heidimama's Diary - Page 4

Heidimama · #61 06-10-2016, 06:22

Thanks for the visit and the excellent point about food obsession, NMW. Soooo true. So if we can rearrange our thinking, we can keep the weight off.

As I just posted in your diary, I have not slept well probably because of this cold trying to catch me. Grr. But I will go in to work later than usual as I have an evening meeting.

OK, going to watch some Netflix and see if I can get back to sleep.

Heidimama · #62 07-10-2016, 00:27

So the long day is over and I did great! I had my usual M3 for breakfast about about 6:30 and and a cold, not-so-tasty M2 for lunch at 12:30. Worked all afternoon.

Then I went to my work meeting at 6:00 pm, where they served up individual boxes of sushi. I had kinda thought about how to avoid eating my sushi without drawing attention to myself, but only one person commented. Everyone was so busy tucking into their own boxes, they didn't care! Go figure! I gave away my sushi box! I wasn't even tempted to look at it! I love(d)? sushi and can easily put away a lot of it.

I got home after 9 and had my yogurt and fruit. And I feel satisfied. I love the blood sugar stabilizing power of this plan! I can go almost nine hours without eating, and still function intelligently and pleasantly. Huge for me!

BUT...

a pair of M size silk PJs I ordered from eBay arrived last night. The top fits fine, but the bottoms are a little tight in the thighs and buttocks. And I thought about returning them for an L. That tells me that I am doubting that I will be thin. Sad. I even put them in the package to return them before coming to my senses this morning. Of course I will be thin enough to wear the pants comfortably!! And probably in one month! And then they will be loose in a couple of months.

I need to work on those little doubts.

I am not craving sugar and rubbish at all, thank God.

I am probably not going to stay up for the two required hours - I will jump into bed after a shower. If I fall asleep, I fall asleep. I am still nursing this stupid cold, and after not sleeping well last night, I need to rest.

Also, even without my walk this AM, I still got in over 13,000 steps today!

OK, good night all. Skinny dreams!

Soleil · #63 07-10-2016, 05:32

You're doing fantastically!!! Well done!!!

Don't return your silk pj's, I can assure you'll be fitting the pyjama bottoms in no time

Try them on once a week and see the difference, it'll be so rewarding! It is only a couple of weeks back I was writing on my diary how excited I was to be a perfect L size and enjoying how the clothes looked nice on me, well this week they're all starting to sag a fair bit and all I can think is thank the lord I haven't bought any bigger size clothing as that would have been such a waste of money. Keep your size M and think that'll be the largest size you'll ever find in your cupboard ever again. As soon as I'm a few weeks into being a size M I'm planning to donate all of my large size clothing to charity, that way it's a very clear decision

Keep up the excellent job!!!

Soleil xx

Heidimama · #64 07-10-2016, 12:18

Thanks, Soleil! I love the encouragement, and seeing your ticker. We have similar start and finish weights, so it helps me to imagine what I have to look forward to. Yep, great idea, I will keep trying the PJ bottoms on every week.

Taking the day off today because of this cold and because I can. I am being kind to myself and making my health a priority. And I can do some work online.

I had M3 for breakfast with a piece of fruit and still felt hungry after, but that is probably because I waited more than an hour after waking up to eat. I am back in bed and now thank God, the hungry monster is gone.

Going to catch up on my TV shows and online tasks.

Heidimama · #65 08-10-2016, 00:14

Day 6 is done. Glad I could have some time off as my cold was a little worse today. I have been taking a lot of vitamin c. I would take zinc tablets if they didn't make me feel nauseated. Not taking any cold meds cause I usually just let colds run their course. I made soup for M2, which was satisfying. I will make some more tomorrow.

I feel fat. But just trying to stay positive.

Looking at the old photo diaries here is very motivating.

Skinny dreams, all!

StrongerThanSheKnows · #66 08-10-2016, 08:23

Great job! Day 6 over! Wahoo. You are getting through the worst of it and a cold all at once. Smart to be kind to yourself and take some down time. It is well-deserved!
I love soup when I'm feeling extra hungry, it just feels like a "normal" size meal and that makes me feel more satisfied. Its also perfect when you're a little under the weather.
Keep up the good work, you're well on your way now. Don't worry about the feeling fat business, that will be over in no time and you'll be feeling leaner every day. It really is amazing how much your body will change, and how quickly. Take progress pictures, its such a good motivator. I take them every 2 weeks and I truly can see a difference each time.

Heidimama · #67 08-10-2016, 22:35

Thanks for the good wishes, STSK. I really should take progress pics. Tomorrow.

Day 7 over and it was fine. My cold is annoying because I feel like resting will help it go away faster, but I miss my walks and yoga. I hope I feel well enough to get back into it by Monday.

I spent a lot of time here reading old diaries today and there is lots of wisdom there. One was the idea of loving yourself more than food. Sounds so simple, right? And another woman, after losing about 18kg (halfway to her goal) said her favorite part of the day was now getting dressed in the morning, after years of barely getting out of her PJs for work. And I can so relate to that. I LOVE fashion and love looking nice and planning my wardrobe for the upcoming season, but it is not nearly as fun at this weight. I am doing lots of visualizing, imagining myself in all kinds of outfits. I kept all my skinny clothes (from 10 years ago) and last summer I was back in a lot of them, except for the really tiny things. I will be back in them soon enough and I will stay in them because I am so done with this weight battle.

TMI alert - skip the next bit if you are eating or squeamish.

Oh, another really good thing about this plan is what it does for the digestive system and pooping. With bread and rice (even whole grains) and processed rubbish and sugar I had these big poops that were hard to get out, causing hemmorrhoids at least once a week or so, even with the same supplements I take now and the same amount of water. Now with the stuff I am eating, it is easy to go, small, and pleasant.

I very foolishly did not weigh myself when I started again last Sunday, so my ticker starting weight is probably not accurate. But what can you do? The important thing is that the scale is moving down.

It is time for me to go to bed now - I hit the 2 hours after dinner mark.

Skinny dreams!

Nomoreweighting · #68 09-10-2016, 08:45

Congratulations on a great start and weight loss.

I have been stalking diaries too for ideas and motivation, didn't quite work yesterday.

Keep up the great work, you'll be in those size 10's in not time.

Trudy

Heidimama · #69 09-10-2016, 22:12

Thanks, NMW. Keeping my eyes on all those size 10s indeed. Your goals in your signature have encouraged me to come up with my own.

I am 3 kg away from my first goal. Not sure how I will reward myself - oh, I know, I have some makeup in my online Sephora basket. Maybe I will go ahead with the purchase for goal one? Not sure about the subsequent goals, but goodness, they will be rewards in themselves, won't they?

I think if I have normal to low BP (as I always had before I got this big) at the end of this, I will be ecstatic. That has been my health concern. I have to trust it will be normal again.

I'm feeling much better now. My cold is on its way out and I guess the feel-good hormones are kicking in? Took it very easy today again, not doing anything really productive, but the day was pleasant. I spent a lot of time reading diaries, which is a way of keeping my head in the game.

One more cool thing about this lifestyle is how much less garbage I am generating. When I was eating junk, I would have lots of bags/containers/plastic and as I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, I remarked that there was only one tiny bag.

OK, shower and couch time before bed.

Skinny dreams, all!

Soon2BSlim · #70 10-10-2016, 01:57

Oh HM you are doing brilliantly well! I am so impressed! Well done!!

Keep up the good work!

Louise

mesmer_eyes · #71 10-10-2016, 18:24

Hello HM!

Just caught up on your diary and congrats on getting over the first week! Have you tried the PJs again?

Looking forward to more progress..

Heidimama · #72 10-10-2016, 22:18

Hi Louise and M.E.! I LOVE seeing messages in my diary, so TY for the encouragement.

M.E. I haven't tried the PJ bottoms yet- the weight always comes from my top half first, so giving it another week. I will def let you all know any good news on that front!

Day 9 done and dusted. I thought I was completely over my cold and so went for a walk, which was probably a mistake. I felt a bit drained and took a quick nap and rested.

I tried to have one less fruit than usual and it was OK. I LOVE my fruit, and am allowed three, but I want to try to have only two, splitting the breakfast dinner fruit into two serves. I will see how I feel - if I am hungry, I will just have all three, of course.

I am trying my best not to eat between meals as snacking is my downfall and just keeps me hungry and thinking about food.

Back to work tomorrow after the long weekend.

Still feeling really positive about this plan. OK, going to move my ticker - yes, I am weighing every day, contrary to my earlier plan. It is just so exciting to get up in the morning and see the scale going down, even if it is a small drop like today.

Skinny dreams!

Soon2BSlim · #73 11-10-2016, 17:55

It sounds like you are well on your way HM! 9 days down and you'll be entering the zone before long.

I love my fruit too but only get 2 on plan. Have you found it makes a difference to your weight loss if you don't have all 3 fruit? I remember reading somewhere about someone not eating all their crackers, hoping it would help with the weight loss , but in the end finding that they needed them and the weight loss not being affected by the crackers. Just curious

Keep up the great work!

Louise

Heidimama · #74 11-10-2016, 23:08

Hi Louise! Thanks always for popping in. Suddenly autumn is here - nice chilly day today

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soon2BSlim

Have you found it makes a difference to your weight loss if you don't have all 3 fruit? I remember reading somewhere about someone not eating all their crackers, hoping it would help with the weight loss , but in the end finding that they needed them and the weight loss not being affected by the crackers.

I remember when I followed a similar plan to Cohen's last summer that when I cut one of the fruit, my weight loss definitely picked up. The carb count in each fruit is pretty significant. Today, because I was at work and was active and hungry, I ended up wanting all three fruit. But on more sedentary days, having just one can be a good idea for me.

Incidentally, I haven't been eating the crackers- - to me, saltines are sooooo delicious and provoke that binge monster in me. I do have some brown rice crackers in the cupboard that are extremely bland (made of only brown rice flour and water) that I will turn to if I am desperate, but so far, I do not need them.

Long answer, huh?

Feel free to ask me anything. I love talking about this and only do it with you guys here - no one else is interested.

Day 10 is done. Food was fine. I had M1 for lunch, which I usually prefer to have at night, but I was not organized enough this morning. However, it was kinda nice to have a hot, fresh meal for dinner. Not sure what I will do tomorrow...

It was not an easy day - I am being asked to do some work that I didn't expect to do until next year. Now I am being told that it is better for me to do it now, with a deadline of January 10. I am annoyed, but just keep turning it over to the universe. I have enough on my plate now with the work I have and getting my health together. I have said I will submit a plan by the end of the month - we shall see. To be honest, I am planning to leave this job in 2018, so I really don't care about making a good long-term impression. The money is nice, but the unhealthy people and atmosphere? Egos, boozy parties with bad food, dissatisfaction, dysfunctional relationships, pettiness, inability to communicate directly, blah, blah...

The great thing is, I did not turn to my old frenemy, chocolate, or even think of deviating today. My health is still, or really, more than ever, my priority. Everything else comes second. I just worked on my work goals for the day, and will work in the extra work where I can. And if I can't finish it, I do not care. Normally, a situation like this would have had me stressed out and trying to jump through hoops, all the while medicating myself with food. Not anymore.

OK, rambling, but it is good for me to put into words all that was going through my head this afternoon.

Off to check your diaries and then shower and bed.

Skinny dreams!

Soon2BSlim · #75 12-10-2016, 15:13

Thanks for your reply Heidimamma. It was exactly what I wanted to know. Interesting that you found the additional fruit made such a difference! I think it would be interesting too to have a look behind the scenes and see how the powers that be read our blood tests and decide what our prescription should be. Not that I would necessarily understand it but to see the slight differences between blood tests and say this person should have 3 fruit but that one should have 2 for instance.

Well done for sticking to your plan despite your hard day at work. I know only too well how those tough days can totally derail your best efforts and I'm proud of you for hanging in there and making your health your priority.

I hope today is easier for you.

BTW I love reading rambling posts - so often I'm nodding my head and agreeing with what's being said. It helps others to feel they are not alone in this journey either. There are others out there who are struggling with the same issues and thoughts and only someone who has been there knows how many times a day we have to say no to ourselves regarding some food or craving. It's a constant battle but hopefully one that gets a little easier as we learn to love our new bodies.

Louise

Heidimama · #76 12-10-2016, 22:57

Hi Louise! I am Michelle, by the way. Feels good to read your words - they mean a lot to me and motivate me to keep going. I am curious about the blood tests and our food "prescriptions" too.

Day 11 over. I find I sometimes get very hungry a couple of hours after breakfast and lunch (usually M3, M2) and then after a certain point, it just disappears. It is good to know.

Tomorrow will be a long day, and I had meat and fish in the fridge that needed to be either cooked or frozen so I just went ahead and cooked 3 meals. The fiddly weighing and cooking in separate pans is not fun at all. I am sure it has been said before, but it would be so much easier to cook 2 batches of veg and protein and weigh it into 14 portions. But I guess the point is we should have variety in our meals, and learn good habits about portions as we prepare meals daily? Having to run to the supermarket to pick up more meat and fish to balance out the portions was really annoying, but I am willing to do it. Definitely need to be better organized next week.

OK, I need to get ready for bed as it has been nearly two hours since dinner. I am tired.

Edit: Forgot to say the scale didn't move this morning. Sedentary days often have bigger losses than active ones. Today was even more active than yesterday, so who knows what will happen? But trusting the process.

Skinny dreams, all!

Soon2BSlim · #77 13-10-2016, 12:32

I agree with you about the fiddly weighing and separate pans when making our meals and often think that if I was to win lotto or something I would hire someone to do my cooking

Imagine how easy it would be to lose weight if all we had to do was show up for the meal and not have to think about food in between

I also tend to stick to a similar eating pattern, with regards to types of food, for days at a time.

Aah, dream on Louise!!

Long days can be tough too and then you get so tired that there's no energy left to even think about making the right food choices but hang in there Michelle, you're doing well!

Louise

Heidimama · #78 13-10-2016, 22:18

Ah, Louise, to have a Cohen chef! We can dream, can't we?

As I was pulling the plastic wrap off of my nuked meals today, they reminded me of airline food (in portion size and appearance only, not in taste, thank God). I think I will spend cook a bunch of meals this weekend, because the convenience of just grabbing something from the fridge when I got home at 19:30 was awesome.

Today is day 12. At some point, I will stop counting, I expect.

No change in the scales again today.

I was very close forbidden sweets at work today, but they did not have the power over me they had 12 days ago. I am soooo grateful, but also painfully aware that with one bite, I would be right back where I started. Maybe one day in the very distant future....

One more day before the weekend.

Skinny dreams!

Winterboots · #79 14-10-2016, 06:50

I'm not sure which is better/worse - to be at home all day with full fridges/biscuit jars but plenty of time to cook (though my meals are pretty plain and boring) or having to juggle work and appointments around the 5 hour rule along with coming home tired and then having to prepare two meals etc.

You will coming up to two weeks - well done as you are two weeks closer to goal.

Happy weekend
WB

Heidimama · #80 14-10-2016, 20:39

Winterboots! I have recently discovered your diaries and have been getting a ton of enlightenment from them. Thank you for commenting - I am a little star-struck.

I really appreciate the fact that you still come around, inspiring the rest of us, showing us what successful maintenance can look like.

And I think being busy, away from the house, distracted by outside work, definitely makes the plan easier. I just need to prep my meals better, weighing and bagging all the portions of meat/fish for the week.

A 200g drop in the scales this AM. But when I shower, my upper body feels way leaner. And when I looked in the mirror this morning, I could see a definite difference. I tried on a fitted shirt I couldn't button up before I started and I can close it now. I would give it another couple of weeks before I wear it to work, but it felt good. And I can now zip up my old jeans; however, with a shockingly unpleasant muffin top as they are low-waisted, but I couldn't get them over my hips last time I tried, so .... progress.

But good grief, was I hungry this afternoon!!! I had M3 for breakfast and thank God I got thru the stuff that took serious concentration within 3 hours of arriving at the office. And I wasn't that hungry at lunch time, just ready to eat. But almost immediately after my itty-bitty boiled egg and cuke/tomato plus tiny tangerine M1 lunch, I was stark raving starving. My stomach just felt soooooo empty, and no water would take that hunger away. I eventually left work early because I was so ravenous and knew that if I stayed there I would get irrational and deviate. Does that sound crazy?

So I came home via the store (fruit and meat for tomorrow morning) and had some tea and a portion of those bland no-threat-of-bingeing brown rice crackers. Today was the first day I needed them and y'know what? I was sooo glad they were there. And then I distracted myself with some correspondence. And the hunger pangs died down after a while. By the time 5 hours had passed, I was able to wait, go figure.

I need to keep a pack of those crackers in my office. And I must restock the fridge with fruit for the week - I ate the last tangerine today. Because , really, I was very lucky to be able to leave early today - that will not always be an option. And I need to have M2 for lunch as M1 just will not cut it some days.

Lessons learned.

Going to have a very early night tonight, thank God.

Skinny dreams!