SassyK's refeed diary

[honeybuns]

Hang in there Sassy!! You are my motivation on here

[Annabelle Joy]

Sassy, my consultant said when we were talking about refeed recently that if I was to deviate during refeed I would need to go back two days. This makes sense to me in your case. If you go back, you will be able to do yesterday properly and get the right reactions from your body to yesterday's foods.

AJ

[ConnieK..]

Hey Sassy,



Sorry it's so hard for you right now. You are doing well, you CAN do this hon.

I was told it was 1kg above refeed start weight.

Connie

[KyMMy]

I just picked up my refeed today! Gosh its complicated! Anyway Sassyk, hang in there, you can do thing - we can do this together....I spoke to my consultant about "stuffing up" and she did say to go back 2 days...hope this helps...hang in there!

[SassyK]

Day 7, 1 August 2008

Weight: 69.2kg (-0.8kg, +0.2kg on lowest weight)

Breakfast: Yoghurt + apple x 1 + cinnamon + crackers x 2
Snack: Crackers x 2 + 1/2 apple + orange
Lunch: Steak + salad
Snack: Crackers x 2 + 1/2 apple
Dinner: Chicken and cauliflower soup + crackers x 2 + 1/2 apple
Fluid: Water x 3.0L; Soft drink x 2.5L
Exercise: Morning ~ Run (6km/45 mins); Evening ~ Run (3km/20 mins), RPM (45 mins)

I managed to stay in control yesterday, so am feeling much, much better for it today. The impact that things like sugar and flour had on my body, even though it was a relatively small amount, was a big, important lesson for me yesterday. Thankfully, most of what I gained has gone again, and I'm feeling much better about refeed and my ability to handle situations going forward.

Thanks for the advice about going back two days Shell, AJ & Kymmy. I'm still not sure what to do. I think at this point I think I'll just keep going, and if my weight is up again tomorrow, I'll know that today was just a fluke, and I'll go back two days.

Given that, today I don't have to wait five hours between meals, so I can mix protein. Woo hoo!!! I can also have a piece of 'bad' fruit. Tomorrow my bread allowance increases to it's maximum... so I might have a piece. I'll see what the scales say, and how brave I'm feeling.

Thanks also Connie and Honeybuns for dropping in.

[SassyK]

The scales are up - way up. It's mainly because I didn't manage a social situation last night very well at all. Comments like "you don't need to lose any more", "live a little", people telling my how great I look, and feeling like I've finished, kind of went to my head and I allowed myself to eat some stuff I know full well I shouldn't.

Anyway, I've just spoken to my clinic and had a longish conversation about what to do. If I continue, I'm stabilising an imbalance, apparently, which obviously isn't good, and will increase the chances that I'll gain weight after refeed. Ideally, they said, I should go back on the program for a week or two, to restablise my hormonal imbalances. Unfortunately, the timing isn't so great, and I'm not prepared to be on the program or refeed while I'm away. The best solution we could come up with was to go back as far as I could on refeed, and still allow a couple of days at the end in case I gain again.

So, today is Day 4... again... it should be Day 8.

I'm not sure yet if I'll report in every day for a while. I think I might pick up again on Wednesday, my new Day 8 and take it from there.

Hope everyone is having a better day than I am.

[enough!]

Ahhhh Sassy
Im so sorry that all this is being difficult for you.
You will get there, of course, I just bet you feel like 'why now!!!"

sending you positive vibes through cyber space.
you're still a legend!!

Kate

[Kohinoor]

Hi Sassy,

Aw, big hugs - I really feel for you Sassy - it must be so hard to NOT "let go" in some situations.... but, as you know, this is the bit you really need to get right. This really is the home stretch where you don't want to trip...

Good on you though for checking it out - so back to Day 4 (sort of like being put in the naughty corner isn't it )

Hang tough, darl - you don't want to screw up your holiday, or a year's worth of hard work either. I KNOW you'll get through this, in that same indomitable way that you handled the plan.

Go girl - you'll win this yet - I just know it !!



Koh

[Jenniwren]

Hi Sasssyk,
Sorry to hear you are struggling on re-feed, I know
how hard it must be but remember you will be done
if you just stick to it for just a little while longer.
Maybe you can lock yourself up until re-feed is over
and you can just concentrate on what you need to
finish and then reward yourself with an outing with
your friends, maybe you can plan a party for the new
you, to celebrate your new life. I am going to be doing
that to say goodbye to 52.2 kilo's when I'm finished go
to the gym 3 times a week and basically live life.
My thoughts are with you, and a big hug too.
Cheers Jenni

[SassyK]

Thanks Jenni, Koh and Kate...

While I was thinking about why I'm screwing up so much lately, it occurred to me that I made a major blunder by telling people around me that I'd made it to goal. All that's happened since is that everyone has encouraged me to celebrate, ease up and do what they think is 'normal'.

For anyone out there who is getting close to refeed I advise you not to tell people when you reach goal. If anyone asks you if you've made it yet, tell them something like "almost... just two or three weeks and I think I'll be there".

The problem is that they don't understand refeed, no matter how you explain it to them. Like everyone else, they think that you diet, you reach your goal weight, you celebrate (with food and alcohol, of course!), then you try to keep it off. That's what happens on any other diet... so it's natural, I guess.

Anyway, I thought writing this down might help others out there avoid getting themselves into the situation I've been in this week, where I've had a lot of people around me encouraging me to relax and celebrate before I should.

Otherwise... today has been great. I haven't been hungry, I've been 100% on program for Day 4, and I'm feeling strong and determined.

[Almost Eden]

I have been getting a lot of that and then when you say your not out of the woods just yet they kinda look at you like your mad. Meanwhile...that might be one of the reasons that none of the other diets worked...you know...the hole ballooning phenominon after goal. We are on a winner with this one. Head down and bum up.

I'm off to bed. Big love honey and good luck on the refeed...bye bye

AE.

[macresco]

Hey Sassy,

I haven't been around much, but I wanted to let you know how great you're doing...despite the missteps, in the grand scheme of things, you're a superstar. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with refeed...it sound extrememly daunting to me...much harder than the actual plan.

Also, you're right about having told people you made your goal. It's not their fault...they're happy for you and want to celebrate in the only way they know how...food and drink. I've been having a hard time with people constantly wanting to know what I'm doing, how I'm losing, etc, but I've decided not to talk about it very much. Yes, we should be proud of ourselves (especially you!!), but I find that talk of losses leads to people wanting to feed you.

Best thoughts for an easy day for you today!

[honeybuns]

Hi Sassy,

Don't beat yourself up too much about it...head down, bum up girl and get the job done! I agree with you, we should celebrate when and only when we've finished and I will be doing just what you say when people say "Oh c'mon, just have a champers or a nice piece of cheesecake".... "Love to but I will take a raincheck for a couple more weeks!"

We went to my sons for dinner last night and I took my food while they all devoured pizza and wine...my daughter said to me in the car on the way home "Mum, I am so proud of you for not giving in...I've never seen you so determined!" Damn right!!! This is my last shot at it...if this doesn't work nothing will! So IT'S WORKING!!! I'm going to make sure of it!

And your story is my main inspiration Sassy...you've broken out of that 'fat' cocoon into a beautiful butterfly....knock em dead and just say NO!

[Kohinoor]

Hi Sassy,

Woohoo !! I knew it !!!! Didn't doubt for a minute that you would be back, bigger and brighter than ever.... You go girl

The problem is that they don't understand refeed, no matter how you explain it to them. Like everyone else, they think that you diet, you reach your goal weight, you celebrate (with food and alcohol, of course!), then you try to keep it off. That's what happens on any other diet... so it's natural, I guess.

Anyway, I thought writing this down might help others out there avoid getting themselves into the situation I've been in this week, where I've had a lot of people around me encouraging me to relax and celebrate before I should.

You are still a champ - and yep, THOSE WORDS need to be spread far and wide - I mean, if you've faced it, bet your boots there'll be others going to be in the same boat.... and they all need to know of it ahead of time.

Otherwise... today has been great. I haven't been hungry, I've been 100% on program for Day 4, and I'm feeling strong and determined

Rock on, darl, and claim that holiday POST refeed !!!

Koh

[FotoHijinx]

Hi Sassy

You are so right about how people react around you. They kind of freak out when I tell them that I still have 4 kgs to go - no way, do you dare lose any more weight blah blah blah. They so don't get it.

I'm going to take your advice on board and not tell them when I've reached goal weight, I'll tell them that I've reached refeed and how its the most important part of the diet I reckon.

Hang in there mate, it will work out for you - remember you deserve to look this good.

Cheers
Irene

[Annabelle Joy]

Thanks for that piece of advice, Sassy. I'll definitely remember that when I reach refeed. I guess it might help to think of refeed as part of the diet, where we have to try and stay at the same weight for three weeks.

I agree with Jenny, you're a superstar.

AJ

[KyMMy]

Hi Sassy,

Congrats on doing so well and getting back on the horse so to speak. I too, am struggling through my refeed like you. Its so close, but not close enough. People are doing exactly as you have said - they tell you you look fantastic and I shouldnt be loosing any more weight blah blah blah have a bit of wine or have some muffin - a little bit won't hurt. When I told them I'm still on my program for a few more weeks, they think I'm nuts.

Hang in there, because really it is just another 2 weeks....and we'll be "clear".

Keep going there Sassy, your diary has been a fantastic inspiration for me.

[lucylou]

Hi Sassy

Good on you for getting back on that horse. After such an incredible amount of weight gone I understand that it must be hard to stay away from those foods not on refeed.

I've been telling a lot of people that the diet I'm on is an elimination diet. (Eliminating fat that's for sure!) So that when I get to goal they know I'll be introducing other foods slowly and cautiously to see how certain foods affect me. That way it's more about the hormones than what I weigh. And that's true, having suffered from thyroid problems that's why I chose Cohens, it promised to balance my hormones. If there's a food that's going to stuff my hormones up again I want to know what it is and make sure I don't eat it again. But that's all ahead of me. You are doing great.

x

Loulou

[jeannie77]

Sassy

Hope you are getting through refeed ok this week. I am just taking each day one at a time. I am determined to get to refeed and finish what I have started.

I don't want to be a failure and I know you don't want to be one either. We are strong, confident women. We can do this.

We have to believe this

[SassyK]

Day 8, 6 August 2008

Weight: 71.2kg (+0.2kg, +2.2kg on lowest weight)

Breakfast: Yoghurt + fruit salad (good fruit ) + crackers
Snack: Apple + crackers
Lunch: Chilli, basil and ginger chicken + salad + veg soup
Snack: Celery sticks, banana
Dinner: Chicken schnitzel + cracker crumbs + cheese + cauliflower mash, grilled zucchini and tomato 'sauce' made with tomato, onion and balsalmic vinegar
Dessert: Pineapple (1/2 serve), mandarin (1/2 serve)
Fluid: Water x 3.25L Soft drink x 2.0L
Exercise: Run (7.5km/50 mins)

I've just repeated Days 4 - 7 after gaining 2.4kg overnight last Friday/Saturday. I was at a party, and had managed to avoid the food (by sitting with it out of my reach) all evening until about 11:30 when someone urged me to try one of the last of the soy and sesame pecans everyone had been raving about all night. I'm not sure why I decided it was OK, but I did try a little (about 1/4) of one... and that was my undoing. I then had a bit of what was left of the cheese, a cracker... then another cracker... I ended up eating about 5 crackers with cheese and a meatball pretty close to midnight, then went to bed feeling like a complete failure. I should have left after the first cracker, and removed myself from the situation. It does make me worry about how I'm going to cope after refeed when I'm surrounded by food. I need to develop some strategies for those situations....

I knew the scales would be up, but I could never have anticipated a 2.4kg gain. So, I'm back in the 70s, and I don't like it here at all. My weight has fluctuated quite a bit over the past few days... I got back down to 70.4kg on Monday, but was 71kg again yesterday, and am up again to 71.2kg today. It's been a bit of a roller-coaster! I'm determined to get back into the 60s and stay there, but I'm not sure it's going to happen on refeed, especially with the crazy amounts of food I have to consume.

Last night I went to bed completely stuffed. I felt a bit like Mr Creosote from Monty Python... This is something that worries me somewhat about refeed - you have to eat even though you might not be hungry. When I got home last night I was so incredibly full... before Cohens I would have not had dinner, or just had a piece of fruit or toast or something light like that. However, I still had to force down an entire meal, with EXTRA protein and vegetables. It just seems wrong somehow... eating when you're not hungry. At least it's only for a couple of weeks, so hopefully it won't become a habit.

The City to Surf is on Sunday, so I've ramped up my training, so I can have a couple of rest days before the event. I've run 25km in the past four days, and want to fit in another 15km by Friday. It's been intense! I had hoped the extra exercise might help get rid of the gain, but it doesn't appear to be helping... I'm grateful for the extra carbs with my running program though... I'm going to try out a banana and cracker about 2 hours before I go for a long run this afternoon.

It's only 15 more sleeps until I get on a plane to Turkey. My head is spinning with all the things I have to do before then. Getting through refeed unscathed is a very high priority. However, I also recognise that there's a good chance I'll be back on the program when I return, and this won't be the only time I go through it. If there is going to be a next time, I will be far more mentally prepared for it.

I've done a lot of thinking about how much I've struggled on refeed and what my life will be like afterwards over the past few days. I've already posted my thoughts on telling people when you've reached goal (my advice being not to, until you've made it through refeed). There are some psychological things I need to come to grips with as well, though... I'm not 'finished'... in fact I will probably never be 'finished'. I will have to follow the principles of the program for the rest of my life. I won't have the freedom to eat whatever I want and stay slim. I really should look into the counselling referral I got from my GP, but I won't have time until I get back from holidays.

Thanks for visiting AE, Macresco, Honeybuns, Koh, Irene, AJ, Kymmy, Loulou and Jeannie.

Irene ~ I wouldn't even tell people when you're starting refeed. If someone asks if you're still on your diet, just tell them you reckon you've got a couple more weeks to go.

Power on everyone...