Blondetastics Diary

[blondetastic]

Been MIA for awhile. Had some upheavals for a number of weeks. Getting back on track now. Being here will help me stay accountable. Have put some positive things in place to make this as doable as possible.

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[Kristine..]

Hey Blondetastic

Same with me - but I have just come back from a glorious six weeks visiting relatives in UK and while that was a lot of fun it was also a lot of long, lazy pub lunches = 5 kilos!

How did that happen?

5 kilos = muffin tops

5 kilos = not cool!

So I shall be back on the Maintenance Wagon from Monday and aim to be able to fit into those nice post-Cohens clothes I bought for Summer 2017 - when I look at the outfit I wore for Christmas 2016 believe me when I say I cringe.

Let us support each other, one mouthful at a time

Nothing tastes as good as being slim feels so let us be about it!

Lotsa love
Kristine

[Tuti]

Hi Blondetastic,

Just had a read through your diary. Wow..what an incredible journey you have been on. I couldn't even imagine being able to stick to the eating plan as well as you have with so many ups and downs. Well done and only a couple of kilos to go!

(Some terrific posts in there too)

Cheers
Tuti

[blondetastic]

Hey Kristine and Tuti!! Thanks for visiting 😊 lol I wish it was just 2-5 kgs I put on. But headed in the right direction again so that's the main thing and I didn't undo all the hard work. A bit more to do to completely get my focus back but working on it. Looking forward to getting Wifi connected so I can get back on here on laptop then will post more often. Recently moved and it's taken a bit to get everything up and running.

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[blondetastic]

Okay being Monday and all haha it's time to pull my head in and start dealing with challenges face on. Going to attempt to post here every day this week to keep myself accountable.

Avoiding dealing with things and putting every thing else first before what I need is adding to my challenges. Sometimes I know its a deliberate attempt to avoid doing what I know I can do. It's kick myself up the butt time again. I can be back to where I was in no time if I take responsibility.

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[Kohinoor]

Hi BT,
I hear you !! Life can be quite like that.... and we are all human, and do silly stuff sometimes. One thought I had come across seemed to "Fit" with your words, and I wanted to share it. But, when I went looking for the saying I wanted to share, it was in amongst a heap of others and all had their own special message.


So, rather than choosing which to share, I thought I'd chuck in the lot - who knows which of these might have your light shine brighter today? And anyway, I felt the need to read 'em all anyway (and perhaps daily, with breakfast? )


Here we go - the one I was initially thinking of for you was #8 in this list:-



1. “Yesterday, you said tomorrow.” - Nike

2. “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, I’m possible!” - Audrey Hepburn

3. “You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.” - Jennifer Freeman

4. “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” - C.S. Lewis

5. “Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them - just find a different way to stand.” - Oprah Winfrey

6. “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
- Benjamin Franklin

7. “If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.” - Les Brown

8. "In the absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia, until we ultimately become enslaved by it" - Robert Heinlein - 1907-1988, Novelist and Screenwriter

9.“Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency. Hope should shove you out the door, because it will take everything you have to steer the future away from endless war, from the annihilation of the earth's treasures and the grinding down of the poor and marginal... To hope is to give yourself to the future - and that commitment to the future is what makes the present inhabitable.” - Rebecca Solnit

10. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength. - Corrie Ten Boom


I hope one or all of those adds a lumen or two to your day,


Koh

[harmony]

Originally Posted by blondetastic

Okay being Monday and all haha it's time to pull my head in and start dealing with challenges face on. Going to attempt to post here every day this week to keep myself accountable.

Avoiding dealing with things and putting every thing else first before what I need is adding to my challenges. Sometimes I know its a deliberate attempt to avoid doing what I know I can do. It's kick myself up the butt time again. I can be back to where I was in no time if I take responsibility.

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Hey BT, Yes you're just like me I like to reset every Monday and kick myself up the but also but remember you must have little treats to look forward to I am not only saying food

[Greeni]

Hi blondetastic

Not sure what happened I wrote a post here yesterday but it disappeared (or didn’t load)
Just wanted to say: great that you take action and that we’re here to cheer you on!

And I wanted to add to Koh’s collection of sayings one of my favourites:

‘Success is not never to fall but to rise up and try again after you fell’

So, let’s do it

[blondetastic]

I love that #8 quote Koh!! I know the more I have not just the end goal but the small goals clearly defined the more focused I am. And it's true. Life is a bit like that. If it wasn't everyone would have success smashing every single one of their goals every single time. I like the Oprah quote too. A lot in there!! Thanks Harmony and Greeni!! Its funny non good rewards were mentioned. I was giving a lot of thought to that this morning. And yes I firmly believe that qoute about success and failure. Each time I fall now its never as far as I have before and each time I come back stronger and with more understanding of myself.

Good day today. I have my dog with me finally. So that means WALKS! Eating is on track as far as WHAT I'm eating. Only part I'm not meeting requirements with is crackers. Not a huge amount more but not the 5 I'm meant to stick to. Still feel like I'm winning because it's not chocolate, icecream etc. Have gone back to black coffee. Mostly sticking to mince and veggies for lunch and chicken or fish and veggies for dinner. I have plain yogurt every morning regardless of whether I'm on EP or not because its a fave. I do enjoy eating these meals so its not a hardship. Went for 2 walks today too. Feeling so much more together already.

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[harmony]

Hey BT Nice to hear that you are feeling more upfull today most of the battle is won mentally and it seems that you are back on track

Sorry about my ignorance but I am quite new to this colen was wondering about the crackers you were talking about what type of crackers are these are they specially made for cohen please could you direct me to a photo?

Thanks

[blondetastic]

Thanks Harmony. The crackers are in the EP. Different allowed ones are specified. I use Premium. Will put up a pic later. They have different package sizing and even slightly different colour packets depending where they are purchased from. I think Saladas and Ryvitas are among the others allowed.

Didnt get a lot of sleep last night due to issues caused by someone else. THE biggest drain on me is having someone in my life who I have to explain what I feel is usually basic common sense stuff to. Its emotionally and physically exhausting. I'm trying hard to put boundaries in place but its a constant fight to keep them there. Lol on top of that my beautiful dog who is has just moved to my new place. She is awesome and good natured but has to be right next to me 24/7. Trying to keep boundaries in place with her too. No getting on my bed. Keep out of the bin. Stop eating snails etc etc. Think the universe is telling me I'm too much of a soft touch and need to be more disciplined 🤔🤔 one things for sure - sleep deprivation is not great for hunger or cravings. Keeping it in check though. Figured if I post this earlier knowing people will read it my determination to not cave is strengthened and I can come back and report I succeeded. A few more days and I should be not so reliant on outside reasons to stick with this. The best reasons come from inside.

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[Kohinoor]

Hi BT,
Good to hear you are fighting against the ol' "give in for a bit of peace" (at least, that's sort of what it sounds like....) Oh yeah, and I really like this bit:-

The best reasons come from inside.

I dunno if it might help, but do check out this post
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthr...806#post360806

I really liked creating that post way on back. We can often be held prisoners of that phrase if we let it happen - and sure, when we were 3-year-old, the words were said to us with love by a parent or significant other to have us learn a bit about "other people" and how we should treat them.


The problem is that those words can become a mantra used to beat us into submission when others attempt to control us. And, as you'll see in the post, there are times (often?) when we should be thinking more of ourselves than others.


Hope it helps - if not now, it might spark a few sputtering thoughts for later on when the timing is better ......

Koh

[blondetastic]

Thats a great link Koh. I checked out some of his other quotes. A lot of food for thought.
Happy to say I stayed strong. Didn't give in to non EP food. Not even milk in my coffee. Admittedly it's easier now the weather is decent.
The only thing that I'm making a problem - well 2 things and 1 is probably partly the cause of the other - not drinking enough water and eating too many crackers. Not major in terms of the general diet world but not on plan 100%. However I'm not beating myself up. I've cut out all the non EP food and that's staying consistent. And I've been back into walking. I feel a lot better mentally when I do walk. More like I'm in control of my life. I think thats key. And I feel that when I'm cooking the meals and when I'm cooking and freezing ahead. Small things but the sense of control is invaluable and necessary. Honestly the ability to choose and take that control is ALWAYS there but to FEEL like I have it I HAVE to make those right choices.

I'm feeling really happy with the progress I'm making and I'm just aiming for that right now over perfection.

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[harmony]

Originally Posted by harmony

Hey BT Nice to hear that you are feeling more upfull today most of the battle is won mentally and it seems that you are back on track

Sorry about my ignorance but I am quite new to this colen was wondering about the crackers you were talking about what type of crackers are these are they specially made for cohen please could you direct me to a photo?

Thanks

Thanks BT sorry to hear what you are going through we all have been there in the dark alone But I totally agree with Kohinoor, It is definitely not selfish to Love Yourself In the words of a song we all know the Greatest Love learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All. Yes if you suffer with insomnia and sleep deprivation does not help with food cravings and overeating so that will have to sort out anyway wish you well.

[blondetastic]

Thanks Harmony 😁 It's just finding a balance with most things in life really. And sticking to what I know is best for me. The 2 challenging parts to that for me anyway is when people attempt to make you feel guilty especially when its someone you're close to who has a knack for exaggeration getting off topic and a bit of victim attitude. But I'm in a position to not only call them out on it now but also reinforce boundaries. To them it comes across as me being controlling but it's honestly me just taking back what's fair. Takes time for people to get used to us changing. At least my dog is relatively easy 😅

EP wise things are going steady. Weight is headed back in the right direction. Main goal today is water!! Already walked the dog this morning. I'm feeling more in control of this every day.

Hoping this time next week Wifi will be up and running. Will make catching up with whats going on around the forum a lot easier.

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[blondetastic]

Finally got internet sorted. My life is never dull. Was informed on December 29 that on the first of January I would be required to work every day for at least a month. Now it's dragging out to next month, and it's exhausting. Means more money but less time. I am doing roughly 40 hours a week which is normal for a fulltime job, but spread out over 7 days. It's a lot of manual labour which is great for fitness. Being casual the rate is pretty good, and some days I have to only do 3 hours. On the days I have a shift on my normal job its an extra 2. The tricky part is it's always an afternoon job. It fits around my morning and night shifts, on afternoon shift I don't have to worry about it. The manual nature of it is keeping me very fit. A lot of days I'm hitting 15000 - 16000 steps on my fitbit, that includes walking my dog. And there is a lot of heavy lifting.

Being a bit hit and miss with eating. I am stuck between 80 and 82kgs. So I've decided to bite the bullet again and make the most of the extra activity. I cant go away, or do much outside of work, housework and looking after my dog, so I'm saving a lot of money, it's getting monotonous but its only for a period of time until they employ someone else to take over. So I may as well use this time and prioritize: eating properly, saving money and looking after myself. I had a stretch of a few days where I was hitting my goals with drinking water and eating properly and felt great then I caved and ate crap. Immediately I felt unwell and more tired. I definitely noticed it affected my performance at work so yeah it's worth it.

I keep making promises to be on here more. I know I need the support and the posts in so many sections of the forum are really encouraging and helpful. So it's time to pull my head out the sand and take advantage of what is a pretty awesome forum and a good bunch of people.

I'm back in size 14 jeans and they are comfortable now. They were a bit tight at the start of the year. Looking forward to getting back into 10-12s. I didn't put back on all the weight I lost last year. So that blows the theory out of the water for people who say they know people who have done this program and put all the weight back on and more. It IS entiirely possible to keep the weight off. Yeah Im not thrilled with 80 kgs and this is taking me forever and so often I feel like a failure, but I remember being stuck at 120 kgs for a long time because of messing around. Then I spent a couple of years stuck at 94kgs. Being stuck at 80 is so much better. And I'm not planning on being stuck there any more.

Looking back over the last 2 years I've been through constant upheavals and changes and every single one of them has been challenging and come with a lesson. I know I still am inclined to emotionally eat - not so much binge though that does happen occasionally (no where near as often as it used to) but just eating rubbish. And the other big challenge for me is tiredness. Just not being bothered to prep meals properly, eat on the run or snack even if it is just on the crackers. I am trying to prep meals ahead but I want to do that more consistently. It was easier when I had some days off but it just means when I get home from work and am doing tea do extra for the next night and lunches for a couple of days. When I start having days off again, I will freeze some for a few days ahead and for times when unexpected things come up like extra work.

Anyway, I'm going to keep accountable on here. I did really well last year, so I know I CAN do it. Just need to keep important things first. In some ways it's kind of easier now because I have to be more organized. So yeah take advantage of the situation and make it work for me.

[Kohinoor]

Yay for having Internet back again.
And a double Yay for keeping your head on straight over this whole thing.

Life has a way of testing us - by saying "Oh, you think you have it all sussed for now? Well, see how you go with THIS!!!"


Rock on BT,


Koh

[blondetastic]

Thanks Koh!! Your support is priceless. This is why I need to check in here regularly. I always feel like I'm catching up here on the run. I can make time but it's trying to read through other people's posts that I need to work on. Again my old excuse/reason - tiredness. Mental and physical exhaustion means not having enough focus to read the stack of books from the library borrowed and reborrowed for 2 months. No patience to sit through a video. Most days the tv isn't turned on. No point because within 5 minutes I'm falling asleep or zoning out. So next step is spend the time I can reading other people's posts. Maybe update mine once a week. I need the info insights and motivation from this site more than I need to post about my journey. And cheering on others is a great way to motivate myself. When things are chaotic simple eating reading other people's journeys and dog walking are what give me stability and some routine. I may not always comment on posts due tiredness - one day maybe science will develop a way we can commit thoughts to a screen and have it transmitted for us - lazy posting and commenting 😃 so I may not be "seen" in posts often but I will be here. Everyday. Until I can be a more active supporter of others.

In a good headspace now I have a plan and a couple days of straight and narrow eating and water and I'm seeing and feeling a difference. Thanks everyone who does post regularly - never doubt you are helping people out here!!

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[blondetastic]

Originally Posted by harmony

Hey BT, Yes you're just like me I like to reset every Monday and kick myself up the but also but remember you must have little treats to look forward to I am not only saying food

I'm weird I start random days. Depends on the headspace. Used to be a Monday start a diet person back in the day. Now it tends to fall on a Monday after a chaotic week if I get the house back in order by Sunday night. I think I learned if the headspace is right on a Thursday or Friday just do it. Waiting the weekend out adds to the damage. I think I more or less know on the day I reset if its going to be a half-assed attempt because when I commit I go 100% but even half-assed attempts are better than no attempt because its way less damage. But I prefer getting in that 100% zone long term. I have temptation everyday specially now with the extra work. Out of date stuff like chips and drinks are put aside for staff if they want it. I did score papi max this week but early January my boss and I spent 6 hours in the cool room refitting new shelving. She decided to put away a heap of flavoured milks that were going out of date in a couple of days. Temptation got the better of me given it was 38 degree days. Chucked them in the freezer and ate them frozen. I work pretty hard and often back 10 minutes here or there which isn't put in my time book. When I'm in the zone my thinking is healthy fit and looking good is a better reward than chemical ridden junk food. But hey I'm human sometimes haha. Our day shifts are hard because we often dont get time to eat for about 7 hours. And we are cooking food plus we have hot pies and pasties right where we are working all day. It can be killer. It's either a very physical job or a very mentally draining one. Did alright yesterday. Was up at 4.30am. Yoghurt at 6. Crackers and Apple about 9. The pies were tempting but I held out till 1.15 to eat EP lunch. Then back to work. The other thing is at night working till 11.30 pm. Pies get written off. So we can have one free. I need a non food related job lol. Just need to get into that zone long term.

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[blondetastic]

Hit the 70s again. Accomplished a couple of worthwhile things this month. Let's see what February brings.

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