The Best Version of Myself

[Soleil]

I think it's very important to spend time thinking about life after Cohens whilst still doing the program. The mental changes need to start now, not when the weight is lost, by already thinking about these you are setting yourself up for success

You're doing great!!!!!!!!!!!

[StrongerThanSheKnows]

Thanks soleil!

I guess I just keep thinking that the longer I do this, the more those feelings will develop (naturally, without effort) but I'm starting to think I need to make some mental changes.
I keep hearing meditation come up on the forum. I'm a strong believer that we can shape how we feel by controlling what we are exposed to. The main reason I stay away from the nightly news and horror movies, and honestly facebook too. Anything that seems to bring out ugly feelings (and not constructive ones) I just make the decision not to let those things into my life.
I think I need to take all this a step further. I need to look at my food like, wow, this is good, and nourishing, and a proper portion.
Instead of ...WTF this is all I get? Oh yay (sarcasm) more freaking veges and plain meat.
It is hard to feel good about this diet and the choices I'm making when I allow these thoughts to run rampant. While I totally get that it is natural for me to want to eat all of those things that led to my weight gain, if this weight loss is going to stick, I need to change how I look at food.
I'm not sure If I'm the only one, but I spend a lot of time thinking about what I will eat when I'm done with the diet. And I'm not talking about healthy stirfry, I'm thinking about every one of the unhealthy foods I used to binge on. I really do think, when I'm done, I'm going to eat that.
In the back of my mind, I'm like, no you're not. But somehow, I think this fantasy is helping me. Well it isn't. It's making me feel desperately weak and discouraged, and I have no confidence in my end game.
I need to turn those thoughts around...NOW!
I need to imagine, the strong healthy in control version of me. The girl who says, "No thanks, I'm good." When someone tries to get me to eat a doughnut. The girl who enjoys cooking and eating healthy food. Who is energetic and confident. I need to imagine all the yummy healthy fresh foods I can make for myself and my family.
I just need to redirect my mental energy somewhere positive and healthy.
So there! That's it! No more wallowing in pitty and focusing on deprivation. This is an awesome process. We are getting healthier every single day. We are learning to cook new foods in new ways, how to use self control, how to cope with life without food. It is truly amazing. I'm going to embrace it, not resist it!
Thanks folks for helping me see this.
STSK

[Soon2BSlim]

I love your thinking STSK and I definitely agree with you. I believe there's a lot to be said for our mindset and if we see the eating plan as a series of "can't haves" rather than "what I choose or want" we end up with the victim mentality - why do I have to eat like this when all my friends/family etc. don't have to. Instead of seeing it as punishment we can see it as a treat to ourselves. We get to eat "this" while they have to eat "that."

On a side note, I found some time back that it I am really craving something e.g. lollies/chocolate, I can just allow myself to smell (inhaling deeply) the forbidden food and my craving is satisfied without the need to eat it. Win win I like what Soleil said too about finding other ways to treat ourselves without using food. Today my plan is to go and sit outside in the warm sun and forget about household chores for half an hour or so. I will take a good book (busy reading Outlander at the moment and am hooked) with me and just indulge myself without feeling guilty because I'm not cleaning something.

I look forward to seeing the new energetic, healthy, strong and vibrant woman you are beginning to embrace. It's a lifestyle choice and you're choosing well

Louise

[Soleil]

Brilliant post!!!

Everything in moderation, and it'll keep you looking fabulous for the rest of your life. It's when we overindulge again and again and again that will bring the problems. I think it's very reasonable to think that we'll continue enjoying the same foods we did before but it can never be 'enjoyed' the same way again. No more binging, ever. No more second servings, ever. No more oh just one more, no more excuses... If we go back to how we were we end up here again. It's not only a decision, it's a realisation, it's opening the eyes and understanding, really seeing ourselves. It's about making a change, in our head and in our hearts.

I really, really love how much thought you're putting into this!!! And very wisely thinking about the future. Try to be as imaginative as you can with your meals to keep them interesting, I know it's not easy though... My tough one is breakfast, there's only so many ways one can enjoy an egg and yoghurt hahahah, ....not going to fry a steak for breakfast either hahahaha. However, keeping with the topic, in the future I'm not going to be going back to daily toast with butter either. This is for life and we need to change Let's do this!!!!!

[mesmer_eyes]

Heya STSK!

I can relate to your last post and there is a lot really to be done with the way think and approach food. Im no saint but I do find myself in a thought process whenever I feel bad on what Im eating on plan. Its a tennis game.. there are days Im fine with it and there are days like, this is it? Why?!? then I direct my mind to seeing the good in it. It hasnt worked for me all the time (obviously) but its something that we need to learn to master. And when I say master is that we are in control of it instead of the food controlling us.

I love your progress and I will be joining you beautiful ladies now!

[Heidimama]

Hello STSK,

Your progress continues to inspire me. I am very happy for you.

I believe the examination of your thinking a really positive tool to maintaining a sane weight for the rest of your life. Our thinking is at the root of our unhealthy habits. So while we can practice will-power for a period of time and lose the weight, it will come right back if we:

1. do not change our thinking about food and
2. are not subsequently vigilant that our old thinking does not creep back in during times of celebration or difficulty

I will write more about the second point in my own diary so that I keep my comment here brief.

Thank you for your thoughtful posts.

[Soleil]

Time for an update STSK How are you doing?

[StrongerThanSheKnows]

Haha! Hi Soleil, thanks for checking in and reminding me to post! I miss you guys when I am too busy to check in!
I'm still cruising along, and feeling much more at ease now that I've been working hard to reset my thinking. The time is going by a bit faster, which is nice. Also, why I haven't checked in in too long. So, in this case, no news is good news.
My results for the month were not what my consultant had expected, only down 7.5 lbs. While I'd love more of a loss, I'm also really happy with the changes I'm seeing. I'm going to weigh in again on Monday to see if things are moving a bit faster. I have been pretty good about staying on plan, the only exception being a couple times getting restaurant salads and weighing the cooked versions of food. Oh and I've been eating cherry tomatoes from my garden for my allowance, so more than just a half a meal. I can certainly reign these minor things in if needed. But I'd rather not, haha! We'll see Monday.
Thanks for everyone's feedback, support and thoughts. I love reading everything you all are posting.
All my best!
STSK

[Heidimama]

Congrats on the nice loss!!! I think you have the right attitude, and this is a mind game, not a numbers game. If we get our head right, the numbers will follow. And you sound like your head is right!

You've got this!

[mesmer_eyes]

Hey STSK! Are cherry tomatoes allowed in the program? Because in my guidebook it says no grape/cherry tomato.

"just" 7.5 lbs.. come on.. that's fairly awesome compared to a gain or no movement.. so here's to you ->

[StrongerThanSheKnows]

Hey Everyone!
Still moving along, my next 4 week weigh in is on Monday. I'm a bit nervous as I feel like things have slowed down. It certainly something I need to consider as far as tightening the reigns on those things that I consider small deviations but might be seriously slowing me down. Monday will be the decision day for me on that.

I definitely have a battle going on in my head on this. One side says, go 100% deviation free and get to goal ASAP. The other side says, I don't mind if it takes a little longer and feels like a totally live able lifestyle. Is there anyone else out there struggling with the same?

I also have to consider that there's a much better chance of me reaching that (what seems like impossible) goal weight if I just stick to every rule like glue. But when I did that in the past, I honestly put my entire life on hold to do the diet. Now I have a family including my daughter, and a job I love, and a husband I want to enjoy life with and I hate the idea of just surviving to lose weight, I want to live at the same time. I guess that's why I'm where I am. I have spent the better part of the last 8 weeks mostly on plan but not 100%. I feel good, I like the changes I'm making but they are noticeably slower than in the past.
Anyway, other than that, everything is just peachy.
I hope you all are doing great!

[StrongerThanSheKnows]

Mesmer, nope cherry tomatoes are not on plan.

[Heidimama]

I admire you for being able to wait for 4-week weigh-ins. I think it says you are trusting the process.

I definitely have a battle going on in my head on this. One side says, go 100% deviation free and get to goal ASAP. The other side says, I don't mind if it takes a little longer and feels like a totally live able lifestyle. Is there anyone else out there struggling with the same?

I have spent some time reading the maintenance guidelines recently and it seems like life most days after plan will look a lot like life on plan, except with bigger portions and more variety, a small portion of carbs once a day, and occasional small treats. So with that in mind, I want to finish this phase ASAP, but I also want to learn during this phase about all the mental attachments I have to food and deal with them now. Also, I have high BP and hope that getting to normal BMI will help with that.

But I really do understand why you might want to make this phase of the plan more livable, especially as you eat meals with your family.

I am curious to read other opinions.

I know you will have some good news on Monday. You are doing great!

[StrongerThanSheKnows]

Hi Heidi Mama!
Thanks for your feedback. I totally get where you're coming from wanting to get to maintenance as fast as you can. And following plan 100% is the best way to do that, no question. My first time on the diet, I followed it 100% and I lost at least 10 lbs a month for over a year. The diet, when followed exactly is like a miracle in how fast it takes weight off. Stick to it and you will reach your goal before you know it!

Now for my diary check in....
I had my weigh in today and I'm down 5.5 lbs for the last 4 weeks. For Cohen's, that's a pretty slow loss (as mentioned above) but honestly, I'm really happy about it. I'm now lower(by 1 lb, lol) than my weight at my first prenatal appointment (nearly 3 years ago). So I've pretty much lost the weight I gained during my pregnancy. (In only three months!!! Thank you Cohens!!!)
And wow, that feels fantastic! I still want to lose more. I want to get back to my smaller sizes and feel like I really have control over my size, my eating, and my thought process around eating. I'm getting there. I can tell I look better, wahoo! But it is the mental part that I am most proud of.
Really, I can see changes in how I think about food and how I feel about my body and how it deserves to be cared for. I also feel more confident and less focused on and worried about how I look, or if I'm too big to do this or that. More time and attention for my family and stuff I actually want to care about!
Anyway, all signs (AKA my weight) point to me tightening the reigns a bit on staying in line with the rules. I will work on that. I'll let you guys know how it goes!
Keep it up folks. I love reading your posts, it keeps me motivated. We are in it together!

[Heidimama]

Congrats on getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight! I can see why that would make you feel so good, knowing that you are taking care of yourself.

I think it is amazing that you lost at least ten pounds a month the first time! That must have been some transformation! Were you a once-a-month weigher then too?

So happy you updated. I love reading your honest and inspiring posts.

[StrongerThanSheKnows]

Hi Heidi,

Thanks for your responses and posts too! It takes a village (at least for me).

Yeah I followed all the rules like crazy the first go round (including the weigh in rule). I just felt so out of control before the program that I felt like one deviation, of any kind would ruin my commitment. I had 120 lbs to lose so it was a major life changing process for me and i was terrified of what it would mean if I failed.
This time, I need to lose, yep for sure. But it also doesn't feel like my weight is ruining my life like it did before. And perhaps it is that difference that is leading to my more relaxed take on the diet this time.

But this time I weigh in officially every 4 weeks and sometimes I'll step on the scale at the 2 week mark just to see how it's going. I definitely enjoy seeing the number go down and knowing that I am "x" lbs closer to my goal. But at the same time, the goal is so very far away that it feels pretty inconsequential. Ultimately, I'm going to be on this diet for several more months, regardless of what I lose this week or even this month. The outcome is still...keep going, stay the course. I also have tried all kinds of other ways to lose weight and none of them has worked. So I know I'm not going to switch programs. Its Cohen's for me, all the way.

Given that, and also observing other people get really caught up in the numbers on the scale and seeing how demoralizing plateaus can be if you weigh everyday, I just want to stay away. The diet is already difficult enough, the last thing I need is the scale messing with my head.

Ten lbs. a month was a lot, but certainly not that unusual for Cohens. I also had so much to lose that 10lbs a month didn't seem super dramatic or noticeable, well not until I got down closer to goal.

I hope that helps!

[Soon2BSlim]

I love reading your posts STSK! You make a lot of sense in what you say and sound so in control of your mindset and eating plan.

Congratulations on your weight loss so far and especially in achieving a loss that puts your weight below your first prenatal appointment!

Well done!!!



Louise

[Heidimama]

Thanks for telling me more about your first round. Your commitment and dedication - just AMAZING. I have so many more Qs about that. Feel free to ignore them, of course. But just one - did your mind keep up with the image you saw in the mirror? I know that my mental image and the reflection in the mirror are not in sync after gains and losses sometimes.

[Soleil]

Hey you!!!

Here's a funny little ninja banana for you to remind you to fight, learn and to finish what you started The journey doesn't need to be perfect, as long as it continues

Love,
Soleil xx