Journey to a New Me

[AZ1908]

I agree with Soleil!

[mesmer_eyes]

gosh! i love this forum!!! thanks ladies!!!!!! sending all my love from the desert (oops.. I almost spelled that with 2 "s" hahaha)

@Soleil: I am so glad you are back and on day 22 (is it?) amazing!! Thanks for checking in on me.. I have no intentions of giving up until I nail this one. I figured, if I dont give up on other people so easily, why must I give up on myself..? EVER! So here I am again

@Butterfly94: thanks for your post. Kind of relieved to read stories that outline the drawbacks or setbacks of this journey.

@BFW: Hello! Hello! yes, bruised (by looking at my FB trip photos :'( ) and dusted..

@Ciors: thank you.. *hugs back*

Our office is still up to its usual self.. cakes, chocolates, and the likes.. everyday.. Doesnt help.. On top of that, doesnt help when u have friends who like to braai every weekend.. or having guys around who eat like.. well.. guys! errrmmmm

EDay 1: Rinse and Repeat

This is getting silly.. 5th attempt.. whew. Why is it soooo difficult now????

I was not able to stay on the diet whilst on the trip, but man did I move a lot. We walked and walked, hiked and biked for almost a day for 4days. The weather was excellent!! sunny with a cool breeze.

When i came back to the desert, I got sick, but still went on with all the social plans and worked as Im supposed to be. I did not get any better. So I decided on Wednesday to just take the day off and try to recuperate somehow. Didnt happen, I got more sick that I had to take an off on Thursday and see the doctor. Right now, Im on a 7 day medication - antibiotics, paracetamols, anti allergy.

I am back to work on Sunday though, and back on my day 1

Somebody told me about this before, when I failed my third attempt:

"Rinse and repeat ma'am.. rinse and repeat."

So here I am, not stopping. But its kinda getting silly and not to mention tiring. But whose fault is that?

The day went well, I was so busy that I was not even able to finish my cracker and fruit allowance. However, I think my meals are too salty. Hmmm.

I still have the sniffles, still on medication, voice still sound a bit sick, but Im definitely better

All meals taken on time, vitamins too. Crackers, 1 fruit, 1 DC

Eday 1: DV free

[Soleil]

I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come let's finish this now, together!

Soleil xx

[Chew chew]

Well done ME for getting back on the bus. You can do this. You will be at goal before you know it.

Keep up the great work.

Chew Chew

[Soon2BSlim]

Well done ME for day 1! Here's to day 2 - just get through one more day ... one step at a time. Don't look at the big picture yet, take baby steps, one day at a time. Before you know it, you will have done a week and then 2 and feeling so good about yourself in your new body.

You can do this!

[mesmer_eyes]

@ Soleil: :* Im glad Im back too!! Yes, I will finish this!! We will finish this together... have you uploaded any progress photos yet?

@ Chew Chew: Im just thinking about the time it will take to reach there.. feels so lonnnnnnggg... but Im just thinking the time I started to take to get back on the bus and failed 4 times.. that was in June! 4months back! so I guess another 60days is not so long

@ Soon2BSlim: Im trying to do just that..need the mindset for it..

EDay 2: Holey Moley

Just felt like saying that. Im an anxious bunny.. Anxious to get there!

Several realizations today:

1) Oktoberfest is coming up - We are again the sponsor for this year and we are going to have agents night almost every night on the 2nd wk of Oct. For the Maifest, I was able to resist coz I was 60days on the plan. Im just wary about this time.. I will be 3wks in by then

2) If I do this right and straight, my 60th day will be 7days away from my trip back home. Its 2wks.. and trips back home are not really feasible for dieting-- clubbing, meeting up with friends and ex colleagues, a hen's night, a wedding, and more partying... And Im sure refeed is not just for 7days! Should I start refeed early, so I dont fall off or spiral?

Then I stopped, Im getting ahead of myself. I am not even through the 10 day detox period, nor the 1st wkend challenge.

Anyhoo, temptations for today:

1) 1 carrot cake for a colleague's birthday -- > said "No, thank you"
2) 2 big bowls of Lindt choco Balls --> said "Thank you", took 8pcs for the bf
3) 1 choco muffin and 1 apple muffin --> said "Thank you", took both for the bf

BF is gonna get fat if this continues on..

WEnt for movies, watched that Maze Runner.. Had to endure nachos and popcorn smell.. Had my dinner around 10pm. I just forgot about it.. The cinema was so cold that I needed to pee in the middle of the movie (thanks to the DC) but concentrated on holding it until the end of the movie!!! hahaha

All meals taken, vitamins, fruits and crackers too. 2 DCs

EDay 2: DV free.

[Soleil]

Well done! Second day done and dusted

Just get thru these first days, two weeks even, one day at a time, and then you will be in such a different place to worry about the other stuff. I'm going home at the end of October for almost two weeks as well and I wonder how that will go, I'm excited because I've calculated that I should be about 65kg then, but still 5kg off goal. There will be no way that I can keep 100% to plan then, but I'll try for 90% . I suppose the main thing is not to go overboard. I'll post some progress pics next week I think once I've reached the 4 Week mark

Keep strong, you can do this!!!

Soleil xx

[Soon2BSlim]

Well done ME! 2 days on Plan ... just one more day, you can do this! Those yummy foods will still be there when you're done and they don't even taste as nice as you imagine them to be. Come on day 3 You can do this!

Hoping for a temptation free day for you

[mesmer_eyes]

thanks for the constant check in ladies! It really does encourage me to keep on truckin! Plus, reading all your diaries, those who have gone past the 10day period and now celebrating all your gains through your losses, just keeps me motivated to stay on track!

I just cant wait! I cant wait to write about the good things to come, the good feelings, the Zone high, and all that comes with it.. Maybe I'll do my own Chandler victory dance..

I just cant wait! Im too excited!! (ok.. i think.. thats too much black coffee for the day... )

EDay 3: Eh?

Woke up, and gained +200gms

Why? No deviations whatsoever... Could it be:

1) the saltiness of my meals the past 2 days?
2) the medicines Im taking-- Augmentin, Neomol, Clarinase?
3) food measurements off? maybe??

What is it?! I am at 73 now.. I feel kind bloated... or was it my imagination?

Fudge it! I am still going to be on EP!

On other news, met with a friend for a DC.. haha I had a DC, she had her pulled pork for dinner and 2 beers. Had my dinner around 10:30

All meals taken on time, vitamins, fruits and crackers too. 3DCs

EDay 3: DV free

[AZ1908]

Hi M_E,

What's a DC?

[AZ1908]

Well done on the 3 days Dev Free. I am also 3 days Dev Free today - Yay!

[mesmer_eyes]

Hi AZ! Its Diet Coke or Diet Cola.

[Chew chew]

Hi ME,

Well done on being 3 days DV free. You know you can do this, 60 days will fly by.

I will be here cheering you on.

Chew Chew

[Soon2BSlim]

Well done ME! Don't be influenced by the daily fluctuations on the scales, it's quite normal. A slight gain could be anything, even TOM, but you will lose weight if you stick to your plan 100%. We are advised not to weigh daily for a good reason

[Soleil]

I'll be doing the Chandler victory dance with you when you're past your 10 days. Now just do it! Take one day at a time, and just do it. The super hard work of the beginning is so, so, so worth it once you're over it, you know it, so just one day at a time, one meal at a time, breath in, breath out and let's get this done, together! Come on, you can do this. Fight it! GO Mesmereyes GO! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(How's that for a motivational, kick in the bottom post hahahahahahahahahahah )

[mesmer_eyes]

CC, S2bS, AZ and Soleil: i dont see any reason why I should deviate now! Except hunger.. oh well.

Soleil.. that post sent me to Cohen-stratosphere! thanks for the 'kick' hahah

EDay 4: Hungry

Nothing much to report today.. Felt a crash in the afternoon and was hungry and close to having my polvorons.. I did everything I could not to deviate-- drank lots of water, coffee, DCs, got myself busy, but I felt so low and hungry!

Good thing, I made it out of the office without deviating and went for my last swimming class. After which, I visited a friend who rescues cats who had just saved 3 pure breed Himalayan kittens and mom from a breeder! Just went there for some kitty lovin! they are so so so cute and so soft!!

EDay 4: DV free

[AZ1908]

Another day down! You'll be in the zone sooner than you think.

[Soon2BSlim]

Well done ME! It sounds like you're in detox ... but this will pass and you'll be in the zone soon. Hang in there, it does get better. You're already doing well, keep up the good work.

[Scaling_Down]

HI ME.... I just read through your entire diary so that i could understand your journey thus far... I know (as much as any restarter out there) just how soul destroying and emotionally draining, restarting is! I think over the last 5months from when I got married, until now, I have had 5 months of Day 1's, so don't beat yourself up too much, we've all been there! I got to goal (for the millionth time) and did refeed, just before our wedding, then on honeymoon, I ended up gaining 7kg's in the course of 7 days!!! Okay, I admit that the food in Mauritius was INCREDIBLE and it was like a constant conveyer of food, all day everyday and all we did was EAT (besides normal honeymoon things hahahaha) but fast forward till today, I have gained an additional kg and all for what???? For food? For wanting what I cannot have? For trying to feel "normal"? I can tell you from personal experience that NOTHING in this world, absolutely no cake, chocolate, biscuit, or ANY meal will EVER taste as good as it feels to be at goal!!! There are NO words to describe that feeling, the pride, and damn it, the fact that you look out of this world INCREDIBLE, makes EVER "NO" and every hunger pain so worth it!
I am now on day 2 again, and yes it is not easy, and yes, I want to eat whatever everyone in the office eats an yes I wanna eat normal food with my hubby and son.... but MORE than that, I have given myself 8 weeks to drop these 8kg's before the Xmas season... I wanna be back in my bikini!!!! There is no food that I want MORE than my bikini... Once you get into the "mental zone" (read in my diary) nothing can stop you! Thereafter getting into the "physical zone" is just an added benefit!
Keep going and best of luck! We all in this, together, fighting each day TOGETHER!
xxx

[mesmer_eyes]

EDay 5-6: DV free
EDay 7: Went out with friends.. boom. fell off the wagon
EDay 8: Totally off the bus..

too numb to write right now..

that doesnt mean I am stopping. Im just gonna do a self check and re align my relevant W's (why, what, when, which, etc)

I was also approached to join a 60day fitness challenge. So I am rethinking my game plan.. I might say goodbye to this forum . The challenge is so tempting (the [grueling] physical aspect at the end ).. not to mention the grand prize.

question is: will I do it? bec it was proven that I was able to do these:

Eat Clean
Train Dirty

but separately.. there is no question if I CAN, but it is the WILL to do both TOGETHER

the trainer who approached me to join had seen me when I was at 102kgs, when I first started at the gym and he has seen my progress.. on how I toughed it out until I became a hard core gym junkie (which he did not approve of)

and he saw me lose all the weight with just the diet.

he is now asking, why not try combine both, NOW? am I really the "all or nothing" type? he said I should change that now real quick bec this is not feasible in the long run..

lots of thoughts in my head right now.. internalizations..

dooodeeeddooooo...