An outsider's thoughts on "You've lost enough!!"

[FlaMie]

Such kinds of comments don't just exist in phase 1, it continues into maintenance too. As I'm eating healthily now - I eat anything but in moderation, people still give me comments like "why are you still on the DIET?! You've lost enough, you are looking so skinny. You better stop the DIET". This is so frustrating. Despite the innumerous times I've told these people to stop calling it a DIET but my choice of a lifestyle, they persist to irritate me. Gosh, can't these people just stop and when might that be? How can I be any healthier with my 33 kilos of extra weight?

[Kohinoor]

Hi FlaMie,

Such kinds of comments don't just exist in phase 1, it continues into maintenance too. As I'm eating healthily now - I eat anything but in moderation, people still give me comments like "why are you still on the DIET?! You've lost enough, you are looking so skinny".

Hey, it DOES seem a bit unfair eh? But, let's look at what has REALLY happened..... You, FlaMie, have become a challenge - to them !! You got off your butt, and have now shed 30+ Kgs that many of them WISH they could shed.

The good news is, though, that EVERY person you meet from now on will only know the New FlaMie - they won't relate to you as someone 30+Kgs overweight.

And, in time, even old friends will come to "re-know" you as "FlaMie the slim wee girl who went out and shed her demons along with her extra weight some time ago !!"

Hang tough, FlaMie - as with everything, "this too will pass"

Main thing to remember (everyone, whether still on Plan, or on Maintenance) is that these voices are Sirens - luring you onto the rocks, if you let them...

Koh

[Alibaba]

The girls whom I share an office with is really supportive, they are both skinny and the one is expecting now, but they eat everything. My friends used to say not to loose any weight, but now that I've lost 10kgs they are like "Wow, you look good". The one friend that actually invited me to the Cohen's info session (she chickened out on the night) was very supportive in the beginning, but now she isn't anymore. I think she is jealous (she never joined), but she has about 5kgs to loose and looks heaps better than after when she had her 2nd boy. I just don't care what people say. I will take this program until I feel comfortable. I know that my face gets too skinny when I'm too skinny, so I want to end up at the higher end of my weight range for that reason. There will always be a little bit of fat left, but hey, that's ok, I don't need to look like a skinny bikini supermodel, they are too skinny in real life and are very young as well. I feel so much better about myself already and have less than 10kgs to go.

[Kohinoor]

Hi Alibaba,

I will take this program until I feel comfortable. I know that my face gets too skinny when I'm too skinny, so I want to end up at the higher end of my weight range for that reason.

Please do consider that the "norm" is for the face to become a little gaunt (or skinny) as the body draws fat from wherever it can get it in the latter days of the Plan. If you don't get to finish properly, it could kick back at you down the track.

To do it right, do get to that "eat the arms off the furniture" feeling so that refeed can then complete the process, and add back the normal amount of fat that will return your face to "looking its best". Of course, this hunger MAY happen above your goal weight anyway - or not. Only one way to find out really One exception is if you reach lower goal, AND you are happy with your reflection in a mirror, then starting refeed then is also OK (Asy calls it her "two out of three" rule - hunger, lower goal, looking slim and you're happy).

Have a good read around before "choosing to stop early" - you wouldn't want to do YOU a dis-service eh?

Koh

[FlaMie]

hahahah eat the arms off the furniture? aaahhhh that at least wouldn't hurt my dear pal koh puppy. It is worse if you start to chew off your own arms! I almost did, remember? hehehehe Anyway, you can't believe how irate I can get when I still receive the "good will" advice that I'm eating unhealthily and eating so little... I may collapse etc... gee, what's wrong with these people? If ever I collapse, I think must be due to their over zealous recommendations hahahaha.

[Kohinoor]

Hi FlaMie,

My little fellow banterer

It is worse if you start to chew off your own arms! I almost did, remember? hehehehe

Hehe - I can't forget that one - but I didn't want to scare Alibaba too much You can speak with authority on that FlaMie - I hope your arms have grown back again now....

If I recall correctly, though, you DID go all the way to goal weight, yes? Would you recommend it to others now? Despite chewing on your arms

Koh

[Kohinoor]

Well overdue for a "bump" - we have lots of new people already well on their way, and maybe could do with the myriad well-thought-out replies from all of you doing this....

Koh

[Ladybird]

Thanks for the bump Koh - some great comments in this thread.
LB x

[mumandnana]

Koh, you are so right about the face showing the loss first ! There are 4 of us working on this together and that is what we saw first and it was within the first week. By the second week it was like " wow !! "

[Bvk73]

I caught up with some friends yesterday tht hadn't seen me since Feb, and they were really surprised to see how muchI lost and alot of them were really excited for me. One commented about thefact that I had lost so much in the face, and one of the other got a bit funny when I said I still had 11kg's to lose. She told me maybe 5 at the max that I wouldn't want to lose much more than that. I know that at the moment if I stopped yes I look ok. But you can look ok with your clothes on, but off you can definately see the area's that still need attention.

The same person was also in awe of the level of will power that I have, so maybe there negativity has something to do with the fact that if they were in my shoes that couldn't do.

Everyone has an opinion when is comes to other peoples diets, maybe they should learn to not comment if they can't be positive and supportive.

Bern

[Laura77]

I havent gotten the you've lost enough yet.. im still quite big.. but I work with a lady who came over to me today and said "so how much have you lost now" .. im proud of myself and what ive done so i said "nearly 19kgs"... she said "in how long"... i said "in about 10 weeks, but i havent weighted this week" .. "thats rediculous your going to make yourself ill" and she walked away!!! i just laughed shrugged it off and continued what i was doing

[shuki]

yep get that one Laura - i had a friend tell me this week that i better be careful about losing weight too quickly due to the extra skin issues.... i know it was said in kindness but I felt like my parade was being rained on a bit. - oh well shrug it off!

[meljo]

Originally Posted by Bvk73

Everyone has an opinion when is comes to other peoples diets, maybe they should learn to not comment if they can't be positive and supportive.

Bern

Totally agree with this Bern. I told a couple of girls at work I was doing this, and somebody, who I wasn't even talking to I might add, came in and said that she "knew other girls on Cohen's and they lost too much weight and looked ridiculous and that nobody should be doing this starvation diet". I couldn't believe what I was hearing and told her that maybe her and her size 6 frame shouldn't be judging other peoples choices to lose weight and become healthy. I could keep going on with the rest of what happened but it makes me too angry, and even now, a week later, this girl, well not even a girl, she's 40 years old, so this woman will not talk to me. I'm definitely not letting her get to me but glad I stumbled upon this thread cos I just needed to vent...

[littlemiss]

I'm kinder to my mom and some friends who have told me that I have lost enough weight (I've since dropped more kgs) because I understand where they are coming from. They are used to me of a certain size, and think that I look good enough - to see me lose more weight makes them uncertain of the new me. I know that their concern comes out of love for me.

However, when acquaintances, and work colleagues make comments - I am less patient. Agreed, whenever people find out that you're on a diet - any diet - they have to make judgments. Even when they are chowing down on instant noodles or deep fried food, no vegetables - there is a sense of superiority coming from them when they tell you that your diet 'isn't healthy'.

One of my office people keeps telling me almost every day that I've lost enough and that I should stop my diet. I tell her with much amusement that my 'diet' would continue forever hopefully! because it's all about maintenance. I can never go back to my normal eating habits and expect to remain the same size!

[Future Yummy Mummy]

Originally Posted by meljo

Totally agree with this Bern. I told a couple of girls at work I was doing this, and somebody, who I wasn't even talking to I might add, came in and said that she "knew other girls on Cohen's and they lost too much weight and looked ridiculous and that nobody should be doing this starvation diet". I couldn't believe what I was hearing and told her that maybe her and her size 6 frame shouldn't be judging other peoples choices to lose weight and become healthy. I could keep going on with the rest of what happened but it makes me too angry, and even now, a week later, this girl, well not even a girl, she's 40 years old, so this woman will not talk to me. I'm definitely not letting her get to me but glad I stumbled upon this thread cos I just needed to vent...

God, what a cow.

Vent away!

[Volte]

Well I am only up to 3 people (outside my family) who have even noticed I am loosing weight so the comments have been all positive. Most of them know how hard I have been trying to loose weight since I had the second bub. My family is particularly happy for me - not to mention that my husband keeps chasing me around!

I think I'm very lucky that I am not in an office situation at present, knowing how some people have neither boundaries or empathy! Nice people would note that you are loosing weight and make a positive comment - the people you don't want in your life (and sometime cannot avoid being in contact with while working) are the ones who make the negative comments. Just give them what a friend of mine calls "the mental finger" and continue on!

[mcpsych]

haha the mental finger- good one volte
problem is, i cant resist giving them the real one hehe

[Laura77]

Yeah I dont have enough self control for just a mental finger haha

[Volte]

*snigger* I've always found the mental finger a really good defence against some of the socio - and psychopaths that I have worked with! They can't do much with a blank look and it makes me feel *SO* much better.

[Kohinoor]

Just give them what a friend of mine calls "the mental finger" and continue on!

That is classic !!! I love it,

Koh