Totaly lost!!

[skinnytobe]

I'm just going to say it, but.... I deviated. A lot. I am so so so soooo ashamed. I cheated 2 weekends ago, and thought I was going to get back on track last week Monday. I tried and tried, but everyday I gave in. I did get motivation and pulled my self together and started yesterday again, weighted myself and everything.

Everything went well till 2 hours ago. I was so hungry,and was so board I didn't think it through and just ate other stuff again. Freeken again!!!!! I cant believe it. I don't know how im going to get my head back in cohen. How the hell am I going to start again??? I cant control myself. If I started, I can not stop. I'm scared its cohen doing it to me, because last time I finished cohen I also couldn't eat right the whole week and only cheat on weekends, that's why I picked everything up and more. Im so so so scared that if I would be able to get on track again that afterwards its going to be the same as when I ended the last time and now after I cheated. I know I must just get my head together, but its easer said than done. I have said that words so many times to myself. I don't know what to do anymore, I am so lost. Worst of all I want to be thin on our holiday when we go in September for our first anniversary and want to get my body in shape because we want to try for a baby end of the year. All of this is also working on my nerves and the more I think of it that I wont be able to get that body soon enough the more I want to eat.

Im sorry but I need to get all this stuff out. I just want to cry and cry.....

[WhereAmI?]

Skinnytobe please don't beat yourself p! I know what that feels like and it's not nice!! OK, you are scared, we all get scared and I'm going to hazard a guess that most of us have deviated from time to time!! I know I have the last few days!! BUT looking back can't fix it, we have to focus on the now! So can you do this with me? Lets focus on getting through the next hour, stay away from temptation, drink your water and focus with me, we have got this!!!

[Andie27]

Hi Skinnytobe - I've deviated too after months of success and 27 kgs later! I understand exactly where you're at. I'm detoxing AGAIN, I just want to eat all the time and I'm irritable and moody. There is nothing worse than the pressure of our own self expectation. Meaning that we expect a certain level of commitment, achievement etc from ourselves that we put way too much pressure on ourselves to be 'on plan' all the time that when we do deviate it breaks our hearts because we know that in that one particular moment, we had a choice and we chose something else over ourselves. We deliberately self-sabotaged our progress because at that one particular moment there was a slight crack on our resolve and determination. The pain that you're feeling is your disappointment in yourself and the downward spiral into negativity can get worse if you don't take control. My heart goes out to you. I feel like crying most of the time too and even more so because I'm halfway and have put up unnecessary obstacles in my path. I think to help you refocus, you might want to reconsider what your goals are. Start with short term achievable goals, aim to have one goal a week. A bit of soul searching is a good start too to tackle your emotional reactions, there may be a completely understandable reason and you might need to cut yourself a bit of slack. In the end, you're the only one that can your state of mind and is responsible for your happiness. I hope this helps, if anything at least your not alone in the deviation boat, I'm right there with you. Give yourself a hug, it's not easy to wear your heart on your sleeve like this. You're very brave. I hope you feel better soon. Hugs Andie

[jaccari]

Hi there.. My hand is up waving at you cos im in the deviation boat as well.
I have had a lot of trouble getting into the mindset as well..

I feel like dam it !! I did it again when I deviate.. I find I get back on the eating plan and I read all the diaries and comments and it really helps to know what other people are going through and im not alone.
YOU are not alone either as you can see reading through all these comments.

keep going Cohen sister and we WILL make it..

jackie

[skinnytobe]

Hey all. Thank you for all the reply's. I really appreciate it. I picked a lot of weight in this silly 2 weeks of madness. But im not going to beat myself up about it, because its going to make it harder to get back on track. Im seeing it as a learning lesson. It proves that reefed is indeed very very important. Im going to make it my mission to see how quickly I can lose this weight again.

Andie I got a tear when I red your post, because I look up at you. You always seems to have everything under control and you have so much advice and the best motivation for everyone. Its true. Im must be scared of myself. If im going to try and eat healthy its going to be same in maintenance than when I was on cohen. I need to get myself in control.

Jackie, YES we can do it. We did have our heads right at one time. We have done it, we can do it again. As whereamI says. Taking it hour by hour. We can all do this!!!!!

We are strong. We have the ability to say no. We do have what it takes to make this work and get the bodies we want.

Im full on board cohen again.

Let me know how it goes with you guys.

Have a great week!!

[Andie27]

Hey you! Glad you're not beating yourself up. It's a learning journey, about ourselves at the end of the day. Hang in there sweetheart.
Hugs Andie 😉

[WhereAmI?]

Come on guys, I need you!!! We can do this, yeah we are having a tough time at the moment but we are goi g to get through it!! OMG, I'm leaving him in 2 sleeps, I'm terrified but elated, I want me back, I need you guys to help me get back on track xoxoxoxoxo

[Andie27]

Am here for you darl. Have no fear you're not alone. Am so impressed with your determination. You're going to get yourself back and then some. You're going to be smokin hot and then you'll be more confident with an amazing outlook on life. Hang in there babe. We deserve this and are doing this for ourselves.
Come on, we can do it.
Hugs Andie