Working to be a Little Miss

[littlemiss]

lil_doll you are a DOLL lol nice to be called 'little'.. i haven't heard that from a long time (ok, except from my bf who loves me whatever size I am - as long as my butt stays big!) .

I was actually looking at my photos from last year and they shocked me. I think we always had this certain image of ourselves in our heads that it is only when we are shown photos of ourselves, we realized how we actually look like to the rest of the world. I knew I had gained weight over the past couple of years but I never thought I was that big!

I don't know whether it's because I have a bigger frame for my height that any excess weight is obvious? I know that I've lost some weight but I've been staring at the mirror last couple of days and after the initial high, I've gone back to self-critiquing. My hips are still too big, my thighs, blah blah. Oh I bore myself!

Like someone suggested on this forum, I need to take some current pics of myself to see the difference.

I've been having headaches recently, and I wonder if it's because of the increased volume of water I've been drinking this week (I've gone up from 2L to 3L of water daily). lil_doll I think I might just have to lay off from drinking up to 3L..

Another thing I'm worried about - is that I'm getting rather addicted to Sprite Zero. I find that if I have it every day, it helps to keep down the craving (not really hunger!) pangs that I usually get right before dinner (when I get home from work). But I've never been a soda drinker and I don't want to be too dependent on this. Need to cut it down and see it as more of a treat that I can only have 2 or 3 x a week!

Been reading the maintenance diaries and am pretty excited to get there myself. I had another little epiphany.. obvious to some but not to me! Slim people (not necessarily those with fast metabolism) stay slim because they watch their weight - literally!

I'm someone who weighs herself like once a year... and the rest of the time, I'm in denial! So when weight creeps up, and clothes feel tight.. I don't really make sure that I eat healthy for the rest of the week, or exercise more... I just.. eat more.

Suffice to say that I am grateful that I didn't gain as much as I could have!

Oh I've got a new favourite dish (it does not have pretend squash!): chicken salad! It would taste better with low fat mayo but I don't have any...

Basically, shredded boiled chicken with strips of cabbage and cucumber. Add spices... Chill... there you go! Made it last night for today's lunch and it was yummy! Plus when you shred chicken and cabbage together, it looks like a big plate!

That's all for me for now... till then

[littlemiss]

Oh lookie here: I finally posted a picture of me, albeit one from about three or four years ago!
http://newyouforum.com/forum/album.p...pictureid=1538

So this was me about 60 kg and while I knew I was at my slimmest ever as an adult, I still felt 'not slim'. Curvy on good days (my skinner friends would call me curvy). I was also the most physically active at that time - pretty much jogged every day and loved it. I also indulged in sweets, etc... but watched my carb intake.

I would love to go back to that type of routine but I live in a very Muslim town and I don't feel comfortable jogging around the neighbourhood and have men stare. So Cohen's was the next best thing and nutritionally speaking, I've improved so much! Scared me to think what I was eating last year (mostly focused on carbs such as couscous, carrots, etc.).

Seriously have no regrets joining this programme because it's made me more nutritionally aware! Wish I could fast-forward to refeeding...

[lil_doll]

Hey Little Miss!

hehe @ fast forward to refeeding... I know I wished for that too... but I'll tell you, from where I am now, I think my wish may have come true! I was so focused on getting there and being there, that I kinda forgot to stop and smell the roses and realise I am almost there! And now, I am a bit 'worried' (to say the least!)... it's like you want to get there and get there and get there, then you do get there and you realise you aren't ready! haha (I am excited though, but a little apprehensive about leaving the Cohens nest)!

Hey, your pic is cool! You dooooo look like a character form a Japanese horror film! hehe

Have a great day!

xoxo
Missy

[littlemiss]

lil_doll thanks for your continued comments in my diary! It's nice to know that someone's reading the crap I write.

Well, I feel pretty crappy. I'm off the Cohen's challenge **sadness** This is even worse than the pumpkin mistake (which MIGHT NOT be a mistake - see new thread "Is this gem squash?") because I feel that I should have known better.

Lately, I have been pressed for time (not an excuse!) and thought it was easier to cook the chicken first and then weigh it. Duh me - why am I so dense. Cooked chicken weighs more than raw chicken! So I must at least be eating about 40grams more than I should. So mad at myself but I can only console myself that I caught it in time. I don't know what got into me.

I don't know how much it would cost me - I'd accept the longer time to lose weight but I am worried about it showing up in my first blood test. Actually, I have no idea what happens when you fail your first blood test!

Debating on whether to tell my consultant on this or to let it go and make sure I don't unintentionally deviate (it's the worst! Makes me madder than if I *intentionally* deviate) from now on.

Oh yeah, I tried to order canned tuna in water in the local supermarkets but they were very confused. Decided as well that the tuna in oil (or light oil) wasn't worth it. It's bad enough if there are unintentional deviations now and then. BUT NO MORE....

[Pommiegal]

Hey Little Miss,
Sheer up. Yes, you've made some boo boos but you've realized pretty quickly and are sorting it out...aren't you?

We all make mistakes and we just have to make sure we learn from them (I've made the meat one on a previous diet!) and keep on keeping on.

Also I don't think you can "fail" your blood test. It's just an indicator for Dr Cohen to work out our prefeed diet, so don't worry about that.

Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, stand tall and start over!

We will do this!

Sue

[chantoozie]

Hey Littlemiss

You're doing well - don't give up now!

The most important thing is that you realised where you went wrong! Easy fixed

As Sue said - we all make mistakes ... just got to learn from them! In the first few weeks I know I'm learning soooo much - and doing a lot of my learning is through making mistakes.

So take a deep breath... think about all the good work you've done so far, and don't give up!

I know you can do it

[thenewvee]

Hi littlemiss!
Don't worry too much about your unintentional deviations. Where you are doing the programme it is very challenging that you do not have access to all the available choices. As Sue says, we learn from our mistakes and move on. And Sue is also right about the blood test. You cannot fail it.

Interesting about your headaches. Could you be about to get TOM? Last time I got the most awful headaches starting about a week before and once TOM was gone, they were gone too. I was told they were hormonal headaches. Well needless to say, I did not enjoy those while on the programme!

Keep doing your best and learning along the way!

Vee

[littlemiss]

Hi Sue, Chantoozie, and Vee,

Many thanks for commenting and providing support! You put a smile on my face when I needed it most. Vee - the headaches have gone and I think it was because I was drinking 3 litres of water (as opposed to the 2 litres when I first started). I wasn't used to drinking so much (even 2 litres was a struggle!) but now, it's weird because today, I was sooooo dehydrated and had to chug down 4 litres of water!

Is my body adapting to the water? Pre-cohen's, I didn't really drink that much every day (including teas, etc.).

I think my TOM is definitely on the way, aside from this pimple on the side of my nose, I feel rather bloated. Please let that be TOM and not the extra chicken I've been chowing down! :P

[thenewvee]

Hey Littlemiss

Interesting that the increase in water caused your headaches. I had to giggle about you wanting even more the next day. I find I tend to have between 2.5 and 5 litres a day. The more I drink, the better I drop those kgs. I did at one stage keep getting really light headed, and discovered that drinking too much water, over 5l was the cause, so I now keep it below that. I love my water! My aim is usually around 3l.

Hope TOM comes and goes as smoothly as possible!

Vee

[jlou]

Originally Posted by littlemiss

aside from this pimple on the side of my nose, I feel rather bloated. Please let that be TOM and not the extra chicken I've been chowing down! :P

Little miss - I don't think the chicken is the cause of the zit

You are doing so well and are really an inspiration to anyone who makes excuses why they can't stay on program - you have limited access to correct foods but you are going strong.

Keep it up!

[littlemiss]

vee, I agree, I love my water too!

jlou, many thanks. I appreciate it! It has been tricky, yes but at the same time, I've gotten so much out of it (not just about losing weight but gaining a whole new appreciation for nutrition and cooking) so I can't really complain. And while my choices of food is rather limited, I also give thanks that I don't have as much temptation out there as you guys.

[littlemiss]

I realized that I haven't updated for a while but not one day does not go by that I do not read the forums! Makes me feel better that lots of people are going through the same journey as me. And look at all those new shiny diaries! I remember a time when I was one out of two?? when I first started my diary. But obviously am still a newbie since I'm still at the 'New Diary' section!

I'm continuing to do well. No more unintentional deviations that I know of! TOM hasn't arrived so all that bloatedness may very well be the extra protein I was munching on.

People who haven't seen me in a while are noticing that I've lost weight. I'm so anxious to find out how much I've lost so far! I'll take what I can get considering my first bumpy month!

Yesterday, we had an office tea and the old me would have reached for the local cakes without a thought. Everybody noticed that I was not eating anything and made comments that I am on a diet. Just shrugged it off and continued drinking my water.

Not a very exciting entry but then again, exciting entry = some kind of deviation or stress so I'd keep to my quiet humdrum days!

[littlemiss]

So here's the thing, I am going home to Malaysia next week and my boyfriend enjoys eating out. I have already told him that I am on this strict diet for now and I don't want to deviate but am thinking why not research some healthy restaurants, and compromise? Of course I'd be bringing my scales with me!

Here's what I've found as a possible option for a meal out:
http://www.macrobiotics-malaysia.com...ad&Repost=True
(it's a choose your own salad bar which is great)

http://www.macrobiotics-malaysia.com...fu&Repost=True
(Organic cold hiyayako tofu).

The restaurant is a macrobiotic vegan place. Unfortunately this is the only friendly Cohen meal in the place. I'm continuing to research other restaurants online to keep my BF happy! (although I don't think these restaurants would be his first choice! cest la vie)

[jlou]

Little Miss maybe you and your boyfriend could have some quite time at home with a home cooked meal instead????? It must be a while since you have had time together.

[littlemiss]

jlou, after reading your reply, I was going to explain why we can't, blah blah.. and then I stopped, and thought to myself... why not? Why not try something new?

My BF and I have been so ingrained in our routine (especially when I come home for a short period) that I think we've become lazy. We can make all the excuses we want but in the end, it's our choice.

He hasn't been happy hearing about the diet because he has no issues with my weight. I have to admit that I'm a bit annoyed at him because I want him to be more supportive. I've *never* been on a diet or be committed recently as I have to lose my extra weight. I have to remind him (when I see him) that I felt more energetic and happier as a person when I was closer to my goal weight (although with the constant exercise, I think I was smaller for my weight - I was a size 8 in pants! Wowee).

Meh. I *gained* the weight when we started going out (and eating out a lot). Why do relationships make us fat?

p/s thanks jlou for asking a simple, yet insightful question!

[littlemiss]

Found this great inspirational quote from the weightloss forum:

"There's a difference between interest and commitment.
When you're interested in doing something,
you do it only when it's convenient.
When you're committed to something,
you accept no excuses;
only results.”
~Kenneth Blanchard.

It's so true - I am going to remind myself of this whenever I find myself wavering with excuses on my Cohen programme. Was also thinking of SMS who has been tough on other Cohen-nites that come up with excuses. Tough love, right SMS?

[jlou]

I am glad I was able to help (although I was being a little bit naughty !!)

I'm so glad your BF doesn't have issues with your weight - but you might need to talk to him about respecting your decision and that you want to be happy about your weight too.

I am sure you will have a lovely time.

[littlemiss]

jlou, he shouldn't have any problems with my weight gain in the past because his ex-wife (of over 10 years plus) is obese and was the same weight when he married her. He doesn't seem to discriminate when it comes to body size - I know he's dated women who are skinnier than me too. I guess he's just skeptical about the whole 'I am going to lose weight' talk because one of his best friends is a woman who has been struggling with her weight for years. Maybe there is a natural function in men who kinda tune out when we whinge about our weight.

Today I was invited to a lunch party but thankfully, my TOM (note: I never thought I would be talking about this on the internet but there you go) arrived today, and I have major cramps. My first day of TOM is usually bad, it knocks me out and I am in bed all day. I felt bad because it sounds like an excuse but I felt that it would be more difficult and rude to go to a lunch party and not eat.

It's true what the other posts say re: "if they are your friends, they would understand, etc." but this is rural Indonesia and in a lot of Asian cultures, feeding you is showing you how much they care. I don't want them to think that I think their food is not good enough, and feel offended. I contemplated in showing up after lunch is over to say hello but there is no way they would let me go without eating something. Even if I explain that I am on a doctor-prescribed diet. And I can't count on just munching salad because Indonesian food is all about the coconut milk, deep-fried, etc.

I'm not sure how long I can dance around social invitations and get away with it! Luckily I don't receive that many I really miss my friends back home because I know that they would understand and not pressure me. I can hang out with them and not worry about being pushed to eat. That's when you know those are true friends because they can trust that you'd take care of yourself.

For me, the Cohen journey is one day a time. If I think too much about possible pot-holes down the road, it would be too overwhelming.

[thenewvee]

You are doing really well Littlemiss and you are doing what you need to do for YOU! That is really what this journey is about.
Like your new avatar! You look fabulous!

Vee

[jlou]

Just wondering, can you say you have severe food allergies and if you eat anything you risk getting very sick? That way you don't have to eat and they don't get offended....(I understand about the food to show they care thing - a friend's Mum was like that when I was a kid)