Vees Diary - Page 84

JennyC · #**1661** 08-02-2009, 12:21

Hi Vee, I am so feeling for you right now. I feel as though we are going through similar things even though I am a bit further out from goal than you are....I think!!! (have been avoiding scales)
Hope you get some answers from the clinic.
Have a lovely Sunday.

JennyC

thenewvee · #**1662** 09-02-2009, 07:37

Another weekend over!

I hope I get an answer from the clinic today about whether or not refeed can be ordered. I got to a point this weekend where I'm just so over this program. Not a particularly good place to be in my circumstances, so I had a blowout yesterday and while I know I've set myself back yet again, I'm not going to beat myself up about it, especially as I know it's set me further back again, so I've prolonged what I really want to do and that is finish the program.

One thing I did notice, while I ate whatever I wanted to yesterday, it was not an "all out binge, eat till you pop" day. I stopped eating when I had had enough and I didn't need to keep eating then either, not even for the taste. The taste was only good for the first few mouthfuls and then it diminished rapidly. I hope this is how it will be on maintenance! I think so long as I'm careful to not stretch my stomach again by gradually eating bigger amounts again, I should be ok. In this regard refeed should be interesting.

So today, I draw my line and move on.
At least this journey is not a boring one! It may be very testing, but definitely not boring!

Thanks so much for all the visits Michele, PS, Hexi, SB, Daffodil, Shanara, Maria and Jenny! As you can see, I'm still here and I've got a journey to finish.

This weekend my washing machine died, so I had to go and get a new one!
What a pleasure to have one that works again and just does what its supposed to and produces clean clothes!! I had lots of washing to catch up on!

Hope everyone had a fab weekend and here's to a good week ahead!

Vee

Shanara · #**1663** 09-02-2009, 07:56

Hi Vee,

Wow woman - you are a huge inspiration. What a journey you are on. I really admire how you are really getting as many of the gifta and learning you can from this and I think it will serve you very well as you move through maintenance. That is the real challenge = to maintain our new selves.

I loved what Maria wrote in your diary : I like who I am now. I hope you also are feeling like this - I know I am. I look in the mirror and think - yes I really like you.

Fingers crossed for you, dear one. Onwards and upwards - refeed here you come,

Blessings
Shanara

garden goddess · #**1664** 09-02-2009, 07:58

God , this is all a bit tortuous isn't it ?
I don't blame you for being at the end of your tether at this stage mate. Long road hey ?
But if they put you on to refeed today , there'll be a stack of experimentation to do with food . That should keep you busy and motivated.
What a relief THAT will be ! I REALLY hope you hear today.
LILY

hexi2 · #**1665** 09-02-2009, 10:20

ALL THE STRENGTH IN THE WORLD TO YOU VEE

Finish this off - the time has come

Snugglebear · #**1666** 09-02-2009, 11:11

Hey Vee

I hate to be a party pooper but because of this weekends deviations wouldn't you have to do 2 weeks D free before you could start Refeed?? I don't think you could stand to wait for another 2 weeks, your body would reject you entirely. Fingers crossed. I really hope they hurry up and let you know what is going on..................I think we are all just hanging out to hear the answer.

Take care

Jo

km64 · #**1667** 09-02-2009, 13:27

Hey Vee - sorry to hear about your frustration and hope clinic gets back to you real soon. Glad to hear the blow out wasn't completely off the chart though and to see your head is still in this - only 4kg to go you'd have to think refeed is not far off now by sounds of other people's experiences.

Wish you strength and peace while you wait and finish your journey. Kay.

thenewvee · #**1668** 09-02-2009, 13:42

Thanks guys, I'm still waiting on word. I've been needing lots of strength, Hexi, so thanks for that!

Lily, I just want to complete this part of the journey and move onto the next, and I'm having some "issues" I guess is the word about getting to the end of this part! Probably all self inflicted!

Jo, yes, I know I need to do 2 weeks DF before doing refeed, and I've just decided, even though I set myself back, that I'm going to do that and if I get a refeed in the meantime, great, if not, I'll be ordering it for sure after those 2 weeks, whether my body drops the weight or not.
Ideally, I would LOVE to drop those last 4 kgs plus 2 extra, but I have to be realistic and listen to what the body needs.

Kay, refeed seems so close yet it's so far away! If my body is only going to drop 200g a week, it will take quite a few weeks to drop those last 2 kgs I need to get to the weight (64kg) to order refeed.

Hopefully I get an answer today.

Thanks again everyone!

Vee

thenewvee · #**1669** 09-02-2009, 14:48

I just had the phone call, Dr C reckons I need refeed and it's been ordered and I'm to start it as soon as I get it.

I think I may need a bit of time to absorb it and plan for it, so will see how I go.

Ok, back to work for me!

Vee

hexi2 · #**1670** 09-02-2009, 14:57

YAY FOR REFEED

I think you need it too!!!!

JennyC · #**1671** 09-02-2009, 15:40

Congrats on ordering refeed Vee.....your doing so great!!!! Doc C knows whats best thats for sure.

Look forward to following your success

JennyC

Kohinoor · #**1672** 09-02-2009, 17:59

Woohoo Vee,

Hmm, now that the stress (of slow losses, and will I/won't I order refeed) has abated, I wouldn't be at all surprised if your body didn't knuckle down and shed a bit more again. We all know what a bugger stress is !!!

And if not, well, hey, who's to say you won't mimic Louise41 as she stepped into refeed? As soon as she started refeed, her body said "Whacko, more food - I won't have to store this extra now...." (I'm sure you've read her refeed diary).

Hang tough for just a few more days, Vee - you can do it....

Hugs,

Koh

honeybuns · #**1673** 09-02-2009, 18:16

REFEEEEEED!!!

rowemob · #**1674** 09-02-2009, 20:07

Congratulations Vee That is fantastic news.
Cheers
Michelle

Free as a bird · #**1675** 09-02-2009, 21:35

Congrats Vee on getting to refeed. You give the rest of us hope.

Can't wait to see your progress.

FAB

yeti · #**1676** 09-02-2009, 21:49

Hi Vee
I'm genuinely thrilled for you - Refeed was the answer to your problem. Now that the solution has been found, you'll cruise to your goal weight in no time.

ropemaha · #**1677** 09-02-2009, 21:57

well here you are...the inevitable end...

you made it vee...you actually did do this, how wonderful...

i remember your struggle when i met you last year, well not so much struggle as your path...and you persisted and now your ready to finish....

so proud of you and you definately deserve this, keep this in mind whilst you do refeed and beyond...

congratulations

luv penny

thenewvee · #**1678** 09-02-2009, 22:12

Yes, it looks like refeed, here I come.

I have such mixed feelings and they are quite difficult to describe!
Relief, fear, amazement, pride, disbelief that I made it this far, anxiety, and a whole lot of others that I can't seem to put a name to.

I just feel like I want to eat and eat and eat, mainly chocolate.
That's made me realise that I'm afraid of succeeding!
Here I am, having gotten to the end of this journey, succeeding in my weight loss endeavours, and my old programs are back with a vengence to get me back to where it is comfortable with me, which does not equal where I want to be.

I still have so much work to do on the mental side.
While I'm celebrating my win and success, I'm also very wary of this even stronger desire to destroy the success. It only seems to apply to my weight issues (that I've noticed, but then again, it could possibly also apply to various other aspects of my life too, mmmmm I'll have to think some more on that!)

Anyway, thanks to all you wonderful people for helping get to this point, for picking me up when I was down, for celebrating every little milestone and kg lost! I couldn't have done it without all of you!
You are an awesome bunch of people!

Vee

Dedeemay · #**1679** 09-02-2009, 22:14

WOOOHOOOOO

Way to go gorgeous girl!!

Congratulations Vee! All your hard work and perseverance have paid off...don't worry about the numbers...you need to do the right thing by your body, and by the sounds of things...REFEED is what you need!

Good luck, I hope it arrives sooner rather than later...stay strong and focussed....the end is in sight!! ....Or should I say "The beginning (of your new slim Vee era)"?

Enjoy...you deserve every moment of it!

KitKat · #**1680** 09-02-2009, 22:31

Hi Vee
congratultions on reaching the goal you set yourself last March. Although not an easy journey at times you should acknowledge your own resiliance and determination and take the time to enjoy this moment and the positive impact it has made on your life and others who have followed you in your dairy.
Kath