T1's revolution road

[TeeWun]

Butterflywings do yourself a big favour and buy your own blood pressure monitor. I also have classic 'white coat hypertension', my BP goes through the roof if there's a doctor or nurse near me... so having the monitor at home means you can reassure yourself whenever you need to that your BP is normal (or not, but you can address it if its not). I used to use mine all the time when I first found out I had high BP, kept wondering if/when it was changing etc etc. Now it's in a really good range and I just take it every couple of months. I bought the wrist cuff kind from the pharmacy, it's an omicron brand. Works really easily and was well worth the money. Also, now I will keep an eye on my BP going into a low zone. It's highly likely to happen as this poor over-worked body is freed from carrying all that weight around.

Cold? I know, right, I have a hoodie on in the lounge room with the hood pulled up to keep my ears warm.... I look like nana-gangsta! Yeah, yeh, yeh....word!

[Relles]

Hey there T1!
Congrats on your results so far.. Well done!
Yep, you do go a little flat after a while on the plan. I suppose you need to see the steps along the way rather than looking off into the distance.
Make yourself some mini goals to tick of and take the journey a goal at a time.
You have made an awesome decision for yourself don't lose sight of the process along the way you will pick up some valuable lessons as you go.

Amazing result at the Dr, that's just so freaky!

Good luck

[TeeWun]

Thanks Relles, what you say is true, I had a couple of very 'flat' days. Feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't indulge the inner (and outer) spoiled brat that wants to run amok with my liver, my heart, my whole body...

Addiction is so fascinatingly manipulative, the way it twists our minds to rationalise and justify and bargain with our resolve to be strong. What an insidious conundrum, and one that is so incredibly supported in the world by our social/cultural food obsession... Most of the world's population is struggling to get anything to eat, while we in the west are collapsing under the sheer weight of our own fast-fed satiety. So wrong...

I have recently lost my mother and my brother in some very distressing circumstances, however since they have gone, I have also felt the breaking of an enormous chain that was wrapped around me - the one that scrutinised every visual representation of who I am, my weight, my age, my style or lack thereof, my successes, my failures, all of it combined to make an unbreakable icon of who they thought I was. Food politics was such a painful, damaging, controlling, spiteful, confusing and terrible weapon in my family.... and I am discovering daily, that if I am on Cohens program, I am free of it. It makes me feel safer in my core. If I do not succumb to my addictions, if I do not cook or eat to please others, if food is not my reason for being... I will succeed. I am starting to think like a recovering alcoholic... every day that I don't fall off the wagon is a day I have returned from a battle unscathed. (Luckily for me, I am allergic to alcohol and can't drink anyway).

So far my deviations have been contained within the range of the 'liveable' and I am moving on.My sleep patterns have been haywire due to hormonal fluctuations, sometimes I go to bed at dawn and sleep till lunchtime other times I am in bed at 8pm... so it's been weird to try and create a routine. I am a filmmaker, so my life is like that, doesn't conform to the usual 9 - 5 workaday clock.

Deviations - A few times I ate extra crackers, once I ate two fruits in one go, occasionally I didn't drink enough water, and I have eaten a few 'guestimated' portions. No excuses for this, mea culpa, but my scales don't work very well, they keep zeroing when I am weighing things and if I am weighing several portions at once and calculating 'splits' to freeze or refrigerate for the next day, I just get frustrated and end up guessing. I feel really naughty for doing that, and I have exploited this so I could eat slightly more chicken than I should have. Not a big amount more, just an extra piece or two. I have occasionally run out of items and had 2 x meal 2s but I have tried to weigh it according to plan. I see these things as teething problems, everyday I strive to be exact with the plan and in 3.5 weeks I have lost 8kgs, so it can't be messing up the chemistry too much.

In reading through the threads on deviation, I have come to my senses and I have just purchased some new scales in order to stop my bad habit of guessing - they will be here in a few days.

All in all, these first few weeks have provided an exceptionally important learning curve, and my lesson now is all about keeping up my vigilance against all the wolves at the door. (they're all mine I'm afraid) That one's called Shaggy, that black one is Devil, the White and grey one is Ravenous, oh and there's a few sly foxes and a wily coyote out there too!

'Go on', I say, 'howl away, I'm not listening!!'

[Cazspaz]

Hi TeeWun, thanks for sharing your story! We can all learn so much from each other's journey's it's great. I am glad to hear you ordered the new scales, that was a leak in your strength and resolve that you can now patch up and ensure you are truly buoyant and ready for the long journey ahead.

Most here have deviated at times and sometimes it's true - the small things can slip through without seeming to have too much of an effect but it does have an effect on our boundaries and our stability whilst on plan. The trick is always to not let deviations crush you, don't let them be a big deal, but don't let them slip in through the cracks either because they will wear you down eventually.

I look forward to reading more from you and how you will tame your wild beasts clawing at your door.

[TeeWun]

Hi Cazspaz, thank you for your beautiful balance of encouragement, stick around the back of my legs, and inspirational progress. It's terrific to see your progress, because you started at exactly the same start weight as me, but you are so close to finishing that I really see you as a role model for my journey.

I get the thing about establishing boundaries and shoring up the walls of resolve for the long seige ahead. I find it helpful to realise now that the siege is not against food, per se, it's against my own weaknesses. Against my own sabotage and conniving. What a fascinating game it is, to do battle with yourself and then to discover who is victorious... the new self, or the old.

I appreciate this wonderful forum so much, I didn't know about it in 2007, so it is making a HUGE contribution to my journey already.

Thanks also for posting digital Canis Lupus!!

I now commit to scientific rigour in my weighing of portions.

[TeeWun]

It's now 3.5 weeks since I started the program and I have lost 9kgs. I am now just under my starting weight of 109.5kgs back in March 2007 when I first started my Cohens program. I'm so incredibly pleased that 7 years of steadily increasing my weight/reducing my wellness has been erased in such a short time. Now that it's probably going to cost me a lot more money to be taking 4 different medications - from paying to see the doctor, paying to replenish my prescriptions and the rising cost of the medications, I would really really love to achieve health intervention from the inside out.... it will save my life and our family budget too.

My greater goal therefore in losing all this excess flab, is also to 'kick' my need for blood pressure & heart pills, quit needing HRT and those yellow pills for menopausal-associated nerve pain.

Next short term goal is to surpass the 15kgs I lost on Cohens first time around... before I fell off the back of the cattle truck. These days I want it so much more... I'm even driving the truck!!

My new scales arrived YAY!!

[Cazspaz]

Wooooo! You are off to an amazing start! Thanks for the compliments before too btw. Persistence is key - don't give in and be 100% for as long as you can. If you slip up don't dwell on it too much just get right back to being 100% on plan.

You can smash past 15 kilos in no time TeeWun! I'm looking forward to reading more about your journey

[TeeWun]

Thanks so much Cazspaz and Vikram, your kind words are my 'sweets' for today!

and Vikram, welcome to the wonderful world of shrinking... you'll love the results. I look forward to reading your posts too.

[TeeWun]

Missing rice more than anything, more than sweet stuff, more than milk in my coffee and tea, more than toasted sandwiches and more than pasta. Wow, I am dreaming of the subtle fragrances of jasmine rice and dehraduni basmati, and fried rice and risotto and arancini balls. Funny how the brain/body deals with nearly anything and then it suddenly chucks a tantrum and just WANTS TO EAT RICE NOW!!!... Oh Asia... how I miss your culinary treasures.

Apart from my rice withdrawal, everything is chugging along OK, I'm def getting a bit bored with eating the same foods over and over (I know there's groovy recipes in here, but what's the point of gourmet-fying half a teacup of food/medicine), but... even when all around me at work are stuffing mountains of iced cupcakes into their heads and guzzling fistfuls of smarties and boxes of ferrero rochers, I am quietly quaffing my room temp' H2O with my face in the corner, just feeling the burn with a faintly smug little glint in my eyes because I, my brothers and sisters, am running hell for leather to get AWAY from the fatso end of the new clothes rack, whilst all around me are laughing gaily and glazing over in their stupefied sugar hazes... 'Yo' Nancy, wouldjer care for another jumbo-sized custard-filled donut pizza to go with that ice cold schooner glass of creaming soda?? Yup, Dolores, it's morning tea, go ahead and load me up Buttercup!

Bah humbug, I say (with just a wobbly little tear glinting in the corners of my eyes).

Sugar-free for 8 weeks... even mandarins and apples taste like lollies to me now.

Only 66,547 kilos left to kill. Think I'll go boil an egg.

sigh....

[Cazspaz]

Haha teewun some days are like that. In the end though you are either doing what you want because it's good for you and it makes you happy or you might as well join them in the tea room.
I know it isn't so black and white though is it. Some days we question WHY am I doing this?? But the pay off is actually pretty awesome... Feeling and looking great and being in control of our choices... Empowering and enriching. You are doing great teewun, hope you forget the rice and start feeling stronger soon

[TeeWun]

Thanks Cazspaz, I agree with you, and for the most part I am totally zoned and not giving a toss about food, just in that hungry rush that happens right before it's time for the next meal. Other than that, I am not stalking anything. Just the rice thing has been lurking because it was the weekend and we have usually eaten out at a fab Indian/Chinese/Malaysian Vietnamese place on weekends for years, and it feels really flat without that cultural treat. Never mind....

I have recently gone back to my part time job selling expensive fashion for overweight women, it's in the centre of the city and right above a very decent food court, so I'm quite surprised how much more I'm attracted to the reduction in clothes sizes than the deep-fried bonanza and cake-land downstairs. It's like that receptor in my brain is switched off. People KEEP offering me cake and chocolate, and I don't feel tempted at all, which is totally weird.

You're right, I know that being on the Cohens prog. is utterly good for me and it makes me feel safe more than happy, because I I know am moving away from chronic disease, worse illnesses and morbidity by actioning change. It deals with that long-trapped panic that I better DO SOMETHING NOW about my obesity. It definitely feels great to look myself in the mirror and give myself daily reassurance that there's now an adult in the building and no one's having cold curry and cheesecake for breakfast... today!!

I can breathe...

..& thanks for being my stern but loving guide!! I appreciate it lots, and BTW - you're so close to being fully done that I just want to congratulate you over and over. WoooHoooo you!

[lil_doll]

Hey Tee...

Oh I know those struggles all too well!

As Caz said the end result is well worth the effort!!

[TeeWun]

I went to a fundraiser/trivia night tonight, and our table was loaded up with lollies, chips, beer and soft drinks. I observed the other people in the room (maybe 80+ people) just shoveling junk into their mouths and I wondered how did this become the norm' for people to have to eat crap whenever we do anything social? and why do we need to guzzle on alcohol just to have a good time? The majority of people there were 19-22 years old and by the end of 3 hours everyone was so loud and pissed and I felt so out of place. Yes, I could have so easily stuffed fistfuls of that rubbish into my mouth, but I am now actually frightened by what that stuff does to my body - first - a short term sugar and carb freak out in the immediate aftermath and second - more fat, instant flare up of my now subdued chronic illnesses, self-disgust and failure. I didn't want any of that so I sneakily drank 2 bottles of water and pretended not to hear (it was getting very pissy and LOUD in there) whenever people kept offering me the junk food. I came home to a lovely meal of grilled chicken breast and salad, ate a very sweet mandarin and a couple of premiums. Did the trick!!

The other thing I found interesting today is that I was preparing a typical lunch meal for this family - since starting on Cohens I have made up several 'flavour' pots of garlic & onion powder, white pepper, oregano, chili powder, fennel and thyme - and I just cut up weighed beef strips or chicken breast strips and saute them with my flavour mix, add a few cut up zucchinis, mushrooms, tomatoes and a couple of cups of water. I put the lid on and cook that on low heat for 45mins and then serve, I make enough to pack half of it into the fridge for the next day or 2. I am thoroughly enjoying the flavour and nourishment of these thick, soupy stews and I realised that it is very much the kind of food that our ancestors ate, especially those that lived in colder climates. The one-pot slow simmered stew produces glorious flavour and a hearty warm liquid to enjoy with crackers etc. It's the simplicity and the elegance of this proper food that is medicinal - without all the spak-filler of carbs such as potatoes/rice/bread. I'm loving it.

[lil_doll]

Hey Tee...

Firstly, awesome work not tucking into the lollies... and I agree it is concerning how much social things revolve around food. I think we just notice it more... I don't think it's really a new thing. haha. It's always been pretty normal. haha

But, I just wanted to check something... fennel powder is questionable- I'd be checking with my clinic! I'm also not sure about onion powder...

[TeeWun]

Thanks Missy for your pointers re fennel and onion powder. Also, I don't have a clinic, my program was written in 2007 and that clinic - East Brisbane has long since closed, so I'm going it alone, back on my original plan and lurking around here of course...

Your BMI is looking very excellent by the way, that must be such a wonderful sense of achievement. Well done.

'I think I can, I think I can, I think......'

T1
xx

[TeeWun]

17 down - 33 to go. SO cold...

[Ciors]

Fantastic work T1!

[TeeWun]

Thanks Ciors, I have been under a rock for a little while. I lost another 3kgs, so it's not such a bad rock... Went to see my doctor last week and he informed me that my starting weight was actually 120 not 118, so that's bad, but it's also good, because now I'm 100kgs and that feels a lot better.

[TeeWun]

It was my birthday yesterday... I bought shoes. New clothes. No cake...

[Ciors]

I love Dune! Happy Birthday, great pressies