My Journal of Determination

[Soleil]

Week 1 - Day 5 -0,8kg

Hardly slept last night, my son got a tummy bug, oh the joys. So whilst I was laying in my bed I started to feel infuriated, and that was a welcomed feeling. Exactly a year ago my journey ended when after having treated my entire family from various flus/tummy bugs, I got very sick myself and threw in the towel for the first time and that is how my year long yo-yo started.

Jessy, you wrote about lighting a fire in my belly and truly get angry with it all, yep I'm so there. I'm like give me the punch bag right now angry. Because there is absolutely, totally, no way, this is happening again! NO! Putting my foot down, recognising the upcoming danger zone and try, with everything I've learnt from my past mistakes, to choose the right option. Breathing in, breathing out, moving forward.

And then this morning I woke up to a super good loss albeit my poor sleep and I though yeah, bow bow . Soleil is slowly getting her bow back bow bow!!!!

[Tes]

Thats so great i think when you have to try help so many others you can lose sight of your own needs. You can look after you through this we are here to support you too

[Soleil]

Week 2 - Day 8 -0,1kg

One week done, brilliant!!
I'm feeling so much better compared to my first day, I've gained that happy bounce back in my step , I don't feel so tired and certainly not sluggish. I can't stop marvelling what a huge difference food makes in general wellbeing, not that it's difficult to understand but to actually feel it is just wow .

I've lost a few centimetres all over, again the most visible place being my face having had lost that buffiness. In terms of kg's lost, I've "only" lost 2,7kg. It's the smallest first week loss I've ever had hence the "only" but it's also been a very challenging and a stressful week, including getting our home ready for photos for selling purposes, couple that with a sick child and looking after another it's not exactly a walk in the park. This weekend I had to resort to a couple of more crackers and fruit to give me stamina moving boxes downstairs etc. otherwise I think I would have fainted. But I'm certainly not disappointed. My new mantra: Be kind to myself and just keep moving forward. My goal for this week was to reach 71kg, got to 71,3kg, my goal for next week is 69,5kg.

Soleil xx

[Tes]

2.7 is a massive drop where else but on Cohens. Sounds like you have a lot going on can you also double up on your multi vitamin? Good luck with house selling

T

[Soleil]

Week 3

Just a little update: I'm here, I'm here !

I've actually started to do things completely different to my previous attempts... first one is that I have stopped weighing myself on a daily/even weekly basis. And what a wonderfully liberating feeling this is, I find myself much more in tune with my body, really listening to myself and learning to understanding what triggers what. Considering how long my journey has been now, I think this is the best way for me to move forward. There are no more good days or bad days, no more being on Cohens on and off, no more getting there as fast as I can, crash and start again. Just living life, accepting that some days are harder than others and pushing thru... I'm really, really, really trying here

Clothes are starting to feel ok again, and I certainly love not looking so bloated, feeling sluggish is deffinately a thing in the past. The only complaint I have is a head ache that has lasted for a few days now, tension maybe (with house selling and all) or body screaming for some caffeine or more water not sure... All things considered I'm doing OK though

Soleil xx

[Andie27]

Nice one. My inner mantra is: healthy mind, healthy body!
You're awesome for adjusting so quickly 😊

[AZ1908]

Hi Soleil,

I only just noticed you are back. It's so lovely to see you again.

Sounds like you've got everything under control this time.

I'll keep an eye out and follow your journey

[mesmer_eyes]

Hi Soleil!

[trishieness]

Hi Soleil! Welcome back and may you have an amazing journey here in Cohen! Cheers!

[Soleil]

Yeah nah.... My previous plan of attack didn't work either... LOL!!!

I just read thru my entire diary, I'm exhausted.....

I've tried and tested a few ways of doing this now, I've now tried other weightloss methods as well and have learnt two things. Number one: Cohens IS the fastest way of loosing weight and number two is written on my prescription page of the program black on white, clear as the day; 'Any deviation from the quantities or instructions and you might just be wasting your time'. There it is. No truer words ever written...In my case I've wasted about a year and three months now, which means rather frankly that if I had just stuck to this the first time, I would have been done, dusted and finished a full year ago. One year. Yep.

Time for a REBOOT!!!!!!!

I don't want to face another summer feeling embarrassed about how I look, I really don't. Clearly what ever I'm trying to do here is not working because I'm not following the program, so I'll just try for 100%, again. I know THAT works. I can't allow myself days off the program because I never jump back onboard again, or oh I do (hello again), weeks later, back at square one.

In an effort to try to keep myself in focus I've gone and booked a family photography session to be held in four weeks time. I know if I just manage to keep myself in straight line, I'll still be carrying extra weight but will still be somewhat confident in those photos. Any deviations and those photos won't happen... But I really want the photos to happen because my little people are growing rapidly and before it's all too late I need to capture those sweet little faces together with their mum and dad.

And so I finish my diary entry with: 'Day 1- done....again.... Oh dear god... It's not easy, it is definately not easy...

Soleil xx

[Andie27]

Hi Soleil.
Have missed you around here!
Setting short term goals work for me too. I need something to work towards as motivation.
A photo shoot is something that I will definitely be looking into when I get my body back - as a reward too for my efforts.
I've still got a long way to go and am having some days where I just really struggle and I'm starting to feel cold all the time. I want to turn to food for comfort and warmth. It's very frustrating sometimes.
I'm at the half way mark and seem to be stuck at my current weight, might have to change things up a bit and be super vigilant and scrutinize everything before I eat it.
That sentence is in my booklet too and I can't help but feel guilty - it's the reminder I needed to get my head back in the game. Thank you. 😊
The end seems like such a long way away lately.
Anyway, it's great to have you back.
Hugs Andie

[Soleil]

Day 2

To be perfectly honest I feel a bit silly writing in my journal now as my journal is filled with endless day ones... but this is where I gather my thoughts and it's kind of feels like a reward when I get to write something down after a successful day...Hence if I have not been successful I disappear off the radar...

I usually escape the detox part but for yesterday and today I've had this really annoying headache, it kind of feels like a headache from dehydration but it's not since I'm having my 2 litres a day and that is already way more than I usually have so... detoxing it is then.

Yesterday I wrote about being back at square one, that's square one as in starting again but thankfully not in weight. I weighed 78.3kg in September and yesterday I was sitting at 73.7kg. Since the beginning of this year my weight has been between 71-74kg. I just wish I could stay strong to shift this 10kg and I'd be more than happy to be hovering around 61-64kg for the rest of my life....Not at 70 plus...

I've changed my goal weight from 60kg to 62kg to be at the upper range of my ideal weight. I just want to get to that point and then should I ever desire to go lower then maybe I could try with the good old exercise... I know what to do once I get there. It's this 'on-and-off-Cohen-program' what I need to get out off. This is what is contributing in me getting fatter because I remain so strong and then crash and the binge cycle of 'eating-everything-I-can-today-because-tomorrow-I-start-my-program-and-I-can't-have-this-anymore-so-better-enjoy-it-now' and then,well.. the tomorrow never arrives does it..., only many weeks later... I have never, ever, in my entire life eaten like that before, as in binge eating, and I'm sick and tired of it... I seriously need to stop that cycle now...

Oh dear god I just want to be done with this! Day two done, about eight weeks to go...

Soleil xx

[Iamdoingthis]

Soleil you can do this ☺ being so open and honest with yourself is the biggest commitment you can make to yourself and the best way to being successful! You are on your way to your goal ☺ looking forward to reading more on your journey. Please never forget you are never alone x

[Andie27]

Hi Soleil.
I agree with IADT. You can do this by changing the way you speak to yourself. Your diary is one way of doing that. So keep going, it really does help to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. Just give it time. I also agree that it is important to be honest with yourself, afterall you're doing this for you and no one else. You can be strong and make the necessary changes you just need to give yourself a push in the right direction. You don't have a lot of weight to lose and I reckon it will fall off you once you get into the swing of things and make the commitment to yourself. Keep updating your diary. I look forward to reading about your progress. If I can help you in anyway, please feel free to ask.
Hugs Andie

[Soleil]

Day 3

I just love the weekends! Today was an awesome sunny day spent at a birthday party and I was in control resisting all the temptations and I wasn't even bothered by a headache anymore

My worst days (I always find the first three days the absolute worst) are now successfully behind me and I should be ok to just keep on going for a couple of weeks now until I get to that 'bored-of-it' stage again. As I know that'll happen I'm trying to think ahead for strategies to combat that. So far no ideas but for now I'm just happy doing my victory dance for surviving the worst of it.

The feel good hormones have definitely kicked in

Soleil xx

[Soleil]

Day 5

I've written about it previously but I still can't stop marvelling how in just a matter of days the difference in energy levels changes so much. I feel so much better! I've had moments of dizzy spells and hunger (especially about an hour before scheduled eating time) but I'm surviving

Soleil xx

[Andie27]

Way to go Soleil. Hugs Andie

[WhereAmI?]

I'm only just starting out again too Soleil, I love reading these diaries, we can see we aren't alone in our battles 😀! It's going to keep getting better now, can't wait to read your success story!

[Soleil]

Day 7

For once lady luck is on my side. I've been super busy, time is just flying by and I haven't had too much time to think about food. So happy I'm doing this program right now, the extra energy has become handy and in general I'm feeling better about myself so I seem to cope with this busy time a lot better too. Yesterday we celebrated my husbands birthday and there is a chocolate cake in our fridge still. The best part is that it's doing nothing to me, no temptation what so ever. Seriously, eating that cake is the last thing I want to do now. I'm in a good place and hoping I'll stay there too. First measurements tomorrow, I can't wait to see the results

Soleil xx

[Soleil]

Day 8
My Week 1 results:

Breast: 104 -> 101 cm
Waist: 85 ->82cm
Hips:107 ->104,5cm
Thigh:65.5 -> 64cm
Weight: 73,7kg -> 70,7kg

Onwards and downwards again

Soleil xx