Donzie's Diary - Page 9

Winterboots · #**161** 13-05-2016, 20:27

Did you receive your refeed Donzie and if so, have you come to a decision re starting?

Wishing you all the best
WB

Donzie · #**162** 15-05-2016, 06:18

Week 27 finished = 66.3 kgs (-1.6 kg loss) total lost 37.9 kgs (1.2 kg left to go).

After all the excitement of potentially beginning REFEED on the weekend, it didn’t arrive after all (It’s been sent and should be here Monday). But that’s ok because I had already made my decision to continue with the EP a bit longer anyway.

Yes I am getting hungry now, therefore this past week I decided to increase my amounts a little, adding an extra 30grams of veg and meat onto my meals. I have increased my crackers by 1 to 6, so that’s 2 at breakfast, 2 at lunch and 2 before dinner. Fruit shall remain at 2 pieces per day. Can I say this has made all the difference in the world (OMG!) after dinner I am satisfied, gloriously so. This week everything has gone from difficult to easy again. In fact I reckon if I could add nuts and chocolate, I could go another 6 months like this (obviously I won’t) but giving myself permission to do this has felt wonderful. My body is much happier for it.

So, why not just start refeed when it arrives? Mostly because I’m someone who thrives on routine, to suddenly abandon the EP and begin refeed so impulsively could present a risk to someone like me. I need a little time to prepare mentally, to read up on a few refeed diaries, read and absorb my own refeed program totally, ask a few questions if need be. But mostly to give myself a little more time to process the thought of the EP ending and moving onto the next stage (it is suddenly here strange as this sounds). I have a date in mind to begin REFEED which I would like to look towards in the very near future.

Also, (for right or wrong) 65 kgs has become my measure for success on this EP. I was never going to succumb to refeed before reaching it. Flexibility isn’t one of my strong points (I can be a very fixed and often inflexible personality type). I fully expect to put on a few kilos in those first few heady weeks of maintenance. I want to go out for dinner and enjoy a meal that I haven’t prepared once maybe twice! Therefore I would ideally like to be under 65 kg going into maintenance and use 65 kgs as my queue to ‘reset’ if necessary.

I also think if I’m losing 1.6 kgs like I have this week I’m probably not ready for refeed yet either. Soon, but not just yet. So, I’m going to continue another week or two with these increased amounts and research/prepare for refeed and take it from there. I hope I haven’t upset any Cohen purists out there. I fully intend to follow refeed as best as I can when I do it, but I don’t consider adding a little extra onto my meals now as ‘blowing it’ at the end either. It’s my strategy for getting me where I want to go.

I just don’t want to run towards the finish line with arms waving in a panic because I’m a little hungry. Hunger is nothing to be afraid of, it’s normal to feel hunger before we eat. Truth be told most people don’t know what hunger is, hunger can be your friend, it lets you know you haven’t over eaten that day.

So that’s where my head is right now. Nearly at the end, but not quite.

Have a great week everyone. XX

Winterboots · #**163** 15-05-2016, 08:21

The most important person here is you Donzie, you are the only one that knows your mind and your body and to me it seems you have a great understanding of how you work.

It is all mind games that we play with ourselves and while refeed is still weighing, measuring and limits, it is a step closer to the wider world of maintenance and that is a whole new game plan as suddenly we are not dictated by watching numbers fall off the scales but more fluctuations of ups and downs by a few 100gms.

I too am black and white - I find grey is too easy to go off line.

All the best
WB

Donzie · #**164** 15-05-2016, 09:22

Thanks Winterboots, it has been one hell of a journey this Cohen's ride. I've been kind of amazed at the results really, and intrigued by what is actually going on.

Did you keep up the water in maintenance? Very few people mention it in their maintenance diaries - I assume it is part of the maintenance rules though.

I'm anxious about heading into maintenance land. From reading others maintenance diaries clearly carbs/grains and sugars (including fruit) appear to cause problems eventually if not straight away, creating a feeding frenzy (which I know only too well myself). Very hard to stay in control once that happens.

I'm interested in a more Paleo style of eating as it appears very in line with the Cohen principles (but again it has a few rigid rules of it's own.)

Anyway time will reveal all I guess.

Thanks for popping into my diary. X

Winterboots · #**165** 15-05-2016, 10:25

I do try and kept the water up, maybe not as much as 2 litres but probably over one.

Maintenance is trial and error, it all depends on your lifestyle. Because i exercise a lot, I need carbs or i binge eat so i try and eat healthy carbs ie veges. I have stuck to whole foods and eat very little process therefore is a little like Paleo. I do like bread so save that for the weekends actually many will eat Cohens during the week and be a little freer in the weekends.

May 65 appear shortly on your scales
WB

allie_82 · #**166** 17-05-2016, 15:04

How is everything going Donzie??

Has your refeed arrived yet?

Allie

Donzie · #**167** 17-05-2016, 18:53

Hi Allie,

Refeed arrived (17 days long) pretty much your stock standard refeed. No surprises in there. Now I just need to decide when I will do it.

On the weekend I bought a Paleo cookbook - reading it is making me hungry for nuts and seeds BADLY. Have had to put it away until after refeed, its torturing me.

Anyway, all is going well. During the last 6 months I've been a bit same samey with my meals, this week I've tried really hard to mix it up a bit. So far so good. Yesterday I mixed cottage cheese, chilli and celery with loads of pepper and put it on a baby spinach salad - delish! Who knew cottage cheese could be so good! Today has been all about Wombok (chinese cabbage) - Yum - and a lot weighs a little.

Drinking like a camel too ATM. Have worked out if I start with the water on the school run (instead of when I get home) I can refill bottle at school and hopefully be 1.5 litres down before 9.30am.

I feel like its more about mind games at the moment. I don't have a lot left to loose, but I want to get under 65 kg, but diet fatigue is definitely setting in now. Am having cravings for macadamia nuts like you wouldn't believe.

Anyway, will be there before I know it. XX

Donzie · #**168** 19-05-2016, 09:59

So after all my thoughts of continuing with the EP until I reached 65kg I have gone ahead and started refeed instead. I had already added a bit onto my meals (a little extra meat and veg) this last week, so my behaviour was inline with first week refeed anyway.

It felt silly to just not continue the process and be joyful I've got to this point. Hopefully that extra 1 kg will go during refeed, however if not - so be it.

I think in the end the call of life beyond Cohen's got me. I'm ready to add extras into my diet now and I feel confident and in control going into maintenance. I've learnt a lot during these past 6 months, the biggest most poignant lesson is what simple nutritious food is (and how to prepare it) and the power of adequate water. Also the knowledge that I can do anything I put my mind too. I will forever be grateful for this experience and what it has given me.

I wish everyone here the same success I have had. This forum has been (and will continue to be) a wonderful support network in what can often be an isolating time for a lot of people.

Happy Cohening to everyone. XX

Donzie · #**169** 22-05-2016, 09:30

Week 28 finished = 66.1 kgs (-.2 kg loss) total lost 38.1 kgs (NO MORE left to go).

Every Sunday morning I have breakfast make a coffee and write in my diary. Some habits are hard to break so here I am again.

Today is day 6 of refeed and all is going well. Well actually I've still been a little hungry between meals to be honest but boy the extra fruit and serving sizes are GOOOOOOOOD!!!

TOM arrived this morning so I'm hoping he is responsible partly for me wanting to eat a horse yesterday and me gaining a little weight today. Yesterday I weighed 65.8 kgs but alas not today. Could be TOM could be refeed. Who knows.

So after my little 'flip out' at ending the EP I am in a good place now. I look at my body and think I really do not need to lose ANY more weight. I am a comfortable size 10 and have already exceeded all my expectations of what success looked like on this program (initially I was hoping to get to an AUS size 14).

I don't know why I was so fixated on a number in the end, I think it was partly because I was avoiding the inevitable finishing of the EP (strange as that sounds I have been very very happy in this routine, it has given me a lot of comfort knowing it is doing it's thing over this past 6 months. It was rarely an effort and certainly the positives FAR outweighed ANY negatives it may have brought). Admittedly, the last couple of weeks everything changed I was getting hungry, extremely snappy with those around me and honestly I was looking a little haggard IMO. The signs were there (loud and clear) I just chose to ignore them, to my detriment really.

So I won't lie maintenance scares me. It feels like an enormous challenge. But I know how important it is to keep your head/witts about you and not over react to every little gain on the scale.

When I think about my time on the EP the reason why I was successful (I believe) is because for the most part I wasn't really ever thinking about food that much, sure I would question how much water I'd consumed that day, and I always looked forward to my next meal, but over thinking and obsessing about food - NEVER.

How do I find that place in maintenance, when just the thought of maintenance causes me to over think and obsess about food? I'm not sure, but I WILL find a way. I have too.

Have a good week everyone. XX

Winterboots · #**170** 23-05-2016, 06:46

Those extra bits (and variety) of fruit are lovely aren't they - the new sorts of rewards we can give ourselves - healthy choices.

I think you will be fine in maintenance as as you said - some habits are hard to break ie Sunday morning routine so if you keep to Cohen's principles you will be fine.

Learning not to fixate on numbers is harder - in fact I stopped weighing after a time in maintenance because of that reason because a "number" on the scales can easily throw you off - maybe this is the reason why they dont encourage daily weighing - more for maintenance

You haven't reached refeed without effort and determination - don't under estimate yourself. Keep to Cohen's food and cooking practices the majority of the time and you will be fine.

Enjoy the week
WB

Donzie · #**171** 29-05-2016, 09:52

Week 29 finished = 66.6 kgs (+.5 kg loss)(NO MORE left to go).

This week my scales broke! Annoyingly, I had to go out and buy another set (during refeed when it's critical to weigh yourself each morning) so it's hard to know if I HAVE indeed put on .5kg or are these new scales slightly different from the last ones. Anyway, it doesn't matter in the end I guess.

I've been oddly constipated this week (despite the enormous food increases) so I'm sure this is also responsible for the weight increase too. Hopefully this will be rectified soon.

Refeed is going well. My meals feel enormous now. Although my weight hasn't really changed with the adding of bread (well it didn't prior to the scales breaking) I have found the bread combined with all the extra fruit does leave me craving more carbs. If I cut back the bread the cravings reduce. Just something interesting to note.

I've taken to tracking my food via calorie king - it is giving me piece of mind really. While I probably don't need it for refeed I think it will be a handy little tool once I begin maintenance.

Been a little grumpy and emotional this weekend. Not sure why, hopefully it won't last - I should be jumping with joy - it's over, I did it. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Well actually yes I do.

Maintenance.

Maintenance feels like I'm about to walk out onto a tightrope that I could fall off at any moment (designed to fall off actually). But I have to remind myself I have spent the last 7 months now learning to walk this tightrope. I've learnt the basics and now I need to get to a more advanced level of tightrope walking. It can be done, others have mastered it, so I can too.

Have a good week everyone. X

allie_82 · #**172** 31-05-2016, 15:51

Hi Donzie!! Congratulations on getting to the end of the "weight-loss" part of your journey!! You should be so incredibly proud of yourself!!

Be firm with yourself in maintenance and you will be fine... that is where I failed but I am slowly getting back on the right path...

I wish you all the very best for your future and go out and enjoy your new found slimness!!

Donzie · #**173** 05-06-2016, 16:07

Week 30 finished = 67.2 kgs (+.6 kg loss)(NO MORE left to go).

Well, what can I say. How quickly the weight loss tables can turn.

I've been maintaining for 6 days now and have managed to put on over half a kilo! There were a few incidents though that contributed to this. Lets just say my peanut butter craving has been well and truly satisfied. Also I did make a batch of biscuits for the kids and ate 6 of them myself. I know, I know (what was I thinking).

Actually, although I am painting an uninspiring first week on maintenance it has been a rather good 6 days. I needed to have a splurge, so I did. Now, I am back to enjoying my healthy food with just a few little extra bits to enhance it further. I'm feeling good.

I've added some sauerkraut to my breakfast (one egg omelet with veg), a little shaved parmesan cheese to my chicken salad (utterly delicious) and lately I have been stewing my apples and eating them as an apple crumble ( I crumb a couple of crackers along with 3 macadamia nuts and tablespoon of desiccated coconut plus cinnamon and a good pinch of salt) this tastes amazingly sinful - yet isn't. I'm trying to lay off the peanut butter on crackers, but when I can't I try to fully enjoy it.

Still keeping up the water. So far so good. I bought a couple of blocks of dark chocolate and have them in the cupboard but am yet to feel the need to go there - I will in time, but I like that I can take or leave them right now.

So that is this week. I hope to see the scales move downwards a little as I'm sure it is mostly water weight I've added. I just want to get back into a routine of sorts so I can give this whole diet/food/maintenance thing a lot less thought than I have been.

I hope this coming week is even better.

Thanks Allie for your congratulations. I hope you are doing well too. X

Donzie · #**174** 13-06-2016, 09:24

Week 31 finished = 67.4 kgs (+.8 from Refeed)(Finished Refeed at 66.6)

I really must do a maintenance diary.

Not a bad week this week. Still feeling a bit constipated though (which is weird) but certainly better than other recent weeks, I'm having BM's but only every 3rd day or so, which is fine, but with all the extra food I am eating I wish I was more regular. It's a bit strange to me because I am eating plenty of fibre and drinking lots of water. Anyway, it's getting better, lets hope it continues to improve.

So, what is going well and what is not going so well.

WELL

Am still sticking to the basics of Cohen's eating. I still have a one egg omelet for breakfast with veg. Before Cohen's I never ate breakfast, I drank coffee until lunch time most days, I didn't really feel hungry in the morning and besides mornings were always so busy - so why bother. I really want to continue with regular meals at regular times beginning with breakfast so I'm determined to not let breakfast fall away. So far so good.

Lunch is a salad with a protein most days. I still only dress it with balsamic vinegar - I've grown to like it this way.
I usually finish lunch with a piece of fruit.

Dinner is again a meat and veg meal, just larger quantities than on the EP. I haven't really strayed far from the Cohen's principles with my meals, is this good or bad, I'm not sure. I haven't been out for dinner yet, or had a few drinks (alcohol). It's interesting to me how after not drinking anything for 7 - 8 months I have completely lost my taste for alcohol. I don't crave it at all, but I haven't really been out socially since finishing the EP.

NOT SO WELL

Snacks are probably where I'm not doing as well.

Mid morning I stew an apple in my thermoblend with a little diet sprite, I crush up some crackers (usually 3) with cinnamon and a tbls of desiccated coconut and a good pinch of salt. I put the crumb over the apple and enjoy. This is pure comfort heaven, but rather than feeling satisfied and content afterwards I immediately wish I could eat it again. I don't of course, opting for a peppermint tea or coffee instead, but it does appear to poke the craving monster inside me.

The other snack I'm having a little trouble with is peanut butter on crackers. I'm buying the 'Mayvers peanut and coconut blend' its sugar and salt free, but MY GOD it is hard to stop eating it. I usually spread a teaspoon on a cracker or three and enjoy, followed with a teaspoon or two without the crackers.

I have no doubt this PB is responsible for me being almost a kilo above refeed weight, but I wonder if this preoccupation I have with PB is actually in response to being on a very low fat diet for an extended time? In which case I think if my body wants/needs it then lets give it, the last thing I want to do is restrict a (real food) craving and create a binge/diet cycle. Something I have struggled with in the past. One thing I have noticed after eating PB (which usually prompts me to want to drink a lot of water afterwards) is how gloriously full, satisfied and content I feel afterwards. It's a great feeling, being that content with what is only really a tbls or two of peanut butter. I can literally go hours without even thinking about food afterwards - that has got to be a good thing.

So that is where I am now. I haven't really strayed far from Cohen's yet, which I'm not sure is all good. But then I do think the beauty of Cohen's is it does give you a blue print of what simple healthy weight maintaining food looks like. If I can continue to default back to this blue print when I do stray I will ultimately be in a better place long term.

The other thing I have been thinking about lately is "Binge Eating Disorder". I have definitely suffered from this in the past, although the last 5 years have been a lot better. Yes, I have eaten more fat inducing food than I should have in the last 5 years undoubtedly, but that out of control feeding frenzy hasn't been there like it was in prior years. I think a big reason it has improved is my stress levels have reduced. I definitely think for me anyway bingeing was a response to stress and I know it is unrealistic to expect to avoid all stress long term. So learning strategies to manage stress without turning to food is going to be very important.

There is a lot to think about.

Have a great week. X

jkari · #**175** 14-06-2016, 07:34

"So learning strategies to manage stress without turning to food" - Some very profound words there Donzie - I can certainly agree with the sentiment!

Well done to date on your maintenance, are you finding day to day you think less about food and planning of your meals or is it still very much in the forefront of your mind? I can imagine not having to think about the 5 hour time gap anymore would be lovely...

Whilst you say your not doing snacks so well, I think the fact that you are so aware of each teaspoon of peanut butter that you are consuming is an indication that you are still very much in control and living just the way you should. I found last time did Cohens (2009) and reached maintenance that keeping a food journal/logging each and every morsel really helped to keep me honest, at least until I found my feet. If you don't already have it - MyfitnessPal is great app for this.x

Mish · #**176** 15-06-2016, 19:58

Wow, well done Donzie
Awesome achievement

Donzie · #**177** 26-06-2016, 11:29

Week 33 finished = 66.7 kgs (+.1 from Refeed)(Finished Refeed at 66.6)

So far all is going well. Generally still sticking with basic Cohen's style eating as mentioned in previous posts, with the addition of extra bits and bobs (mostly more fat via avocado, nuts, peanut butter, etc etc) am keeping away from bread and sugar though.

It's definitely a little harder to keep up with the water in winter, but I'm drinking more peppermint tea than usual which I reckon can be counted as water too.

School holidays start this week, so not so much running around in the mornings (the morning school run is my cardio) so will need to watch things like snacking a little more.

Hubby is planning a few days away for us over the holidays - which will be nice - but will mean more eating out than usual. Looking forward to getting away though.

Not a lot to report really. I went out for dinner and drinks last weekend, was lovely but the wine did effect me more than expected. I was ok during the event however I did feel under par the next day - haven’t missed that feeling let me tell you.

So, my first month of maintaining is going well. I haven’t strayed too far from the Cohen principles, but I haven’t really wanted too either.

I hope everyone is doing well. The forum is a quiet place these days.

jkari · #**178** 28-06-2016, 07:48

Well Done Donzie! One month into maintenance and it seems like you've really found your groove and rocking it! Do you still stand on the scales each day? or have you found yourself more relaxed in the land of maintenance?

I must admit whilst the idea of some wine with friends sounds wonderful - I'm already a little scared about the prospect of bringing alcohol back into my life -without fail after each of my weight loss successes, I inevitably have a night out, where the next day is a complete disaster.....

Thanks for continuing your diary, I have come to rely on you popping into the forum each week with your words of wisdom

rettstar · #**179** 01-07-2016, 22:00

Hey Donzie - lovely to see you're now on maintenance, congratulations.

Your diary has been pretty interesting to read for me tonight - thank you for maintaining it.

Bucklebunny · #**180** 01-08-2016, 13:38

Hi Donzie - your diary has been a great read.

Yes it is quiet on here these days, but I'm continuing to use my diary - it helps me remain accountable.
You have done an amazing job to lose more that 38 kgs in 6 months. I'm inspired by your tenacity and today, when I'm feeling a bit down, it has pumped me up again - thank you