My Journal of Determination

[Soleil]

DETERMINATION

dɪˌtəːmɪˈneɪʃ(ə)n/ noun

1. the quality of being determined; firmness of purpose.
"those who succeed because of sheer grit and determination"
synonyms: resolution

2. the process of establishing something exactly by calculation or research.

3. Me. A 36 year old mother of two small beautiful children. Six months ago moved from one continent to another, Cohens program unfinished. Woke up to reality a few weeks back, I have piled on weight again. I have now seriously ran out of excuses, have tried to get back on the program several times realising I cannot do this alone, I need this diary to keep myself accountable. And so here I am. I'm using my old program which is most likely out of date by now and is not going to work as well as it should, but I can't order a new program as where I live there are no Cohens clinics. I will starve and have cravings because of this but I'm DETERMINED and if there are anyone there reading my posts I will show that when you are indeed determined, you can achieve anything. Big words to live up to... Day one tomorrow and about 15kg worth of laziness and self-sorry to loose.

[mesmer_eyes]

Hi Soleil!

Welcome back to the program! I like the phrase "sheer grit"

Have you tried the online clinic? I am enrolled through 1stpersonaldiet.com as there is no Cohen's clinic from where I am based. It might be worth a look..

Goodluck! And i will be watching out posts from you.. we almost have the same no. of kgs to lose..

[Howling Wind]

Did you get to refeed and maintenance last time Soleil?

By the way congratulations on a 15kg lighter you in a few weeks time.

[Soleil]

Day 1 - Weight 74,6kg

Dear Diary,

I begin my day with a big sigh as I wrote down my starting weight. 74,6kg... That is a lot for me. The stupid thing is that I don't feel or see myself that heavy. But photos don't lie and well most importantly clothes don't lie. I have in all honestly lived in the same three cotton shirts, two jumpers and one pair of pants for some time now, nothing else fits. Or they fit yes but can't hide the tummy rolls as well in them so you know, it has been nicer to wear my 'fat uniform' and eat and eat and eat and expand. Disgusting. Well at least my first goal is easy, to start fitting into something else from my wardrobe, maybe I'll actually burn my 'fat uniform',or at least those cotton shirts,god they are the most unattractive hideous things....

I woke up this morning thinking oh god did I really write my over the top stuff about being determined online, I actually have to do this now. So the power of keeping this journal worked, I have just had my first Cohens breakfast. I'm never hungry for breakfast so I'm feeling 'fabulous' and full but anxious because I know in a few hours I'll be hungry and the real work starts.

I was so so happy I had two posts here on my journal, mermer_eyes and howling wind, you two put a huge smile on my face, I thought wow truly I'm not alone doing this! Can't wait to read more about your journeys as well! I had no idea this could be done online as well, that's fantastic! I'll give this old program a go and if it looks like it won't work I'll definately sign up online, thank you for the tip!! I got within 3 kg of my goal weight before....with knowing that I'm so angry with myself getting back to the starting point again (and a bit more...) I'm such a stress eater, I need to learn how to cope with stress and not use food to sooth it.

Got to go now, back in a few hours with an update on lunch time xx

[mesmer_eyes]

Hi Soleil! 1st day yay!


The online program is heaps cheaper too than the clinic, but Im sure nothing beats the service and the person to person contact and support the clinic offers..


When i reach the office, I basically switch on the PC and open the explorer and type newyouforum.com. Announcing it to the world really does push you hey? Keep writting, keep telling people, and your ego wont let yourself fail .. and this place has all the support you can get..

[Soleil]

Day 1 - Lunch time update

Dear Diary,

And so as predicted the hunger came mid-morning and I gave it nothing but water. And I felt better. Seriously drinking water helps! I'm not a big water drinker, so this morning I prepared myself a jug filled with 2 litres of water acknowledging that one way or another I would have to make myself finish that jug today. And to continue doing that every day. Happy to announce I've had 1litre of water before lunch!

To distract myself from thinking about food too much, I went and had a bath. And it worked wonders! Relaxing and horrifying at the same time. I rather felt like a whale in that bathtub. My self-esteem is zero, but I can't wait to read these first journal entries of mine in just a few weeks time (days really) when I know I will already feel so much better. I just need to get thru these first tough days, then it'll get easier.

Lunch was a yummy steak with veggies and now I'm satisfied and feel incredibly full. Need more water now to keep this feeling of fullness going until dinner. I'm not doing snacks unless I absolutely need to, it just works out better for me like that.

I have a slight headache, most likely caffeine related so making myself a cup of tea right now. I keep on looking at that little boxing smiley icon that mesmer_eyes you have in your posts, and keep on repeating to myself I can do this, I can do this, I can do this....WE CAN DO THIS!!! Xx

[Soleil]

Day 1 - Survived the first day update

Dear Diary,

Today went surprisingly well. I felt hungry mid-afternoon again but just had my water (finished my full 2l today) and I was fine. The slight headache went with my cup of tea. I wasn't particularly hungry for my dinner but thoroughly enjoyed it and will finish the day off with an apple soon. I'm feeling tired and can't wait to go to bed feeling super pleased with myself for finishing my first day. I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow and not have such a bloated belly. I'm also feeling a little anxious as I know day 2 or day 3 will probably be the most challenging. xx

[mesmer_eyes]

You will breeze through day 2 and 3 before you know it.. just keep thinking " I dont want to start from Day 1 again, never ever again!"

Might help

[Soleil]

Day 2 - getting ready to fight for it!

Dear Diary,

And so I woke up much less bloated (happy) and ready to fight my day 2. Today I'm expecting headaches, anger, hunger, I'm expecting detox to start....

Not hungry for breakfast again, but happily ate it. Feeling strong, I will get thru these next two days, there is no way I will give up. I will be finished by May sometime. In two weeks I will already be wearing something from my wardrobe that hasn't fitted for a while, and that will feel absolutely awesome.

So hello there detox. There you go, have some water, and there a few vitamins and minerals too. Now start and stop whinging and go away. xx

[MH76]

Congratulations on starting the program. You have the right attitude to succeed. Take each day as it comes

PS - you can only go to 1stpersondiet if you don't have a clinic in your country.

[Soleil]

Day 2 - Feeling strong

Dear Diary,

Just had my lunch and so far no major detox nasties. Feeling much like yesterday, good. If anything I feel so incredibly full, it must be all the water I'm drinking. Also running to the toilet every 10 min thanks to all the H2O .

I think I just successfully made a weight ticker for myself too, so will try it now. I will only check the scale once a week though but will keep and eye on my hip measurements, any change on that one will make me very happy, even the tiniest amount, as long as it's diminishing I'm happy xx

[Howling Wind]

59 here we come - and you will be there much more faster than me. Keep on running to the loo, it is said that the fat comes out in the pee, finding it hard to believe but I am not going to question it.

[mesmer_eyes]

I wish i can look at th scale just once a week.. despite what ive read here about weighing, its so tempting to see what i have lost in a day

HW, fat coming out of the pee??? Wow.. if its true, then its great !

[Soleil]

Day 3 - Going strong

Dear Diary,

Well today's been great, I mean it just flew by! As yesterday and today were the days I was the most nervous about, I kept myself busy all day not to have too much time to think about food etc. I think I will have a rather clean house by the end of this journey !

I didn't really have a headache today, but have been rather thirsty all day, a little hungry again around my usual mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack times again but other than that, nothing to report. I'm thinking maybe I'm extra thristy because I've now learnt, thanks to Howling Wind, that is how the fat leaves the body, kind of a huge push to keep on drinking knowing that. Thank you Howling Wind !

Nothing much to report, as far as detox goes, well it's been 'easy'.... I did cut down on caffeine a few weeks back already and apart from the sweet evil little treats I used to have at evenings I don't really eat processed food or take away so perhaps I haven't had that much nasties to get rid of...

I have now done my first three days that we're my personal 'scary days' so from here on, it's smooth sailing towards my goal. Before staring this journal, and doing this program by myself, I had not managed to get past the three days so now I know that I'm here till the end and with results. This diary is a huuuuuuuuge motivator. I love it! xx

[mesmer_eyes]

see? it wasnt so bad afterall isnt it? i did experience the thirst during those times, and just kept on chugging water..

Keep going strong Soleil!

[Soleil]

Day 4

Dear Diary,

How is it day four only? Feels like I've been doing this for two weeks now!

Woke up hungry this morning, which was a bit of a change. I usually never wake up hungry. I was also out and about this morning and didn't drink so much water because I can't hold much in. Once I got back home I made up for it though. But it's been a hungry kind of day today most of the day. Not hungry like my tummy is rumbling but feeling like wanting to chew on something. Chewing gum has helped. This is probably going to sound strange but I've had this tightening feeling in my face and neck today, thinking it's most likely the bloating going down. Bring on day 5... xx

[Soleil]

Day 5

Dear Diary,

Not a great day...I woke up with a cold and fever and feel absolutely miserable. On top of everything my hubby is away on a work trip so I'm home alone looking after our two small children and poor me. Sigh. I'm trying to find the strength to make my lunch but I'm freezing and tired and totally not hungry at all. Oh what to do? My body's fighting a bug and not wanting to eat but my Cohens plan is telling me to eat.... Anyone wiser online to tell me what to do, do I force myself to eat that lunch or let it be? God I hope I'm better tomorrow..... xx

[mesmer_eyes]

Hi Soleil! I hope you feel better soon..

I did a tag search on "sick" and you may find out some answers on what to do when you are sick:

http://newyouforum.com/forum/search.php?searchid=920240

[Soleil]

Oh you cleaver chicken mesmer_eyes, thanks for that!! I can't believe how many posts there are relating to it! I ended up having my lunch today, I did get hungry for it, just a lot later. Now waiting for 5 hours to pass to finally being able to eat my dinner too, perfect time to read all those posts. Thanks again!

[Soleil]

Day 6 - Proud of myself

Dear Diary,

Survived another day despite still being incredibly sick with a cold.

I have my appetite back, which makes me happy but today struggled with water or any drink really. Somehow managed to look after the children too, dropped one of them to a birthday party and saw the chocolate cake being served. And felt totally nothing, no cravings what so ever, I think my Cohens plan in working .

These past two days have been really exhausting physically due to the cold, I can't wait to be healthy again. On a better note I haven't had too much time to think about the diet or eating so in a strange way it's been good. xx