Blondetastics Diary

[blondetastic]

I have been through this program before but didn't complete refeed though I have received my refeed program. I love the Cohens way of eating not purely because of the weightloss but because I also feel amazing when I eat the foods.

I want the diary and the forum to help and support my effort and keep me motivated. I want to use every single tool at my disposal and do it right the first time this time.

I can't wait to start tracking my progress and learning how to make permanent changes. I also want to help and inspire others and am looking forward to that too.

Cheers,
BT

[Wendym1221]

Hi BT
Welcome to the forum this is a great place for motivation and support
If you use your diary to journal your experiences you will motivate people for sure
Cannot wait to see your progress

[blondetastic]

Thank you Wendy, I look forward to following your progress

[SWANS05]

You can do this. Welcome back. You must have done great last time to get to refeed.

[Donzie]

Welcome Blondetastic,

I look forward to learning more about you. Good luck with it all. I'm almost at 11 weeks now, and cannot believe the changes I am seeing. Such a remarkable program, but also a blueprint of how we should be eating permanently.

[blondetastic]

Thank you Swans05 and Donzie. I'm off to a good start. Not going through a clinic now so I need to work out when I will weigh. I'm currently 117.2. I was at 140kg in Jan 2015, got to 103kg in June 2015 then went through a really bad time with someone who is still giving me some grief but I'm coping a lot better now. Im glad I didn't put all the weight back on. When I originally did the program I was at 65kgs when I fell pregnant and had to stop. That was a long time ago. It's time to do it for the last time ever.

Started work and I'm looking forward to getting back to 103 then everything after that is going to be awesome. I will do pics from a bit lower weight, I really can't deal with looking at photo's of myself at the moment lol. Thank you for the awesome welcome everyone

BT X

[Fuzzy]

Welcome back on plan! Wow you got to 65. Awesome.
Befote you know you'll be back there. Good luck!

[skinnyPIG]

Welcome back Blondetastics! I'm starting week 3 tom. So far so good. Hope to get to RF as I didn't get to it the last time. Also reading completed diaries help keep my focus. Good Luck on your journey.

[blondetastic]

Ok I have tried posting a couple of times and got a message about new posts and too many URLS. Anyone know what that's about please?

[Donzie]

Hi Blondetastic,

Sounds like you have been working hard at it yourself for sometime. I think you are going to see great results again, I mean, you clearly have the discipline for it having done so well on your own. You might not feel up to putting photos on the forum of your current weight, but I'm sure you will feel differently as you start to drop and the transformation begins. You've done this once you can do it again, only this time you know all the pitfalls to avoid.

Look forward to hearing more from you.

[blondetastic]

Help, I keep getting this message if I post a longer post:


vBulletin Message
Post denied. New posts are limited by number of URLs it may contain and checked if it doesn't contain forbidden words.

[blondetastic]

Wanted to say ty to everyone for visiting my diary. (I have tried to address you each individually but the site wont let me do long posts for some reason.)

I'm so into this, in the right headspace etc. The fact that you can see quick results is definitely a motivator. I am finding drinking water easy. And I went to a great rock concert on the weekend, all the dancing and warm weather helped me lose a kilo. I'm hoping I will be able to do longer posts in here soon. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.

BT X

[blondetastic]

Ok I think I worked out the posting issue. So here is the stuff I wanted to post before.

My lowest adult weight was 62kg. I had to work pretty hard and eat very little to maintain that. But I liked being that weight though some felt I was a little too thin.

When I hit my 30's I kind of got stuck anywhere between 70 and 90 which isn't too bad (well up to about 80 it isn't - being 5 foot 8 most including my doctor didn't realize I weighed as much as I did)

When I first heard of Cohens, I was 108 kgs. In my first month I was down to 99 and it took me about 4 months to get to 65. That was when I unexpectedly fell pregnant. Of course I had to stop the program. I ended up miscarrying a few weeks later.

Towards the end of that year I had another stab at it after regaining some of the weight and almost got there.

I have gone back on it a few times, and failed. I know why. (Something comes out of failing a number of times and that's understanding myself better). General tough times don't faze me too much. What does is issues with people. Worrying too much about what others want/think etc. I would turn to food for comfort. Needless to say this doesn't work well if you don't want to put on weight. Lets face it there is always going to be difficult people.

I also have a problem regarding where my motivation comes from. At the end of 2014 I hit my highest weight - 140kgs. In January it was a fresh start. I got down to 103 kgs by June. Then emotional garbage which had been going on for the 6 months anyway just got the better of me. My exact thought process was this: "Stuff this. Everyone else I know who is finding life tough is eating whatever the hell they want, doing drugs or drinking alcohol. I have been standing and dealing with no crutches for 6 months and I have had a gutful."

Yep I had full on adult tanty. But the thing that really stood out to me was it was me rebelling. On the surface it looked to me like I was playing the poor me card. What I realized later on further consideration of my thought patterns was I was basically sticking my middle finger to everyone saying I will eat whatever I want. I'm tired of doing this. Which leads me to believe I was doing it for the wrong person. Why sabotage myself? How is that showing anyone? Anyway, it took me another 6 months to get serious again. Fortunately I tried to be careful during that time. My ultimate weight gain stopped at 122.4. But I mostly kept it around 116. Probably in December was when I put on the last few to take it back to the 120's.

What helped me stay positive was reminding myself I am ahead of where I was this time last year. I think toward the end of March 2015 I was 118. So currently I am 2 kgs and ahead and it's only January still. I was still down by 18kgs.

So I know by June I can definitely be under 100kgs. And I can and will finish the rest by the end of the year. Including refeed. So next summer is going to be awesome.

Previously I loved feeling healthy so much that when I thought about the afterlife, I knew I would want to keep eating healthy. Some things I know I will never touch again. Others will be a once a month thing. I'm looking forward to green smoothies, working out, other fresh foods and organic stuff. I have eaten like that before while doing strength training and felt amazing though the weightloss was slow. This time I want to lose the fat first and get into training/working out to define my body more later. That will likely start next year.

I think the clinic originally set my goal weight at 64kgs. I will decide when I get there if I want to make it 62. I am fortunate that my body tones up really well. I can't wait to be at that stage, but in the meantime the key is enjoying the journey - every gram lost, every victory no matter how small.

I would like to measure but I'm hopeless at it - I must do it in diff spots because some areas never seemed to go down while others went up lol. Of course thats not possible with Cohens so I tend to used the scales and clothes as a guide more than the tape measure. Until I can find a sure fire way to make sure I'm measuring myself accurately.

BT X

[Donzie]

Hi Blondetastic,

Such a wonderful authentic post. How do you feel after writing it? It's kind of cathartic isn't it? I feel like we are quite similar (I too can not be bother measuring myself, would just rather go by my clothes) and like you this journey for me is very much an internal journey. This weight needs to be released because I am not that person anymore, I don't need it any longer. It has served its purpose, I acknowledge that, but it's no longer required. Its that simple.

And you are so right about enjoying the journey, the goal really is inconsequential. There is no arrival of goal, the real goal is understanding the journey is the goal, not the 64kg or 62kg.

I can't wait until your 10, 18, 24 weeks in so I can hear about your journey. I will be right here with you.

[blondetastic]

Thank you Donzie, yes it is very cathartic doing posts like that. I need a lot of that at the moment. I def believe the outside is influenced primarily by what goes on in our heads. So as I go along this journey I'm sure there will be a lot more self examination and posts like that. Love how you put the excess weight in like a compartment I guess I would call it, and say you don't need it anymore. It kind of simplifies it all to think that way. That's very much how I need to be, get to the point, recognize the simple truths instead of overthinking and worrying. As Nike says Just Do It

I am weighing every day at the moment - it's just what I do at times. I'm losing 200g day which is as good as a weekly big loss. So on average it looks like it will be 1.4kgs a week. But if its less I don't care as long as it's a loss. Breaking it down (as I love to do, a weekly 1.4kg loss would amount to 72.8 kgs in a year. But it leaves room for the odd gain (preferably NOT a result of deviation, just the usual things, fluid, hormones, life lol)

I can notice a difference in myself this week - that's one of the best parts of Cohens.

BT X

[skinnyPIG]

Love both of your insights BT and Donzie! I'm actually scared once I finish EP and RF. I keep telling myself now that I cannot go back on my old eating habits. Hopefully I will have a clearer mind and stronger will by then. I need to live my life and not constantly think about my weight and worrying what to wear. There so much to life. I hope that we can enjoy it someday...

[blondetastic]

Skinny, it's overwhelming trying to consider a life where concerns about weight are no longer the foremost thing on our minds. I'm sure it will loom large for a long time, but maybe the key is to make it work for us, eg. instead of being overly critical and judgmental of ourselves and decisions we make keep some reminders of where we have been and what we went through to change. Take time even months into maintenance to celebrate what we accomplished. It's not something that should ever be forgotten or watered down. Its always going to be a learning curve but maybe having it on our minds more often than not after refeed isn't such a bad thing. I believe we will feel more confident and that in itself is going to help us enjoy all life has to offer.

I know it's probably not best weighing every day but ahh this is my journey so who cares lol. I was down another 400g which I didn't expect but I did up my water intake yesterday. My jeans which were difficult to get into 2 weeks ago went on easy. I think in a couple of weeks they will probably be too big. Pretty much everything I'm wearing lately is noticeably looser.

I bought a couple of nice tops which I can get into but I need to lose a couple more kgs before I feel confident wearing them. I can already tell they are going to look great once I do. I'm trying to do other things to feel good about myself. Bought some fake eyelashes and some nice body spray. I love summer - having a tan and smelling amazing is always a mood booster.

I have in mind a couple of things I want to do at certain goals (just have to set them). It's been years since I had my nails done professionally, I love a nice French mani. And I am really thinking about a different hair style. My hair is long and like so many other Cohen users, it seems to be thinning doing this. That could also be due to stress. I don't ever want to go short but I need to change the style to give it a bit more volume.


I'm hopeless at setting goals and rewarding myself. I really need to get on board with this. Hope everyone is having a great week.

BT X

[Wendym1221]

I am like you hopeless at setting goals and rewarding myself
The reward will be when I have gotten rid of the weight and feel happy with myself
Still will be stressing how to stay down but at least I will be down

Loved reading your diary

[blondetastic]

That's true Wendy, it's a reward in itself.

I'm feeling pretty meh today, low energy, tired etc. I know some of it is due to lack of sleep but I can sort that.

Battle with dry skin grr, thinning hair. I am taking zinc and hoping it will help my hair and nails. Also taking evening primrose x1 and Vitamin E x1 for my skin hoping it wont be so dry.

I am finding I am mainly drinking water now and less soft drink. I don't always eat all my crackers or fruit because I am honestly not that hungry. I just need to get more sleep, to boost my mood. My mood isn't affecting my motivation. I really don't want to let anything stop me reaching my goal this time.

We had dinner at a friends on the weekend. Roast, veggies, garlic bread, gravy, cake, choc custard and icecream were on the menu. I stuck to my plan and drank 1.25 liter bottle of water and a can of Coke zero.

Weightloss for last week was 1.6kg. I am noticing cms lost.

I have adjusted my ticker to reflect overall weight loss, it's more motivating.

When I'm feeling a bit more rested (brain will kick into gear) will visit diaries again. I really appreciate everyone's support.

BT x

[Wendym1221]

Hope you get some sleep soon that can be so hard not sleeping
If you are well rested you can just about do anything