Donzie 2.0 in 2020

[Donzie]

Dear Donzie

Today is day 1 of week 2. (Size AU 16)

I am feeling pretty good today after a week of low(ish) energy and dull headaches, I'm please to note though there was nothing extreme to report on my first week.

This is my second time around. I was successful in losing 36kgs in 2015/2016 during a 26 week period (SIZE AU 20 to SIZE 8 ). While the weight loss was amazing and transformative from a physical perspective, the real magic (for me) was the mental and emotional shift that took place in that time.

Quite incredible really that in a short 26 week period I had become a new person. I viewed myself differently, it appeared others viewed me differently. That fog of dissatisfaction, and probably low grade depression, lifted and dissolved more with each passing week. It was an extreme change both internally and of course externally. Kicking that fat suit to the kerb did more than just improve my physical health.
I was able to become more acquainted with a part of myself that was previously buried over. Hidden from view by negative thoughts and negative observations.

So, over the last couple of years (certainly more over the last 12 months) that person inside has become buried again in that fat suit of negative thoughts and observations. That general dissatisfaction has gathered more and more, manifesting in poor food and exercise choices and feelings of hopelessness when it comes to managing the battle of the bulge.

So, I know what to do. All things have their time (I believe) and this is my time to embark upon Donzie 2.0 in 2020.

I am writing this diary to document this process. This diary is for future Donzie (big wave to you future Donzie) I have got your back always, or is it you who has mine, I am hoping to create a type of road map we can travel together over and over and kick that damn fat suit to the kerb and manage life without it more permanently.

I want to remind you how much I love you. You are fun, creative and kind and have the ability to have and be anything you wish for. We have an important job to do. All those goals and plans we made require us to be happy to manifest them.

Now today, I will be reaching beyond those negative thoughts and feelings to go searching for you. I know your there I can feel you, I don’t need to see you. I know you reside in the space beyond thought, I feel your quiet calling to me.

Till we meet again
Donzie x.

[Kohinoor]

Hey Donzie,
I really liked your thoughts in restarting. Your talk to your "inner Donzie" reminded me of several others on here who did similar things. For a bit of a look at how others faced their own path, do check out some of the latter pages of "gems" as there were several "awakenings" by several Cohenites.


You are sure to agree/applaud some, while others might be on a different path to yourself - but I guess it shows that there are many different ways to tackle the same issue. Some may be inspirational to you, while others you may just skip over. Whatever your choice, it is all good, and all yours.


Some wrote letters to their "Inner Fat Chicks", saying goodbye, and welcoming in their ISC's (you'll know who she is !! ) Others valued talking to their "inner child" who they thought was sabotaging them just to get attention to long-held yet unresolved issues. Many different ways - no one size fits all, but all might be valid each in their own way.


In case you don't know of "Gems", click the link below to start at page 6, then read on. Of course, you can go to other pages too, your call !!

http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthr...?t=3782&page=6



Rock on - go tag team with Kristine perhaps,
Koh

[Donzie]

Thank you Koh,

You are such kind and welcome presence on this forum. A wealth of knowledge and a committed force for good. When I did Cohen's the first time you were not on the forum at that time, and I always wished you were.

It is lovely to have you here this time.

Thank you again.

[Donzie]

Week 3: Day 3 (Size AU 14/16)

Dear Donzie,

I’ve got through the first two weeks. This is no minor achievement. Establishing those new patterns around food and water are never easy as your body and mind resist all change. So am feeling somewhat satisfied with myself.

That relentless mental chatter has had the volume turned down somewhat this week and in it’s place is a calmer but slightly numb feeling. This is fine.

I feel like I have settled into an anchored pattern now. Being on the EP has eliminated so much choice that it is comforting to have so little to think about in terms of food and its associates. There is a bit of effort in the monitoring of supplies which really is a welcome distraction. I am up at the supermarket buying apples every few days and pondering my choice of leafy green veg. Silverbeet has been the vegetable of choice lately.

I keep forgetting to take the vitamins and upon closer inspection see they are well out of date anyway. They are probably doing nothing but I continue to take them when I remember. Long hair don’t care.

Speaking of hair I had it all cut off. Just so sick of myself and how I look it was an easy decision. Chop it off. Done. One more less thing.
It makes looking in the mirror a bit easier, I look different now. That’s good.

Work is busy. Too busy really. I am up early each morning monitoring emails before I get the kids up and ready for school. I wonder if I wouldn’t be better off getting a full time job somewhere, this freelancing gig can be exhausting physically and mentally. You are either overwhelmed with too much work or in a panic because there is not enough. But hey, the grass is always greener, right.

I haven’t been weighing myself. I’m not sure at what weight I began this EP. I realise this is not what the EP is about, it’s all about the numbers. But strangely I don’t care about them this time. I’ve had a weird relationship with the scale in the past where its feedback would effect my mood for the day, so I am happy to ignore all numbers this time around.

I did go back and look at some photos from 2015. I was alot heavier when I started last time, but I look now how I looked at about 8 weeks then. Somewhere between 85kg - 90kg. I estimate a total of 16 weeks of time before I am ready for refeed.

Last time I lost a clothing size every four weeks. With a large loss of over 8kgs the first month, then an average of 5 kgs per month after that.

It’s interesting to me how the tummy deflates first. My whole middle has been pulled in, I like this sensation. Of course no one around me has noticed anything yet, I am in the same clothes as per usual they are just a bit looser. I feel like I’m on a secret “shrinking” mission and I’m happy to be undetected in this quest for now.

I have two favourite times of the day. The first being that last meal of the day, dinner. I get dinner for the kids and hubby first, then I make mine. I usually save one of my apples for dessert and I love that feeling of fullness that comes from eating meal 3 and an apple so close together. Not long after that I am ready for bed where I normally read for an hour or two.

My second favourite time of the day is that first black coffee in the morning. I have been waking up super early and enjoying the quiet solitude it brings. I love that coffee, that quiet time alone.

Anyway, as always till next time,

Donzie.x

[Mich]

Hi Donzie!

Great to meet you! I LOVE your post and resonated with it so so much! Looking forward to supporting you in the best way I can!

[Donzie]

Week 5 Day 4 (Size 14)

Finally over the 4 week mark, and now have my eye firmly set on the 8 week mark. My half way point.

I’m starting to feel quite good, the body has let go of a lot of fluid/inflammation and I’m feeling my energy levels rise with each kg that leaves.

My mind is clearer and I find myself in a nice state of neutral most days. A nice state of contentment.

I had a milestone birthday a couple of days ago and decided to treat myself to a head-to-toe spa session. First was the body scrub, then the massage, and finished up with a relaxing facial. A totally blissful experience. I was really able to calm my mind which doesn’t always happen in these situations. But this time it did.

Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good. Clothes a generally looser, however not enough that anyone would notice but that’s ok. I’m also sleeping really well and waking up refreshed. The days feel like they are passing quite quickly as I’m busy and focused on everything but food most of the time.

It’s a good feeling to just let go and completely give yourself over to the EP. No wrestling thoughts on should I have this or that. Just keeping it very simple and not getting too creative with meals and recipes. Just sticking to a couple of favourites really and trying to not think too hard about anything.

Hopefully work will calm down a little next week and I should be able to fit a few more things into my week, like morning walks and online tutorials - you know the things we tend to drop when time is short.

Life is good, I’m a calm observer appreciating the small changes I’m seeing and eager for more. A good place to be in.

Till next time,

Donzie x

[blondetastic]

Hi Donzi,
very inspiring reading your posts. Thank you!! Glad you are noticing positive changes early on - but thats the norm on this EP. All the best as you head toward the half-way mark and the completion.

[Donzie]

Week 7 Day 5 (Size 13)

This week I’ve been wearing my size 13 jeans. How nice it is to be able to slip these babies on without cutting off the blood supply to my lower half. In fact everything I put on is looser and looking better than it has in quite some time. This makes me happy, very happy.

Actually I would go one further and say, I am happy, very happy with everyone and everything generally. Which is no easy feat given all the doom, gloom and fear pouring out of the newspapers lately. My rose coloured glasses are firmly in place and I feel in the flow with the universe. Yep, not even a global pandemic can kill my Cohen’s buzz. How good is that.

(Hubby is quick to point out my Cohen’s buzz will definitely be threatened if there is a national coffee shortage next after the toilet paper shortage, hmm.. he knows how to push my buttons. Hadn’t even thought about that one.)

I am also brimming with energy. I’m sleeping well (and in bed earlier than my usual) and the result is my productivity has soared this week. Work has flowed in at a slower and more manageable rate which has seen me find time to knock over some much overdue housework. I’ve mopped floors, steamed off grubby little finger prints from walls and even cleaned the oven and windows. You know you’ve got your act together when your cleaning your windows as it’s always one of the last jobs on the to-do list, isn’t it? Anyway, all these things combined have contributed to my happy state of wellbeing, and I’m going to milk it while I can.

The only problem I see on the horizon (apart from global pandemic and economic depression) is the social occasions coming up. There are birthdays, restaurant invites and now a wedding all presenting in the next 8 weeks. While it is lovely to be thought of and invited to these events, they do threaten to unhinge one being deep in the zone. Anyway, the birthdays aren’t too much of an issue as they are for family, the wedding happens in my week 16 (I could make this my finishing treat) but the restaurant invite, hmmm...well, I could pull the “mild cough” card and need to self isolate excuse? What better time?

I still have no idea of what I weigh or how much I have lost. But I know it is working as intended because life is just feeling that little bit easier physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m more aware of all the blessings that surround me, and of course the more you notice the more they flow into your experience, I believe.

I also believe while the world is a little crazy right now, things will return to normal eventually. In the mean time I going to try and enjoy the lower petrol prices and interest rates, and leave the worrying to others. Provided we all act to slow down this virus and allow medical services to focus more on those who are really in need. We should all be ok. I hope so.

Till next time,

Donzie. X

[blondetastic]

Great attitude Donzie. I'm feeling it. I'm seeing this situation as a rare opportunity. Love your mindset!!

Sent from my SM-A305YN using Tapatalk

[Donzie]

Week 10 Day 2 (Size 12)

I have sat down to write in my diary about 5 times now, but my thoughts keep changing and I have found it hard to commit any words to the page.

Initially I began writing words of fear. Fear of how fast our world has changed in the last few weeks. Fear for my parents in their 70s and fear for our economy. There was another post about the fear I felt for America and the hopeless situation we are seeing over there. Fear about our vulnerable place in todays world and what will be the broader fallout in it all.

But, today the fear has subsided. It’s still there, but what is the point? To fear and worry about something before it happens only means to suffer twice if it does happen. The fact is, it’s a beautiful day outside. I have a roof over my head, and currently healthy family. I live in a country with a robust safety net and health care system. I am safe and I am well.

My responsibility here is to sit tight in our house and think thoughts of hope, calm and opportunity. To focus on life after this COVID-19 period. Yes, it will change our world possibly forever, but it will also give us the opportunity to do things better. To hit the reset button.

The truth is the world ends for someone somewhere every minute of everyday and there is no guarantee it won’t be us. I will not waste time worrying about things I cannot change. I will not. It’s a beautiful day outside and I get to experience that beauty right now. I am safe, and I am well.

So, with that out of the way.

Things have been going well. The total lack of social anything has been a great opportunity for me to just focus 100% on the EP completely and unselfconsciously. I’ve been fortunate in finding the necessary food I need, so it’s been all systems go, and on a physcial level I am feeling really good.

I am waking up rested and energised. I have the energy I need to keep on top of the physical demands of keeping the house reasonably tidy and organised with two kids homeschooling and adults working. The days are passing very quickly now. I had to remind myself what day of the week it is - Wednesday in case your also wondering.

My poor dog doesn’t understand why we aren’t taking her to the park on these gorgeous Autumn days. But she gets a very early morning walk at 5.30am each morning so she will be fine.

I’m into my size 12 jeans now. Actually I’m wearing my size 13’s today and they are getting loose and slouchy just the way I like them. I have been having fun shopping my wardrobe, and wearing many things that have been tucked away in the back for a couple of years. I am in my own little bubble really, enjoying the wonderful experience of slipping on things that didn’t fit 6 weeks ago but do now. It’s a lovely place to be in.

Life has gotten simple really. The rush of school, work, home, repeat, has stopped/slowed. I know it might not stay this way for too long, but for now I am going to try and see it as an opportunity. I know there are many working in hospitals and service jobs that would love to be at home now. My job is to stop, stay in, work my EP and be grateful. For I am safe and I am well.

Till next time.

Donzie. X

[blondetastic]

Love this post!! Needed the reminder about not worrying about things I can't control. Congrats on size 12!! Sounds like you're making the best use of current circumstances.

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[starry]

Yes I agree this time we can focus on our diet! I didn’t have to be tempted by all the snacks and take aways in the mall. I just prepare my food and not have any distractions and temptations. This slowing down has given us a chance to focus on ourselves. I am only in week 2. I wish to be like u, trying on my old clothes too 😆😆 Will hang in there!

Starry 😊

[Donzie]

Week 12 Day 7 (Size 12 still)

Today is the last day of my week 12. How good it feels to have gotten this far as it looked like an eternity away when I first began. I think for most people 12 weeks on the EP usually means between 15 - 20 kgs down and I am no exception (if I was a betting woman I’d put money on 18kgs down for me at this time) but I don’t know for sure having avoided the scale completely.

What has happened in the absence of the scale is I find myself guessimating my weight through the various clothes I can now get into. When I did Cohen’s the last time I bought a pair of Levi jeans when I was 74.9kgs I remember they were quite tight initially but got very loose towards the end. Well today I can get into those jeans but they are far from loose, hence I reckon I’m around the 75kg mark now.

As I lost further weight last time I made other jeans purchases so I am now using these as my roadmap. Which in the end I think is a better metric to go by than the scales both on the way down and the way up (maintenance). If I can associate different articles of clothing with different kilo amounts I should be able to keep a reasonable tab on how I’m tracking without falling into the ‘obsessive scale observation’ (OSO) habit.

I don’t think I’ve lost a lot in the last couple of weeks. I’ve been good and had no deviations. Nope, just think I’ve hit one of those plateaus we hear about in other diaries. I’m not too bothered about it as I have not been overly hungry and am finding the EP routine relatively easy at present. I do wonder if I will need to stay the course a little longer though than my initial intentions of 16 weeks? Perhaps 18 -20 weeks might be a more realistic time frame? Anyway, will take it a day at a time, what else can you do.

Size 12 is actually my happy place. I feel like it’s a nice balance between looking good in clothes and still looking nice and round in the face. But I will continue on and see how I feel another 5 kgs down. It would seem like a waste of this time in social isolation to not use it constructively and stay on the EP. Not to mention it is so much fun to feel your clothes getting a little looser each day until they need to be replaced with a smaller size. Small things I know. I just need the routine, control and personal satisfaction that comes with the EP at this time.

Work from home and homeschooling doesn’t make for a productive week. Try asking a 6yo to watch a video from their teacher and follow her instructions while Mummy answers emails. You get approximately 2 minutes of attention from them before they are crawling around under their chair, refusing to do any more work without your help.

My 11yo is a bit better fortunately, he appears to love the idea of having meetings he must attend online, but often runs out of puff when it comes to doing the actual work and submitting it.

He had a fractions test today. Hubby and I were horrified to learn he didn’t have the first clue about fractions. I mean we could have been talking in a foreign language for all the sense it made to him.

We later learnt after a concerned phone call to the teacher that’s because they haven’t actually learnt fractions yet, she was just checking to see who knew nothing, a little and who needs extending. That was a relief, we don’t need an emergency Maths tutor just yet. Communication can quickly go astray in these strange times.

But there is nothing else to do than plough on and hope like hell we don’t traumatise the kids too much with our less than ideal teaching skills. There is a slight glimmer of hope that school may resume in about 3-4 weeks if the virus is able to be contained and community transfer is halted. Fingers and toes, fingers and toes.

Till next time,
Donzie. X

[Kohinoor]

Hi Donzie,
Good to hear you are still trucking along fine. Strange times indeed - I also thought it a bit strange that teachers would "have a fractions test" to see who knew what BEFORE teaching any of it. Like, how did they think a youngster would know anything of the kind? Weird !! Maybe if they have older siblings, they might have learned a bit by osmosis..... but it still sounds strange.


Anyway, you do sound great - so keep it up lady !!!


Rock on,

Koh

[Donzie]

Week 15 Day 2 (Size 10)

Still here plodding along at home. The days feel like they are just blending into each other, and the weeks are ticking over quickly. I am grateful to have this diary to help mark the passing time and note the small changes as they occur. I think the real value of this diary is when I read it in the future at another time when I’m wanting to shed a few(or alot)kgs. This journey is really all about the passage of time and going the distance. It can be difficult time if you focus on everything you are doing without, or it can be easy time, focusing on the things you are gaining. I’m trying hard to let it be the latter.

There is one time in the day that is deeply satisfying for me. It’s that time when I go to bed. I have a slightly lemony taste in my mouth, it’s an after taste from my apple (dessert). It tells me I have been successful today, that lemony, slightly astringent taste. I seek it out each night now “do i have that taste in my mouth, yes I do!” It tells me I’ve won today. I love that taste.

After a couple of weeks feeling like my weight hadn’t shifted much, this week I have noted my clothes are again looser as centimetres have left my frame. I’m feeling good and happy with what I see in the mirror. It’s so nice to have a waist again and I have been wearing belts every chance I can.

It’s endlessly fascinating to me how the weight leaves my body. Initially it was all from my waist and middle, then hips, back, thighs, shoulders and lastly arms and calves. Obviously I know it reduces all over and not just these individual spots, but it does sometimes appear to me like it starts in the middle and radiates out. This is in complete contrast to how children grow. They seem to grow first in the extremities such as feet and hands, then cms appear in their calves/legs/forearms/arms then eventually torso. It should be noted I have no scientific proof of this, none, just a personal observation

So, I’ve been feeling a little more hungry of late. I’m not sure if it’s a bit of diet fatigue setting in, or just self isolation monotony. I’m not really craving anything in particular and am happy with my Cohen’s food list, just really looking forward to my next meal.

I haven’t been very creative with my meals, the risk of making something I don’t like much makes me stick with the same 2 or 3 recipes for dinner. Breakfast and lunch are always the same. Omlet with mushrooms and chicken salad for lunch. It occurs to me I have been dairy free this whole time. Suddenly I miss cheese! Perhaps I should have a cheese meal soon.

After trying on several smaller jeans I estimate I’m around the 72 - 73kg now. Getting close to that elusive 70kg mark. Most of twenties was spent around 70kg (I did a lot of jogging in those days) and it’s a nice weight for my height of 170cms. Funny how in those days I was a definite size 12 (at 70kgs) today though it’s a size 10. I do believe clothing sizes have increased significantly from those days.

So now my thoughts are focused on when will be a good time to start refeed. At this stage I’m thinking 1st of June for no good reason other than I should be just under 70kg by then. I don’t feel pressure to go as low as I did last time (which was 65kg) as I was very thin by then and to be honest people’s reactions were more negative than positive by that stage. Not that I really care about the opinions of others. But I don’t feel l need to be ultra thin either, just a sensible weight that I have a fighting chance of maintaining would be good.

Isolation has been a godsend really with regard to doing Cohen’s. On the television people are talking/joking about the COVID KILOS we will all need to lose when it’s over. This makes me smile. Not me!

Till next time

Donzie. X

P.s. Thanks for popping into my diary Koh, BT and Jesse. Hope your all doing well.xx

[Donzie]

Week 18 Day 5 (Size 10)

So, still Cohening.

Truth be told if I’m honest I’m a little/a lot apprehensive about coming to the end and switching to a maintenance plan. While I’m on the EP I’m in the drivers seat and in control, and in contrast, coming off the EP means taking your foot off the brake and hoping like hell you don’t hit anything. (Ha ha....quite the dramatic analogy, I know.)

But my time on the EP is coming to close soon. I keep thinking I should be reading my refeed and maintenance guidelines about now in the mental preparation of what’s around the corner. But alas something prevents me from doing so. I think I know why.

One of the reasons why I think I have found the Cohen’s “Eating Plan” so successful is because it’s very black and white with very little grey area. You are either adhereing to the rules or you aren’t (deviating). Having these strict guidelines in place reduces my mental load. There are no decisions to be made by me other than my choice of fruit and veg. My biggest thought regarding my diet is calculating the time before I can eat something. “Ooow, 2:39pm 21 more minutes until my 3pm cracker snack” I kid you not.

Coming off the EP means a million more decisions about what to eat, when, and how much. This is how the trouble begins.

I try and imagine what a successful maintenance would look like. Is it just the Cohen’s EP with greater quantities and a little alcohol on social occasions? Hence following the EP during the week to allow for splurges/indulgences on the weekend.

Would I be better switching to a CSIRO style diet (I recently picked up their new ‘Protein Plus’ book) which would give me a new and fresh set of rules to follow, while presenting to others as eating normally?

Do I try and eliminate all wheat/gluten from my diet as this appears to be the culprit with regard to overeating? So, jump on the ‘gluten intolerant’ bandwagon in the attempt to slow down the weight gain? Keep in mind I also have a husband and two sons to cook for each night.

Or is a combination of all of them with the added reality that I might just need to jump back on the EP for a month every year? Is this even doable? See what I mean too many bloody decisions already!

I read a book a while ago now (while I was intermittent fasting) called ‘Stop bingeing now’ it was written by a psychologist Glenn Livingstone who found this little mental trick to help him shed and maintain his weight.

His theory was we have two brains 1. Our higher reasoning brain and 2. Our lower primal brain. Our higher brain knows what we want regarding diet and lifestyle, what is in our best interests etc. but it gets hijacked by our lower primal brain who only knows (kill it, f**k it, or eat it!). This lower brain is like a psychopathic binge eater (which he dubs his ‘PIG’) whose only goal is to sabotage the efforts of the higher brain and eat pig slop(Junk food) at every opportunity. Before you know it we are walking around mindlessly obeying our PIG and our best laid diet plans are out the window.

So, he then goes into detail about A).Clearly identifying what is the PIG talking in our heads and what isn’t. B). Silencing the PIG once identified. Over time the PIG when ignored gets quieter and quieter until eventually he gives up and it is no longer an effort to identify or ignore. It’s just normal.

Anyway (hang in with me now) it has occurred to me that being on the EP is just another way of learning to ignore our PIG. Yes, that PIG fights like hell in the first week or two but soon gives up the fight and gets quiet when we consistently ignore it. Then before long it’s almost week 19 on the EP and you’ve lost over 25kgs, beautiful and best of all no PIG thoughts to contend with.

Ahh, but alas, just one thought of ending the EP and loosening the reigns a little and our PIG is now awake and squealing for his pig slop. So, this is a very delicate time because new routines and rules need to be set in order to quiet that damn PIG again.

I think this is why I am a little reticent to dive deep into the refeed/maintenance world and avoid reading this part of the plan, it reawakens my PIG.

But I can’t stay on the plan indefinitely. Change is the only consistency we have. I’ll keep you posted.

Till next time

Donzie. X

[Kohinoor]

Hi Donzie,
Some really good soul-searching going on there. I'd think you might do well by reading some of the diaries of those who have gone before (even your own? Did you make it right through a previous time?)

Re the "PIG", the girls in here talked of an incessant squabble between their IFC and ISC (Inner Fat Chick and the Skinny one). Like Glenn and his PIG, the shouting of IFC gets weaker and weaker over time.

Sure enough, Refeed and Maintenance are different - Refeed is more like a chemistry test (what happens if we mix a bit of this with the stuff that is known to be OK?) but you are the guinea pig. So long as you journal every change and beware of just what is happening, you'll likely cruize thru that and on into Maintenance.

The MAIN thing I heard re Maintenance is to "take baby steps". Or, if you like, keep the muzzle on your PIG. There isn't enough time in Refeed to test every possible food type, so Maintenance is the real test. It calls for a cool head and a determined soul. The shackles aren't off, but those that think they are become destined to fail. In Maintenance there are tricks that allow you to drink a little at a wedding or wherever, but (like chocolate) don't let it get out of hand. And yes, you can even eat "bad" food - but do it advisedly (i.e. don't binge - savour the taste critically - you may even find the yearning you had for it was misplaced, and you really DON'T want to eat it again). With Maintenance, I prefer you look at your path as "Trial and Feedback" (not "Trial and Error" - as it is not your error at all - it is feedback to let you know how a particular food-type has you react). So, try stuff - slowly and carefully, and build up a journal of knowledge re YOUR body.

A good topic to read once in Maintenance is this one (but there really are heaps more - this is one of MY faves):-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6408

Good hard Donzie - you have walked a good path thru the Plan. Do check out Refeed guidelines SOON as you need to be ready to "add extra amounts as a trial" one day at a time - and that can take some careful planning ahead of time.

Cheers
Koh

[Donzie]

Week 19 Day 1 (Size 10)

I have begun refeed today.

When I began the EP back in January I was tired and depressed. Life had become a struggle physically and emotionally. I was turning 50 in a short few weeks and I wasn’t happy in myself. I didn’t want my 50th year to be this way. I needed to find a path back to me.

I decided that the best gift I could give myself for this milestone was a complete reset. So I committed to the EP whole heartedly and I am so glad that I did. I feel complete gratitude for this wonderful program and the immense knowledge this forum provides each and everyone who has participated in it. Thank you.

My time during the EP turned out to be a strange moment in history with the Coronavirus interrupting life as we know it. Fortunately it made ‘Cohening’ a lot easier and I am so very happy to have spent this time investing in myself. I think it really did help keep my sanity.

If there is anyone else out there reading this diary and feeling how I felt and wanting to hit the reset button on their health and wellbeing my advise is go for it! You will not regret it. You will learn you are more than your thoughts and habits.

I mentioned earlier in my diary that this journey is about the passage of time, that is true. But it’s also about learning to let go of the thoughts that have not been serving us. We are not our thoughts, we are not. Thoughts are our servants not our masters. They are malleable and can bend to however we want them to. They can lead us away from our higher self or they can bring us closer. They are the secret superpower we all possess that can manifest the life we want, the person we want to be.

The EP did much more than strip kilos/cm from my frame. It helped me to strip away those unwanted thoughts that had crept into my mind slowly, insidiously over time. It helped me to jump back into the drivers seat of my life and get moving forward. Only now I have purpose and expectation. Will there be setbacks? Of course there will be. Will I trip and make mistakes? You betcha.

But, I can always find my way back here again. I can read this diary, take a deep breath, and do this again and again and again if need be. Hopefully gaining a little more wisdom and insight each time.

The reward is actually the journey not the destination.

Till next time

Donzie. X

P.S. A special thank you to Koh. You are a ‘True’ force for good and a kind and benevolent mentor. I can only imagine how blessed the people around you must feel to have you in their lives. Rock on!!

[Kohinoor]

Hi Donzie,

Now I know why I always looked forward to reading your words - you write superbly and always have interesting, well-written, and sage comments to make. Fortunately, I know just what to do when I get to read words like this !! Now, where is that Gems topic......

Thanks for your contribution thus far - I look forward to hearing how your Refeed is going (and that is one of THE most important periods in this whole Cohen Plan). If you have any queries, you know where we are - and I usually pop in daily at some time. Thanks too for your kind words to me - I do enjoy helping in whatever way I can, just like you all do for each other. In essence, I love the vibe of this place (though much quieter now than it has been, it still holds special memories and success stories that cheer me).

Rock on Donzie - bring on Refeed !!

Hugs,
Koh