Here we go... (Again)

StrongerThanSheKnows · #1 02-08-2016, 05:42

Hi Everyone,
Once upon a time I was surfergirl, and starting this journey for the first time. I was intensely strict and gave my life to the diet. It transformed my body. I lost over 120lbs.
I went from extremely large and restricted by my body, to sleek, athletic, and hot. That was great, but the confidence turned into something else. Something ugly, I somehow started to believe that the "new" me was better than the old me and others struggling with the same thing. I turned my back entirely on who I "was". I didn't want people to know.

And looking back, I don't like that version of me very much at all. She (I) was beautiful on the outside, and on the inside, obsessed with beauty and weight and what it meant. I stopped caring about my integrity, kindness, and compassion. I was miserable, and in the end, i didn't like me.
Well that's all over now. I have become me again, the me on the inside.

And
I love me now, I'm a good person again who recognizes the real stuff that matters in this world. But that love for me and my family (including my almost 2 year old daughter) leads me back here.
I gained weight during my pregnancy and it holds me back. I'm not as confident, and certainly not as fit. Now I don't want to be a super model, I know that doesn't make people happy. But I do want to be healthy and give my body the respect it deserves.
This time, I don't plan on stopping my life. I love my life. I will live it AND also be strict

and successful. That means going to restaurants with

Tupperware, and ordering a diet coke when I go out for drinks with friends. I'm cool with that. So here we go!!!
Last time, the forums were a life saver for me. It's my refuge when I feel overwhelmed. I love hearing from you all, and sharing our journeys. So please do chat with me, or share your struggles and successes. This diet is no joke, we need to hold each other up!
Much Love!
Stronger Than She Knows

Bucklebunny · #2 02-08-2016, 09:11

Hi STSK - there are very few of us around ere these days.
I, like you, am on my second Cohens journey and am finding the forum very quiet, but I still visit and make diary entries to keep me on track.
I want to congratulate you on the honesty you have expressed in your post. Its not always easy to admit such failings and flaws, but you have done so and learned from this.
I wish you well on your journey and will be back to read of your progress !

StrongerThanSheKnows · #3 22-08-2016, 07:20

Hey y'all. 3 weeks in and still powering through. I had a scare last night. We went out to celebrate a friends birthday and I ordered DC at the bar. But my second one tasted suspiciously sweeter than the first. It freaked me out and I didn't drink the rest. I was just so worried that after being so strong someone else could slow my progress. It's amazing how seriously I take this these days. It feels good though to be on the course towards what I want. Making it really happen. But it is also still hard. Every day I think about all kinds of illegal foods and drinks. But getting more and more confident I can and will resist too.
Going to see my folks this weekend and bringing all my food. But it will be like a mini vacation so it will be hard.
Hope you all are doing well!

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Winterboots · #4 22-08-2016, 09:37

It sounds as though you are in the "zone" STSK - when you don't want to take any chances to slow the progress.

Enjoy your time with your folks, its great you are going prepared as that will make it so much easier and takes away the stress of "hope there is something i can eat".

WB

Bucklebunny · #5 25-08-2016, 12:43

LinF - a lot seem to have moved to FB but I enjoy visiting all the different areas of this forum...

Bucklebunny · #6 25-08-2016, 12:47

Good luck on the weekend STSK
I too am heading away this weekend to a seminar for 2 days /nights. I will take my breakfast and lunches but dinners will be difficult as we have 2 official dinner functions to attend.
I'm already worrying about it but I'll do my best .. that's all we can do.

StrongerThanSheKnows · #7 28-08-2016, 05:26

Hey bunny!! Good luck to you too!! So far it has been pretty easy because we've been so busy I haven't felt as hungry as I do at home. Definitely glad I did all that prep work and brought my meals. Sounds like you're setting yourself up for success this weekend as best you can. My consultant actually said if you have to estimate on portions you can do a pretty good job eyeballing after all this time preparing out own meals. That made me feel better about my next trip when I can't bring my meals along.

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