Can I do this ??????????????

[chef69]

My problem is low self esteem and no faith in myself..I have tried every diet or healthy eating programme out there. Every time I get going my Husband will bring home loads of chocolate and take aways. Then tease me with, Oh this is lovely would you like a bit, I would say no but he would then give it to me anyway, so to avoid a row I would eat it. I know that I should not and feel so guilty afterwards. I dread going shopping for clothes and ahte the way it makes me feel.I am sick of constantly wearing looose clothing. Boy would I love to wear something curvy. Oh and as for my boobs.I had an injury in work last year and damaged my back, shoulders and neck very badly. Have been in physio three time s a week on constant major pain killers. But because of the weight of my boobs I cant get my back sorted. I am in a vicious circle. So to get my back sorted I have to lose weight. To make me feel better about clothes shopping, I have to lose weight. To be able to play with my children, I have to lose weight. But most of all to finally be proud of the person I am, Ihave to lose weight. I need help though and I know thatI wont get it at home, sadly. Anyway here is to a new me. I hope. ????????????? Wendy

[thenewvee]

Hi Wendy!
It's unfortunate that your husband feels so insecure that he has to constantly sabotage your efforts to do something good for yourself. You have this forum to help you and you can also look into other forms of help whether it is a good friend or professional help, especially if you want to address those feelings of low self esteem.
May I suggest also look into Louise Hay's work and see what she has to say. According to her, we have to learn to love ourselves so that we have the strength to make the changes we want in our lives. We create everything in our lives by what we think, and we can change how we think so that we can change what we create!
You deserve this gift you are giving yourself and you are so worthy of being successful at it as well!

Vee

[Kohinoor]

Hi Wendy,

Hey, Vee said it good - really good. Some great ideas there....

Re hubby, well, it may well be time for you to take control. You might decide if he tries those antics again, to just say "I'm going for a walk - look after the kids for a bit..." Hopefully your "out of character" action might cause him to ask questions, thus allowing you to broach the subject, and to share what this journey means to you.

If he STILL doesn't get it, then maybe an accidental elbow in his ribs next time he tries to feed crap to you.... THAT ought to get a reaction....

Failing that, you could always put him on rations !!!
(That will fix his little red wagon FOR SURE.... )

Sweetie, Asy always says - "You can do it - you just have to WANT it badly enough !!" You CAN do this, in spite of the lack of support elsewhere - you can always count on us to help you get on your feet, and to get "cruising" on this gift of a Plan !!!

Good luck,

Koh

[FlaMie]

yahahahah Wendy, you sound so like me initially. I was totally a disbeliever in the Cohen programme - many of the oldies here can vouch for that (yea Koh? . I've also got a hubby who is such a foodie but not much of a weight problem (sigh). He would bring home food for me and oh well, I can only blame myself for eating and not being determined enough to say NO.

11 months down today, I'm actually done with the programme. I could never see myself doing that 11 months ago and I'm still living in this make-real world hahaha. Go for it gal, you deserve to be nice to yourself and yea, go for that shopping!!!!

[Harriet Vane]

Mr Vane is one of those skinny people who can eat cake for breakfast every day and stay skinny with no exercise. He is still eating cake and chocolate, but for meals he's just having what I'm having, plus a bit more (and a breadroll with a hamburger patty, for instance). Thankfully, he hasn't 'tempted' me.

But the overall thing, I think, is that you have to do it for you. It is incredibly insensitive to tempt you, but you have to be committed enough to say no, or you'll be finding and giving into temptation everywhere you go. (For instance, I never realised how food centric the shopping mall is until I started Cohens!)

[lil_doll]

Hi Wendy,

I wish I had something helpful to say re: your husband... but I don't really. I can't imagine how hard it is to have someone flaunt food in your face like that... I am still around food all the time, but it isn't maliciously shoved in my face like that.

I think you need to have a talk with him if that is possible...

Perhaps you can just go do something else while he is eating? Obviously you doing something about your weight problem has him feeling a little insecure... he needs to know you are seriously serious about this and you need him on your side, not as the enemy.

Good Luck, Wendy!

Missy

[Shanara]

Hi Chef,

Wow having that sort of support is going to be a challenge!

Guess you can either let you derail you or you can use him as a motivating force and say I am going to show you. Trouble with both those approaches is that it is still outside yourself. That makes it about him. Honey the way to succeed on this programme is to make it about you ..... you.... you!!!

Yes, be totally selfish. Do it for you. Love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of a slim, healthy body. Only you can do that. No one else can be responsible for you.

Apart from him getting you down on the floor and shoving it in your mouth ultimately it is actually you that makes the choice. He is playing a game - one you may not know the rules of. Point is - how long do you want to play his game and maybe it's time to take control of your part of the game. You can't control him = only your response.

Good luck and enjoy your journey to health.
Shanara

[kiwinui]

hey there Chef,

I think others have said what i want to say.

It is about you, and maybe, just maybe what you said in your post is what you shoudl be saying to him? How would that go down.

A lot of us have a strong empathy for where you are at, many of us have been there before....

There is a lot of support available here if you decide to take the journey.....

Take care there...

[Future Yummy Mummy]

I think the others have said things I wanted to say better than I could, but you CAN do this if you want to enough, and we'll all be here to support you if you do.