hope ful's Diary

[hope_ful]

thanks koh and andy, you're both really right, i just need to hang in there, which im doing but yes koh i love weighing everyday! i really like to see the scales go down, but they've been hovering around the same weight for a week. its annoying me!! im hoping this means ill have a massive drop soon, if my body is plateauing for a little while.

but seriously. im doing EVERYTHING right, and i dont think my measurements are even really dropping, so im just not sure whats going on! my body definitely isnt at a place where it cant go lower, im 2.3kg above top range of goal weight. this is where my body sat comfortably for about 6 months last year, so maybe it thinks it can just stay here again. well NO it cant! haha i feel like i should be eating even less! when i made breakfast now, it looked like a lot of cheese and i had to keep adding the mozzarella to the scale until it was right! i think my eyes are just readjusting regarding portion size, like my tuna salads for lunch are starting to look a good size, like the same as when i ate them for lunch before cohens, but obviously theyre smaller!

anyway, off to the fox farmers markets to buy flowers with my mom, and yummy organic fruit + veg. my fav.

thanks for stopping by guys!!!
have a good day
xxx

oh and thanks koh for merging my diaries!!!!!!!!

[thenewvee]

Hi Hope_ful!

It sounds a bit like you are stressing about the scales not moving for a while. This is also a form of stress which can slow your losses, or possibly cause the ulcers.

I think the key realisation I've come to during this journey is that we need to listen to what our bodies want, and stop trying to bend it to what the mind wants! Not an easy task!! If and when we can master this, then I'm sure the body would settle down into it's own groove where it feels happiest!
I don't think it matters whether you have 5kg or 50kg to lose. It's just good you took action sooner rather than later! We still need to work on our relationships to food and figure out what purpose we are giving food, as it is usually not that of nourishment and fuel.

Anyway, those are just some of my musings.

Hope your day is fab!

Vee

[lil_doll]

Hi Hope_ful!

I just wanted to pop in and wish you luck with your journey...

And although I haven't posted anything to you before, I thought you might like to know, I have been reading your posts... and have found your excitement contagious.

Hopefully that will put my butt into gear too... seems like you're a little impatient Nothing really wrong there, but just remember 'good things come to those who wait'... and as has been said maybe your measurements just need time to catch up with your losses... I say, you've come this far- started and successfully doing the program, so have faith!

Hang in there, I think you're doing great!

Lil Doll!

[hope_ful]

thanks vee and lil doll!
i am definitely impatient!! i think its just because for so long i tried so many things, dieticians, naturopaths, ketoslim, weight watchers, cutting out bread, sugars, the fibromyalgia diet (my mom, sister and aunty have fibromyalgia, my mom thinks i have it too.. i also get growing pains and have pitting in my nails, and other symptoms), i turned vegan for a little while, then added fish, eggs and yoghurt. and now that i have something in my hands that actually works, it feels too good and i want more of it! i.e. more losses hehe. i have a little bit of an excessive personality, if i find a skirt i like, id like it in two colours please. haha

vee you're so right, i do need to relax a little and let my body do what it needs to do. you listen to everyone telling you that you body "resizes" and then "reshapes" but you dont really understand until you stop losing for a little bit and then it happens to you! it's quietly frustrating. im finding this program is really helping me work out why i ate too much sometimes, its funny, when we have family dinners (we're jewish so we have shabbat, a big family dinner every fri night) and you're offered dessert, whether its ice cream and fruit salad or ice cream and apple crumble, you think "oh its ok to have a little, ive been so good this whole week and its a little treat". and then you go out for dinner on sat night and have some bread from the bread basket and two wines and some potato with your main, and voila, an extra 500 calories!! im really starting to "eat to live" which is a mentality ive never held for more than a few days at a time.

and thanks lil doll, i hope my excitement helps others get it going! i do have to wait, i know.. and im feeling 100000% better than i was last month, about everything: myself, my work, my friends, my boyfriend. its funny how a little weight loss makes everything brighter!!!!!

thanks for stopping by guys.. hope you have a great cohens day
lil doll good luck! i think i read somewhere that you're just starting?!? you should make a ticker! its sooo exciting when you can wake up, weigh yourself, and update your ticker!!

and remember, something ive discovered, if you're stuck for a meal, simple is sometimes best. tuna, lettuce, cucumber, and a crispbread. salt and pepper. balsamic. parsely!!! adds sooo much flavour!!! and you've got lunch!

xxx

[hexi2]

Yep Hope-Ful stay focussed on the positives - the 'negatives' will only ever work against you...

This journey is very much about challenging your mind, your emotions and trying to change the way you view foods, your experience and your motivation..

Journal the good stuff...the negatives are what get us 'unstuck'..and contribute to the whole 'woah is me...this is SOO hard, etc, etc' which makes it so hard to stay on the program but more importantly life after Cohens as that is when the true challenge happens...(yep I have been there many a times...not so much on program but my headset wasn't right when I finished - I was angry that I was 'deprived' - looking back now I wasn't deprived...and never will be as those foods are only for people wanting to get fat again...) so start thinking about 'headstuff' coz at the end of the day that is the bit that needs the most work...especially when you are finished

Reframe...wow I have ALREADY lost 4kg thats 4kg lighter than when you started..etc, etc

Bum up, head down!! And get a groovin

[hope_ful]

thanks hexi, you're so right. i do feel sooooo much better almost 5kg lighter. its amazing really, that its taken 3wks, when you think about the fact that 5kg would have taken me 6 or 7 months before. so yes, focusing on POSITIVES!!! yay!!

hehe i am known by friends and fam to "think too much". i can bury myself in my thoughts.. i have just bought eckhart tolle's "the power of now". its all about squashing your inner ego and letting your mind have a break from all that torturous self-thought. its really helping to put everything into perspective. two of my best friends have read it, and one of them in particular used to have the most intense panic attacks. she was on valium and had to almost quit her job, now she is perfectly fine and doesnt need meds, i mean she also had psychotherapy! but.. this book really helped her. so for anyone who is like me and thinks wayyyyy too much, about the future, the past, what i am doing, what im not doing, how i can do it better, why that hasnt happened yet, blah blah blah.. buy this book hehe

im not weighing myself til next wk, have hidden the scales in my sister's bedroom. last time i did that she freaked out and hid them in my other sister's bedroom. needless to say, two days later they were mysteriously back in my bathroom!! haha but theyre both skinny so they shouldnt care anyway hehe


thanks for having a read of my diary hexi! i appreciate everyone's words so much!
xxxx

and still loving my moconna!!

[hope_ful]

ok sooo it came to me while i was taking my ONE tablet of flaxseed oil this morning....... the reason as to why all of a sudden i have weird inflammation and pain in three parts of my body: my right knee, my left hip, my left foot. i had to have an ultra sound, and several phsyio sessions... and now my foot is hurting again..

i think its because pre-cohens, i ate a diet rich in good fats and oils: avo, nuts, salmon, olive oil, olives.. blah blah... and i took 10 flaxseed oil tablets a day, the recommended dose if you want it to actually work..

and the wk after i start cohens i get these pains! i have literally been icing my joints the last ten days, and i have to make it around to all my body parts that are aching before the ice pack warms up.

i emailed my consultant this morning asking what to do about this, if i can take more flaxseed oil, or increase oil or SOMETHING because im really in pain, and i work on my feet all day, which only makes things worse.

havent heard back yet, im hoping its because she had to email the good dr and ask him! i know this hasnt happened to anyone because i would have had a response, but this is my opinion, in case it does happen to you!

isnt it amazing how food really does help you? i never had this problem when i ate good fats and oils..

anyhoo
enjoy your weekend everyone
xxxxxx

[sundaymorningstaple]

isnt it amazing how food really does help you? i never had this problem when i ate good fats and oils..

That makes me wonder? I've only ever had joint pains due to my gout. When my uric acid levels are kept in check by not eating purine rich foods, no problems until recent years when I gained so much weight. When you attribute your joint pain to not being able to take 10 flaxseed oil tablets, I have to wonder how the rest of the world gets by without taking them. It sounds like your diet wasn't so good previously, as you had to supplement your diet with lots of suppliments. I've never taken them in my life and as could be seen, I was still pretty fit back in my late Forties. I know, if you are heavy into certain regimes you may want to supplement your body with vitamins but if you were that heavy into it, then you shouldn't have had the weight gain I wouldn't think. Frankly I'm a bit puzzled as most of us have our joint pains relieved during the program as the weight drops off as we relieved the stress put on them by the additional weight.

Could you be calcium deficient? Might be worth a check.

sms

[hope_ful]

hey sms
i only took the flaxseed oil for its health benefits, not because i had any pain. my diet was really good, healthy and full of fruits, veg, and omega 3 + 6 oils. i was working out everyday for about 60 mins, more if i added strength training, and i saw a naturopath. 10 tablets isnt excessive, its what they recommend to ensure adequate cell hydration and health.

it is strange that im having this inflammation problem, as you're right, most people on cohen's lose the pain. being 10kg above goal probably meant i wasnt putting too much strain on my joints, but it was definitely 10kg more than necessary! ive emailed my doctor, just waiting for his reply. my consultant mentioned i take the efa supplements they sell.

this could also just be purely coincidental!! haha my auntie, who does reiki, said i should try leave out tomato for a few days as theyre acidic and dont help with inflammation, so i might give that a try..

thanks for your advice! its more a tendon/muscle pain, not so much joint pain, but its around the joint, if that makes sense

thanks sms
xx

[maria1969yellow]

Hi Hopeful your working on getting tools that work for you.. At the beginning of this programe I can remember eating my meal 3 at work to aviod going home to eat.. Funnily I could prepare their meals in the morning and that was fine but at night time it would drive me crazy. Now thats different and couldnt care....

Your doing great... Keep at it.. Working though it all means you will find what works for you and tools that we can use for the rest of our lives.

Im sure this will be your last programme you do. Im making sure its mine.

Take care and have a great weekend. Thanks for visiting my posts also by the way and the nice things you said for my pictures.

Maria

[hope_ful]

thanks maria! this is definitely going to be the last program i ever do!

i only lost 400g since last sat?!?!?! what is that?!?!?! im not doing anything wrong!! i know i know i know its probably coming off in cm's but i can only check that properly when i have my next appointment, next thurs. i didnt weigh myself for a few days, to try and get my mind off it, and i thought id at least be 63.something today, but no.. at least i will be tomorrow if i lose a little.

i started pilates again this morning.. reactivated my gym membership at elixr! i used to jump out of bed every morning to go exercise, i loved it. and hated it sometimes, but it was how i started my day. my head was starting to feel flat and funny and i just knew i had to get back into it. it was quite hard as i havent done it in a few weeks, but i managed the whole class really well, and today is the first day in 2 wks i havent had joint or muscle pain, so maybe my body was just crying out for those happy exercise endorphins! it made me a little hungrier before lunch, but nothing major. i think if i just do it 2-3xper week ill be happier and feeling a little bit fitter.

im just exhausted this wk, and im not sure why. im taking all my vitamins, and sleeping from about 10, 1030 til about 7, 8am everyday that im not working. sometimes i have to wake up closer to 6am for work, depending on the job (i work freelance).

good news is im not feeling so hungry, and i feel like ive been doing all this for years, its starting to feel like a habit, weighing all my food. im spreading out my crispbread better, trying not to have one at breakfast, just yoghurt no fruit, or just egg/cheese + veg so that i can have more later, when im feeling peckish and a bit tired. i made the best omelette this morning, and my other fav breakie is roasted field mushrooms with mozzarella under the grill. it goes golden brown and a bit chewy, its the best! another trick ive been using is to put lots of fresh parsley in my tuna salads, i used to hate parsely, but it gives the salad such flavour, its so good!

have a bit of a hard weekend with two parties on tonight, but ill be fine. i had to go out for dinner on thurs night for a friend who's visiting home from living in london for a few yrs, and thankfully it was a restaurant we often go to, and i know the chef/owner. my lovely bf called during the day to check which fish they would have (snapper) i ran into the kitchen when i got there and made sure they knew to cook me plain, grilled snapper with no oil/butter/lemon and salad with just leaves, cucumber and tomato, balsamic and no oil! it was delicious!!!!!!! and i felt so light and healthy afterwards, especially after watching my bf and our friends share a garlic pizza, antipasto and hot bread with butter and oil for entree, and then pizza, pasta, and arancini balls for main! and beer and wine. haha i had two diet cokes. and i felt so good.

ok off to grab a sprite zero from the fridge (we now buy bulk cans of it, i love it) and have a nap on the couch after watching the biggest loser, that i taped last night. its my fav show. that and grey's anatomy, house, life and lie to me. haha thats all!!

has anyone else experience such slow weight loss, 400g, in the 2nd, 3rd weeks? its so painfully slow! i hope it hurries up next wk. i would love to be finished or halfway through refeed by end march as i have a wedding....

xx

[hope_ful]

hi everyone
i know im getting way ahead of myself here (approx. 2kg ahead of myself) but... i had a question about refeed.. im 2kg from top end range of refeed weight, (59-62) i know you "will just know" when you're supposed to start refeed but is there a better time to start? like should you start when you're at the top end of the goal range, or the middle, so that you could possibly drop some more? and WOULD you even drop more if you were within range?

i know its hard to answer this as its so personal to your own body but im getting really excited for refeed.. and yes i know, one day at a time! but a girl can dream, right??

[sundaymorningstaple]

Personally, I'd go for the bottom. Unless the hunger sets in and you want to eat the table legs and anything that moves but can be caught! Then it's time to start. I originally set my goal at 70 but had a range of 69-72. Once I hit 70 I didn't have any signs of hunger so went on down to bottom of target ultimately finishing refeed at 68.2. Never did get the hunger but I don't advise going below or if you do, do not go to far below. Read Pandora's and Maya's original diaries to see what I mean. Let's face it, if you are not hungry, then it's easy to ease back up to where you want to be than it is climbing back up on the Cohen's train to do it.

[hope_ful]

hi guys
hope you all had a good weekend!

i finally worked it out!!! the reason why i wasnt losing last week is because i introduced apples in to my diet, and for some reason they were making my body hold on and not lose! its also why i was feeling exhausted and sleeping every afternoon.. i was feeling groggy and moody, it was the sugar in the apples! i knew it was more than just a "slow week", it just took me a while to link the apples and the slow weight loss. last night i am down 500g, thats more than the whole of last wk and yesterday i had melon and a peach, not one or two apples. finally! so no more apples for me, i will use them as a "bad fruit" for refeed i think! can i do that?

also i got a massage yesterday (nice) but im getting a sore throat today (toxins being released, even though i drank litres of water afterwards). what a pain in the you know what...

looking forward to another week of losses
and a little sad i lost out on last wk due to me being a bit slow to link it all together! at least i know now!

i hope no one else has that problem with apples, but i hope someone reads this so that if you do, you will work it out faster than i did!

happing eating
xx

[maria1969yellow]

Hiya, glad you worked it out for yourself why the slow losses. I know that apples make me more hungry and it must be the sugars in them... I tend to only eat them when I feel like crunching on something..

Hey dont worry Im sure your body will loose quicker and I find after a week or so of slow losses I do some good losses..

Heres hoping for you virtually! Good on you for sticking to your guns out... Its funny I now look at the glugginess most people put into their bodies and am proud of the new healthier me as you should be also...

Well done...

have a great big loss this week!

Maria

[Dedeemay]

Hi, just giving you a nudge in the right direction. Don't lose heart, these little plateaus happen every now and again, and you will probably find you have shrunk in cms....I usually do when I have a slow loss week.
You will be there in no time at all and be your own biggest loser!
Have a great losing week!

[hexi2]

Hiya Hopeful

Try this...eat your fruit within half hour of eating your meal....stops insulin spike (not a Cohens rule) but something else I have been trying out I really wouldn't have thought apples would slow down your weightloss that much and no they are not considered a 'bad' fruit during refeed so if you dont want them just leave them out

[hope_ful]

thanks guys! its so great to know people actually read what i rant on about..

thanks hexi, thats a good point: i do try to eat my fruit after my protein meal, but sometimes like late afternoon i just get peckish so i try save a fruit for then.. after dinner is when its easier for me to have my fruit close to dinner. i know it sounds so weird that its the apples, but i really do think it is. last wk i just felt like my body was holding and holding on to something, and i was really exhausted, and im just listening to that so im going to try steer clear of apples! i love all fruit, so its not a problem for me to stick to melon, peaches and oranges. yesterday was the first day (since i started eating apples again) that i didnt feel tired, as i didnt have an apple, and i had a big loss this morning.

it makes so much sense to me, that one food you eat could make your body not want to lose! its really highlighted how important this whole journey of cohens is, and especially refeed! if apples help me MAINTAIN my weight, thats awesome. but for right now i feel they are not helping. koh mentioned to me that apples are higher in sugar than most fruits. they were also making me feel and look bloated, a feeling im not used to since starting cohens.

thanks dedeemay and maria, i do hope that ive lost cm's and im excited to be my own biggest loser! i was in a pilates class this morning, and i swear, i felt so happy. just to not look down and see my stomach and thighs bulging. it was the first time in years i have felt slim and "normal", not the chubby girl who is "trying to lose weight at gym". at the moment im just exercising for my wellbeing, not weight loss, and it makes such a difference to the pleasure of the experience. i loved it!

thanks for stopping by guys!
happy losing
xx

p.s. hexi i mean i might include apples as a "bad fruit" in my own refeed, as they really didnt allow me to do lose weight this wk, im very in touch with my body and i just felt different eating them, so ill stick to no apples until refeed.. i know its not very cohens, but it will work for me! they made me exhausted and grumpy haha not a happy loser
xx

[hexi2]

Good news is you never have to eat apples again! You don't have to have them in refeed - you are just asked to keep to your 'old fruit' which is what you already have and if you don't want apples then so be it!!

[hope_ful]

good morning!

im on day 29... almost at top end goal! im so excited to start refeed.. ive been doing really well.. except i got a chest infection on sunday/monday which hasnt been fun. so im on extra vit c, garlic oil, echinacea and antibiotics!! i need it to go away!! at least im not working today so i can stay home and relax. i have my second appointment this morning, hoping ive lost a few cms in the last couple of weeks.

last night for dinner i made snapper with stir-fried mushrooms and zucchini in a wok with chilli, garlic and balsamic vinegar. it was really good! i put sumac on the snapper with salt, pepper and more herbs and pan fried it. i was going to crush my crackers up and put it on the fish like schnitzel but was too hungry so i ate my crackers while i was cooking dinner hehe. i had just made my sis dinner, prawns and calamari stir-fried with veges in a sweet honey soy over cous cous. looked and smelt so good.. not the cous cous (ive always found it dry and not very appealing, quinoa is more my thing) but the red capsicum and snow peas! ahh anyway. soon it will be mine too! haha

i am for sure doing well and feeling it too.. i keep finding old jeans that fit me now. last yr before i went overseas i had a stall at bondi markets to make extra cash and sold allll my old size 8/10 jeans.. at the time it felt good, letting go of the old, getting $1100 for the day hahah- i sold a lot- but now i wish i had some to try on, to get a grasp of how my body is changing. i could try my sisters or mom's jeans on, but its not really the same, is it?

im still really loving how slim you feel on this program. the only time i get bloated is when i was eating apples (they slowed my weight loss so no more!) and when i have metamucil... i havent really had a proper BM this wk. it feels so wrong!!!! i used to have one or sometimes two a day! it felt so good and regular hehe and now its like, hello down there? i know you're filling up because im doing my job and eating, now can you please do yours and clean me out???????? hahah sorry to be so gross its just annoying! i also dont want to take too much metamucil because i dont want to mess things up too much you know, so im taking 2tsp once or twice a day. and heapssss of water. yesterday i had like 4/5L but its also because im sick and i want to keep flushing everything out.

i have 2 friends birthday dinners coming up at end of march and beginning of april, we'll be going out to restaurants and theres a set menu, however much a head, and im a little anxious already. my girlfriends go out a LOT and drink EVEN MORE and most of them eat whatever they want. literally. and so even if im on refeed/fnished by then, i still dont want to and would never have been able to eat like them, and ive accepted it, but it doesnt make it easier. the one restaurant is asian inspired and so normally what happens if its a birthday dinner is they just bring out 6 plates of each dish at a time, so it'll be salt and pepper squid, then chicken dumplings, then fish cakes, then meat and fish and chicken and rice, and im like firstly, im vegetarian so cant eat most of it (but yes i still have to pay the same price as everyone else even though they bring out one meal for me) but i just dont know how im supposed to deal with the night? the other party is at a pizza restaurant, which i know will have a caprese salad which i can have for main or entree, but again, i cant have pizza, and if i have wine at dinner, i dont want to drink a lot when we have to go out after? i feel like im so much older than my friends because i cant do the things they do. firstly, the idea of staying out in clubs til 3am makes me sick, been there, done it, hate it. and secondly, if i were to eat and drink like them, i would be a whale. and so unhappy. and to be honest, going out with trashed girls when you're sober is no amount of fun, at all... theyre two of my really good friends, so of course im going for dinner, and i know there will be many more situations like this, and there have been in the past, but i lose confidence in them because i have to be different. and i choose to be different, but still, its hard.

well enough of my depressing rant. off to shower and then to borders to buy some fresh amazing books and then to my appointment. yay

xxx