LouLou's Diary

[lucylou]

OOOPS. Sorry Andy I was reading the Smilies thread and realised I'd used yours by mistake, it won't happen again.

There's a lot to learn with the new forum.

x
LL

[Andy46]

Lucy you can use my "girl" smilies any time you wish - it is for every one to use - it was a joke some time ago about things said.

Do you want me to fix your date of birth up - email me your details if you do.

So good to see your progress and that you are having a win - great to see and very soon you will down the road and looking and feeling much better - so stick with it and soon you will the new you.

Have a good one mate your on a winner from here in !!!!

Andy

[Annabelle Joy]

Those pants won't be too small for long, LouLou. In fact, it won't be too long and they'll begin to look baggy. If you're like me, kept all my clothes on every diet suspecting I'd need them again, knowing that you can now give them away because you will never need them again is very liberating.

I agree, relationship with self is most important.

AJ

[lucylou]

Thanks Andy and AJ. I'll keep on trudging down the road of happy destiny!

Today I went to brunch at a friend's house and ate a mandarin while everyone else at three platefulls of everything and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I think the less it bothers me then the less it bother other people.

Which reminds me, on Friday one of my work colleagues asked me if I'd tried the chilli icecream at the special dinner the night before. I was amazed that he hadn't even noticed that I didn't eat a thing at the dinner. I was going to say just as much but then thought better of it and just said "No". he gave me a description of the icecream and that was that.

The friends the Hubby and I had brunch with this morning are having a dinner party in a couple of weeks, she asked me if I wanted to bring my own food which I thought was really sweet. Sometimes things I think are going to be a problem really aren't.

I've been really hungry again for the last few days, which is reassuring in a way. I had some days recently when I wasn't hungry at all and thought that I wouldn't lose any weight. Mind you I'd rather not spend all my time being hungry for the next 6 months or however long it takes.

BIG NEWS. I found some Mexican mangoes at the supermarket and ate 1/2 of one, 150g, on a ricecake yesterday (thanks for the idea AJ). Yum. My neighbour gave me a mango "tree" the other day, it's only about 10cm tall. I think I'll be waiting a while until it fruits!

I am feeling so much slimmer it's amazing, my clothes are fitting me better, and it's only been a couple of weeks. these changes give me the encouragement to keep going. It's exciting.
x

LL

[Annabelle Joy]

LouLou, I'm amazed that no one notices whether I eat or not when I go out. One night at an Asian restaurant with a group of friends everyone shared dishes. They all know I don't eat. However, after the meal the man next to me and also another across and along one asked me what I thought of the food. They hadn't noticed at all that I didn't eat anything.

I've been buying the Mexican mangoes too. I love mango with my yoghurt and on rice cakes.

AJ

[LessisMore]

Sounds like you're travelling well LucyLou. It's amazing how much difference just a few kilos makes to how you feel and how your clothes fit, certainly helps with the motivation. I assume those kilos made the same difference when they were going on, too, but I paid so much less attention because I just didn't want to know about it.

Well done with your eating out - that's been an area that's been a bit of a struggle for me.

LiM

[Almost Eden]

It's funny how little Cohens really does effect your lifestyle. Especially when your friends are supportive. Sure going out to dinner is a little difficult and I opt not to go to resturants for that reason...but I know that is very difficult and almost impossible and unacceptable for some people...but that doesn't mean you have to miss out all together. It's wonderful that your friends are so great with it. Keep up the fantastic work love. Your doing so very well. Huggles

AE.

[sundaymorningstaple]

LouLou,

Taken from my diary:

Originally Posted by lucylou

I told him this morning that I thought doing Cohens would actually be a whole lot easier if I just stuck to exactly what was prescribed. If I get fuzzy round the edges it would be a whole lot harder.

Do you know how true your words are? They hit the nail on the head. The one thing I've noticed as as recurring theme through a lot of the diaries of serial dieters is that they tend to try to find the loop-holes in order to diet the way "they" want and not as the programs are designed. This to me is the beginning of failure because their mindset isn't in the correct place. Why start a program of dieting if you intend to flaunt the loopholes to avoid the diet?

You seem that you are right where you should be. I found the whole program easy once I got used to the processing of the foods (weighing & packaging).

I'll be watching your progress over the next couple months as you close in on that target of a New You. Your loss so far is fantastic for only a couple of weeks on the program. It may be a fast trip down the slide for you!

[lucylou]

Thanks SMS, AE, LiM and AJ. Another day deviation free, that dancing mango is coming my way.

I had the funniest dream though. I was making up a meal of leftovers (leftovers, what are they? Don't exist on Cohens!) Anyway there was some rice in the bowl I was eating out of and I took a mouthful. When I realised what I'd done I was so disappointed because I knew I would have to drop out of the deviation free challenge. What a relief when I woke up! It made me laugh though because in the past when I've been on a diet I've had dreams/nightmares where I've stuffed myself with sweets and chocolate and now in my dreams I'm freaking out about a mouthful of rice!

I've been told in the past that these dreams are "letting go" dreams. letting go of a certain behaviour that used to be a habit for us. The only other food dream I've had while on Cohens was one where I was checking out bakeries. I wasn't even eating anything, I was just doing a bakery crawl and seeing what they had to offer. In the dream I was thinking that I'd go back and get something once I'd finished Cohens. I deduce from these dreams that my subconscious is pretty much in alignment with Cohens for today anyway. I never take tomorrow for granted.

I've been stressing about not getting on with my writing, I spend way too much time on this forum. Today I've given myself permission to do what I need to do to stay deviation free and if that means spending a lot of time here then that's what I'll do. I don't have a deadline as such and my writing will only improve with a clearer food fog free mind. Work is another matter and I have to do that but I'm making it as stress free as I can.

As I've mentioned before meditation and Cohens are my primary focus for now. (Oh and walking along the beach everyday, plus a very quick dip in the ocean, which is where I'm going now.)

love

LL

Loulou

[Almost Eden]

What a lovely existance you have...Cohens, writing, meditation and stoles and dips in the ocean. How lovely. I'm as jealous as can be...How lovely. Anyway...well done on staying deviation free...I have had a few dreams like that one...better to deviate in your dreams where it's safe to do so than in reality I recon. Would be nice if you could destinguish between the two so you could really enjoy the dreamtime deviation and not stress and feel guilty for having done it. It's a powerful thing the mind. Huggles and keep up the great work. Bye bye now

AE.

[Annabelle Joy]

I don't dream about food, LouLou, at least not that I remember. However, whenever I anywhere there is food I examine everything on offer and decide what I would eat if I was finished the diet.

AJ

[lucylou]

Another 1.3 kg gone. I have lost over a stone (in the old language) in 3 weeks! I can't believe it. Thanks to everyone for your support.

I had a moment of fear after I weighed myself and the fear was this: "This program might actually work." Strange isn't it how we work so hard for what we want but there's a little bit of us that's scared of success. I know I put this weight on for a reason and I did pile it on when my brother and mother died but also after I got married. I wanted protection and putting on weight was my way of getting it. Plus I was comfort eating for quite some time. Then the hypothyroidism really kicked in and I had the perfect excuse to be fat.

Now the reality is that I'm losing weight and as I do I need to find other ways of feeling safe. There's a reason I didn't get married until I was 43, I was terrified of commitment. Every fear under the sun and under the earth came up for me at the time. I went through a lot of those fears but I also ate when I couldn't cope with them. My Hubby is a very emotionally supportive man and has weathered everything I've tossed at him but now I need to take responsibility for my feelings and not eat because of them. Somewhere on this forum I read that we overeaters have a child like relationship with food and I agree. I started bingeing when I was eight and I've done a lot of work around it since then but have never been able to keep the weight off when I've lost it. I would like this time to be different.

So after the fear/anxiety about the actual possibility that I would get to my goal weight hit, I meditated for an hour. That's the major tool I use. The meditation I do focuses on feeling every sensation and just observing them, not acting or reacting to them, just observing them and knowing they will pass, the feelings will change. It's a perfect mediation technique for anyone with a compulsive, addictive, fearful nature like myself.

So now I'm going to change my ticker and edit my signature to make way for a dancing mango which will be coming my way very soon.

lots of love
Loulou

[lucylou]

I can't get it to move, but I've asked for help and hopefully it won't be long.

LL

[Almost Eden]

I can relate to so much of what you write...it's amazing how similar so many of us are. Thank god we have found each other and this program so that we can finally be free from our fat shakels. I love how grounded you are...and I really like how you bring everything back to basics. I think that is really the key to working through all of the things that have kept us all fat for so long. Big love...

AE.

Meanwhile...well done on your weightloss to date. You are doing so amazingly well. As for the ticker...go to "signature" via "user CP" which is on the left hand side of the screen. Click on your ticker and then put in your password and select the tab under the password...change/edit ticker. Scrole down to the weights...type in your new weight and push next. Highlight the info in the first box...cut and then paste it into you8r signature remembering to delete the old signature info first. And that's it. Push save and your done.

Are you majorly confused now...oh dear. Hugs fior luck

[enough!]

Hi there,
I agree totally with AE, when I read your thoughts its so much how I think and I suspect a lot of us here think.
I, like you am treating this journey as much as a soul searching journey as a physical one. Actually probably more so if we want to maintain our fab bodys at the end!!.
Thanks for being so enlightning and sharing all your thoughts with us.

Kate

[shrinking_moi]

Congratulations on such a great drop Loulou. I bet your beaming right now.
X
Ez

[LessisMore]

Congratulations on your fantastic loss, and on all the soul searching that's going along with it. I'm still pretty much working through the physical aspects of the process - I figure I'll sort out the emotions if/when they rear their little legs and trip me up.

What are you writing?

[Annabelle Joy]

Understanding why you've clothed yourself with the protective layer of fat is an important start to being able to do without it, LouLou. However, the fat really isn't protecting you from anything, just makes you feel that it is.

AJ

[lucylou]

Hooray!

One day at a time (my favourite saying).

Mind you I've had a few thoughts about eating something that's on on my eating plan. I think I need to make some really yummy meals this weekend. The weather's turned cold and wet (yes we're finally getting some of the wet stuff) and when the weather turns for some reason my thoughts turn to food.
So Ez I'll be checking out some of your fabulous recipes.

I've just read the latest Cohens newsletter and found it very helpful.

My young niece is staying with me this weekend as she does every second weekend. She loves to cook but I think she and I will be making different food!

x

Loulou

[Stoddy]

Hi LucyLou

Just catching up on your diary and you are doing fantastic !!
It is amazing to go back and read someone who has started after you and see that we do all go through similar things as the weeks progress, that is the good thing about this forum that you can read other experiences and it helps you to put some things into perspective, or even better .. realise you are not WEIRD or ALONE !!

Someone told me that a dress size is 6 - 8 kilos so well done .. you should raid your wardrobe .. cause it doesn't take long to grow out of stuff .... I usually grow out of stuff by being too big .. but not anymore .. this program rocks .. except now I have hardly any options .. haha .. that is funnily enough a good thing !!

Well done and look forward to seeing your continued success .. do you have a photo thread .. some people start it after the 4 week point .. so you can see the difference .. !!!

Stoddy