An outsider's thoughts on "You've lost enough!!"

[Alana85]

Hi everyone,
I remember when I was 10kgs of goal weight, I had lost 35kgs and was feeling fantastic! I went to visit some family who had only seen me as the largers person that I used to be. Their comments were as expected 'oh wow alana you look fantastic' and so on. These comments kept on coming with every day and new great outfits that I had purchased for my last goal I had acheived... and you know what? I think I let these comments get to me and I said to myself 'yes I do look great don't I? well I might just have that piece of cake with my coffee, and yes I might have a rglass of wine tonight because I really do look good and it wont hurt'... how wrong was I? Once I started on that vicious train of thought, here I am today I have put 20kgs back on and I need to start the program again. Had I not listened to them and kept with my program I wouldn't have to go through all my hard work again! SO please when people tell you that you don't need to lose weight, take it with a grain of salt and keep up the great work!
Alana

[New2cohens]

i totally understand alana, we trick ourselves pyschologically right? i have lost weight more times than i can count, and at the end, i just feel so indomitable and untouchable i kid myself that calories no longer matter!!! but they do, and they creep back. i have also vowed to never let that slide happen again! and really am focussed on keeping this weight off for life, not just for right now. it is a hard habit to kick but for me, cohens has really taught me about portion control and the effect sugar has on my cravings. and i just cant wait to feel sexy, in control and beyonce like! (she is my idol!!!). Take each day as it comes

[Panda]

What an interesting discussion. I look forward to friends telling me I am too thin! But I do understand from past experience that people do this. Part of it I am sure is also a little psychological ..... "I want you to look good/slim, but not necessary slimmer or better than me!!" It's weird but true. As Pudge said, if she was living in Kentucky and thin - people would think she was back to normal. It's how people relate to you, and they have to reset their thinking about you being thin as much as you do.

I understand this about Cohens:
The Cohens plan manages insulin by balancing the carbs and protein you eat. This stimulates the right combination of hormones in your body to use fat cells for energy. That's how you don't get cravings and some of the other horrors of dieting or insulin resistance. Cohens offers a brilliant promise - if you get down to the goal weight Dr Cohen specifies, your body insulin will reset itself. When you refeed, you are programming your body to eat a normal diet and to remain at it's desired healthy body weight. All you have to do is follow the guidelines to maintain that and have a happy life.

In order for this process to happen, you have to be right down at the necessary weight. You can't reset the insulin or stop insulin resistance while you are still carrying excess fat.

Maybe it would help to explain this to friends. It's actually a medical process that helps lead to good health, and has nothing to do with how you look.

[jlou]

Very good point Panda... Will work on a script for that and rehearse it !! But I think I will start using the "I'm almost there" line too...

[mumandnana]

Originally Posted by Panda

I understand this about Cohens:
The Cohens plan manages insulin by balancing the carbs and protein you eat. This stimulates the right combination of hormones in your body to use fat cells for energy. That's how you don't get cravings and some of the other horrors of dieting or insulin resistance. Cohens offers a brilliant promise - if you get down to the goal weight Dr Cohen specifies, your body insulin will reset itself. When you refeed, you are programming your body to eat a normal diet and to remain at it's desired healthy body weight. All you have to do is follow the guidelines to maintain that and have a happy life.

In order for this process to happen, you have to be right down at the necessary weight. You can't reset the insulin or stop insulin resistance while you are still carrying excess fat.

Maybe it would help to explain this to friends. It's actually a medical process that helps lead to good health, and has nothing to do with how you look.

Wow Panda, this is so clear and concise!! Thanks for putting it so it is easily understood. Have the best of days.

[Shanara]

One of the things I did to avert these comments was to actually bring it up first as I was approaching the pointy end - as Koh says.

Had chats with family and close friends agreeing with them that my weight loss was amazing but that they would have to trust me to complete it in the right way. Told them that if I just came off programme without refeed I would quickly put the weight back on and I didn't want to do that. Said you will probably look at me and feel I am looking too thin and a bit peaky but trust me to do the process of refeed and within two months after that i promise the "too thin' look will have gone as any remaining fat redistributes across my body.

They were great and I only got support. They were also able to voice to me their concerns but because I had already flagged it with them it was not a taboo subject so only came across as concern. When and if some did raise it I could quickly say - remember I said you would feel like this and that's ok - know it is just oyu being concerned for my welfare but just remember I know what I am doing. Trust me.
They did.

Shanara

[Bvk73]

I have found that this time around because I have a wardrobe that ranges from size 8 - size 16/18 that as I have lost weight this time, I have made sure that I wear clothes that fit me, rather than clothes that are really baggy because I have lost weight. So not too many people have actually commented about the weight loss at all.

This has both been nice that people are not judging me but also a bit frustrating because you want people to notice and compliment you on how well you are doing....

[lets.get.started]

I still have about 20 kilo's to lose or more but people are already saying I will be skin and bone by then, or maybe a few more kilo's more but no more. My reply is "what you think I'm going to look better than you if I lose all that??"

Some people just dont get that most people have been battling weight their whole life and just becaus ethats how they have seen you for the past x amount of years doesnt mean you wanted to be like that or that you wanted to stay like that. I often here people complain that they have put on a few kilo's (often leaving me think - where?? from your eyebrows) but usually these people are saying I used to fit in a size 6 now I am a size 8.

Poeple should keep negative opinions to themselves regarding weight loss. Its a tough road but we are all on it at sometime in our lives - its just that some roads are straight and some are hilly with bumps and corners.

I say Happy losing losers... LOL

[Kohinoor]

Hi LGS,

I still have about 20 kilo's to lose or more but people are already saying I will be skin and bone by then, or maybe a few more kilo's more but no more.

I really believe most people have NO concept of just how an extra 20Kgs "changes the look" of a person. Like me - Kgs are really "fuzzy" when trying to envisage how you might look when they are gone.

Most people's perceptions have just a few bus stops :-
1. Anorexic
2. Too skinny
3. Spot on
4. A little chubby
5. Overweight
6. Too overweight
7. At risk

Now, those Bus stops cover a range from (maybe) 50Kgs to 150Kgs + and each of those ranges (the middle ranges that is) might encompass a 20Kg range, more or less. But really, WE only have our eyes, while YOU have the scales.

"20Kgs" really means little to us, but it SOUNDS like a lot. And it might just be THAT reaction you are hearing, LGS.

Koh

[Kohinoor]

After 4 months "in the wilderness", it's time for another *bump*

Koh

[EdwardQ]

Fantastic Koh.
Again- the 'you've lost enough' comments are at the same weight previouly they were saying 'too fat' and i guess people get accustomed to the size they normally see us and because Cohens is quick (27 kgs in just over 9 weeks for me, halfway!).
I guess people would certainly say 'you've gotten too fat' if it was the reverse situation.

[mcpsych]

Yep, my next stop hopefully Monday I enter the overweight rather than obese category
already I get the " you don't have much more to lose surely?"
ah well

[divineparadise]

I keep getting this comment too and my mum has been the one telling me to stop dieting. I was like, "NO WAY!" and she is the one always complaining that I am fat and should go on a diet and now that I am ON a diet and successful but not at my goal weight she wants me to stop! What DA!?

[Kohinoor]

Hi DP,

she is the one always complaining that I am fat and should go on a diet and now that I am ON a diet and successful but not at my goal weight she wants me to stop!

Just like me, DP, she has quite a fuzzy view of true weight. Fortunately, YOU know better, and know your goal weight too.

I've got $10 that says, once you have done Refeed, and maintained for a month or two, Mum will be SO pleased with "the finished result" that any earlier comments will have been forgotten (by her, at least ).

In the end, this is your walk - so don't let anyone else divert you from it (they don't have "on the line" what you do). Flapping gums is easy - getting in and doing stuff is FAR harder !!

Rock on, DP

Koh

[Never Give Up]

some times I wonder if it's cos people are jealous -I don't think they mean to be but because you're shrinking quickly, coping with life, looking good, are happy they feel uneasy. You challenge peoples perception of who you are - from fat/frumpy/boring to slim/happy/interesting/wired, so I say, DON'T LISTEN, just smile and nod and don't give it another thought

lesley

[forfreddie]

Oooh I smell an opportunity to have a rant!!

Why is it always the real skinnies that tell you you have lost too much?
Why do the same people never make any comments as you merrily pile on the punds?
Why is there no pleasing your mother?!!!

ff

[Kohinoor]

Hi FF,

Why is it always the real skinnies that tell you you have lost too much?

Umm, maybe they don't want the competition?

Why do the same people never make any comments as you merrily pile on the pounds?

Umm, maybe they don't want the competition?

Why is there no pleasing your mother?!!!

PASS !!



Koh

[mcpsych]

oy veh, you never call, i could be laying on the floor dead
i was in labour for 12 years with you but do you care
hehehehehehehehehehehheeh

[louise41]

Great thread! I have a friend who has always been naturally skinny and she said she gets sick of people telling her she is too thin. She says she doesnt tell people they are too fat and she wishes people would just leave her alone!

One of my happiest moments was when someone described someone as scrawny, then looked at me and said they were about my size!!! Take is as a compliment and as a sign you have really changed!!!

[Kohinoor]

After 3 months in the wilderness, and more people approaching that "stop now" time, this is worth a Bump..... so,

BUMP !!