HELP!! I am just not able to get started the second time around! :mad:

[firefox82]

Dear Friends,

I did my Cohens from April 2013 - Dec 2013, and lost 27 kgs (87-60). My goal weight was 56, however i was told i could do refeed at 60. I did that, and felt great.
And then came the slow slide back into my old habits. Fast forward 2 years later, today i again weigh 83 kgs.

I've tried to restart and go back on plan several times in the past few months, and I JUST CANT DO IT!!!
I dont know why. I was so strong the first time around, I barely deviated (except towards the very end)
Now, i cant do even one day properly on the plan. I'll be good the whole day, and just before i go to sleep I'll end up having something sugary or carbs.

I'm realizing my problem is more in my mind, and i dont know how to sort it out

None of my nice clothes fit, and i am back to looking crappy.
I want to get out of this rut.
As i write this, I've had 2 chocolate bars - full disclosure.

Everyday i tell myself, ok this is it, start today. But the more i slip, the more i feel this is never gonna happen again for me.

Worst part is, this kind of partial starting and stopping is piling on the weight quicker than if i just didnt diet. So for every 1 kg i lose being on plan, i put back on 1.5 once i start to deviate... and its devastating....

I guess i am feeling down in the dumps right now, and i probably need to slap myself in the face real hard and just get on with the program...

Thanks for listening...

[Andie27]

Hi Firefox,
You poor darling, don't stress out too much, you sound like you're very emotional at the moment and maybe using food as a quick fix to solving any emotional issues you might be having. I'm an emotional eater too and I understand where you're coming from. Only you can stop yourself from feeling this way and it is easier said than done I get that, but you can really do it.
Please don't slap yourself or harm yourself - instead hug yourself for taking the brave step to reach out and post your feelings on line. We are here to support each other afterall and putting yourself out there like that is inspiring.
You are worthy of being healthy, both in your body and your mind, accepting your past deviations and starting fresh is probably just what you need.
Don't stress out about the start and stop cycle and deviating with chocolate, we've all been there my dear and all it ever did was make me spiral into a negative head space.
If you really want this, then you will make an effort - but the timing has to be right for you. You could start by getting rid of all the chocolate etc (out of sight, out of mind) and buy the food that's on your plan, at least that way you're prepared and you have no temptations.
I hope you feel better soon.
Hugs
Andie

[firefox82]

Hi Andie,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I will take the plunge from today (again) and see how it goes.
I'll probably start a diary in here, to help with the accountability and get a ticker as well.

Thanks a ton once again!

[Andie27]

Anytime sweetheart. Take care and all the best.
Hugs
Andie

[Tes]

Hi Firefox

Its never easy to take the plunge and commit 100%. You have to really want this and get your head in the game. I have been where you are not with Cohens but having lost and put on - and I too couldnt do the same thing I had done before. For me the slog was weekly meetings I had to fit into my day. What is it about Cohens that you don't want to have to do - can you isolate that or is it just generally you aren't really ready to commit? I think the act of writing about this gives you a good framework to journal the stop starts and eventually you may decide you are bored with the trend? Not sure if asking you to think about what you dont want to do will help. It seems you know what you do want so perhaps there is something else you need to look at here to get moving forward. I wish you much luck on your start!! Have a great week.

[skinnytobe]

Hi Firefox. I'm in the same boat as you. Feel exactly the same way. You stole the words out of my mouth. I also did cohen April 2013 to Aug 2013 (69-53). Lost 16kg. And after 2 years picked it up again. Me and my husband want to try for a baby end of the year and I need to lose some weight. We need to stick together and just do it. So every time I want to cheat I'm going to think of you and all the others doing cohen that they are also suffering with me.. Let me know how it goes with you.

[AudreeS]

You have to be ready mentally first. I wanted to go back on plan but wasn't ready yet. I'm finally back on plan and today is day 3. You can do this!!

[coyotedc]

Hi Firefox 82.
I've been on the program for nearly 6 weeks. I'm mentally ready. I leave my husband this week. I've been with him for 24 years. Only the last 6 haven't been good. I've had temptation in front of me every day. For starters. ... Don't buy it.
The easiest thing for me was making a spreadsheet of all the things I'm allowed to have. I don't deviate from what's on that piece of paper. If i had a craving i drank more water. I think drinking water each time i started to crave for something has helped. I believe I've now made this a habit. ..So I've changed my habit. Also mentally. ..think about how bad you feel when you've eaten something you shouldn't. Do you really want to feel like that. You obviously have a lot of hurt you carry. ..i actually have a name for my hurt and pain... ********.
******** was a result of being molested, raped and beaten for several years as a child by a few men. Instead of allowing ******** rule my life i owned it. No woe is me attitude. As an adult i choose what happens to me. I have that control and no one else. I refuse my past be the dictator of my future. So what I'm saying is if you have ******** too, then own it. Don't let it control your future or your life. Only you can control your ********. Let it go. Past is the past.
Remember how you felt when you didn't have the weight you're carrying now. If you do pick up a chocolate bar, walk around the shop with it until you convince yourself you really don't need it. Then put it back.
Good luck
All the ***** has been edited. So the shortened term is BS.

[WhereAmI?]

HI Firefox- there are many of us that have done the same thing, beating ourselves up isn't the answer, for me I just had to get the head in the right place and I know why I couldn't commit all the other times before, I was stressed and using alcohol and food as a crutch to help deal with my situation. NOW I'm only 5 days in but I've come this far, I'm not going back, I'm wrestling with my head while I adjust but that's normal and if I'm honest, I can't really think of the last time I enjoyed any meal or alcohol, it was just me guzzling to focus on hating the fatty in me, then I didn't have to face my crappy relationship and money problems. Enough was enough though and I went and got my blood test and new program so I could lean on people and make sure I get this right because I remember last time- I was happy,cloth shopping was cheaper, I dealt with life so much better and I had confidence- I have to say though, I do wish people would stop making women feel like they are ugly and unworthy if they are overweight, its not fair, a lot of us let that impact how we lead our lives and we shouldn't. I want to love me, I want to be HEALTHY and not focus on being SKINNY, if I can't love me how can I love anyone else? So, Firefox, maybe if you look inside yourself, think about why you are eating now, remember how you felt before and ask yourself, 'do I love myself'?? Because if you do, you shouldn't feel bad about eating a chocolate bar or carrying extra weight, but, if you aren't happy, maybe ask yourself why you are eating what you are eating and maybe it will help you make the decision to start xo. I Hope to see your success story here just as I hope I can look back on my journey and celebrate getting the old me back!