body needs. The amounts are big, but...I just feel I need different food then this... and defenitely tired of timings (my consultant said 5 hour rule through whole program) - so far it's good, am down 1.6 kg and 5 days of refeed to go! I am enjoying all the food, except the bread - I really like what ricecake does to the yogurt... mmmm... Mette, yes - it was sooo nice to talk to my brother! Actually I spoke to my parents yesterday, too and it was nice. Different. I made boundaries and kind of dont let anything too close to where it can hurt. Amazing, really. But just too much to descripe up here. I think people must be fed up with my phylosophying up here anyway... Maria, thank You for your comment... As I see you are just rocking, girl... Take every day of this path as a step closer to yourself...it really works magic!!! 
__________________
|
|
#45
04-03-2009, 21:01
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi Maya,
Wow, you go, girl !!! You are sounding so good !! And, thanks to you, I have another name to add to the list of "those that lose even more after Day 10" - here we go :- ....... ....... ....... Maya .......  Hehe - I wonder what the next five days will bring for you ?? (It's bound to be good though  )Rock on, mermaya, Hugs, Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed... And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!
|
|
#46
05-03-2009, 08:28
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oh there you are! I was considering sending out a search party!
So glad you enjoyed the workshop! And my god you are going great guns! I can't believe how much you've lost on refeed!  Keep up the great work, pretty lady!
__________________
Started Cohens on 28/07/08 at 92 kilos and finished refeed 10/02/09 at 65 kilos - total loss: 27 kilos! 100% Cohens Challenge DEVIATION FREE: X 13 and waterwise x3No matter how hopeless and hard things seem, every day holds the potential of something wonderful happening
|
|
#47
09-03-2009, 00:16
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hello!
I've been soo busy lately, no time for computer work... But today is my LAST REFEED DAY!!!!!! Yipiiii! It was kind of long, I must say and I am glad it's over. Looking forward having some different food, specially at different times - when I am hungry and not when the time is right. After the workshop so many things happened in my head that I am totally ready for NO MORE DIETS. I am getting to know my body more and more now. I'm still walking every morning - around 1 hour - which is my best time of the day. I am leaving California on Tuesday, back to Europe, back home to my doggies...my really really good friend is getting married 2 days after I get home, so it's all gonna be very crazy. Im travelling almost 2 days... I have been working on this nutrition course, almost done... so, everything good. Koh, you are cute!!!! Yes, this time refeed is very different... but still - there's nothing nicer for me than FREEDOM. I am not enjoying this kind of food anymore, to be honest - all this calculating is driving me a little crazy. Just this eating when I HAVE to is kind of... you know... I am sooo looking forward to be able to eat later in the morning and not so early, to be able to squeeze all my fruit (which I couldnt really do - 5 fruits 2.5 hours apart, I just failed to get it all organized this way) ... Mette - thanks for finding me!!!! You sweet little thing! Australia should CRY when you leave , even for a short time!!!!!! Maybe we will wanna keep you in Europe and not wanna let you go back??? Or maybe you will just have to be less cute?!?!?! HA!So these are my last days of refeed...I have been trying to eat everything, defenitely all the bad fruits, but couldnt simply couldnt get in all the old fruits, because the timing always got me. If I had orange in the morning, I not only got hungry, but it pushed my lunch further later, which killed the whole day then... So I mainly stick to defenitely having new fruits and try to have some old. I dont like strawberries, can you imagine that? I like oranges and apples much better. Oh, and my weight was still slowly dropping? Kind of going up and down, but can't really figure it out why up why down>...? This is the report: Day 16 (of 20) Wednesday 53.2 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.2 kg change from yesterday: +200g change from day 1: -1400g Breakfast-chicken+chick.thighs, Veg allowance + extra+new veggies Snack - orange Lunch- fish allowance+sardines, veg allowance+extra+new veggies, 50 g brown rice, 1 slice of bread with butter, strawberries Snack - apple,1slice bread Dinner - yogurt+pear+ricecake Day 17 (of 20) Thursday 53.3 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.3 kg change from yesterday: +100g change from day 1: -1300g Breakfast-fish+extra, Veg allowance + extra+new veggies Snack - (came back too late) Lunch- chicken allowance+chick.thighs, veg allowance+extra+new veggies, 50 g brown rice, 1 slice of bread, strawberries, 1 cookie Snack - apple,1slice bread Dinner - 1 egg, chick.thighs, veggie allowance+extra, ricecake w.butter, 1 pear Day 18 (of 20) Friday 52.8 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 52.8 kg change from yesterday: -500g change from day 1: -1800g Breakfast-fish+extra, Veg allowance + extra+new veggies Snack - (came back too late) Lunch- chicken allowance+chick.thighs, veg allowance+extra+new veggies, 50 g garbanzo beans, 1 slice of bread, strawberries, 1 cookie Snack - apple,1 slice bread Dinner - yogurt, pear, ricecake with butter Day 19 (of 20) Saturday 53.3 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 53.3 kg change from yesterday: +500g change from day 1: -1300g Breakfast-fish+extra, Veg allowance + extra+new veggies Snack Lunch- chicken allowance+chick.thighs, veg allowance+extra+new veggies, 50 g garbanzo beans, 1 slice of bread, pear, 1 cookie Snack - apple,1 slice bread Dinner - 1 egg, chick.thighs, veggie allowance+extra, bread w.butter, 1 pear Day 20 (of 20) Sunday 52.5 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 52.5 kg change from yesterday: -500g change from day 1: -2100g Breakfast- yogurt, orange, ricecake Snack - Lunch- chicken + extra, chicken thighs, veggies+ extra, 50 g brown rice, 1 piece of bread with butter, pear, cookie (YUMM!!!!!) Snack - apple Dinner -fish+extra, sardines, veggies+extra, 1 piece of bread, pear
__________________
Last edited by Maya; 09-03-2009 at 23:47.
|
|
#48
09-03-2009, 07:19
|
||||
|
||||
Hi!
Just want to say thanks for posting such a detailed refeed diary and it has been very helpful as I get close to refeed to read your entries.
You and I are similarly sized and that helps to compare. Congratulations, once again!!  Ms. Jiggles 
|
|
#49
09-03-2009, 11:11
|
||||
|
||||
|
CONGRATS MAYA
May you find the freedom from food, emotion and obsession! Goodluck and keep in contact! I'll be hanging around for a while longer I am sure lol...part of the furniture now
__________________
Heaviest to lightest - 117kg - 57.5kg (59.5kg) 2008 Cohen's Graduate (lost 37.9kg) finished @ 57.5kg 2010 Cohen's Graduate (lost 16kg) finished at 58kg Mind~body~spirit approach is my winning formula Goal 1: Under 80kg (done 4.5.13) Goal 2 - 75kg, Goal 3 Under 70kg, Goal 4 - normal BMI 65.8kg!! Goal 4 - final goal 65 - 62kg and start refeed 
|
|
#50
09-03-2009, 18:38
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi Mermaya,
Hey, welcome to FREEDOM !!  Good going girl !! And at your LOWEST point at the end of refeed too.... Just remember now...... Pink Panther Good work, darl, Hugs, Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed... And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!
|
|
#51
09-03-2009, 23:57
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hey, Ms. Jiggles!!!! Welcome!!!!!
Thank You Hexi, thank You Koh! Yes, Pink Panther, defenitely! I will NEVER forget that!!!!!! I can't really believe, this is it... And yes, I myself am AMAZED that I'm at the lowest with my weight, too??? END OF REFEED Monday March 9 2009 (-300 g from yesterday) 52.2 kg starting weight: 54.6 kg today's weight: 52.2 kg change from yesterday: -300g change from day 1: -2400g I had to change the ticker...eventually...I thought the weight will climb back up with refeed but it went down...so... What can I say? I am still not really believing I am here...I am not taking this as any end - this is just the beginning now for me. Of a new journey - new exploring what is certain craving trying to tell me.... I will take this as an oportunity. I will not look at this as a problem - food was only my tool - and now I will use it as a doorway to learn more about myself. I will test different foods now to see how my body reacts on them and what feels the best for me. I have a wonderful coach that has been checking my progress during refeed and now I'm gonna be adding more fat in my diet, because I simply know I need some healthy fat. With this weight right now I really look a little too thin. I know, I said I felt the best at 52 last year...but my eyes are not so shattered anymore and I do look a little thin, to be honest. I wanna be healthy, not thin pin. I will come back up here, defenitely. Maybe this week will be crazy, as I am leaving tomorrow back to Europe and have really crazy days ahead of me...but then I will defenitely post how I'm doing and check on my friends. It's almost 5am and I'm up to the hill, where my ladybirds make dreams come true... THANK YOU EVERYBODY THANK YOU WONDERFUL SOULS UP HERE FOR BEING WHO YOU ARE FOR EVERY NICE, KIND WORD, FOR READING MY CRAZY JOURNEY, FOR SHARING YOUR UPS AND DOWNS AND TEARS OF HAPPINESS AND SADNESS.... I could never have done this without you. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!
__________________
|
|
#52
10-03-2009, 11:20
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hey Gorgeous Maya!!
Congratulations on making it to the end. Now your real journey can begin. I hope you keep in touch and let us know how you are going and what is working for you! Thanks so much for your fantastic post in my maintenance diary. It really touched me! Have a safe trip back to Europe and big hugz of congratulations again!! Vee
|
|
#53
10-03-2009, 18:37
|
||||
|
||||
|
BTW Maya,
That was a -800g drop on your last day (you're only showing -500g) What a coup - to finish at your LOWEST !!! Enjoy Europe (family, dogs, etc.) and we'll see you back here when you can make it. Just don't be a stranger, or we'll have to contact Interpol  Koh
__________________
Just a big happy hushpuppy I haven't "done" Cohens - Asy knows me from way back - she invited me to "take a look" here - I did, loved it, and stayed... And me? I'm a tall skinny-ish bloke (BMI ~25.5) and have been this way forever, so I haven't faced (weight-wise) what you all have !!
|
|
#54
11-03-2009, 12:06
|
||||
|
||||
|
Beautiful, gorgeous girl! Take a bow, you have had a truly remarkable journey, and you have been such an inspiration! So so so so happy for you!
  As Koh said, don't be a stranger or we will have to contact Interpol! And I'll start searching for you myself when I get to Europe next week! Take good care, pretty lady, and have a great trip!
__________________
Started Cohens on 28/07/08 at 92 kilos and finished refeed 10/02/09 at 65 kilos - total loss: 27 kilos! 100% Cohens Challenge DEVIATION FREE: X 13 and waterwise x3No matter how hopeless and hard things seem, every day holds the potential of something wonderful happening
|
|
#55
11-03-2009, 22:47
|
||||
|
||||
|
congratulation Maya, thats fantastic. The very best of luck with maintenance
__________________
Louise
|
|
#56
12-03-2009, 08:09
|
||||
|
||||
|
maya your journey has been so amazing
its so inspirational (i think it also helps that your font is pink hehe) i hope i can have as good a time on refeed as you did, it seems you breezed through.. i also hope i lose weight on refeed like you did!!! i would love to end on my lowest weight like you. well well well done! you deserve it! now go celebrate with a tuna salad and some corn thins hehehe well done and enjoy europe xxxx
__________________
 philosophy: where there is hope there can be faith. where there is faith miracles can occur. "...the world won't end if you don't eat the cheesecake..." Geneen Roth
|
|
#57
13-03-2009, 18:33
|
||||
|
||||
|
Congratulations Maya look forward to your updates in maintaincel land.
Diddo to all that everyone has said. You being so open with your journey has been a definate inspiration... Maria
__________________
My goals? To believe in myself totally and of course loose those unwanted kgs so I can be healthy on the inside and feel proud of myself on the outside!!!!
|
 |
| Tags |
| land , maya , refeed |
|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| Ceburoo . . Welcome to re-feed land. | ceburoo | Completed Refeed Diaries | 60 | 04-12-2008 00:12 |
| House and Land Packages | fit girl | Off Topic Chit-Chat | 2 | 12-05-2008 13:41 |
Linear Mode
