Future Yummy Mummy's Diary

[Future Yummy Mummy]

I've got my programme and have decided that the start date will be 1 January 2010 - New Year, New Me.

It sounds like a bit of a cop out to wait, but we're going on holiday over Xmas, staying with relatives, and it seems rude to be demanding 105g (EXACTLY!) of chicken etc.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading this forum over the last few weeks. I don't think I'd planned to do a diary, I certainly didn't want to reveal my weight even on an anonymous forum, but reading others' diaries has already helped me a lot. Maybe what I write might help others in future.

So here goes .....initially some pre-Cohens meanderings.

I don't remember a time when I wasn't overweight. I grew up in Scotland, a nation known for its healthy eating , and my Dad worked for Findus (frozen food company) and so got discounts in the Findus shop. We seemed to live on Findus crispy pancakes and Penguin biscuits.

I was also clever, spotty, and wore glasses, and so had the social skills you'd expect from a fat, clever, spotty, four-eyed teenager. I went to university probably around a size 14-16. I look back now and would love to be that size, but when the cool girls are size 10-12 that's no good. I also ended up in a fairly snobby university doing a course where those whose expensive private education failed to get them into Oxbridge ended up. I was told in Freshers Week that "you can tell you're from a comprehensive school, you wear too much make up." He's now a QC.

So I didn't fit in, and got into alcohol in a big way.

After my second year I joined Weightwatchers and lost about a stone. I also had my punky dyed permed hair chopped off and discovered my hair was actually dark brown, and several people didn't recognise me when I went back.

I met my husband shortly after leaving university and we got married in 1990. I distinctly remember the "trauma" of shopping for wedding dresses. Every dress seemed designed for an anorexic virginal 16 year old, and I felt like a giant oaf. I did eventually find a nice dress, lost a bit of weight through healthy eating and swimming every day before work and, with the help of a very expensive basque, looked actually quite nice as I walked down the aisle.

Over the years I've become myself. By that I mean that I'm competent, confident, sociable, and most of the time I feel like the person I'm pretending to be.

But the weight has always been an issue, and kept piling on.

I lost a fair bit around 1996 with Weight Watchers, together with cycling 12 miles per day, but then we moved to Singapore and I was working long and anti-social hours and having beers after work with my new colleagues. And back on it went.

In 2001 I was about 97kg. My job scope changed temporarily and I had lots of free time during the day. I spent 2 hours per day in the gym, followed the Weight Watchers programme on my own, got down to about 80kg and was as fit as a butcher's dog. I even ran a 7km race and every time I drive over Benjamin Sheares Bridge I'm amazed that I managed to run up it.

Then I got promoted, so couldn't spend 2 hours per day in the gym. There was also lots of team building coffees (and cakes) with colleagues.

In early 2003 I tried Atkins. Lost 5kg in 3 weeks (while we were on holiday and I was still drinking moderate amounts of red wine) but then someone else cooked dinner a few nights running, used sauces etc that weren't on Atkins and I put on 5kg in 5 days.

I got a really bad back in February 2003. I discovered in July, after months of absolute agony, that it was an ovarian cyst pressing against my spine. We had a few days of worry that it might be cancerous but it wasn't. It was removed, along with an ovary.

In 2006 I found a lump in my side. My GP said it was a lump of fat and I was so ashamed that I never even told my husband. It grew and grew and I worried myself sick. Eventually my gynaecologist identified it as a hernia, resulting from the previous surgery (although obviously not helped by my weight). I had another operation to fix that in September 2006.

And then it came back, so I had a re-repair in April 2009.

The only advice the surgeon can give me is to try to lose weight (but I'm in too much pain most of the time to exercise) and not to carry heavy things. I have a son who'll be 3 in January and I try to avoid lifting him where possible, but sometimes I have to.

2009 has been the year of bad health. I discovered (loooong story) that I'm on the way to getting osteoparosis (my mum has it and my bone density is a bit low). diabetes (my dad has it, and my glucose is a bit high) and I've an underactive thyroid (from dad). I've been taking tons of supplements and have cut right back on carbs and tried to eat unrefined where possible, but only lost about 2kg in 4 months.

The final nail in the coffin was a discussion on a forum about obese people and how they're lazy and lack self-control. I took this very personally. I'd say I eat reasonably well, and can't exercise enough to lose weight due to my ailments. The big weakness, though, is the booze.

Baloo and SMS are on the same forum, they've mentioned Cohens a number of times, so I PM'd Baloo for more info and here I am.

I'm now 101kg and my goal has been set at 60-63kg. Having read so many posts on the forum I'm in no doubt that I can do this, but it was wierd being told 60kg. I don't remember EVER weighing this and I can't even picture what it looks like. I've e-mailed some friends to see what they weigh as I had no reference point.

Interestingly, in every diet I've done I've never quite got to the end, but this one will be different. The fact that it's quicker is good, as when you have this much to lose it seems insurmountable.

Initially I wanted to be "done" by June when we go back to the UK on holiday (I was aiming for 70kg) but if that doesn't happen c'est la vie. I'm accepting that this is a change in lifestyle and the journey is part of it. I've been reading some of the maintenance diaries too - very useful.

So 1 January 2010 is the big day*. If 2009 was the year of bad health, then 2010 is going to be the year of good health. We're planning to move to Perth by the end of 2010, and no-one there will know me as fat person.

I am determined. I love my son to bits and I want to be around to see him grow up and to be in good health.

* We're also doing toilet training starting then too. Should be an interesting few days.

[hexi2]

Hey Yummy Mummy, yep this is very doable...we can spur each other one, I am starting on the 4th! Enjoy the festive season and I dont think waiting is a cop out, not at all! Just gives you some more time to get your frame of mind ready and raring to go!

[Future Yummy Mummy]

Thanks Hexi. Yours was one of the diaries I read (your cravings issue) and it was very thought provoking and humbling. I admire your honesty and determination to win and I'm sure you'll have your Graduate Diploma in no time!

[lil_doll]

Hey there FYM!

Great first post

I am really looking forward to watching your progress! Oooh and we have the same goal weights I too have no memory whatsoever of being anywhere in the 60's. I can't wait to the new me! haha

I am 169cms tall... how about you?

xMissy

[Future Yummy Mummy]

I thought I was 165 but it turned out I was 168, I must have grown!

[Fang63]

Welcome FYM, an interesting post i must say. Sorry to hear about your bad health issues but as they often say "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". I myself found out i had a brain tumour the year after I graduated uni, the neurosurgeon told me that it probably started years earlier when I used to complain of headaches for which my GP at the time sent me to relaxation classes, DOH! I still have the tumour but am happy in the fact that it probably won't kill me. Sorry blabbing on a bit there... but yes I was surprised to see what my goal weight was, I jokingly say to friends that I haven't been 82kg since I was ten, lol.

When u start in 2010 I am sure u will find it fantastic as many of us here did, good luck til then.

Andy

[knickerless]

First of all can I say and forgive my flippancy - growing up on Penguins? I am very very jealous...
Seriously, I love Penguins!! We can buy them here in Perth occasionally, my logal supermarket has a good range of UK chocolates...mmm Double Deckers, Lion Bars, Revels. Probably not the most appropriate repsonse to a thread but you got me reminicsing!!

Welcome to your own diary, I was the same as you - never would have thought I would have one but now I do and I find it helps to record your feelings, what you eat each day etc etc

Cohens sounds perfect for you in that you are unable to exercise, who would have thought you could expect such great results without slogging it out in the gym?

I am sure that by the time your trip home comes around you will be looking and feeling fabulous!!

[sundaymorningstaple]

FYM, sounds like your head is in the right place. I did exactly the same thing. Baloo introduced me in Sept 07 as he was entering refeed. I researched the programme for over 2 months, trying to find a way to diss the programme. I couldn't. So I paid my money the end of November with a mid January start.

When I started, I was already finished the programme. I already had lost the weight in my mind and the actual programme was only a process as my head was already there - the body was playing catch-up! Sounds like you are in the right head-space as well. It should be easy for you if you keep it there and remember 'this is for you'!

sms

[Future Yummy Mummy]

Today is my second day on Cohens.

I was a bit worried that I'd put on loads of weight on holiday and was expecting a terrible few days of detoxing, but in fact I only gained 700g. And had a GREAT holiday!

So yesterday was the big day. Breakfast was horrible (hadn't realised how hard it is to make an omelette in a big pan with one egg) and around mid-morning I got terrrible feelings of self-loathing - how the hell had I let things get to this state that I had to eat 1 egg and wait 2.5 hours for a tasteless biscuit. I was quite hungry, but not unbearably so, although I did drink 2 litres of water by lunchtime.

Started feeling better during the afternoon, and really enjoyed my steak and salad for dinner. Actually felt quite full afterwards and had to remember to finish my fruit and crackers.

Out of curiosity I weighed myself this morning and I'd lost 1.8kg in a day. I mean, I know it's temporary and might be water blah blah blah, but WOW! Never done that on a diet before.

We met some friends who are in Singapore for the day, today. They wanted to go for lunch so I took my packed tuna salad with me. I explained to the Maitre D' (sp?) that I was on a restricted diet for medical reasons and could I eat my own food and pay a cover charge, and he said no problem and no charge*. So at least I didn't have to eat in the car.

So all going well so far. Only real problem is that my son keeps trying to eat my food and wants a cracker when I have one! Not feeling unbearably hungry, and not really missing booze. I keep having to remember not to taste food I'm making for others.

* Szechuan Court in Raffles City, for anyone who's interested.

[lil_doll]

Hiya FYM!

Sounds like your day one was pretty smooth! Well done.

I bought a really small (20cm) pan for cooking and it works quite well... although I haven't tried an omlette yet.

I remember I lost heaps of water weight very early on... it's so funny how we all like think it is not real... but guess what? IT IS! Even it is just water weight (my clinic told me fat loss doesn't start till like week 5 or something), but weight is weight, and you were still carrying that water weight and now you arent! Hoorah!

Keep up your water, you're doing fine!!

xoxo
Missy

[Newloser]

Well done FYM for starting a new year so positive! Keep it up the weight will melt off!

[hexi2]

Funny about your kids wanting the crackers - mine too. I ended up carrying around extra crackers just for them while on program.

And yep 1.8kg is great! Who cares what it is...its no longer on your body and never will be again

[Future Yummy Mummy]

Day 3, just after lunch and I'm feeling very hungry. Made a tuna curry as was getting sick of salad but not very filling. Looks like I'll eating a lot of salad. Felt quite dizzy and light-headed this morning. I'm sure this will pass, and I deliberately started on 1st as I don't start work until 6th.

Have been feeling very "emotionally energetic" though - spent the day sorting out my son's toys, will start on the CDs/DVDs later. Must be Cohens bringing out my latent OCD!

[hexi2]

Yep the plain salad thing can get very boring...

why not try out some of the recipes on the recipe thread? perhaps rissoles bulked up with shredded zucchini/squash, my fave feta and cauli soup, thai chicken balls, steak and mushrooms grilled in the pan with a splash of balsamic?

there are lots of exciting ideas to make things seem not so bland and boring...to me protein and salad can get really boring really quickly

today i reckon i am gonna try out stuffed calamari with mushrooms baked in the oven - not sure if it will work but give anything a go!

cheese grilled over asparagus or tomato is also a great one that i love and the other day i did a baked fish with chilli, green capsicum, onion and lime juice...

happy recipe searching and you will come up with some of your own

ps: dont forget a good range of herbs and spices, fresh is always great to keep things interesting

and soups are also another way eg; chicken and cauli or chicken and celery together....

[Future Yummy Mummy]

Day 4 and I'm feeling pretty good. Felt satisfied after breakfast (yoghurt with crumbled cracker) and just really enjoyed cauliflower cheese for lunch. I think I'm getting used to the toddler-sized quantities.

Popped to IKEA to get some bags of frozen prawns then realised that they're cooked so no good. Then I had problems starting the car so detoured to the garage for a new battery. Luckily I had emergency crackers in bag for mid-morning snack. Test drove a car while I was waiting as thinking about what car to buy when we move to Perth.

I'm resisting the temptation to weigh myself until Friday (a week) but my face looks better already. My husband is eating the same as me, but more of it and with carbs and he's losing weight too. I'll be so peeved if he loses more than me! He also decided to give up drinking for January and interestingly is struggling with this more than me. I think it's because in his case it's optional and with me I have no choice. Soda water in a wine glass is suiting me fine at the moment.

[hexi2]

Well done but yeah dont be surprised if hubby looses more...very often the case!

congrats so far - doing well

[Kohinoor]

Hi FYM,

Your words (below) put me in mind of an old story that made a lot of sense to me :-

I think it's because in his case it's optional and with me I have no choice.

And that story was about a fox that was chasing a rabbit while the fox's mates watched on, and betting on the outcome !! Spectator Fox #1 said "He'll get that rabbit for sure" Spectator Fox #2 said "No way!!" It transpired that Fox #2 won the bet (i.e. the rabbit got away). The spectator foxes then held a "post mortem" of the situation. Spectator Fox #2 made the telling comment that "There was NO WAY fox could get that rabbit - 'cos fox was just running for his lunch, but rabbit was running for his LIFE!!"

Hehe - it always amused me - but there's so much sense therein eh?

Koh

[curiousgeorge]

Hi FYM, congrats on starting the Cohen's journey. I started on 28th December, also in Singapore so hit me up if you want to compare notes.

Originally Posted by Future Yummy Mummy

...Breakfast was horrible (hadn't realised how hard it is to make an omelette in a big pan with one egg)

The kitchenware section of Cold Storage has these cute little single-egg frying pans for a couple of dollars. I beat the egg and throw in diced green capsicum, onion, zucchini and whatever else is around (allowance) and do a frittata. Great breakfast.

[sundaymorningstaple]

As noted before, a 20cm pan is perfect for our needs. I did my whole diet out of one pan. Invest in a good non-stick one (the ones with the heavy bottom and patterned with a waffle pattern in the bottom are great). It's also great for 1 egg omelets as well. Oh, by the way, you can have 1 egg. Weight can be up to 80gm I believe. You won't find them that big in Singers but you can find 70+ gram ones if you go direct to an egg distributor and talk nice to 'em. The average large egg in the market or CS or Jason's is 60gm or at a push occasionally 65gm. But at $3/6 that a joke. I pay ~$6-7 for a tray of 30 at the distributor.

[fornight]

I actually bought a cute small frying pan, especially for fried egg! It costs like $3 and it is non stick as well. It works great! Perfect round shape for the egg.