Earth Angel Andie - 2015 Diary

[Andie27]

2/2/15 - Day 1
Daily Blurb: Am in the kitchen throwing out all the food that is NOT in my program and my hubby frowning at me like a little kid who just had his candy taken from him - poor thing, all that's missing is the lower lip quivering. I'm so excited, I've gone and bought the groceries for half the price of what we were paying and the fridge and freezer is stocked with fresh fruit and veges. I can't contain my excitement as I pull out my brand spanking new kitchen scales - they're so shiny! Thoughts of failure creep into my head before I even start and I worry about what other people think. Hubby comes over and gives me a big kiss and cuddle and tells me how proud he is of me for taking this small step.
Thoughts: I need to get healthy, I don't want to get sick, I have to get out of this depression.
Feelings: Depressed, apprehensive, ashamed, lonely, afraid.
Emotions: Hopeful and Enthusiastic
Physical Feeling: Hunger pains, headache, irritable, moody - poor hubby!

3/2/15 - Day 2
Daily Blurb: OMG - what have I got myself in for! I can't believe how ill I feel, surely this can't be normal. Then I have back to when I did the program (2009-12) the first time and I realized that I wasn't feeling half as bad as what I did back then. Phew! Sick feeling starting to go now - hmm psychosomatic maybe? Made the yummiest omelette today, have errands to run - oh no, I have to go to the mall and smell all the yummy food in the food court - oh help, this is going to be a challenge. Decided to eat lunch before I run my errands - at least I won't be hungry before I go and I'll just get in and get out! Back from running errands and no deviations - willpower is returning. Must check out the new you forum and think about posting. Did a boxing workout today and vomited - should have remembered excessive exercise is a big no-no! Won't be making that mistake again!
Thoughts: I can do this again, I know it worked really well for me in the past, I know it can again, I just need to 'stick with the program'! To hell with what people think.
Feelings: Settled and in control again!
Emotions:Calm and Confident
Physical Feeling: Tummy ache from boxing vomit and have pulled a muscle I didn't even know existed - never going to do that again!

4/2/15 - Day 3
Daily Blurb: My whole body is stiff and sore from that stupid boxing workout - again, what was I thinking! Hubby told me I'm a 'bull in a china shop' trying to do everything all at once - I asked him if we've met before! Of course, that's exactly what I am, I'm desperate to see results. Patience is definitely not one of my virtues. My headaches gone, drinking lots of water, woke up a bit more refreshed - wait a minute, could my body actually be responding this quickly? It's only been three days and even my skin looks a lot clearer - I love it! Must remember to put stuff in my diary. Am enjoying the new meals and getting creative with what I can have rather than focusing on what I cannot have!
Thoughts: I can hardly move a muscle I'm so sore, I need to move about and get the blood flowing to the muscles that I didn't know existed. Love the fresh sparkle in my eyes!
Feelings: Curious (want to get on the scales but it's too early to tell and I don't want to lose motivation).
Emotions: Empowered, Optimistic
Physical Feeling: My body is having an argument with my mind, about movement. The mind is willing but the body isn't! Oh dear, lesson learned the hard way - should be my middle name! No headaches, no hunger pains, feel energized - awesome.

5/2/15 - Day 4
Daily Blurb: Thank goodness my body is not so sore today - woke up with a slight spring in my step except for the tight calf muscles but a little stretching should fix that! I have clearer skin, eyes and outlook. I have met some great people already on this forum and only wish I had joined when I first started. Oh well, no point in looking backwards, I'm not going that way! Just remembered we're having dinner at a friends house tonight - what am I going to do, what if they serve something that I can't eat, what am going to do? Am now in panic mode, maybe I should call and inquire, would that be too rude? They're friends right - they will understand - won't they.
Thoughts: Oh no, I'm going to stuff up and I've only just started. How am I going to prevent an epic fail before I even complete the first week? Maybe I should just stay home.
Feelings: Apprehensive at the prospect of eating something that is not in my plan and offending the hostess.
Emotions: Fear, Nervousness
Physical Feeling: I feel a headache coming on.

[jessy]

Dear Andie

Awesome blog. Call your friend and tell her what your doing with Cohen's and a life style change, and take your own meal They should understand, and if they don't well that is so not your problem. Your being considerate by inviting her into your journey, and we all need support from out side of the forum.

You will be sailing through this in no time

[Andie27]

Thanks Jessy for the compliment and the advice and support. I will speak with her, I know I should, I am an Empath and worry too much about the feelings of others without giving them an opportunity to feel! I reckon my friend will be fine, I just need to communicate better with the people I care about in relation to what I doing and my health reasons as to why I'm doing it. I'm confident that everyone outside the forum will be as supportive as everyone inside - if not then I know who my true friends are. Thanks for the pep talk, I can get a bit carried away sometimes in my own ramblings.

[Andie27]

Evening Day 4 - 5/2/15
Got back from dinner with friends after having a really motivating conversation with the hostess, I was able to stick to my program 100%. Feeling really good about letting everyone know that I'm back on my program.

Day 5 - 6/2/15
It's Friday night - supposed to be 'drinks' night but not allowed alcohol on this program - I miss you ready red, red wine but glad with the thought of not waking up with a hangover on Saturday morning.
I've managed to make it through the working week without incident and am getting into the swing of things again. I found myself thinking about how easy it is to slip back into a 'Cohens' routine - feels great to be in control!
Thoughts: Yeah! I'm going to lose weight, nah nah na nah na!
Feelings: Excited, confident and loved!
Emotions: Happy - haven't been like this in a long time.
Physical Feeling: Energetic and healthy.

Day 6 - 7/2/15
Wow - no hangover, slept really well, am up early and actually feel like doing something other than sitting in front of the TV nursing a headache with junk food and fizzy drinks. All systems are go and I have found that keeping track of my thoughts, feelings and emotions this week has certainly helped to keep me on track. I know that I shouldn't, but I just have to take a sneak peak at the scales tomorrow morning - fingers crossed that I've made some progress.
Thoughts: Keep going, this is just the beginning of my journey, there are great things to come!
Feelings: Enthusiastic and Positive
Emotions: Courageous, powerful and strong!
Physical Feeling: Relaxed

[Ciors]

well done Andie, you've tackled some difficult situations extremely well...good for you!

[jessy]

Awesome up date Andie, I will be following you to the end, you are so very inspiring to read. Good food, sleep, gentle exercise has done ( from what I can read ) so much good for your psych... congratulations

[Andie27]

Day 7 - 8/2/15
Daily Blurb: Yay! Made it through the first week despite some tricky situations and managed to handle them all without deviating from my plan. Am too chicken to get on the scales at the moment, so have decided to wait until the end of the month. Even though patience is not one of my virtues, I will not succumb to the lure of knowing if the plan is working, I know it will, if I stick to it 100%. I must continue to have faith and to believe in myself. I have also decided to tell myself and others that this is my gift to myself, a healthy body and a healthy mind! It is time to change my mindset and give my attitude a readjustment in relation to my thoughts and feelings about my previous relationship with food. Thinking about my last relationship (with food) I have made a mental note that my old eating habits are a thing of the past and am now in a new relationship with my Cohen's Plan. Like any new relationship, I feel like I'm in the excitement stage, everything is making me smile and I can't wait until the 5 hours have passed when I can eat again. I flick through my Cohen's Recipe Book a half before each meal just to see what new and exciting meal I can create - so much love and attention is going into each meal, I savor every single mouthful and take my time eating making sure I don't rush it too much. I think I need to get out more - can't seem to stop thinking about food all the time.
My poor 'willpower muscles' had a very tough and thorough workout in the last 7 days, I must keep it going and have realized that I need to chunk it down - think week by week and on some days - day by day; and if needs be - hour by hour! Short sharp achievable goals to keep me on track, oh no - another ad for pizza just came on the TV - what is with these junk food ads, oh my poor stomach is growling, mouth is watering, need to get some fruit ASAP! Crisis diverted, mango is delicious, TV is off and am happy in my new relationship with food!
Thoughts: I can do this, I can do this!
Feelings: Determined to succeed.
Emotions: Empowered
Physical Feeling: Sore neck from sleeping too well

[Andie27]

Week 2 - 9 Feb - 15 Feb 2015
Weekly Blurb: YES! I have lost 6 kgs at the end of week one - couldn't help myself, I had to look at the scales. I have almost made it through my second week and I am feeling better than I have in ages. I know that I have lost weight this week too as I can feel it in some of my clothes already.
I am back into the swing of things with my meal plan by getting organised with my food. I remembered some of the tips, tricks and ideas from my first round on the program and this seemed to keep me focused.
My darling husband is seeing the benefits too and he has apparently lost a few kilos in the past few weeks. Bless his heart - he is so supportive.
I have a lot more energy and am sleeping better, my general well being has improved a lot too. I can feel the ripple effect already and I am even more determined to stick to my plan 100%.
I haven't had as many challenges this week as I did last week, even though Valentine's Day is coming, my hubby and I have decided to do something different this year and celebrate in a non-food related way. So we both have made a pact to come up with fresh ideas this year and I'm already getting excited about it.
I have a fancy dress party for a friends birthday coming up at the end of this month and I am hoping that my costume will fit a bit better - fingers crossed. The challenging part for me will be resisting the champagne and canapes that are going to served
I know that I will definitely need my willpower to get through this night, the party is on the same day as my first weigh in so fingers crossed the good news will keep me motivated throughout the night!
Thoughts: What should I have for breakfast tomorrow?
Feelings: Relaxed and Calm
Emotions: Happy
Physical Feeling: Energized and Revitalized

[jessy]

That is absolutely awesome Probably the largest loss for a week I have seen on here. Well done

[Andie27]

Week 3 - 16 to 23 Feb 2015
Day 3 (Wednesday 18th)
I've had to travel interstate on business and have had so many challenges it isn't funny. Firstly, on my flight, the attendants were offering 'salted caramel cookies' oh yeah. But am proud of myself for declining and instead asking for an apple! Yes, booyah baby! Second, after being collected at the airport by my driver, they decide to pull into one of the biggest fast food outlets for their breakfast. The smell was overwhelming! I almost succumbed to the temptation until I caught a glimpse of myself in the driver's rearview mirror! Shock and horror went sliding across my face as I noticed my double chin! My desire to be healthy and slim had won over my desire for a moment on my lips (then remembered that it's also kilos on my hips). So I sat in the car and gently hugged myself for choosing my health and wellness over a greasy heart clogging, cholesterol raising, downward spiral inducing, breaking the wagon moment!!!!
And so it begins, the challenges of the week (da da daaaaah) The Business Trip!!
To be continued....

[jessy]

Good on you Andie, your determination and patience will really pay off in the long run. Awesome strength is seeing you through

[Ciors]

That's awesome Andie....well done on staying strong through all of that

[Ladel]

Hi Andie

Good on you for staying strong! I always think my nose is my worst enemy, I can look at delicous food and may be mildly tempted. but to SMELL good food drives me insane. Well done!

[Andie27]

End of my first month!
Blurb: I have successfully made it to the end of my first month! The different types of challenges (and temptations) have been unbelievable and very trying. Some catching me off guard, others required planning and organisational skills.
My challenges included: exercising excessively (I'll never forget the boxing vomit!), eating out and being out of routine by having to going out of town (anxiety went through the roof), watching junk food ads on TV to being around junk food eaters and then finally attending a friends birthday party and not partaking in the drinks, food and/or birthday cake - which by the way was a gigantic cupcake tower! Received some really great comments though about how beautiful my skin is! It's all the water I've been drinking!
Having experienced all these challenges in the first month and overcoming them, I feel I have been given the boost I need to remain focused and I am more determined than ever to succeed.
Having battled with anxiety and depression, I am starting to recognize characteristics of myself that have been suppressed by my depression. I feel my confidence, strength, determination and willpower returning. I am putting this down to the simple fact that my program is working!
I have decided that for each month that I successfully remain on the program and deviation-free, I will celebrate by rewarding myself in a non-food way. So, this month I have decided to celebrate my success this month by finding a personal trainer to help me find the right exercises that will compliment my program and maximize the benefits!
Thoughts: I'm feeling so good!
Feelings: A renewed sense of self!
Emotions: Loving myself!
Physical Feeling: Energized!

[Andie27]

19 March 2015 - Monthly Update
I'm rewarding myself by finding a personal trainer to help me maximize the benefits of my new relationship with food. I have researched trainers and have found the perfect one! A women, same age as me (we're only a week apart) with a great sense of humor and a physiotherapy background to boot!

This how my first session went...We (my trainer and I) met a couple of weeks ago now and I have to admit, I was very shocked to see that the gym is rather private, not pretentious and not overcrowded with 'roid-heads' or 'Lycra-clad-loonies'!

In fact, the average age of a 'gym-goer' here looks to be around mid 30's - 60's - awesome because I feel like I belong. There are only a few people in at the moment and they're busy doing their exercises and everyone seems to have a smile for me!

Anyway, my trainer is taking me through each machine and apparatus - it's a whole new world to me. I've only ever been involved with team related sports and never set foot in a gym before so I'm feeling a lot like a fish out of water!

I'm glad I came prepared because my trainer gets me working each machine and apparatus that she introduces me to. Can I say right now - I absolutely hate the 'Stair Master"! The treadmill makes me feel like the back wall is going to smack me in the head and the exercise bike is making me feel like I'm going to go through the window! It just feels so weird exercising on these machines and not actually going anywhere - my poor brain is so confused because I there doesn't seem to be any scenery going by me even though I'm moving.

Nothing could prepare me for how I felt when I actually get off the 'stationary' moving machines. I had this creepy sensation that my legs feel like jelly and are lighter than air. It looks like I'm walking on the moon! My personal trainer is laughing at me and I can't help but giggle too!

I have decided that I love pumping iron - it suits me better than yucky cardio! The weights are by no means heavy and are apparently supposed to help me get used to them and are designed to strengthen and tone! I'm beginning to think that I might actually enjoy this part of my workout! Look out Miss Muscles, here I come!

This is how I went the next day after my first session...Wholly heck Batman! I can hardly get my ass out of bed. Every single muscle in body is aching - I am sore in places that I didn't even know I had a muscle there!!!! I stretch and it feels like I'm stretching a rubber band and at any time it'll snap! Stretching feels fantastic after the burning sensation, but I haven't actually put my feet on the ground yet. Oh my goodness, gracious me - I cannot believe it that even my feet muscles are sore - my feet muscles - what is up with that?

Anyway, I seem to capable of doing the normal day to day routine things when I'm back at my next scheduled personal training session. I have a new nickname for my personal trainer - she will, from now on, and forever more be known as the 'Physical Torturer' or PT for short!

My PT has this unbelievable way of making me grunt and pull faces that should not be done is public, it's a little embarrassing. Then I sneak a peak at everyone else and they're all doing the same thing is one way shape or form! It makes me feel so much better, I don't feel so self-conscious.

Two weeks in...I'm really enjoying my new gym program and have all up managed to lose 13 kgs and I feel fantastic - thank you Dr Cohen!!

[Not2Much]

There she is! Thank you for another humorous and very descriptive diary entry Andie!

Yes - we imagine that gyms are packed full of people showing off the latest outfits and looking that they do NEED to gym, so it's great that you found one that you're comfortable with! I love weight training, and it is something that I would like to get back to (I've been saying that for about 3 years now).

Good luck with it - it's normally not advised to start such a strict program, but you seem to be thriving and I do not see the point to stop. Besides, you are rewarding yourself in a non-food manner, so it's got to be a keeper!

Oh...and WELL DONE with such an incredible loss!

[Andie27]

I'm trying to keep myself motivated and have had an epiphany about motivation. Some of the things that I think about I have managed to articulate in a way that might help other people who read my diary - so here goes.
*I eat like I mean it! I eat all three meals making sure I sit down at the table and focus on my food.
*Protein is my new best friend. I believe that my protein and veg combo is just like putting another log on my metabolic fire - my meals are my medicine!
*I let my stomach rest between meals - don't be afraid of a little hunger pains! If it gets to the point where my guts is too hard to ignore, then I snack on my fruit.
*Try to stop thinking about my weight - I know that this is the hardest but I'm aiming for a state of mind that is one of food freedom - a state of mind where I eat to nourish myself and it just won't happen when I'm constantly worrying about the scales!
*I never refer to my Eating Plan as a diet - EVER! The word itself is too externally driven and unless I deal with my internal feelings that cause me to turn to food in the first place, then I will without a doubt revert back to my old ways and my old weight - and I so don't want that! I reckon that's why it's a 'lifestyle programme' - I have to embrace the Cohen's lifestyle in order to make it happen!
*I try to focus on the good in my life - in past I have often felt no good enough, pretty enough or slim enough (and so on) that I have tried to eat that feeling away - the more good things that I can identify in my life, the less likely I am to feel the need to fill in the 'gaps' with food.
*Speak with a kind 'inner head' voice - when I do stuff up, I speak kindly to myself and try to shrug off the negative feeling - boxing so helps with this!
*I need to pay attention to myself when I'm eating - prior to Cohen's I would sit in front of the TV and just munch and munch and munch until I realise that just been constantly eating and not paying attention to what I'm doing or how my stomach is feeling. I try to be 'present in the meal' - this way I feel like I've eaten.
*I try to 'move my body' at least 3 times a week - yes that means walking, going to the gym or finding other alternatives such as; walking around the shops, walking the dog, kicking the crap out of a punching bag, dancing in the mirror - my favourite!
*Rejoice in the fact that I'm eating food that doesn't fight my system or make me feel bloated, tired, gassy, cranky or hungry within the next half hour!
*I try to appreciate that I've been there before, acknowledging that I wasn't born with a weight problem and that at some point I have been the weight I want to be is the key to ensuring that I get there again.
*I visualize myself in my sexy slim clothes and I use this as a meditation tool actually. I close my eyes, relax my whole body and visualize myself at the shape I want to be again - I aim to do this for about 2-5 minutes everyday.
*Getting through each meal deviation free is on the top of my daily 'to do' list.
*Sleep hygiene - getting a good sleep is vital - I ensure that my bedroom is quiet and dark, I make sure that there are no electronic devices, like my phone or a TV and I try to have a relaxing shower or bath before bedtime.
*Hydrate - Water is an essential part of my lifestyle and I make sure that I drink as much as I can every day!

[Soleil]

I LOVE IT!!!!!

These are spot on and superbly put together!!! Thank you!!!!!!
In fact I got a bright idea that I will write these down and modifying some to fit me, and then read them to myself every morning and night!

Thank you for taking the time to write this list, just awesome!!!!

Soleil xx

[jessy]

oh so very true, keep this mantra it will see you through ..

[Tes]

Andie this mornings post was such a great laugh thank you!!