One last time...

[mcbell]

Best wishes to Spike - thanks for the update!

[Cazspaz]

Oh my gosh what a little trooper! I hope all is coming along with his eye and hope he is healing fast and feeling like a happy puppy
Xoxo

You have done an amazing job with your losses so far! So impressed!

[1and1and1is3]

Glad to hear he's getting better! I hope his sight comes back

[Cazspaz]

Giggle! The Summer Challenge has begun!

Here's the link

All of you can join up any time, tell us your goal, then report in weekly. Easy!

I really enjoy the challenges and they keep me being a bit more practical about viewing my overall losses. I've completed the Winter and Spring challenge. Now bring on Summer I say!

[Gigglesza]

YAY!! thanks Caz, will be joining ASAP.

What a weekend! My hubby booked us a getaway for my birthday the month before I started cohens, so he booked it catered and all that jazz, so unfortunately, I had no choice but to deviate. I tried as much as possible to eat as clean as possible and keep my water up, but it was hard. However, I did stay away from dessert and starters and attempted to guess my portions as best as possible. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we went on this super long hike up the mountain(note to self, dont do this post your first deviation, your stomach will retaliate halfway up and make the rest of the hike(and day) hell.) it was incredible!!! except I'm now in incredible amounts of pain, my body hurts like crazy, I'm sunburnt and still tired. Spike feels the same lol. yes he climbed the whole way with us and then passed out cold when we got back.

We tried getting a little friend for spike yesterday, got a 7 week old beagle, but we think she came from an abusive home so she's extremely timid and scared and then she attacked spike last night, so its just not going to work out, we have to take her back today, I feel so bad for her, but we dont have a choice.

So ja, that was pretty much my weekend, oh wait, I forgot, I reached my next goal on friday morning! 30.4kg's down and only a sh!tload to go still. hee hee. mind you, after the deviations this weekend, i'm not sure where I stand. But its ok, already got my next charm for my bracelet! yay!!!

ok let me go work! bye bye!

[Fox&Whale]

Yay, you're doing SO well. It might feel like so much to go but hey look how much you've dropped that is now gone forever.

Sounds like a lovely weekend. Sorry to hear about your dog woes. I hope she finds a loving home too, and Spike is on the mend.

[Gigglesza]

Thanks foxy!

[Nutmeg]

i actually had to close your page without replying a week ago giggles when i saw spikes photo. I cant even handle national geographic so anything animal bad is pretty traumatizing. I really really hope he is doing ok now.
You husband is so amazing! and well done on 30kg loss so far, i remember just the other day you were on 0. Goes quick hey !

[1and1and1is3]

30kg? AMAZING!!!! You must be feeling so good

[nicolac]

30kg is fantastic -- sounds like a very well deserved charm

[Gigglesza]

So it's been a while since I last posted in my diary... I've been around, it's been crazy busy but I have been trying to keep up where I could.

Today however, I'm having a tough one, those inner demons of mine are at it again... I just feel like it's just never going to happen, I'm never going to reach my goal, and never going to have the life I've always dreamt of. I know the scale says more than 40kgs gone already, but it just doesn't look that way... I still feel as huge as I was.... I still have a huge tummy...and way too much of myself everywhere... I'm not even 30% with my journey yet and it's been over 3 months already. I know I should be patient, and I know the kgs show it's been working, but it's just one of those days...

I guess it's also brought on by the fact that I'm so unhappy at work.. I've only been there 7 months, but it's been 7 months of unhappiness, I go to work each day with such a heavy heart, and it's just frustrating because my previous job was bad too... My boss hit me and then tried to fire me, needless to say that sent me into a terrible depression and has affected me so badly... I just so badly want to find a job where I'm happy and challenged everyday. I want to study further and change careers but the courses are so darn expensive, but I just need to do something and soon, it's eating me up inside.

I dream of moving to New York, I have my entire life, but now that I'm married it's no longer just my life to decide for. My husband said we can 'discuss it' next year IF his mom is doing better(his dad passed away just over a year ago and she's still not taking it well), so I'm holding on to that dream to get me through all of this, that's all I can do.

But enough sad moaning, I hope everyone had an amazing festive season! And may 2014 be the year we all achieve and learn to maintain our Cohens goals!

[Annabelle Joy]

Gigglesza, my heart goes out to you. I hope that you will be feeling better tomorrow. I think you are amazing, already 40 kgs gone. That took me nine months. It can seem slow. You still have a way to go, so of course you still have rolls of fat still there, but there's definitely a lot less than there was and that will continue. The result will definitely worth the sacrifices in the end. Stay with it.

AJ

[Relles]

Hey Gigglesza,

Sorry you are having a bad day. You really have done such an awesome job so far... Wow 40kgs gone! Brilliant work!
You say you dont feel different, are your clothes looser? have you tried picking up 40kgs? Try it, you will be amazed its so easy to think of it just as a number...but its an achievement.
Yes, it's going to be a journey for you, but it's really its one that never ends for any of us.
When you think about it, we are learning a new way of living, have to think differently and become a different person. You have got time to make really permanent changes, while you do this!
You have proved to yourself that you can do this, 40kg gone! You can be a different you, it's there waiting for you.

I hope you are feeling better soon, nothing worse than being unhappy at work. I must say though why on earth (read on what planet) would your old boss think its ok to hit an employee???
WTH I hope you went to HR and sorted that out! Not on at all!

[lil_doll]

Hey Giggles!

I'm so sorry you had such a tough day the other day... I hope things are looking up for you today.

Yes it is a long journey... I had to lose half of what you did and I most definitely struggled with the amount at the beginning... But honestly, once you really get stuck into it... And I'm talking halfway plus, you'll think the time has flown. I have been on plan for almost a year! 3 months really isn't that long... I know you have more to go but in 3 months you've lost almost as much as I have in a year! 12 months!!! (Okay not quite 12 months, I think almost 11, still...). YOU ARE GOING AMAZINGLY WELL!!!! How long did it take you to gain weight? Longer than 3 months, I'm sure! These things don't happen over night... but you will get there!

Do you track your weight in an app? I have an app called 'monitor your weight' or something... and it estimates your completion etc. You should consider getting something similar to keep you motivated

[1and1and1is3]

My lovely Giggles! Tell your inner demon to f*** off! Plain and simple

You've done an amazing job so far! I know what it's like to still have negative thoughts about your own personal appearance, but just ignore them. You are much healthier than when you started and you will be much healthier again in 3 months time.

You will get to experience the life you've always dreamed of... all you have to do is keep doing exactly what you've been doing for the last 3 months

You'll kill it, hun!

[Butterflywings]

Hi Giggles,
The lovely ladies above have stated my thoughts so well, so nothing I can add that is new except to applaud you on your journey so far and be there to say "doing great" through the crappy days when they pop as you continue down a path that leads to healthy, happiness and awesomeness.

Chin up, you're rocking it more than you know right now!!!

[Gigglesza]

Hi Everyone!

Thank you so much for the love! Man those demons can get nasty.
But I'm proud to say, I did not deviate or eat my feelings as I would have in the past, I just kept trucking along!
It has been a bit of a bad(but in other ways good) week... I had my first TOM, well not first, I had TOM my first month, but that was because I had gone off the pill, then I didnt get it again till now! so yay!!! and so far so good, it seems like it was a proper one for the first time in a really really really really really long time. Damn you PCOS!!!! LOL.

So my losses this week have been super duper slow.. like 0.1kg a day, which has not been helped by the fact that my tum was just not budging either... luckily found out I could drink some senokot so feeling a touch better now(sorry I know TMI!!!!!)

The other funny thing that happened this week, remember the pants? the one I bought pre Cohens that I couldnt wait to wear and then it made its first showing just before christmas(did I tell you that? OH well!) Well, when I bought that pants I bought a second one precisely the same, just in plain black. So with the holi's I didnt wear my work clothes at all, so returned to work and now I finally decide its time to wear them, um... oops... I now have my very own tent! lol. It still sits fine around my waist, but the rest of me its like super baggy! now if only all my other pants could get there!
I did fit all my pants on on thursday last week, my calves were just still a bit too big, so they werent 100% comfortable just yet, I'm hoping when I try them on tonight that changes, I'd really love to wear them tomorrow.

On the job front, I am looking... sent my cv out to a few agents so hopefully I'll be outta here soon enough, and I've decided, I'm tired of just taking any job, I'm smart and I'm a great asset, so I'm going to find someone who's willing to pay what I want and deserve. So I'm holding thumbs here.

Relles, yes, he was and still is an idiot, thinks he's God's gift to earth. He owned the company and it was a tiny company, only 6 people, so no HR. I did however leave soon after that, but I still dont think he even knows what he did(like I said, idiot).

Hope you're all going to have a fantastic weekend! We're off to the farmers market tomorrow morning so I really cant wait!!!!

[Reenna]

That's it, Giggles, take one step at a time, one day at a time, so you don't get overwhelmed with how many kgs you still need to lose. In my books, 40kgs lost is more than awesome!

[Odette79]

You are going fantastically giggles!

We all have moments when it seems too hard or we just want to throw in the towel, but as long as we do what you've done, one foot in front of the other, then we'll get there.

Keep up the great work!

[Cazspaz]

*hugs*

Just remember that you're allowed to feel down, frustrated and lost at times Giggles. In fact you wouldn't be human if you didn't have days like that.

You are on a long journey to completely transform yourself and change the way you've lived. That kind of transformation will always come with feelings of doubt, fear, failure and temptations to give up. How could anyone go through such an overhaul of their life without those feelings?

The great thing is you have moved on and continued on with reaching your goals. As they say "Rome wasn't built in one day". Don't be surprised by the times you feel down, it will probably happen many times - it's even likely that you will have days like that even at goal weight. Money, jobs, weight and all sorts of other challenging goals are great motivators and instigators of personal growth. By setting goals to lose weight, change jobs, move countries etc... we challenge ourselves and learn lots about ourselves on our way as we set out to get them.

However, when you reach your goal in reality it will never be perfect. No goal will fulfil someone completely. Losing weight is not like reaching enlightenment. What I mean by this is, you might find as you knock off goal after goal... that you still don't feel accomplished or fulfilled. That doesn't mean you should not still set goals and reach out for them!

What I'm trying to say is you need to try and be mindful of the journey. You need to be proud and savour the steps you take. Reflect on your achievements, reflect on the moments where you felt down, be kind to yourself and be mindful of how far you have come.

Always set goals and always aim high. The goal is how we shape the journey but the goal is not what makes us feel great... it's all about the journey - the highs and the lows!