An outsider's thoughts on "You've lost enough!!"

[Happy Barb]

manuthewok
Start you personal diary and we will all look froward to seeing the weight drop and have that satisfaction with you. Congratulations on loosing 20kgs in 4 months.
I am having to buy a new wardrobe and its neat saying to people this is a size 12 or 14 when I have usually been a 24. Got into my going away outfit recently (32years later)

[est]

Wow this is exactly what I needed to read! I started Cohens 10 months ago and 8months ago was when the comments started from friends, family, colleagues and even fellow dieters. Being a total people pleaser and hearing comments like 'are you still on that diet?' and 'isnt what we're' eating healthy enough for you'- I have been listening to these comments and holding myself back from finishing the program.
Reading these forum comments - its nice to know I'm not the only one thinking this way and I'll try my best to arm myself with some of the 'comebacks' that some of you have used

[**Elle**]

What a great thread! thoroughly enjoyable read. Will be sure to come back when I get my first "You're too skinny" comment lol. Though, it's a long way away still, but no doubt coming

Elle

[ciaranfurness]

Wow what an awesome thread! Thoroughly enjoyed it! I lost 20.4kgs by myself, and am getting the rest off for good with Cohens - people have noticed and when I say that Ive still got a bit to go (about 30kgs) theyre shocked and say but you dont need to lose that much!! But I know better than them, so I just smile and nod. They can think whatever they like, I know my body and they dont. It took me a while to get to that point where I could shrug it off like that, but you know what - it feels good!

[louise41]

Keren good on you for just smiling and nodding. Everyone is an expert when it comes to weight loss, but when it comes to your body - you are the expert.

[Embee]

This is a really good read!
I have had people telling me already that I have lost enough and I just tell them to trust me that I know what I am doing and will stop when I reach a healthy weight

[Kohinoor]

After 4 months (plus) in the wilderness, it must be time for a bump !!

[chillichic]

Oh Koh Thankyou for putting me on to this thread.Excellent blog i must say.
My neighbour has just seen me after 2 weeks away and said you are getting to thin Gaylene .So there is another comment.I promptly went inside and had a good look at myself in the mirror.
I can actually say that i am not even the weight i was when we came to NZ back in 2001.I was another 10 kgs lighter i think.
You know i cant be bothered explaining to peeps on how it all works and why i have more to lose.
I know that some peeps are willing me to fail,a case of the green eyed monster!
tHANKS kOh.

[Kohinoor]

On a re-read, something popped out at me..... Several people on this thread have mentioned "others" saying "How unhealthy Cohens is !!" - and I pondered why they might think that?


Some thoughts :-
1. Since our Govt. Health departments still cling to the "food pyramid" which includes CARBS as the base of the pyramid, and most people get to learn of the pyramid at school (I did - how about you?), maybe they think food without carbs HAS to be unhealthy....


2. In times gone by, I recall hearing many words re "fast weight loss can be damaging to your health". Umm, let's THINK about that one :-

Today, there are finally studies that show a faster weightloss works far better than slow....
Motivation to continue on Plan remains higher,
getting out of unhealthy BMI ranges quicker has to be in its favour, surely?


3. Many think the ONLY way to lose weight is to exercise - and Cohens promotes the opposite.

How does the Obese person even START an exercise regime? And, if they managed to, how much more damage might they be doing to their joints, back, even their heart, by forcing themselves to run when their body might be over-exerting itself just to WALK ??? Now, there CAN be exceptions to this - where people have maintained an exercise regime even as their weight was going on, and they maintained it even into larger sizes. Their muscles have grown to accommodate the exercise over time, and they may well be choosing low-impact exercise (e.g. cycling, rather than running). My concern comes when people attempt to start "Biggest Loser" forms of exercise - which just seem so wrong to me for people so large...


In defence of Cohens - there is no exercise, no shakes, no pills (except vitamins), nor "fad" food of any kind.

It's all GOOD stuff, and the weight falls off (comparatively speaking). The Cohens Plan is the combination of the RIGHT amounts of the RIGHT foods for you, at the RIGHT times, along with plenty of water, and sleep. HOW can it be wrong?

Or, in short, BUMP !!! Click below to go back to the first post, then read on - many great thoughts from many people :-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4553

Koh

[kailey]

Way to go Koh so true! Cohens rocks!!!

[Kohinoor]

With 7 months gone since last sighted (or commented on), it's time for a "bump"....

Koh

[Collie]

Yes this is a great thread, and I have several takes on this 'problem', and for some of us it can really become a big problem.

For a start, many of us, me for one, will lose our weight around the face, neck and shoulders first, and considering that only a very few fortunate or unfortunate people......depends on which way you look at it get, to view us in our naked entirety. When we get new, nice and well fitted clothes or smart underwear, they very cleverly do their job and maximise our assets, like they are designed to, and our less attractive bits and pieces are discreetly disguised. So, in defence of 'those people', most don't really notice or know what still lurks beneath, and seriously, why should they. There are some things in life that are still sacred.......

My more cynical view on this topic though......I think I've written about this before.....sorry if you've already heard my ramblings on this.....it's one I'm particularly passionate about, is this:

Although most, if not all of our supporters.....friends, work mates and family etc are genuinely wanting to see us happy and healthy.....and attractive, their comments DO come with their own agenda. As much as people try to 'do the right thing', they also secretly really don't want you to be thinner than they are, what happens if they become the biggest person in the room????? This often highlights issues in the weight department that they have of their own and their shortcomings in their own health.

Humans are generally nice people.....in my experience anyway, but their opinions are almost always clouded with 'what's in it for me' or 'what happens to me if my friend, sister, mother etc etc is skinnier than me'????

There's a certain comfort in being the skinnier than your friend, partner, cousin etc because.........well, there just is. Sorry, I don't really have any profound reasons why, there just obviously is.

The other thing that crosses my mind, is that our skin doesn't retract quite as quickly as we lose weight on this program and I think that many of us look a little hollow and perhaps a bit gaunt, especially in the face as we approach our goal, and this is only fixed up as the skin kind of catches up some time during our maintenance period. That seems to horrify some of our observers and they feel compelled to say something. The problem with that is that their overall knowledge and understanding of Cohen's is pretty low, and through their ignorance, they don't seem to realise just how negatively their comments affect us.

Well that's about all I can think of. Sorry if all of this has been said in earlier posts. I tried to read the whole thread so I didn't totally repeat things, but apologies if I have doubled up too much.

An essay. Sorry for my ramblings, just wrote down my thoughts!!!

[yoyochick]

In my experience my grandmother (who wouldn't be jealous lol) told me to stop losing weight (not this diet another one), I got the feeling she was panicking that I was losing too much weight and would wither away.

Yet from a friend I would get told to 'keep going' your doing well, you are looking great (mind you she was 48kgs at the time with a kickass metabolism).

So I think from family members it is about worry, and with friends, acquaintances it is more about a comparison with themselves. Because I am sure if a friend weighed more than me they may tell me to stop losing weight.

I think it is mostly a subconscious insecurity people have, I don't think on the large part it is intentional, it kinda blurts out as they reflect on themselves, and they perceptions and insecurities.

In the end we know how much we should weigh, and that is what matters.

Becky

[Collie]

Sorry if I came across that I think your family or friends for that matter want to offend deliberately, I don't think anyone would do that intentionally. I don't think people are even aware of that, it sits so far in the back of their heads.

But I don't agree that family (well not mine) put comments out there without agenda. Definitely, we all have insecurities, and so do the people who make comments, given, they may be also worried. I'm only quoting my own experiences and not judging anyone else's opinions about this or any other matter.

Often the people we are closest to say the most hurtful things, but, yes it's up to us, we know what works for our bodies, and what's so great about this program is that we are well and truly taught this by the time we get to maintenance.

[ej_nz]

Thanks Collie for pointing me to this thread, its made for a very good read!!

I am finding coming from a smaller rural-ish community that I prefer to go into the city alot more and blend into the crowds or spend more time around new people, new people who have no fatter version of myself to compare me to nowadays!

Yea, some people mean well, because they think you look really good. The others think you look good and are jealous.
I guess I'll just have to leave them to it, all I know is that whatever I tried for my weight before Cohens didn't work, and I have never felt better INSIDE and OUT while being on this program.
I can't even call it a diet, because I want to feel like this for the rest of my life, so if that means less sugar,carbs etc for the remainder of my life then so be it.

Yay for Cohens!

[justakiwig]

this is an interesting read - believe it or not some people are asking me if i've finished my program lol, basically because i've been so big for so long that losing 20+kgs was a massive change for everyone. i doubt that anyone would believe that i have ever or will ever be smaller than i am now (not that 124kgs is small) but the mind boggles that people are telling me that i don't need to lose anymore ARE YOU BLIND!!! i think i have a knack for hiding the blindingly obvious - years of experience lol.

my answer is i have a 'bit more' to go yet and leave it at that, i've never told anyone how much i have to lose, how much i've lost or any timeframe till i've reached my goal, to me that's way too personal -

just

[mcbell]

Yeah, I have had a few comments, and granted I am fairly close to my goal range - so it is quite noticeable, especially now that I have some new clothes that I am happy to show off at work.

My strategy is to either say "just a little more to go", or "I am just concentrating on maintaining now", for those who seem concerned.

As I have only just admitted that I am doing Cohens (a girl at work did it and was really open about it, but I was scared that it wouldn't work, and that I would have wasted my money) so when people find out, they can look at the first Cohenite and see that yes, she got slim, some may say gaunt, but she is a healthy slim size now (I think she finished in March or April) and I can barely remember what she looked like before she started now. She did only have 11kg to lose though, but she looks fantastic now, and has maintained the whole 100 days I have been on Cohens (that was a wee milestone for me today).

I have had comments like "at least you haven't rushed it, you have taken your time", from people who have no idea how heavy I really was. These days if people really want to know, I prefer to tell them what I weigh, rather than tell them that I have lost about 19kg! That seems too much, whereas telling them that I weigh in just under 60kg, seems more normal - especially as I am short (1.61cm, and until recently, never worn heels at work).

[Kohinoor]

I stumbled over this one today - you know the one, where the chatterati talk of "Don't get too skinny... because........"

Here's the link

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4627

Koh

[Drafty]

IMO, it's the weight-loss giants (ie JC, WW) that say that 500gms-1kg is the best weight-loss rate because the longer it takes for you to lose weight on their programmes the better for their wallets.

That is why I like Cohens - you pay the fee ($1000 in New Zealand) and get six months support for the $$$.

I love the comments I get from people when they ask HOW am I losing all this weight??? (IF I choose to tell them HOW) with comments like 'doesn't that cost like, a grand???' - to which I reply yes, but WW have taken THOUSANDS of dollars off me over the years and (a) I either gain weight on their programme while DOING their programme; (b) they don't offer a reasonable/realistic maintenance programme for those who get to 'goal'. $1000 for six months of support and a luscious list of 'can eat' foods to me is far cheaper already than what I have given WW over the years! And then I throw in the 'and obviously you can see it works, or we wouldn't be having this conversation'.

The other comment 'how can you justify that cost' - my reply 'how can I NOT justify that cost - look at my success so far!'

I personally think some of the goal weights on Cohens are too low (and mine are the same as WW told me, which I also think is too low - for me being 5'6", size 8 shoe, and goal weight of 61-64kgs) - but who knows when I get to what I personally consider is my good weight of 72kgs as to how I will look and feel at that weight? I might have refined so much that losing the further approx 10kgs will look even better than I thought.

Personally, when asked if I want to lose any more (and believe me, I still need to lose 30kgs more as I am weighing at 95kgs at the moment - but as I am a 'rectangle/brick' body type, it's quite easy to hide some of the hanger-on bumps and lumps as I dress rather cleverly) I just say 'yes a little more would be great'. I don't mention numbers. I don't even say how much I have lost any more (which is 21kgs this year, and not just through Cohens, although Cohens has clinched my last 14kgs for me through using a friend's programme for a week to see if I could 'handle it', which I could, so then I invested in my own!) - if asked, I just say 'quite a bit' and if the question is pushed further, then I confess how much, but still stick to the 'I'm doing non-processed non-preservative foods' because I am already sick of the comments on 'costs too much' and 'the loss is far too quick' and I like to think I should never have to explain myself to anyone anymore now that I am quietly more confident with who I am.

[Michellebell]

Thanks Koh for your insight and logic. I'm sure I get this from a logical point of view. And following Cohen's I am logical and precise.

However, the other side of me is pure Emotion!! And I have been told in the past "You should stop now!" "Don't you think you've lost enough" "Don't go to far Michelle" and because it was close to nearing my goal and I had been so successful, I just wanted to hear positive comments. Really, really, really......can't people see that if you have the 'ability' [not really the right word] to lose all that weight, to stick to a program and see it through so far, can't they give you the benefit of the doubt when it comes to knowing when to stop? It was only a temporary bump - like being knocked off the ladder and then having to get back on.

I had that belief from the people closest to me. They trusted in my judgement.

It was from work colleagues and acquaintances who really had no right to tell you how to do things that I got comments about needing to stop.