asy's thoughts on Deviation...

[Andy46]

Well said ....... and I agree %100% ......... great to see and you make real good sense with those comments

Thanks



A ndy

[Nickers]

Hi Guys,

I am trying to find the best way to write this without waffling on too much so I do apologise for it being long and if I don’t make sense.

I’ve been on the forum now for a few weeks and I am on day 17 of my program. I’ve only just come across this thread today and as some of you would of read from my diary I had a great first week but then I had a couple of deviations and eventually they snowballed and I ended up falling right off the program. I have many reasons and excuses as to why and even though I thought they were valid and justified at the time this thread only confirms that they are just that… excuses and only reasons I use to sabotage myself.

I also wanted to say that my postings in my diary have not been to look for support or sympathy for my deviations but there for me to be honest and admit to myself what I had done instead of covering it up and pretending it didn’t happen (I always used to do this…) And the comments back were always more inspiring to get back on track and I am so thankful that support is there.

I had been seeing someone for a while to sort out my depression and emotional eating issues and I really thought I had worked it all out and was in a good place to finally put it all behind me and start my program.

However the last two weeks have only proved to me that I still had a lot of work to do… I had lost my vision of me being at my goal and stopped believing that I could do it and started to feel like it was just going to be another waste of money as I was a failure... I have had my “wall of fat” to protect me for so long and have used it for so many things and as much as I wanted to be slim I didn’t know how to let myself go and just keep losing because in the past once I’ve got below where I am now I’ve always been hurt somehow and when I am bigger I’ve always been safe. But enough is enough, I don’t want to feel that way anymore, I want to be slim and most of all I want to be healthy, fit and happy!

So I went to see my Healer last night as I hadn’t been to see her for a while (I’d been having a bit of hypnotherapy in between and I thought that would be enough but alas it wasn’t) as I felt like everything has gotten way out of control again and I was an emotional mess.

The first thing she said to me when she saw me was - what’s happened to you, you have no self esteem again and why have you gone back to sabotaging yourself... We went through everything that had happened and it all became clear. I have very low self esteem and I had started self doubting again as I have such a fear about being slim. Once I’d lost 6kg and started to feel good about myself again a few people had commented on me looking good and not so bloated, I freaked out and went back to sabotage mode

We spent a lot of time clearing out the emotions attached to the eating and the issues and feelings that trigger the emotional eating. She’s adamant that I will succeed now and I agree as I feel so much clearer today and I feel I am back to feeling at peace with myself and in control again and ready to take on the world. This time I am not to leave it so long, if I start to go down again I need to get straight back in there and get help, hopefully I won’t have to but if I do, then that’s what I need to do…there is no shame in asking for help!

My Healer has already helped me turn my life around as I used to be big on the binge drinking, something bad/good happened I’d be straight out on it and would have a huge bender and end up sick and eat crap foods for days. I thankfully have been able to stop doing that and I have not had a bender now for almost 4 months. I also have not had an alcoholic drink for 3 months as I know that once I start I can not stop and hence the rule should be the same with food but I find food so much harder to resist but I now know that I have to make a commitment to follow my program 100% and more so the commitment to myself.

My reason for posting was really to try and say that it is true that if you do not have all the emotional stuff worked out as to why you overeat or eat comfort food you will never be able to succeed at any weight loss program. I really encourage everyone to seek the help that is needed to make you feel whole inside and really believe that you deserve to be happy and healthy as your belief in yourself will be what gets you to your goal…

And one little deviation leads to many more and eventually you will fall off the program.

I wish you all well in your journey and if anyone ever needs to chat please feel free to PM me – I still haven’t figured out how to PM anyone else yet

Cheers
Nickers

[Blondie]

I have been deviating and after reading this.... that is it!! You are so right, you either are or you are not. So today is my first day to wakeup and stop with stupid excuses and realise "WHY" I started in the first place.
Thank you for this.

[katrina]

I really feel 100% commited to this. I have had a lot of issues to deal with however I am not going to use anything as an excuse anymore. I just think outside the square not to deviate and keep to the programme. it is a mindset and it is to my benefit. I am not an organised person however the cohens way has shown me a path that I can take to wellness and yummy mummy status. I ate a few forbidden fruits before I started just to reinforce how disgusting you feel when you don't follow the plan. I know I am only new however if I start thinking I've got a party I'll just deviate I won't get anywhere I have a sense of urgency. I lost 40kg in 2004 and my brother (who lives in Norway) last saw me then on a journey to slimness I was 125kg when he last saw me and people thought I looked skinny and were happy for me to stay that way. So I just accepted that was my weight. I then went to a place where emotionally I was crippled and suffered for about a year from depression (a condition I battle everyday and have for years) however I realised I needed to boot myself up the butt to get a positive mindset. Yes this is hard and no you don't want to end up being the happy all the time person who everyone walks over. I looked at me and my head space it truly is important to wake up to ones self and make changes so you can succeed. I gave the father of my children up for lent 7 years ago because of his distructive behaviour I could have stuck around however I would be 200kg by now trying to eat myself happy however I walked away with dignity and strength. Its the same with this if I wake up today and say that cream donut in the fridge for the kids lunch I'll just eat that cause noone will know. Well hay whats the point. i have the key to life I will use it I will embrace it. to all who say it as it is rock on as thats how it needs to be said tough love is the only way sometimes. Everyone else find out why you need to deviate and deal with it love yourself and do a stocktake not only of the pantry but your mind as well.

[lindy]

** BUMP **

Such a good thread and starting to get further from the front.

Everytime I am looking for inspiration or feeling down I look this one up.

Maybe one of the Mods could make it a "Sticky" so all the newbies can see it first just like I did before starting Cohens.

[Andy46]

Its now stuck ...what a great idea......especially as from time too time we have some members who brag and joke about how they have deviated.......then a few days or weeks down the track suddenly admit how they have either fallen completely off the plan or have lost no weight and then have to try and start all over again.

The others who stick 100 % fly through and walk away huge winners with no problems ....... winners are grinners.

A deviation is a recipe for disaster on this special plan !!!!!

If you are not ready to commit to Cohens %100 you are not ready to commit to your self %100 ......and be fair to the plan and your own self - mind body and soul.


Andy

[Victoria]

Hey Asy. You go girl, offended or not we are not doing this because its what everybody is doing these days. We are on the Cohen's because we have tried everything else and it didn't work. Speaking for myself of course tough love is good love, it means you care.

For that i thank you. I have been on the program for a month now and the first month i think i was trying to get my head around everything., and making excuses too.

Can't take anything back so i have a new found respect for not only myself but also for the program. I am on the staright and narrow and have a purpose so if you don't mind i will keep in touch on my jorney cause it's people like yourself that help me to stay focused.

Sometimes you just can't cotton coat things the facts are the facts i want to be healthy and loose weight.

Thanks again
Victoria

[Victoria]

Never ever believe you are alone on this journey. If you remember that and believe in yourself there is no chance you will fail. Everyone on this program knows what you are feeling and if honest has experienced the same feelings at some point.

Place a picture in your mind of what you will look and feel like at the end of the program and hold onto that for motivation.

The weeks are just going to fly buy and before you know it voila!! the weight has just fallen off.

I rule only 100% committment.

LOL to all.
Victoria

[shell]

Another point I have thought of recently.

If you can't stick to the program properly while you are on it by constantly deviating and making excuses, how do you think you will be able learn how to eat better and keep the weight off when you are on maintenance?

It is all about choices-
do you want to do the program properly and get the most out of it
OR
do you want to waste your money and time?

By looking around the forum- you know it works!

Nobody is forcing you to do the program-IT IS ENTIRELY YOUR OWN CHOICE!

[Annabelle Joy]

If you can't stick to the program properly while you are on it by constantly deviating and making excuses, how do you think you will be able learn how to eat better and keep the weight off when you are on maintenance?

I agree wholeheartedly with this statement. I've told myself several times that if I'm to remain slim once I achieve my goal I have a lifetime of monitoring everything I eat ahead of me. That thought is something that has helped me to stay 100% on the programme. If I can't stick to this diet, how can I expect that I will be able to maintain my weight at my goal for many years? For anyone who is having continual deviations, do you think you will be able to control your eating such that you don't put the weight back on when you finish? If the answer is no, Cohen's isn't yet the solution to your problem. I'm sympathetic to your problem, but I think that you need to address your inability to remain on track then do the diet when you are able to control your eating.

AJ

[ConnieK..]

I also Agree Shell and AJ,

There are always occassions, stresses, birthdays, weddings, funerals, illness, etc etc etc. When on maintenance you have to face choices every day, and while you CAN eat everything (you would gain very fast if you did it every day or on every occasion), and sometimes I do .... mostly I don't ... I eat pretty close to Cohens ALL the time. Could I have done this if I had allowed myself to deviate while on the plan .... I don't beleive so!

Connie

[shrinkingTam]

Great topic
This is my second go at Cohens and my last. The first time, I have to admit I just wasn't ready because I used things happening in my life as an excuse to deviate and guess what... I failed
Well not this time - I'm ready for the REAL me to come alive again.
I'm tired of being behind the camera, I'm tired of having to shop in the big peoples clothing stores, I'm tired of hoping I don't run into people I haven't seen for 10 years so they don't see I've put on 30kg.
I want to wear high heels and not have a sore back at the end of the day, I want to go to the beach in summer and feel comfortable in bathers, I want to look slim and healthy, not podgy and pasty.
100% I am doing it this time, and every time I am tempted to deviate, I am going to think of this thread (and if I'm home, come and read it again) to remind myself it's 100% now or a lifetime of letting my self down.

[xoxstefxox]

this was very motivating to read!! im having a "fat day" today and am feeling pretty crummy, but after reading this i feel a bit more motivated.. THANKS!

[Fifty2drop]

Hi all,
i am 30 and a mother to 4 and i attempted to do cohens some years ago, i failed.. I am soon to get my new program.

Some may ask whats changed.. I have changed.

I am new to this forum and have to agree on levels with so many postings..

Yes: we should not cheat or deviate.
Yes: the only ones we hurt are ourselves.
Yes: If, we are deviating its primarily for emotional reasons (Bad Habbits).
Yes: its our choice.. this is for us

Deviations are deviations not matter how small or big.
We need to ask ourselves why? what was the reason?.. We need acknowledge that reason and make every attempt to resolve it, to learn from it and best of all move on and continue on our cohens path, to journey forward and the next time be stonger and more confident.. We are re-teaching ourselves, breaking old habbits that we have had for many years, its a hard path, and we must keep in mind that we are, by choice, sacrificing todays pleasures and bad habbits for tomorrows happiness and health.
Always Remember while doing cohens to be kind to yourself and treat yourself well. congratulate yourself on your achievement no matter what it is, even if its just saying No...

People who fail cohens (I inc) tend to because they have more underlying issues and lets face it if we didnt we wouldnt be here.... Cohens is a great program and after 5 years of dealing with my emotions and issues i feel at a point where i can invest in my future health and get a new program.. I have dealt with many issues, crisis and emotions and do not plan on making the same mistakes.

Sometimes we all just need a good kick up the but or a new perspective on our choices or reassurance and support or a cheer squad to congratulate us on our achievements. i believe that's why we are all here posting on the forum. Most of all i believe we need to be honest with ourselves and our health and others.

I wish you all good luck on your journey and hope to read of your progress.. Congratulations to all of you who have completed and are offering their advice and experience.

Fifty2drop

[dmon]

Hi everyone,
Interesting thread.....and how true
One thing I was told that really helped me to stay on track was if you deviate, remember it will effect your weight loss by a week

Good luck to everyone.

[Shanara]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to say a big thank you to Shel who posted a link to the American website back in April. It is an article which explains what actually happens in your body when you deviate - I think its called 'Have you fallen off the bus?'

To me this explains so clearly how the cycle works and how each organ is affected. This post has really changed my life. For years I have been in this insulin spiking pattern but didn't really know what was happening in my body. NOW I DO! I will never look at carbs and sugars again in the same light. Am ont saying I will never eat them again however I will see them in a different light. It is no wonder I couldn't loose weight before - my body was in a cycle i couldn't break because I didn't know enough to know how to.

So Shel :



This one post has changed my life. And when people in the forum say they are really having trouble with the deviation demon I often direct them to this article as well. More than one has said it has also helped them.

I think Cohens Clinics could give a copy of this article in the packs they send out - if able to under copyright - because just saying "don't deviate" doesn't work as well as saying "this is what happens in your body when oy deviate" - imho.

For those who missed it - here it is http://www.1pdforum.com/showthread.php?t=40

Shel

With huge thanks
Shanara

[shell]

Thanks Shanara,
I am so glad it could be of help to you & hopefuly others.

Sometimes you just find things that "click" and make sense.

Shell

[assweetasyou]

thanks for this guys....that was really powerful!! It sure made me not want to crash my ONLY car!

[tiina121]

Well i am like Bitten a newbie (today is my first day) and i am SOO glad that this was the first thread i read! thanku all for cementing my resolve further. i have gotten the comments "but its nearly christmas, why not start after?"...there's always an excuse if you want to find one - christmas, easter, birthdays, weddings, parties, holidays, hey just cos its friday!! no more!

[Fifty2drop]

Thanks for that link... Since obtaining my new program i have to admit i am a little less forgiving of the deviation.. The Link is great thank you,Shanara and Shel..
I have my 4 week blood tests tomorrow.. So fingers crossed...
Once again Thank you...