Faithy's Diary

[Almost Eden]

No worries beautifull...I'm glad I could help. Even if just a little. Huggles

AE.

[Nelle]

hey faithy,

i know i'm repeating what everyone else is saying but I am so incredibly proud of you and I have never really met you except on here.
I'm going to make a slight admission - in your refeed diary u mentioned the clinic ladies saying that there were some people who would like to meet you? The other week when i was in at like 830 am they said you were coming in at about 930 and I was almost begging to hang around so that I could meet you lol I promise i'm not a stalker just in awe of the amazing work you have done for yourself this past year. I have been here as long as you, had nearly a 1\4 of the weight to lose that you had, and yet I'm still not finished. so I am VERY amazed with you...

oh and in relation to the wonderful things you DH said - mine is absolutely amazing with those sorts of comments but the best thing ever has been my sister telling me that she is proud of me - this is NOT something I EVER thought I would hear come out of my sisters mouth. she might be supportive and that sort of thing for most things but never in my life has she said something like that. it was in that moment that I knew just how far i had come. She is also overweight and has tried several other diets and no matter what i show her about cohens she won't do it... I wish she would though I think she would be a much happier person for it... there is also the added benefit of my family no longer hasseling me about my weight (they pick on her now) because my dad used to say some VERY nasty things which were incredibly hurtful and while they were true, they were still not nice. Now he asks me how much i weigh now, what size my clothes are, how much more do I have to go and all that stuff... it's really nice to know he is happy with me too... he actually asked if i had put on weight the other day lol he said he was getting used to me at this size now so it doesn't look like i am losing as much lol i told him just wait til i'm finished! lol

the other thing i was going to say is - in relation to the sausages - you can buy gluten free sausages which when you cook them actually have WAAAY less fat and nasty stuff like that in them and they are actually really nice - much nicer then normal sausages. perhaps when you are up to it you could try even just half of one of these and see how you go. I know quite a lot of people who eat these that have problems like coeliacs (or however you spell it) that don't have any issues... but of course this is just a suggestion...

nelle
xoxo

sorry for hogging the page!

[Faithy]

Thanks again AE... a huggle is exactly what I needed

Hey Nelle ..

Ahhhhh so it was you :P .. Well we'll have to do something about that wont we .. We'll have to MAKE this meeting up in Canberra thing work..

Parents sure can be so cruel.. that's sad that your Dad feels the need to make harsh comments.. perhpas though that is his way of asking you to do something about your weight because he's worried about you?
As for your sister.. well we can talk & talk to someone until the cows come home.. unless they have it within themselves to want to do something they wont.. they may even sign up for a program, this program.. but unless it's deep within them to want to do this, they'll fail..
I actually really appreciate this comment from you Nelle.. it's quite possibly the biggest encouragement I have received so far.. this means the world to me & I just can't thank you enough for taking the time to write this, especially now.
Thank you for the advice on the sausages.. it's so weird that I reacted that way.. I seriously thought JUST ONE wouldn't hurt.. & man did it ever :P.. Perhaps I will try the ones you mention some day but for now I'm going to be a lean meat girl for quite some time.. my body just isn't ready for food like that just yet & may well never be..
You are doing so well.. & the fact that your Dad is being more positive just shows how far you've come.. dont compare yourself to me, or to anyone else for that matter.. our bodies are all different & react in different ways.. your body will lose the weight at the right rate for you .. just hang in there as much as possible & you'll make it ..

Sending you MASSIVE hugs... Hope to meet up with you real soon XXX

Well today has gone a lot better than I expected.. the day is not yet over but I have decided to just take a day at a time.. When I get through today I will worry about tomorrow when it arrives.. I have set a goal in mind weight wise & when I reach that goal I have picked out a reward & I'll go & get that reward THAT day that I make my goal.. I've asked Hubby to keep a watchful eye on me too.. he kind of doesn't really know why I'm worried about going up a bit in weight, but I said to him that my goal is where I want to be for now.. Even though SOOO many people are like sooo what??!! It matters to me..

So today I was really good until about 2 or 3 o'clock & then those wonderful messages pop in to my brain.. "it's OK to eat this" "it's OK to eat that" "just one wont hurt".. & so it went on ALL afternoon.. I decided that I was going to tell my brain NO!!!!!! And ate an apple instead.. then when I got home from work I got changed in to one of my sexy new track suits (LOL) & took the dog for a walk.. A much better idea than sitting down to a chocolate or 2 dont you think??

Anyway, I'm about to go jump in to a nice hot bath (it's so cold here today) & then watch a movie with Hubby..

HUGS to everyone.. hope your week goes well XXX

[Annabelle Joy]

Sounds like you're taking control of your food urges, Faithy. Well done.

AJ

[Faithy]

Thanks again AJ..

I posted this in my re-feed diary but it's probably more suited here?? Not sure but anyway here is where it's going as well :P

Originally Posted by Faithy

Yeah it's amazing how scary this whole thing is.. but I think I have now taken a good strong hold of myself, of my emotions & when I keep myself together in my head I'm OK every where else..

It may sound a bit odd but I was only thinking last night & this morning how my relationship with food is very much connected with how I behaved in my past. I was so out of control in my own head years ago.. the way I let people treat me, the way I responded & reacted to people, to events.. just basically no control over myself but letting out side influences control me. So I suppose the one thing I 'thought' I had control over was what I put in my mouth, so I'd 'treat' myself & often, like daily.. the foods that I thought were yummy & would comfort me.. 'self soothing' I spose is the correct terminology. Or maybe 'self medicating'..

Now on the weekend I did over do it a bit.. but I knew when I went in to the weekend that I was going to indulge a little. It was a planned weekend & I also knew before hand that the scales were going to go up a little.. what I didn't know was that I was going to react so badly to one perhaps 2 particular foods & the other thing I didn't know was that I was going to totally lose my emotions & control over that.. Yesterday was so good for me.. I MADE myself settle down. I processed the crazy thoughts that I had running through my head & I came out in front. So many times my head said go on, you've stuffed up, what's a little bit more going to hurt.. .. But I KNEW if I gave in YET AGAIN that I would have myself on that crazy roller coaster ride once more.. it HAS to end & it has to end now!!!!

Last night when I went to bed I felt so damn good knowing that I had beaten the day, the day didn't beat me...

This morning my reward was a kilo & a half drop over night .. the biggest loss yet.. it settles my emotions even more because I know the little bit left to go will be totally gone by the weekend..

This morning I was up at 5.30am as per usual (still dont know what's with that).. & I went for an awesome early morning walk.. the sun was rising & the view as I walked down the hill from my house was just magnificent.. After my walk I had my usual yoghurt with just a few small pieces of fresh pineapple & one crisp bread.. I felt content & satisfied & drank about a litre of water & my multi-vitamin.. Later today I'll have either my chicken chow mien or chicken & cauliflower soup & again for dinner I'll have my meat with spinach & tomato.. I'll keep up eating this way till I feel I need to change something or it's not enough.. I'm happy for those scales to take me to where ever they feel comfortable.. but as I said yesterday, when I reach my goal again I'm going to reward myself..
I tried on some Levi jeans on the weekend.. Hubby wanted to buy them for me but again *rolls eyes* I felt guilty so I didn't end up getting them.. they were a size 10 & they made my disappearing back side look pretty hot (bit sad it's disappearing really).. so I've decided I will get them ONLY WHEN I reach that goal & I'll have to stay at that goal if I wish to continue to wear them :P

HUGS

[Almost Eden]

I'm so happy that you are back in a good place faithy...I knew you could get it together and get back on track. Well done Miss Lovely...keep up the phenominal work. Huggles

AE.

[FotoHijinx]

Hello my gorgeous Faithy Girl - sorry I haven't popped in more often but I still keep up with your diary as (don't tell anyone), but you are one of my favourites

Sounds like you are getting on with life in true traditional Faithy way - sometimes overthinking things but always coming to the right realisation - so good to see.

Kiss that boy of yours for me and tell him if he is still in a spoiling mood I'll hop on a plane and be right over!

Hope you have a great evening.

Cheers
Irene

[Aloha]

You looked absolutely amazing on Today Tonight......Simply Beautiful....Thank you for being such an inspiration.......

[mesmer_eyes]

Hi Faithy!

I read through your diary in 1 sitting and OMG you are an inspiration! Your journey has been wonderful and the support you recieved is awesome.

I actually came across you (Faithy) when I was looking for recipes, and I copied almost everything you have recommended, they seem so tasty.

I just started 4days back and I know my weightloss requirement is not the same as yours, but Im already starting to feel that this is moving at a snail's pace. After reading your diary, a 90kg loss was just jaw dropping and that gave me the mindset of time, that it will pass anyhow so that I should make every day count, do my CD program right, and my weight will melt off before I know it. Nothing is worst than reaching that goal time limit and being in the exact (or even worse) state than I was at the time I started.

Im really happy that I came across your dairy. You are awesome!